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How to Reconnect With An Old Friend Without Making It Awkward

Remember, it's only weird if you make it weird

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

10'000 Hours / Getty Images

Why We Should Reconnect With Old Friends

Yes, things *might* get awkward, but we can make things less awkward.

We all have fond memories of an old friend—of chatting, laughing, and spending time with them. Life happens and we may have drifted apart over time, but occasionally, something may remind us of them, and we'll briefly wonder how they are.

If you’ve lost touch with a friend , you’re not alone. According to a 2016 study, people often lose touch with others after age 25. Life can get in the way, with hectic schedules, different paths, life changes, and big moves making it difficult to keep in touch with all the people in your life.

At a Glance

If you’ve been missing your friend and thinking about reaching out, you may worry about whether it’ll be just like old times or uncomfortable and awkward.

You may wonder whether you’ll have anything to talk about, whether they miss your friendship and want to be friends again, or whether there are any hard feelings. But the benefits, like reliving happy memories and reconnecting with your past self, may be worth the effort.

You can prevent awkwardness by reaching out, showing genuine warmth and interest, and bringing back fond memories.

These are some of the benefits of reconnecting with an old friend, according to Sabrina Romanoff , PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University:

Reliving happy memories: Spending time with an old friend can help us remember and relive happy memories, adventures, and the strong bonds we developed through challenging times.
Getting in touch with your past: Rekindling friendships from different times in our lives can help us reconnect with different parts of ourselves. Old friends can remind us of the person we used to be and help get us in touch with parts of ourselves that might have become suppressed over the years.
Offering a new perspective: Reconnecting with old friends can give us a new perspective on our lives now relative to the past. We can also get a perspective on the past from someone who has been through it with us.
Building your community: Reestablishing a friendship with an old friend can help us strengthen our roots and feel more grounded in our community. A deeper feeling of connectedness contributes to better well-being.

As close as we were with our friend, there may be awkwardness in the relationship now. For instance, we might experience the following:

Hurt feelings: People sometimes take friendships drifting apart personally and negatively interpret the distance in the relationship. For example, they might assume the other person did not like them enough to stay in contact or that they purposely distanced themselves. Their feelings may be hurt, or they may hold a grudge against the other person for not staying in touch.
Changes over time: Reconnecting can also be awkward because people change significantly over time, and our reference point for our old friend might be very different from the person they are today. We might find that our lives have taken radically different paths since we were younger, and it may be challenging to connect over our shared past when our present lives are so different.
Comparisons: When reconnecting with an old friend from the past, there may be a tendency to compare present situations. Negative themes of jealousy, envy, or upward social comparison could hinder reconnection.

Dr. Romanoff suggests some tips that can help us prevent any awkwardness while reconnecting with an old friend:

Reach out via social media: Connect with them through social media or text message if you’re too nervous to make a phone call or to initiate a meet up. Follow up on one of their most recent posts to spark conversation about what they’re up to. Slowly build up the relationship in a way that feels natural to you.
Show some love: If you’re genuinely happy to connect with your old friend, make it a point to communicate that to them. Be warm and affectionate with them and let them know how much it means to you. Genuine warmth can help melt away some of the awkwardness that may build up in a relationship.
Bring back a fond memory: Initiate the conversation by bringing up a cherished memory or a funny time you shared. It will transplant you both back to that moment when you were close and help smooth over the “What are you up to now?” conversations that can sometimes be rigid.
Display your interest: As you chat with your friend, let them know you’re interested in what they’re sharing with you. Paying attention , asking follow-up questions, and empathizing with them can help you connect with them and get to know who they are today.
Move past conflicts: Don’t dwell on conflicts or the reasons your friendship drifted apart. If it happens to come up naturally down the line, then feel free to address any possible hurt feelings. But, in the beginning, focus on what you had in common and the good times you shared together.
Make future plans: As you end your conversation or your meeting with your friend, make future plans with them based on shared interests.

What This Means For You

Reconnecting with an old friend can bring up a lot of emotions, including excitement, nostalgia , insecurity, and awkwardness . However, if we're able to get over the awkwardness, we can rekindle our friendship based on the times we shared with our friend in the past as we get to know them in the present.

Bhattacharya K, Ghosh A, Monsivais D, Dunbar RIM, Kaski K. Sex differences in social focus across the life cycle in humans . R Soc Open Sci . 2016;3(4):160097. doi:10.1098/rsos.160097

Blieszner R, Ogletree AM, Adams RG. Friendship in later life: a research agenda . Innov Aging . 2019;3(1):igz005. doi:10.1093/geroni/igz005

By Sanjana Gupta Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Essay on Meeting A Friend After A Long Time

Students are often asked to write an essay on Meeting A Friend After A Long Time in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Meeting A Friend After A Long Time

The joy of reunion.

Meeting a friend after a long time can bring great joy. It feels like finding a lost treasure. You see them, and a wave of memories hits you. You remember the good times, the laughter, and the shared secrets. This feeling is hard to describe, but it’s one of pure happiness.

The Surprise of Change

When you meet a friend after a long time, you might notice changes. They may look different or act differently. These changes can be surprising, but they show how people grow and evolve. It’s like seeing a favorite book character come to life in a new chapter.

Reviving Old Bonds

Meeting an old friend can help revive old bonds. You might feel like no time has passed at all. You pick up where you left off, sharing stories and making new memories. This shows the strength of friendship, no matter how much time has passed.

Value of Friendship

Meeting a friend after a long time reminds us of the value of friendship. It shows us how important it is to keep in touch with those we care about. Even if we’re busy, making time for friends can bring us great joy and happiness.

250 Words Essay on Meeting A Friend After A Long Time

Feeling of excitement.

Meeting a friend after a long time can stir up many feelings. The first feeling is excitement. You feel a rush of joy as you look forward to seeing them again. You may remember the fun times you’ve had together and can’t wait to relive those moments. This excitement can make your heart beat faster and put a big smile on your face.

Memories Come Alive

When you meet a friend after a long time, old memories come alive. You might talk about the games you used to play, the secrets you shared, or the adventures you had. These memories can make you both laugh and feel a sense of warmth. It’s like going back in time and reliving your childhood or past days.

Changes Over Time

Seeing a friend after a long time also shows you how much you both have changed. Your friend might look different or have new hobbies. You might also have changed in many ways. These changes can be surprising but they also make the meeting more interesting. You get to know each other all over again.

Renewing the Bond

Lastly, meeting a friend after a long time helps to renew your bond. It reminds you of why you became friends in the first place. You might realize that despite the time apart, your friendship is still strong. This can make you feel happy and grateful.

In conclusion, meeting a friend after a long time is a special event. It brings excitement, revives memories, reveals changes, and strengthens your bond. So, if you get a chance to meet an old friend, don’t miss it. It’s a joy that’s hard to describe in words.

500 Words Essay on Meeting A Friend After A Long Time

Introduction.

Meeting a friend after a long time can be an exciting and emotional experience. The rush of old memories, the joy of reconnecting, and the thrill of catching up on each other’s lives can be a great source of happiness. This essay will explore the feelings and experiences that come with reuniting with an old friend.

The Anticipation

The first feeling that comes when you are about to meet a friend after a long time is anticipation. You might feel your heart race a little faster and your palms might get a bit sweaty. You start thinking about all the fun times you had together and the stories you will share. You wonder about the changes that might have taken place in their life and how they might have grown as a person.

The Meeting

The moment you finally see your friend, a wave of familiarity washes over you. You might feel a burst of happiness or even get a bit teary-eyed. It feels like time has stood still and all the distance and time apart melts away. You notice how they have changed and yet, in many ways, they are still the same person you knew and loved.

Catching Up

Catching up with a friend after a long time is like reading a book you left unfinished. You are eager to know what happened next. You share about your life, your achievements, your struggles, and your dreams. You listen to their stories and experiences. You laugh at old jokes and make new ones. You feel a sense of comfort and understanding that only a true friend can give.

Rekindling the Bond

Meeting an old friend often rekindles the bond you shared. You might feel like you’ve never been apart. The shared history and common experiences bring back the closeness you once had. You realize that despite the changes, the core of your friendship remains the same. You promise to keep in touch and not let so much time pass before you meet again.

In conclusion, meeting a friend after a long time is a beautiful experience filled with joy, nostalgia, and warmth. It reminds us of the value of friendship and the importance of keeping our connections alive. No matter how much time has passed, true friendship stands the test of time and distance. It’s like a favorite book that you can pick up from where you left off, no matter how long it’s been.

Word Count: 400

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

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How To Rekindle A Friendship When You Haven’t Spoken In A Long Time

Senior Reporter, HuffPost Life

Expert tips on how to reconnect with an old friend, no matter how much time has gone by.

When you haven’t talked to a friend in a long time, whether that’s months, years or decades, reaching out again can feel uncomfortable — scary, even.

In Adam Smiley Poswolsky’s forthcoming book “ Friendship in the Age of Loneliness,” one person he interviewed referred to this communication stalemate as the “out-of-touch guilt spiral” — or when two people never end up reconnecting because they feel weird about how much time has passed and are too afraid to make the first move.

So why does texting someone you were once close to feel so unnerving? For some, it has to do with a fear of rejection, said friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson .

“There’s certainly an emotional risk involved because you’re making it known that you desire reconnection, and it’s possible that they do not reciprocate that desire,” she told HuffPost. “Rejection can make us feel embarrassed, angry and can greatly impact our overall self-esteem: ′ Am I not interesting enough? Lovable enough? Worthy enough?’”

“Friendships can ebb and flow and it’s OK to have lulls in communication every now and then — especially during the pandemic.” - Adam Smiley Poswolsky, author of “Friendship in the Age of Lonelines,”

Or, perhaps, you’re reluctant because you worry the dynamic between you two has shifted over time: What if things are awkward now? What if the conversation doesn’t flow easily? And, if it’s been a really long time since you were last in touch, you might wonder how much the other person has changed.

“The truth of the matter is ― depending on how much time has passed and why the friendship dissolved ― it won’t be like it used to, and we have to make space for that,” Bayard Jackson said. “You almost have to expect that to some extent, regardless of how strong your chemistry once was, you’ll be meeting someone new. Your humor, interests, values, and world views likely shifted during your time apart, and so it may not feel as natural as it was before.”

It may be comforting to know there are many people in the same boat who’d like to reconnect with someone but may need a nudge to do so — maybe even your old friend . This is especially true lately, given the toll the pandemic has taken on our friendships.

“Other than the very close immediate circle in someone’s life — a romantic partner, children and the few very close or best friends that are in someone’s life on a regular basis — there are those friends you care about that you just don’t seem to call, text or get together with the way you used to,” said sociologist and friendship coach Jan Yager, author of ” Friendgevity: Making and Keeping the Friends Who Enhance and Even Extend Your Life .”

If you’re looking to reconnect with one of these friends, read on. We asked experts for tips on how to rekindle a friendship, no matter how much time has passed.

Don’t beat yourself up over the lapse in communication.

Rather than dwelling on how long it’s been since you last reached out, keep your focus on the fact that you are reconnecting now.

“Friendships can ebb and flow and it’s OK to have lulls in communication every now and then — especially during the pandemic,” Poswolsky said. “In my opinion, everyone gets a pass for not staying in touch during COVID-19 — especially mothers and parents! Everyone has their hands full right now, don’t feel shame around it.”

Go into it with clear intentions and realistic expectations.

Ask yourself what’s pushing you to reach out to this person again in the first place.

“Do you miss the old days? Are you being driven by nostalgia? For many of us, we’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on old attachments during the pandemic, and a yearning for the past is common,” Bayard Jackson said.

In other cases, you may be looking to get closure on an unresolved issue from your shared past.

“Did something hurtful happen that caused you to disconnect from them?” said psychotherapist Deborah Duley, a women’s empowerment coach and owner of the counseling practice Empowered Connections . “If so, I would explore more closely if what happened is something you can work through and if so, is an apology needed or are you willing to let bygones be bygones?”

It's totally normal to feel apprehensive about reaching out to someone you've lost touch with.

Think, too, about what you’re hoping to gain by having this person in your life again.

“Having realistic expectations when rekindling a friendship is always important,” Duley added. “What is the desired outcome? Are you prepared for the friendship to be different?”

Determine which mode of communication is best.

This depends on the person and the nature of your friendship: It could be a text, a phone call, a letter or some other method entirely.

“It might be sending an article or recipe or even a meme,” Poswolsky said. “For others, you might wait until you can have a face-to-face — or mask-to-mask — conversation in-person.”

Then decide what you’re going to say.

How you approach the conversation may differ depending on how you left things the last time you talked. If it was just a gradual drifting apart, then start out with something light to break the ice.

“Like a funny picture or a meme or a fun memory that made you think of your friend,” Poswolsky suggested. “This will open things up, before diving in to the more challenging conversation of why you’ve had trouble staying in touch.”

You can also use a birthday, holiday or other special day as an “excuse” for reaching out, if that feels more natural, Duley said. And you can’t go wrong with something simple like: “I’ve been thinking about you lately. How have you been holding up? I miss you!”

Experts offer some suggestions on how to initiate the conversation.

If things ended on not-so-great terms, however, then you’ll probably want to acknowledge that in your message.

“You want to leave as little room for subtext as possible, especially if your message is coming out of the blue,” Bayard Jackson said. “Try leading with vulnerability, opening the message by naming the very reason you’ve been reluctant to make contact: ‘I’ve been wanting to reach out to you for a while, but I wasn’t sure how you’d receive it. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much fun we had last summer, and wanted to know if you’d be open to catching up some time soon. Would you be open to that?’”

Try not to freak out if they don’t respond right away.

If you don’t hear back immediately, resist the temptation to jump to the worst-case scenario: that this friend isn’t interested in hearing from you. They could be busy with work, kids, family stuff or health issues. Or maybe they just need a little time to formulate their response.

“Until proven otherwise, assume your old friend wants to hear from you,” Yager said.

But it’s OK to prepare for the possibility that things may not work out how you’d like.

Your friend might write back with emojis and exclamation points saying she’s glad you reached out and has been meaning to do the same. But it’s also possible she may tell you she’s not ready to rekindle the friendship — or she may not respond at all. It’s OK — good, even — to be hopeful, as long as you’re prepared for other potential outcomes.

“I suggest spending some time visualizing all the possibilities, and working through how you’d feel,” Bayard Jackson said. “If you’d be completely devastated by rejection — or a lack of response altogether — I’d wait until you’re in a space where you can be more focused on being proud of yourself for reaching out and taking the chance, regardless of the outcome.”

Regardless of what happens, give yourself some credit.

Whether this friend is open to reconnecting or not, you deserve a pat on the back for putting yourself out there; it’s not an easy thing to do.

“Hopefully he or she will [want to reconnect] but if he or she does not, understand and reach out to other old friends, strengthen the connections you already have currently with your circle of friends, or even work on starting new friendships,” Yager said. “Fortunately, you can start and cultivate friendships at any age and stage in your life.”

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127 Friendship Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

When you have a good friendship topic, essay writing becomes as easy as it gets. We have some for you!

📝 Friendship Essay Structure

🏆 best friendship topic ideas & essay examples, 💡 good essay topics on friendship, 🎓 simple & easy friendship essay titles, 📌 most interesting friendship topics to write about, ❓ research questions about friendship.

Describing a friend, talking about your relationship and life experiences can be quite fun! So, take a look at our topics on friendship in the list below. Our experts have gathered numerous ideas that can be extremely helpful for you. And don’t forget to check our friendship essay examples via the links.

Writing a friendship essay is an excellent way to reflect on your relationships with other people, show your appreciation for your friends, and explore what friendship means to you. What you include in your paper is entirely up to you, but this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t structure it properly. Here is our advice on structuring an essay on friendship:

Begin by selecting the right topic. It should be focused and creative so that you can earn a high mark. Think about what friendship means to you and write down your thoughts. Reflect on your relationship with your best friend and see if you can write an essay that incorporates these themes. If these steps didn’t help – don’t worry! Fortunately, there are many web resources that can help you choose. Browse samples of friendship essays online to see if there are any topics that interest you.
Create a title that reflects your focus. Paper titles are important because they grasp the reader’s attention and make them want to read further. However, many people find it challenging to name their work, so you can search for friendship essay titles online if you need to.
Once you get the first two steps right, you can start developing the structure of your essay. An outline is a great tool because it presents your ideas in a clear and concise manner and ensures that there are no gaps or irrelevant points. The most basic essay outline has three components: introduction, body, and conclusion. Type these out and move to the next step. Compose an introduction. Your introduction should include a hook, some background information, and a thesis. A friendship essay hook is the first sentence in the introduction, where you draw the reader’s attention. For instance, if you are creating an essay on value of friendship, include a brief description of a situation where your friends helped you or something else that comes to mind. A hook should make the reader want to read the rest of the essay. After the hook, include some background information on your chosen theme and write down a thesis. A thesis statement is the final sentence of the first paragraph that consists of your main argument.
Write well-structured body paragraphs. Each body paragraph should start with one key point, which is then developed through examples, references to resources, or other content. Make sure that each of the key points relates to your thesis. It might be useful to write out all of your key points first before you write the main body of the paper. This will help you to see if any of them are irrelevant or need to be swapped to establish a logical sequence. If you are composing an essay on the importance of friendship, each point should show how a good friend can make life better and more enjoyable. End each paragraph with a concluding sentence that links it to the next part of the paper.
Finally, compose a conclusion. A friendship essay conclusion should tie together all your points and show how they support your thesis. For this purpose, you should restate your thesis statement at the beginning of the final paragraph. This will offer your reader a nice, well-balanced closure, leaving a good impression of your work.

We hope that this post has assisted you in understanding the basic structure of a friendship paper. Don’t forget to browse our website for sample papers, essay titles, and other resources!

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Contemporary Understanding of Intimacy and Friendship The Social Network film discusses how Facebook was developed and the challenges of developing the giant social site. Many people are of the view that Facebook has the effect of enslaving them by making their […]
Interpretation of Friendship among Confucian and Neo-Confucian writers In his article “The Fifth Relationship; Dangerous Friendships in the Confucian Context”, Norman Kutcher explores the friendship as outlined under the Confucian system. The above writers have different interpretations of friendship of the under the […]
Why International Students Find It Hard to Make Friends On the other hand, in societies that promote a high power distance, less powerful individuals accept their position in the chain of command and acknowledge the strengths of their superiors in the hierarchy.
Gender Stereotyping and Friendship: Women Relationships The most interesting about this article is its ending which states that” the core of a friendship has to have more in-person interactions and experience”.
The Impact of Friendship in the Epic of Gilgamesh The elusive coalition between Enkidu and Gilgamesh, their fateful destinies and eventual epiphanies broaden the societal apprehension of the elements/value of friendship as expounded in the next discussion.
Woman Intimacy and Friendship with the Appearance of Social Media The anonymity provided by the social media makes this medium very appealing to both women and men as they are able to “reconstruct” themselves to a level they deem “cool” enough to garner more desired […]
Childhood Friendship and Psychology Based on their research, they have founded a theory, according to which it is assumed that the children consider close relationship, appraisals, and sharing common interests as something very important to them and on the […]
Aristotle’s Ideas on Civic Relationships: Happiness, the Virtues, Deliberation, Justice, and Friendship On building trust at work, employers are required to give minimum supervision to the employees in an effort to make the latter feel a sense of belonging and responsibility.
Gender Role Development and Friendship As far as the conflict goes, the boy’s main problem is that he is unwilling to change his behavior towards a socially accepted one under the pretext that girls are more beautiful and, therefore, it […]
Article Study on the Friendship Concept In the critical review article, the views of Norman Kutcher on the formation of friendships are discussed in detail. In this article, the views of other scholars are discussed in order to strengthen the works […]
Henry Thoreau: The Concept of the Friendship Not every person is able to understand the essence of nature, its uniqueness, and importance. To my mind, his close connection to nature and a kind of isolation from people helped him to understand deeper […]
Why Honesty Is Important In A Friendship
The Truth and Friendship in the Movie Camelot
A Discussion About the Value of Friendship as Portrayed in Damon and Pythias
What Is the Meaning of True Friendship
A Literary Analysis of Friendship in Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
Factors Contributing to the Ups and Downs of Friendship in Knowles’ A Separate Peace
Friendship and Love in the Little Prince
Confidantes, Marriage, and Friendship in Pride and Prejudice
What Makes A Successful Friendship
Understanding Friendship Through The Staircase Model
An Analysis of Friendship and Rejection in The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
A Discussion on the Different Types of Friendship
An Analysis of Friendship in Lord of the Flies by William Golding
A Literary Analysis of Friendship in a Separate Peace by John Knowles
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A Separate Peace and Of Mice and Men – Real Friendship
The Theme of True Friendship in the Book of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
The Value of Friendship in Great Expectations
What Makes A Good Friendship
The Theme of Friendship in Separate Ways by Higuchi Ichiyo and Uncanny Stories by SongLing
Virtual Friendship and the New Narcissism
The Waltz Of Sociability : Intimacy, Dislocation And Friendship
The True Meaning of the Word Friendship
A Description of Impartiality, Beneficence and Friendship According to Lawrence Blum
Aristotle ‘s Views On Friendship
Friendship and Courage in The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
An Analysis of Friendship and Loyalty in the Film The Deer Hunter
Turning Away from True Friendship
Different Types of Friendship and The Need for Friends
An Analysis of the Dangers of Friendship
The Victorian Female Friendship and Homosexual References in Emily Dickinson’s Work
What Is Friendship And How Is God Man ‘s Best Friend?
The Venerable Kassapa Thera: A Living Symbol of Dedication, Courage, Altruism and Intimate Friendship
“The Undoing Project: A Friendship that Changed Our Minds” by Michael Lewis
Building from Happiness to Friendship
What Do You Think Steinbeck Says About the Theme of Friendship in of Mice and Men
Distributive Justice and the Problem of Friendship
How Does Shakespeare Demonstrate That Love and Friendship Can Overcome Greed in the Merchant of Venice?
Does Borrowing Money From Friends Harm Friendship?
Can Friendship Be Defined by Any Scientific Criteria?
How Can Enduring Happiness Arise From Friendship?
Does Campus Diversity Promote Friendship Diversity?
Is There Any Objection to the Teacher Establishing a Friendship Relationship With the Students?
How Do Children Cope With Friendship and Death After Reading Charlottes Web?
Does Ragging Develop Friendship?
How Does Shakespeare Create Friendship?
Should Becoming Friends With Benefits Ruin Your Friendship?
How Does the Nature of Children’s Friendship Change With Age?
Do Friendships Vary Across Countries?
What Are Friends for and How Can a Friendship Be Tested?
How Does the Theme of Loneliness Affect the Friendship and Relationships in “Of Mice and Men”?
What Are the Elements That Build a Strong Friendship?
How Does Friendship Help Students Succeed in the University?
What Does Friendship Mean?
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What Does True Friendship Require?
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How Has Friendship Changed Because of the Spread of Social Networking?
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Can Everything Be Bought for Money?
How Do Gamers Take the Gaming Experience, Elements Such as Friendships Outside the Game Context?
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Chicago (A-D)
Chicago (N-B)

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Whats your Grief

Hey Old Friend: Reconnecting With People Who Matter

Support Systems / Support Systems : Litsa Williams

For further articles on these topics:

For a while now, I've been thinking about the way people come in and out of our lives. This isn’t an issue unique to grief, but it seems to come up a lot here in grief-land. When we experience a devastating loss, many dominos can fall. Sometimes friends disappear. Sometimes we isolate ourselves or alienate other people, even old friends who we love. Sometimes families have falling outs. Sometimes our priorities change and that means letting some people go. The reasons are endless.

Sometimes people disappear from our lives for reasons totally unrelated to grief. There are times when life gets busy, people move away, change jobs, have kids, and suddenly someone who meant a lot is no longer around. Whatever the reasons, sometimes we look around and realize that we just don’t have quite as much love and community as we used to or as we need. The pain of those people who have disappeared can feel even more intense when we're grieving and really could use their love and support.

This morning, I had breakfast with an old friend—a friend who goes back to college years. This is a person who just makes me feel good about life and humanity. He is a person who makes the world a better place, who makes me want to make the world a better place, and who reminds me what love, compassion, and community are all about. Before this morning, I hadn’t seen him in a few years. I would like to say that we got together because I was thoughtful and self-aware about how much I missed having him in my life, so I reached out. But that isn’t what happened. I saw him because I ran into his mom and step-dad. I know, lame. That chance encounter led to a text and a call and ultimately a breakfast where we both talked about how excited we were to see one another, to collaborate to help people grieving here in Baltimore, and to spend some time together again.

I drove away from breakfast thinking about this article. I wanted to write it because I know this is a common issue. I wanted to write it soon because the holidays are coming and our awareness of those people missing from our lives—both dead and alive—can become deeply intensified. But I just kept staring at it, thinking “I know this is important, why can’t I get it written?” I can’t say for sure what the block was, but after breakfast today, I rushed home to start writing. I think the big difference was that I remembered that feeling again. It wasn’t the abstract idea that it's hard when we lose touch with people who mean something to us. It also wasn't the vague notion that it's good to reconnect again or rekindle relationships with people who bring love, hope, and support to our lives. It was the actual feeling of being in the presence of another person who I connect with, care about, and am excited to be around (even after I let way too many years slip by).

We don’t always have control over people disappearing from our lives and sometimes there is no way to get them back. People we love die... You probably know that well. It’s probably why you’re here. In that case, there is truly no control. You can continue your bond with them , love and remember them, but you can’t make them reappear. That’s the bad news.

The good news though is: Sometimes we do have control, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Many times, we’ve just told ourselves stories that make us think we don’t. We say things like:

“Oh, it's been way too long. It would be weird to reach out."

“If my grief scared them away, they won't want to be friends or they aren’t worth being friends with.”

“I did mean things or pushed them away. They’ll never forgive me.” (We’ve written about this here .)

“They’re probably too busy, or don’t have time for me, or we’ve changed too much."

The stories go on and on.

Today’s post doesn’t have any magic solutions to people disappearing from our lives... That's a post for another day. Instead, I'll offer a few pieces of advice from a mental health professional who had a couple of really important people disappear this year, and someone who has rekindled old relationships with some really important people. These tips aren't rocket science. They aren't things you don't already know. But I hope they are the reminder or the push you need to reach out to an old friend and say Hey, I've really missed you .

If you’re feeling that your support system has dwindled, if you’ve lost touch with people you miss or who you cared about, if you’re feeling isolated and lonely:

Identify the meaningful people you've lost touch with. This might mean thinking waaaay back to an old friend from high school or college, or it may mean thinking of someone you just haven't talked to in two or three months and really miss.

Ignore those stories you're telling yourself and write a new story. Guess what? Sometimes our thoughts aren't accurate. Sometimes we have to say: Just because I am worried about something doesn't mean I shouldn't give it a try anyway. If you're telling yourself the story that it's been too long or that they're too busy, that's nothing more than a thought. It doesn't mean it's true, and it certainly doesn't mean you can't reach out anyway!

Just do it. Have you been thinking about reaching out to an old friend or family member for a while, but keep putting it off? STOP PUTTING IT OFF. DO IT RIGHT NOW. I don't want to sound cliché but, life is short!

Apologize if you need to. We all screw up. We all hurt other people sometimes. We can't control if someone forgives us, but we can say we're sorry and hope for the best. It isn't easy, but sometimes it really pays off... And sometimes people really surprise you. Don't believe me? This year, I reached out to someone I was really terrible to after eight years. Eight years! And I was terrible . Terrible! Not only did that person forgive me, but we've somehow managed to restore a friendship I thought was gone for good.

We want to know your experience. Is there someone you're going to reach out to? Have you lost touch with someone and then gotten back in touch? Leave a comment .

We wrote a book!

After writing online articles for What’s Your Grief for over a decade, we finally wrote a tangible, real-life book!

What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss is for people experiencing any type of loss. This book discusses some of the most common grief experiences and breaks down psychological concepts to help you understand your thoughts and emotions. It also shares useful coping tools, and helps the reader reflect on their unique relationship with grief and loss.

You can find What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss wherever you buy books:

Barnes & Noble
Books A Million
Hudson Booksellers

Let’s be grief friends.

We post a new article to What’s Your Grief about once a week. Subscribe to stay up to date on all our posts.

Embracing the Strength of Weak Ties

The Case for Unscripted Grief Support: Why we no longer advise people what not to say

Setting Your Grief Boundaries

when people say the wrong thing when you're grieving

4 Tips to Deal With People Who Say the Wrong Thing When You're Grieving

When You Can't Be With A Dying Family Member

28 comments on "hey old friend: reconnecting with people who matter".

anon February 7, 2023 at 11:23 pm Reply

I have been avail on FB for years. My High school( 1980’s) had one gal, who was bff, and we only did 1.2 dozen few fb text over 25 yrr period. dead head friend. suddenly she decides ” hey I am in your city” * I felt resentment. not excitement. you want me to drop paid work, spend 5 hrs in hellish traffic, spend $$ for my own lunch ? I had hard look into my needs. 1. she is making me do all the work, 2. no offer of “i buy you lunch”. 3. she gives me a tiny window, and ‘flakey hours ” so it puts my schedule into chaos last min,. so, i followed my gut, planned to repair my house, and said ” sorry but i just don’t have the short time frame outta work..ect…to visit this time

btw..she has been through my city 10 times, and NEVER reached out!!

Lilly June 21, 2022 at 3:50 am Reply

I enjoyed this article but still have mixed feelings. I’m happily Married but sometimes my mind drifts off into the past. I think about this boy that was a friend that turned into a 3 week relationship adventure, we were in high school and he was a funny kid. We kept in touch for a bit and hung out a bit after the “break up”, until my husband and I became serious and the whole friendship with exs thing was a no go. That was about 11 years ago since we “dated” and 8 years since we last hung out. Why does he sporadically cross my mind?

Litsa June 27, 2022 at 7:32 am Reply

It is impossible to say why, but often those people where things were short or easy come up. It is easy to romanticize a 3 week relationship adventure because it didn’t probably have a lot of “tough stuff” that longer relationships have when you’re older. So it’s easy for nostalgia to kick in and it can feel like an escape from all the hard or more complicated things in the present.

Remy April 15, 2022 at 6:23 am Reply

Ugh I’m dealing with this again except I’m sort of on the receiving end. My former best friend’s mom claims that her daughter misses me so I should contact her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I’m not interested in being friends with her daughter.

The last time she tried to rekindle our friendship I kept things short so her daughter would know that I have no intentions in catching up. She caught on or maybe just didn’t care as usual. When we were friends I remember it ending with me feeling like it was one sided so I silently removed myself. It seemed my friend at the time didn’t notice or care since she still didn’t initiate contact. She would repsond to me most of the time but almost never contact me first.

I don’t recall our friendship always being like that but maybe it was and I never noticed. I did talk to her about how it bothers me and she said she enjoys me contacting her but she doesn’t feel like contacting me and that it’s not her problem if I feel upset about it.

I recently ran into her mom and same thing expect she said her daughter isn’t doing well and that I should call her not text her. I didn’t have much of an emotional evocation so I guess I’m over the friendship. I don’t want to get sucked back in. I’m not looking forward to reaching out and I’ll be praying that she doesn’t pick up the phone. That friendship wasn’t healthy for me since she was mostly mean. At the time I was a people pleaser push over that tolerated too much foul treatment from everyone. Anyways I think I’ll just say Happy Easter and leave it at that.

Elohor November 9, 2022 at 11:22 pm Reply

I don’t know what say it’s been traumatizing years to meet a old friend who’s older than me and who’s taller than me and who’s knew my boundaries and my lack of abilities my lack of freedom she’s have been here for me I always fail everything to do what’s best for me. Ever since this incident happened she has been comforting me for a month… I said this was a big shocking devastating… it’s been for several days I have seen her in person Before that incident happened she hug me and said sorry for your loss I started break down in tears till I cry myself to sleep… her name is Natashae Stewart December 26th I’ve been putting my life pieces back to together I’ve been struggling at home… I couldn’t watch television anymore because of pilling up the bills…

I couldn’t sleep or eat, do my journal all I heard is knock on my window 🪟 it was her I said how did u get inside my room… she woke up me up I couldn’t go back to sleep… I wish me and her could take a relaxing road trip but it’s not going happened because I have to take care of my family is important

Hey we all made mistakes… I’ve never dance and done crazy things I’m happy I didn’t like her but now I like her 100 percent we Need be together not a apart

Today we danced 🕺 in my living room and I was being a happy girl in my life… this morning I didn’t eat so she got me food

Camille Smith September 24, 2021 at 3:50 am Reply

Thank you so much for this article. Because if you, I now know how to get my best friend back.

Star_boy2 May 4, 2021 at 11:34 pm Reply

thank you so much for this article. I was just asking for a sign earlier today if I should reach out to a significant person from my past. He was a very significant person in my life and to this day I still have dreams about him. I care about him a great deal and it pains me, as I believe he is in an unhealthy situation. He has accused me of doing multiple harmful things; none of which I have done nor would I want to do; which eventually led to our relationship falling apart at the seams. I believe he is a damaged person and his wounds are causing him to see danger and pain when in fact there is none. It keeps me up at night, wondering and hoping that he is healing and improving himself instead of succumbing to his circumstances. I can’t quite put into words how much he means to me, he is like the older brother that I never had. found family. perhaps we once were Brothers in another life, I don’t know.

I was told by someone in his life to never ever contact either of them again. I do not want to rock the boat or start up any unnecessary drama. but my God I would give anything just to be able to hold him in my arms one more time. If I could give him A hug so big and so powerful it meant all of his broken pieces back together, I would do so in a heartbeat. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should reach out or if he simply just isn’t meant to be in my life ever again. I know some people aren’t meant to be in your life for very long.

Sanney December 20, 2020 at 4:08 am Reply

Well.. I’m clueless & confused. Don’t know whether this article helped or not. Whether I screwed up or the time was fucked up. I isolated myself from my high school friends & even, they didn’t reach out. I miss them, & I used to think that there was something between us (group of 5). Few days ago, I bumped into one & realized how much everything has changed. Guess what – I’m a boring person now. We were trying to find something to talk about… that effort should not be there. Friendships are natural. Ain’t so?

On top of that, there was a girl whom I loved/love… she was the only thing I ever wanted. She… let’s just leave it there. A thought used to pop up time & again, that this won’t work out in the end. And, I ran away. Now, I miss her.

I fucked up… and everything is gone. My relationships, friendships and what not. Don’t know where I’ll end up or what will happen. Just going with the flow… hiding at the same time – from my past!

IsabelleS December 21, 2020 at 11:08 am Reply

Sanney, I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. The reality is that sometimes relationships/friendships do take effort… They don’t always come naturally. Relationships are hard… Don’t be so tough on yourself about struggling to maintain them. There is always a way forward. Have you tried seeking out the support of a therapist or counselor? All the best.

Sanney December 24, 2020 at 3:05 pm

No. Not really good at sharing my feelings with others. It’s affecting me… my personal & professional life, both. Only music is there by my side. Determined to somehow start living again… that that small array of light in this dark room!

Lily September 15, 2020 at 2:31 pm Reply

Thank you for writing this, if found it very helpful and it somehow gave me a little bit of courage to reach out to my old best friend, that I miss dearly… Even though I’m still a little bit scared to end up being ignored or rejected, I still want to try, but it’s hard I want her to forgive me for something I did long ago, but I’m afraid that she already forgot about me and moved on. I wonder what should I do…

Lily September 19, 2020 at 9:52 am Reply

Update : I finally reached her out, and she still remembered me, so you should give a try too! Take your time if you want to recontact an old friend, don’t have any regrets!

Patty August 15, 2020 at 12:12 pm Reply

I have a friend that I miss dearly. I’ve had some family emergency’s lately that have made my life difficult. I made bad decisions, some out of confusion, and I haven’t been there for them the way I’ve wanted and I never got to really show what they meant to me. I’m pretty sure they no longer want to speak, but I wish I could apologize and open up to them. Just not sure what to do.

Star_boy2 May 4, 2021 at 11:37 pm Reply

I would still encourage you to reach out. If she is a real friend, I believe she would understand if you had a family emergency and therefore was not able to be around as much. I don’t think you did anything wrong, most people I think would choose their family over their friends during an emergency. I would apologize and simply ask for forgiveness, it’s all you can do. If she is a real friend then I’m sure she will be able to understand. I like to say that actions speak louder than words. I am sending you the best of luck and my best wishes for you and her. I hope everything works out for the best for everyone.

Debbie June 17, 2020 at 4:30 pm Reply

I found your article helpful, however I find it very hard to ask for help

Michele February 28, 2020 at 10:34 pm Reply

I have a friend from us at 5 years old , stayed close until we were 30, she got involved with drugs and we were in and out of touch for years. I never stop thinking about her , I’m always looking for her , I worry constantly for her well being .I pray one day I can find her before it’s too late . I still love her regardless that will never change . I know if we saw each other it would be like yesterday ❤️

Tonya September 24, 2019 at 12:36 pm Reply

I had a bff (I thought) that I honestly thought that we would be bffs forever. She moved away and then I did as well. I would text her good morning and good night daily. The falling out came about a month ago, my family had our 3rd annual Labor Day cookout (which she and her husband had been invited to each yet, and for one reason or another they have never attended). 2 days after the cookout she texted me upset because I had not told her how it went and saying that I only text her good morning and good night. I explained that the get together was very small and a lot of people didn’t show and that I was truly upset by it. And that I always text her at those times to show that I’m thinking about her. She stopped texting altogether as did I, as I felt if she didn’t want me texting her good morning and good night then I just wouldn’t text at all. Am I wrong? How do I try to reconnect? Is reconnecting worth it? Background: I ended up staying with her for 2 weeks about 3 years ago and she went off on me for nothing in particular, she has depression problems and therefore I decided to give it another try. (I was on eggshells for the last 1/2 week and in tears) this is when her husband told me about her depression and about her being bipolar.

Cathy October 27, 2018 at 2:50 pm Reply

You can miss someone every day but that doesn’t always mean you should get back in touch with them. Especially if the reason you walked away was that they brought you mostly unhappiness because of their extreme narcissism. But I’m lonely and this was someone who was the best friend I ever had. Until they weren’t. What to do.

Halle August 11, 2018 at 11:44 pm Reply

There was a guy I used to talk to we were close friends . I could be so open with him and everything just instantly clicked , he got me and I got him. I was young at the time and going through some emotions . He was wanting to be more and I just couldn’t comprehend us at the time with my mind so scattered trying to figure myself out . He stopped talking to me for about a month and I met another guy and everything happened fast it was a toxic relashionship and he made me choose between him and my old friend who I missed . And thinking I did the right thing I chose him . As my toxic relashionship would end(many times) I would reach out to my old friend not getting to the point of a conversation and we get back together and I would cutt ties again and again . I always felt like reaching for him . And now 5 years pass and I still think about him . I always compared my bf to my old friend and he never measured up to our connection we had . I hoped eventually he would get off my mind but he hasn’t

Dan April 25, 2019 at 5:53 pm Reply

It sounds to me that your priorities were a little screwed up. Why are you trying to forget someone that was a friend? I guess I should ask why did you push away someone whom you had a good connections with and try to forget them later on down the road? It doesn’t sound like you treated him well while knowing him. But we should always try to remember the people that mean the most to us, remember the good things. You were young and confused but then in a month you were ready for this other guy that you had a toxic relationship with? Your “old friend” probably took that as an insult that you chose this other guy over him if your “old friend” had genuine feelings for you. If you still miss him after all this time then that should tell you that hes important enough to reconnect with and maybe he was the one that got away. With all that being said, life is short and tomorrow is never guaranteed. Reach out to that person because they probably miss you too and/or would like to hear from you as well. No matter what is going on in their life. Who cares if reaching out to them is awkward, maybe something that they say will make you feel better about the whole situation. Maybe not but what is the worst that can happen? He doesn’t answer…if that happens, then you can take it as some sort of closure.

Halle August 11, 2018 at 11:42 pm Reply

Armaan.Baghadiya December 23, 2018 at 4:08 am Reply

I just understood, a little feeling I had for a girl right an year ago, a feeling of friendship. It was The night of new year and Only she was there to ask me to join the party, while I was sitting in a corner of my life thinking how mess my life is. While she pushed me into the party fun and Made the enjoy the crackles and fun around. I seriously have no clue why was she so important to me. Maybe her presence made me feel too happy and got positive vibes into me.. or maybe I always felt there is someone who cares for me when I was with her. Sadly after few months of being close happy friends, I have no clue what just happened… All of sudden, everything just changed.. Even today I see her around me, She is there but I just can’t approach. Maybe I have fear.. I don’t know of what, but there is something that isn’t allowing me to go ahead and talk to her. I HAVE LOST THIS OPPORTUNITY TO BE THAT ‘CLOSE FRIEND’ OF HER…. You didn’t yet.. Go ahead and talk to your best friend. Get things clear. Just go up to him(Your Close Friend). Just for once.

Monica November 20, 2017 at 8:32 am Reply

Hi girls! 🙂

I have a question for you:

A recent ex-boyfriend just lost his mother and I want to be supportive. Our relationship was long-distance and ended a little time ago, so all I could do when he emailed me to give me the news was to offer some words and to be open in case he wanted to talk or vent, which he did a day later. I know we’re not together, but as he reached out to “ask for my support”, I got that he was in a different mood and the “us” topic wouldn’t come along, so I felt it was right to keep texting and checking in on him. But now, after two weeks, he was honest with me and told me that he wants more from me, meaning getting back together, on a “real” face to face relationship. If all I can offer him is a virtual friendship and an attentive ear, he doesn’t need anything from me at all. Not rude, but really to the point. So now I’m so sad I can no longer be there for him, given that I can’t give him what he wants. I left communication open but said I would respect his wishes and wouldn’t get in touch unless he wanted me to. I’m so so sorry for his loss but don’t want to add to his suffering right now with more drama in his life. Do you have any suggestions? What do I do now, except from nothing? Does he still want me to reach out, as I know people in grief sometimes say what they don’t mean?

Thanks a lot!

RobinA November 15, 2017 at 8:26 am Reply

There is an advantage to reaching out, even if the result isn’t exactly as you had hoped.

I had a very close best friend in college who was my roommate there for a number of years. After college I left the area, began working, and became quite immersed in my job. She kind of drifted. We lost touch because neither of us made a particular effort not to. I would periodically visit my college area to visit friends with whom I did still have contact and I would try to get together with Roommate. There was not a big effort on her part to make it happen. One of my friend told me that Roommate must not be too interested in us getting together, because she never helped make arrangements. I decided Friend was right and stopped attempting contact.

Move ahead 15 years. I still missed Roommate, even though I had new friends, and some old. I decided that *I* had to be the one to decide when to stop trying to contact, so I wrote her a letter. I did have thoughts about it being “too long,” but I ignored them. She wrote back fairly quickly and we were in touch again. I visited her several times and for some reason it seemed awkward but I did have a good time. It was weird, because other college friends I could not see for years and then we would get together and it would be like we talked every day. Anyway, we started to drift again, but I would send her a Christmas card each year, bringing her up to date on what was going on. It got to the point where I didn’t hear from her. So I decided – I would send her a Christmas card/letter each year, regardless of response, until I felt like stopping. So I did. Each Christmas I would feel like trying the contact, so I did. Never heard back. Eventually I just no longer felt the need and I stopped the card/letter. The thing is, I feel fine about it now. I don’t miss her anymore, even though I’ve never had a relationship that came close to the one we had. I stopped the attempts at contact when I felt ready and I now have no regrets, no coulda, woulda, shoulda . I did what I could, it didn’t work out, so that is that.

nicki November 15, 2017 at 4:52 am Reply

Thanks for this article. I really appreciate your blog and red many of your articles! What I miss in the above article is ideas about how to tell those old people about our loss/es. Short background: I wrote an old friend and she responded immediately. I wrote back telling her things about my life and also stated that I am not fine because of something that happened but that this isn’t appropriate to write what excactly happened in an e-mail. I stated that I nevertheless wanted to mention it and that we don’t have to write about it right now and that she doesn’t need to say something about it. And I offered that we maybe can talk about it when we meet oder talk on the phone. After that mail I didn’t receive an answer. So, what is your experience concerning old friends and (when and where) telling them about your loss/es?

I'm 68, and one of my most treasured friends is 96. I've known her since I was a child and appreciate her more the older I get.

When I was 10 I met my friend's mom Terri.
When my mom died of cancer years later, she became my sounding board and took me seriously.
I've known her for 58 years now and appreciate her more as I grow older.

We don't need institutional studies to know that having good friends makes us happier and healthier . And when we think of friendships, more often than not, we think of people who are generally around our own age.

But I've learned that intergenerational friendships , defined as those with someone at least 15 years older or younger, can be the most rewarding of them all.

One of my most unique and enduring, yet unlikely, friendships is with Terri, the 96-year-old mother of my lifelong friend, Kathy, which developed over the course of 58 years.

I was just a kid when we met

I was 10 when we met. She was a 38-year-old divorcée, singlehandedly raising her daughter in Riverdale, NY. Although she was my parents' age, she seemed hipper, perhaps because I could talk to her about subjects I would never bring up with my parents.

Along with her glamorous friends, she was emblematic of the swinging '60s — wearing stylish clothes and twisting to top 40 hits in her bathing suits at our building's swimming pool. She would give us money to buy ice cream and yell at us when we did cannonballs too close to her cabana, getting her just-coifed hair wet.

Six years later, when my own mother died from cancer , Terri gradually assumed the role of surrogate mother, becoming a non-judgmental sounding board. She opened my eyes to life's possibilities through stories about her travels to India, her days running with Frank Sinatra and his rat pack, and her work as a designer in New York's garment center.

She made room for me in her life

The daughter of Italian immigrants she always had a pot of sauce on her stove and a place for me at her table. Along with homemade panzerotti, she dished out advice, urging me to accept myself for who I was and not be deterred by life's setbacks. She instilled in me the belief that if I set my mind to it, I could achieve anything.

Years later, when my work transferred me to California, we shared tearful goodbyes. Despite the distance between us, we would speak at least once a week by phone, and since my job brought me back to New York regularly, our reunions were frequent. Those homecomings were always special — she'd whip up shrimp étouffée or osso buco, she and Kathy would get dolled up, and I'd take them out to fancy restaurants. We celebrated when I landed a job at a Hollywood studio and cried together as she silently sat vigil alongside me at my sister's deathbed.

I appreciate her more as I grow older

If I fail to call her, she rings me up and starts the conversation with "If you're busy I can call you back." Just four years away from her centennial birthday she is still a force of nature, still chic, and still venturing out to her lucky newsstand twice a week to buy lottery tickets.

The older I get, the more I appreciate her, perhaps because as I age, I realize that time is finite and precious.

Because it is, I recently told her how much she means to me. Being a sentimental soul, she cried. She has given me so much, and I've often wondered what I have given her in return. So, I asked her.

"You are the son I never had," she said. I could hear her getting choked up and didn't press her to elaborate on her feelings. I realized then that some things don't need to be said. The feelings of love we share speak for themselves. That may be the greatest lesson of them all.

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Essays About Best Friends: 5 Essay Examples and 7 Prompts

If you’re writing an essay and want to put your best friend in the spotlight, check out these essay examples on essays about best friends.

Best friends are those with whom we have formed a deep and unique bond. What makes them remarkably special is that we chose them unlike with family. For this, some even consider their best friends to be extensions of themselves.

We all trust our best friends wholeheartedly; that’s why they are the best people to confide in. And many of the lasting memories in our lives are those that we create with them. These memories could be filled with waves of boisterous laughter or even the most piercing pain when your friendship is tested.

Read on and find essay examples and prompts that could motivate you to write about best friends.

5 Essay Examples

1. how friendships change in adulthood by julie beck, 2. diamonds are not this girl’s best friend by courtney carver, 3. how to tell your best friend you’re in love with them – by those who have taken the plunge by sirin kale, 4. my best friend died: a real-life guide to coping by gabrielle applebury, 5. is it normal to not have a best friend by viktor sander, 7 helpful writing prompts on essays about best friends, 1. describe your best friend, 2. hanging out with your best friend , 3. long distance friendship, 4. cutting off toxic best friends, 5. falling in love with your best friend, 6. famous literary friendships, 7. a dog is a man’s best friend.

“Hanging out with a set of lifelong best friends can be annoying, because the years of inside jokes and references often make their communication unintelligible to outsiders. But this sort of shared language is part of what makes friendships last.”

The above essay delves into the evolution of friendship throughout the different stages of our lives, from childhood and teen years to family life and retirement. While we have all deferred a meetup with friends several times to attend to family and work, many people still treat their friendship as stable and continuous, even in long lapses in communication.

You might also find these essays about camping trips helpful.

“My best friend is a magical, rooftop sunrise. My best friend is the ocean. My best friend is a hike in the mountains. My best friend is a peaceful afternoon. My best friend is a really good book. My best friend is laughter. My best friend is seeing the world. My best friend is time with people I love.”

This essay takes on a broader definition of a “best friend,” deriving from Marilyn Monroe’s famous quote: “Diamond are a girl’s best friend.” From having excessive material wants for every occasion, the author realizes that the greatest “friends” in life are not material things but the simple joys that nature and love can bring.

“It was supposed to go the way things do in the movies. Nora would tell her best friend that she loved him, he would feel the same way and then they would kiss – preferably in the rain. So when the 30-year-old arts manager declared her love for her best friend when they were still teenagers, she expected a happy ending.”

Check out these essays about beauty .

The essay by Srirn Kale treats its readers to compelling stories of best friends ending up in marriage and those parting ways because of unrequited love. But, before taking the bold step of declaring your love for your best friend, a relationship guru advises lovers first to read the signs that signal any reciprocity of these deep feelings.

“Losing a best friend may be one of the most difficult and heartbreaking experiences you have in your lifetime. If you aren’t sure how to process that your best friend died, know that there are many healthy options when it comes to coping with this type of loss.”

Coping with losing a best friend could lead to depression or even suicidal thoughts, especially if your best friend means the world to you. Some coping tips include journaling your grieving process to understand your emotions and confusion better and doing things that can relive your best friend’s memories.

“If you are happy with the friends you currently have, there’s no need to try making a best friend for the sake of it. You might have friends but no best friend; that’s perfectly OK. It’s not necessary to have a BFF.”

Not everyone has a best friend. Some would find this fact hard to believe, but a YouGov survey has shown that 1 in 5 of the US population claims to have no close friends. The essay, therefore, explores the reasons for this friendlessness and gives tips on building a bond with potential best friends, starting with your existing circle of acquaintances.

Check out our top writing prompts to help you celebrate and write about best friends.

Essays About Best Friends: Describe your best friend

Begin this essay by describing what your best friend looks like and what traits you like most about them. Then, given these qualities, would you consider your best friend a role model? Your essay can also answer how similar you and your best friend are and what things you both agree on. But if you have more differences than similarities, write how you deal with them or put them aside.

In this essay, describe your favorite ways to hang out with your best friend. What do you like doing together? Describe what a day spent with your best friend looks like and which part you like most about your dates. If your conversations draw your mutual admiration for each other, then talk about what topics make you talk for hours on end and their perspectives on things that you find fascinating.

Do different time zones make friends grow apart? Or does distance make the heart grow fonder? First, interview two to three people whose best friends moved to a different country or city. Next, learn how frequently they communicate with each other. Finally, compile these stories and make a smooth transition to each one such that the structure highlights the challenges of long-distance friendships and how each set of friends gets by.

Discarding best friends is a hard decision. But it is also brave if you feel they are dragging you down. For this prompt, you can pose a list of questions readers can ask themselves to grasp the situation better. For example, is your friend doing you more harm than good? Have you set boundaries that they find hard to respect? Then, explain how reflecting on each question can help one determine when it is time to cut some ties loose.

Falling in love with your best friend can only end in two scenarios: a happy ever after or an end of a beautiful relationship. Expanding on our essay prompt above, list down more tips to know when it is best to confront your best friend about your feelings or work hard to quash your emotions for the continuity of the relationship.

Pick out best friends from novels that formed friendships that touched you the most. They could be Harry, Ron, Hermoine of Harry Potter, Frodo, Sam of the Lord Of The Rings, or even Sherlock and Watson From The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes. First, describe what it is in their friendship that you find most riveting. Then, narrate events that served as the biggest tests to their friendships and how they conquered these challenges.

What about dogs that some people find more lovable than others? Answer this in your essay by outlining the traits that make a dog the ideal best friend. For one, their loyalty makes us confident that they will not betray us. If you have a dog, write about the qualities that make your dog a reliable and fun companion. Then, narrate events when your dog proved to be your best friend.

If you’re still stuck, check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

If you want to ensure that your thoughts flow smoothly in your essay, check out our guide packed full of transition words for essays .

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

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How to Be a Good Friend, According to an Ancient Philosopher

The best friend of Marcus Tullius Cicero was named Atticus.

His real name was Titus Pomponius, but he took the name Atticus because of his love for Greece , especially the city of Athens in the region of Attica, where he spent many years of his adult life. He and Cicero became fast friends as young men and remained so throughout their long lives. Cicero was devoted to Roman politics and spent most of his years in that turbulent city during the first century BC, a time of tremendous upheaval and civil war. Atticus, on the other hand, watched Roman politics from the safe distance of Athens while remaining in close contact with the leading men of both sides back in Rome. Even though they were often apart, Cicero and Atticus exchanged letters over the years that reveal a friendship of rare devotion and warm affection.

In the year 44 BC, Cicero was in his sixties — an old man by Roman standards — living on his farm outside of Rome removed from political power by the dictatorship of Julius Caesar . He turned to writing to ease the pain of exile and the recent loss of his beloved daughter. In a period of months, he produced some of the most readable and influential essays ever written on subjects ranging from the nature of the gods and the proper role of government to the joys of growing older and the secret to finding happiness in life. Among these works was a short essay on friendship dedicated to Atticus.

How to Be a Friend — or in Latin De Amicitia — is arguably the best book ever written on the subject. The heartfelt advice it gives is honest and moving in a way few works of ancient times are. Some Romans had viewed friendship in mostly practical terms as a relationship between people for mutual advantage. Cicero doesn’t deny that such friendships are important, but he reaches beyond the utilitarian to praise a deeper kind of friendship in which two people find in each other another self who doesn’t seek profit or advantage from the other person.

Greek philosophers such as Plato and Aristotle had written about friendship hundreds of years earlier. Indeed Cicero was deeply influenced by their writings. But Cicero goes beyond his predecessors and creates in this short work a compelling guide to finding, keeping and appreciating those people in our lives we value not for what they can give us, but because we find in them a kindred soul.

How to Be a Friend is filled with timeless advice on friendship. Among the best is:

There are different kinds of friendships: Cicero acknowledges that there are many good people we come in contact with in our lives we call our friends, be they business associates, neighbors or any manner of acquaintances. But he makes a key distinction between these common and quite useful friendships and those rare friends we bind ourselves to on a much deeper level. These special friendships are necessarily rare, because they require so much time and investment of ourselves. But these are the friends that deeply change our lives, just as we change theirs. Cicero writes: “With the exception of wisdom, I’m inclined to believe that the immortal gods have given nothing better to humanity than friendship.”
Only good people can be true friends: People of poor moral character can have friends, but they can only be friends of utility for the simple reason that real friendship requires trust, wisdom and basic goodness. Tyrants and scoundrels can use each other, just as they can use good people, but bad people can never find real friendship in life.
We should choose our friends with care: We have to be deliberate about forming our friendships if for no other reason than that they can be very messy and painful to end if we find out the friend was not the person we thought. We should take our time, move slowly and discover what lies deep in a person’s heart before we make the investment of self that true friendship requires.
Friends make you a better person: No one can thrive in isolation. Left on our own, we will stagnate and become unable to see ourselves as we are. A true friend will challenge you to become better because he appreciates the potential inside you. “Even when a friend is absent, he is still present,” says Cicero.
Make new friends, but keep the old: No one is a sweeter friend than someone who has been with you from the beginning. But don’t limit yourself to the companions of youth, whose friendship may have been based on interests you no longer share. Always be open to new friendships, including those with younger people. Both you and they will be the richer for it.
Friends are honest with each other: Friends will always tell you what you need to hear, not what you want them to say. There are plenty of people in the world who will flatter you for their own purposes, but only a real friend — or an enemy — will risk your anger by telling you the truth. And being a good person yourself, you should listen to your friends and welcome what they have to say.
The reward of friendship is friendship itself: Cicero acknowledges that there are practical advantages to friendship — advice, companionship, support in difficult times — but at its heart true friendship is not a business relationship. It doesn’t seek repayment, and it doesn’t keep score. “We are not so petty as to charge interest on our favors,” writes Cicero. He adds, “The reward of friendship is friendship itself.”
A friend never asks another friend to do something wrong: A friend will risk much for another, but not honor. If a friend asks you to lie, cheat or do something shameful, consider carefully if that person is who you really thought he was. Since friendship is based on goodness, it cannot exist when evil is expected of it.
Friendships can change over time: Friendships from youth will not be the same in old age — nor should they be. Life changes all of us with time, but the core values and qualities that drew us to friends in years past can survive the test of time. And like ne wine, the best of friendships will improve with age.
Without friends, life is not worth living: Or as Cicero says: “Suppose a god carried you far away to a place where you were granted an abundance of every material good nature could wish for, but denied the possibility of ever seeing a human being. Wouldn’t you have to be as hard as iron to endure that sort of life? Wouldn’t you, utterly alone, lose every capacity for joy and pleasure?”

Cicero’s little book on friendship had a tremendous influence on writers in the ages following him, from St. Augustine to the Italian poet Dante and beyond, and was one of the earliest books translated into and printed in English. It is no less valuable today. In a modern age of technology and a relentless focus on the self that threatens the very idea of deep and lasting friendships, Cicero has more to say to us than ever.

Adapted from How to Be a Friend: An Ancient Guide to True Friendship by Marcus Tullius Cicero, translated and with an introduction by Philip Freeman. Copyright © 2018 by Philip Freeman. Published and reprinted by permission of Princeton University Press.

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How To Write a My Best Friend Essay

Definition: What Is a My Best Friend Essay?

Write about what you know is sage advice often given to fledgling writers. And what do many of our young students know more about than their trusty sidekick, who is a constant presence through thick and thin?

A My Best Friend Essay is precisely what it sounds like; an essay the student writes that is focused on their closest pal’s endearing attributes (and otherwise).

However, the My Best Friend Essay is more than just a chance for students to wax lyrical about their BFFs. It is an authentic opportunity for students to hone their composition skills and exercise their creative flair.

All this while talking about one of their best mate – not bad!

STRUCTURING a My Best Friend Essay

This is an essay. It says so right there in the title! Just how complex the structure of a student’s essay is will depend on essential factors such as age and ability. However, the 5-paragraph essay structure is a perfect framework for this type of composition.

One of the most beautiful aspects of the 5-paragraph essay is that it is easily modified to differentiate between lower or higher ability students by simply adjusting the number of paragraphs. The essay will still contain the same essential elements of an introduction, a body, and a conclusion, regardless of how long it is.

The 5-paragraph (or hamburger) essay is a craft in itself and much too broad a topic to go into at length. Check out our complete guide here if you want more detail on this handy essay template.

Briefly though, in essence, the 5-paragraph essay comprises three parts:

The Introduction : The opening paragraph will orient the reader to the topic of the essay, in this case, by introducing the show’s star, the best friend .
The Body : In the traditional 5-paragraph essay, this makes up three of the five paragraphs. In this type of essay, the student will use these paragraphs to flesh out the main reasons they value their friend, or (at a more advanced level) they will tell a story about them that illustrates why they are the student’s best friend.
The Conclusion : In the conclusion, the student can sum up why their friend holds the hallowed title of ‘best’. Or, at a higher level, the student can use the final paragraph of their essay to look forward to the future of their relationship with their best friend.

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My Best Friend Essay Story

While we are teaching a short essay on my best friend’, it can also be approached from another angle, i.e., as a nonfiction story.

While the clearcut essay format may be eminently suitable for younger students, you may wish to revisit this genre with older students, this time emphasising storytelling.

In this creative nonfiction approach, students can merge the essay format with storytelling elements such as character, setting, central conflict, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution.

Constructing their best friend composition in this manner allows students to work on structuring a nonfiction text. Simultaneously, it offers them a chance to develop their creative flair.

My Best Friend in 10 Lines

Another approach particularly well-suited to younger students is the my best friend essay 10 lines format.

This helps younger students get writing by giving them a clear target to aim for, which makes planning easy.

However, you can still introduce the three elements of the 5-paragraph essay here. As students list the points they want to make in their 10 lines, they can be encouraged to group these into introduction, body, and conclusion sections.

For example, a plan might look like this:

A ‘My Best Friend in 10 Lines’ Plan

Introduction

Line 1: My friend’s name.

Line 2: What she looks like.

Line 3: Where she is from/her family.

Line 4: What friendship means to me.

Line 5: How we met.

Line 6: The kindest thing she has ever done.

Line 7: The funniest thing she has ever done.

Line 8: My absolute favorite thing about her.

Line 9: Restate why she is my best friend.

Line 10: How I see our future together.

To complete their 10-line ode to their friend, the student simply builds proper sentences around each of these (or similar) ideas.

More on Planning a My Best Friend Composition

As we can see in the sample plan above, the planning process is relatively straightforward when the 5-paragraph essay structure serves as a framework. However, we may want to take things up a notch for students of a higher ability.

A good, old-fashioned brainstorming session is an excellent starting point for the student. They can list their favorite memories and their friend’s best features.

While younger students may inevitably write something of a hagiography (a biography of a saint!), older students may want to present a more realistic portrait of their ever-present amigo.

Likewise, if the student is undertaking their composition in a narrative nonfiction form, they’ll need to map out the narrative arc of their story at the planning stage.

As with any story, the conflict will serve as the engine of the narrative. However, this conflict does not have to take the form of a problem between the writer and the best friend. After all, this text is more likely to be something of a love letter than a letter of complaint. Instead, the conflict is more likely to take the form of a problem or a challenge faced by the writer and their pal together.

Whether or not the student’s text will take a full-blown story form, true-to-life anecdotes will bring life to the student’s writing. The planning process is the perfect time to dump these onto paper, even if they don’t all make it into the final draft.

How to Start a MY Best Friend Essay

As with most text types, fiction or nonfiction, the writer will want to grab the reader’s attention from the outset. An effective way of doing this is by using a hook.

How to Hook The Reader

The student writer has many methods available to grasp the reader’s attention. While some of these will only be suitable for more advanced students, most can be adapted with a bit of effort for our younger writers.

Start in the Middle of the Action

Technically known as, In Medias Res , this technique involves opening the story in the middle of a moment of dramatic tension with the exposition filled in later. This type of wizardry is probably best reserved for the more skilled student writer.

Make a Bold Promise at the Outset

The promise of a big payoff can undoubtedly catch a reader’s eye and draw them in, but the student-writer must follow through later in the text. For less experienced students, you may want to offer a writing prompt to help out here. For example,

My best friend Jack is truly one of a kind, but just how special he is wasn’t clear to me until the day a fire broke out in our school.

Students can quickly adapt such prompts by changing the event mentioned to their own circumstances.

Create a Sense of Intimacy

Another way to grasp the reader’s interest is to create a sense of intimacy right from the start. This can be achieved by addressing the reader directly in a conversational tone. Students should use informal language and approach writing their text as if they were speaking to a close friend – this is perfect for this writing style.

Open with an Anecdote

Another way to create interest (and a sense of intimacy) is to open up with an interesting anecdote about the friend. Students can select an interesting or humorous story to use as a carrot to entice the reader in. The student could substitute an exciting or amusing fact in shorter pieces for a full-blown anecdote.

Begin with a Quotation

Quotes are a great way to garner attention. There are many online repositories of inspirational quotes on every topic under the sun where students can find a golden nugget of friendship-based wisdom to open their masterpieces. They must simply type in keywords such as ‘famous’, ‘quotes’, and ‘friendship’ to uncover a smorgasbord of well-articulated wisdom for students to choose from. However, students should ensure the sentiment expressed in their selected quote ties into the type of friendship described in their work.

Working the Body

As we stated earlier in this article, the 5-paragraph essay structure, or the narrative writing arc, lays out a suitable template for the student-writer to work their way through the body of their text. However, it’s worth pointing out five areas where a little attention can significantly impact.

Get Specific

The devil’s in the details. The more specific the student is in their writing, the more effectively they will communicate with the reader.

Encourage students to be as precise as possible in their descriptions. A thesaurus is an excellent tool to help students find just the right word for the job.

Vary Sentence Length

Often, emergent writers rely on the same couple of simple sentence structures in their writing. This soon makes the writing monotonous for the reader; if they continue to read, it is only with effort that they will finish the student’s work.

Variety is not only the spice of life but also the spice of good writing. Encourage students to vary their sentence structures and alternate between long and short sentences to diversify the rhythm of their writing and evoke interest on the reader’s part.

Use Dialogue

Weaving dialogue into a my best friend essay text is a great way to bring colour and variety to a student’s writing. It also allows the student to practice punctuating dialogue – an essential skill!

Students will need to learn to listen carefully if they are to be able to write how people actually speak. Encouraging them to read their dialogue aloud is an effective way to check if it rings true.

Incorporate Literary Devices

Though this is undoubtedly a nonfiction text, it has firm roots in creative writing too. Students should incorporate some of the literary techniques and devices that we’d more commonly associate with poetry and fiction writing to add colour, creativity, and imagination to their writing.

For example, for younger students, physical descriptions of their BFF provide the perfect opportunity to introduce similes and hyperbole. Don’t be afraid to get comical here; writing should be fun, after all.

Does their friend have a big nose? How big? As big as an elephant’s trunk, perhaps?

Just make sure students avoid being too mean or poking fun at areas too sensitive for their friends.

It is easy to differentiate different abilities by challenging stronger students to use more complex literary devices in their work. Zoomorphism anyone?

Evoke the Five Senses

Emergent writers often display a bias towards only using the sense of sight in their descriptions. To bring their writing up a notch, encourage your students to employ all five senses in their writing.

By evoking the sense of hearing, smell, taste, and touch in their work, students will help their writing to come alive in the reader’s imagination.

WRAPPING THINGS Up

In a regular 5-paragraph essay, the concluding paragraph is usually the time to summarize the main arguments and drive home the thesis statement one more time. Obviously, things are a little bit different in a “my best friend essay.”

Of course, students can take the opportunity to revisit and restate the main reasons why their best friend holds the best-friend-championship belt. Still, there is a more artistic way to use their composition’s final paragraph.

Ask students to think about their friendship and where they see it in five, ten, twenty, or even forty years.

Undoubtedly, for younger students, in particular, this may be a bit of a challenge, but it can be a fun thought experiment too. Students can pose themselves questions to help, such as:

Will we be neighbours?
Will we work together?
Will our children go to school together? Etc.

Taking a tentative step into the possibilities of the future can make for an impactful ending.

MY BEST FRIEND ESSAY EXAMPLE

My Best Friend Essay | Slide2 | How To Write a My Best Friend Essay | literacyideas.com

So that should get you well on your way to creating an excellent my best friend essay that will not only get you some great grades but also score you some brownie points.

COMPLETE DIGITAL AND PRINT FUN WRITING UNIT

25 FUN and ENGAGING writing tasks your students can complete INDEPENDENTLY with NO PREP REQUIRED that they will love.

Fully EDITABLE and works as with all DIGITAL PLATFORMS such as Google Classroom, or you can PRINT them for traditional writing tasks.

RELATED ARTICLES TO MY BEST FRIEND ESSAY

How to Start an Essay with Strong Hooks and Leads

How to Write a Biography

7 Evergreen Writing Activities for Elementary Students

Figurative Language for Students and Teachers

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17 Reasons to Keep Old Friends in Your Life

By Sarah Barkley
Published on September 27, 2022
Last modified May 21, 2023

Some of your best memories include old friends. The memories might come to mind unexpectedly, leaving you wondering how that old friend is doing now. Keeping friendships in your life allows you to stay in touch and create new memories.

Life isn’t as exciting or fulfilling without friends, with the friends who knew you the longest being around for all of it. They teach you about how people work outside of your immediate family. Many of them are there for you when life gets overwhelming, guiding and supporting you through every hardship.

As you age, you may lose touch with some of your friends. You’ll create new social relationships, and others will fizzle without a cause or reason. However, you should foster those friendships and stay in touch as often as possible.

You might not be able to see old friends often, but you can find ways to reconnect. Even if you’re each on entirely different life paths, you can stay in touch and influence one another.

Seventeen Reasons to Keep Old Friends in Your Life

1 – Old Freinds can give another perspective

If your old friends aren’t in your usual social group, they can offer another perspective. It’s good to have friends that offer their opinion because they can give you an unbiased thought or solution. When you’re in the middle of a problem, it can be hard for you to see a logical answer.

2 – Friendship is one more good reason to go on vacation

If the person lives far from you, keeping in touch can give you a reason to go on vacation. While this reason is superficial, it offers a nice escape to spend time together.

You’ll make memories with your friend during your trip, allowing your friendship to last forever. These trips will be experiences you’ll never regret.

3 – Friendship improves your mental health and makes your friend happy

Connecting with old friends can improve your mental health. It also boosts your friend’s mental health, making it helpful for both of you. Your old friend will appreciate it every time you reach out to them.

4 – You don’t have to impress old friends

Lifelong friends know you as no one else does. You’ll never have to impress them or feel like you must put on a show. These are friends you can go to when you’re at your worst because you know they’ll accept you as you are.

You’ll be that person for them, too, because they know they can let their guard down. It’s a powerful connection, and you can both appreciate the benefits. These relationships can be hard to come by, so don’t let go if you find one.

5 – Nostalgia

When you spend time with old friends, you’ll experience nostalgia as it brings a feeling of youthfulness. Memories will come rushing back, making you feel comfortable and safe. You can spend time remembering how things were before, basking in the joy of your memories.

6 – Friendship eases loneliness

Connection eases loneliness and symptoms of mental health conditions. People supporting you can make you feel good and find meaning.

You can continue staying in contact if your old friend lives far away. Studies show that electronic interaction is beneficial and can decrease the risk of depression and loneliness.

7 – Old friends understand your past

When you’ve known someone for a while, they understand your past. They’ll know how your family functions and what causes stress. These friends make good people vent to when you experience family problems because they’ll understand you and offer helpful advice.

Your old friends will also know what makes you tick and how you approach conflict. They know the little details others might not recognize, showing how much they understand who you are.

8 – Remind you of imagination and innocence

Childhood friends can help you remember the feeling of imagination and innocence. You knew them when life seemed simple and it was about playing together. If you still have a friend from early childhood, it’s a blessing you shouldn’t let dismiss.

9 – Provides comfort

A friend who knew you in older periods of life can give you comfort that you can’t find elsewhere. It’s an opportunity to talk about intimate details and heartache after a tragedy. You might not feel comfortable voicing these details in other social relationships but can feel safe with an old friend.

10 – Honesty

Your old friends will likely be honest with you because they’ve known you for so long. They’ll speak up when necessary and won’t tell you what you want to hear unless it’s the truth. While you must make your own decisions, you can trust their opinion on essential topics.

11 – Old friends influenced your social network

Your high school friends helped shape your social behavior and ability to connect. They taught you that it’s essential to have support from someone other than your family. Your friendship with these people impacts how you interact as an adult, and they can continue to help you grow.

12 – Seeing how your paths connect as adults

The people you were close to in the past might lead a completely different life now. However, you might have some similarities you hadn’t considered before. Spending time with them helps you see how you’re alike later in life .

You grew together for a while, and while you branch out, you still hold a connection nothing can take away. Everyone goes on to live separate lives, and it’s always fun to catch up and reconnect with the people that knew you so well.

13 – Old friends encourage growth

Staying in touch with someone you knew from the past can encourage you to keep growing. You’ll remember how much you’ve grown since then, and it’ll push you to keep going. Or you might realize that you haven’t grown as much as you’d hoped, and you’ll get motivated.

14 – Helps you remember your journey

Your old friends can help you remember where you came from and all the obstacles you overcame. They can also help you remember all your fun and memories. You’ll see how you have evolved while you embrace the past and remember your journey.

15 – Old friends know how to make you happy

Your oldest friends know what it takes to cheer you up and make you happy. They can sense if something’s wrong and start working on brightening your spirits before you even say anything. Old friends remember the things that cheer you up and won’t hesitate to make it happen.

16 – You can see how much you’ve changed

Your relationship helps you see how much you’ve changed if you have friends you only see occasionally. These friends know you at all points in your life, reminding you of your progress. They can also help you experience gratitude for where you are now.

Seeing how much you changed can help you remember where you began. It can also push you to keep growing because you see how far you’ve already come.

17 – Intellectual conversation

Experts indicate that college friends offer academic and social support involving intellectual conversation. You likely shared enlightening moments with these friends, including voicing concerns about the future and questioning everything.

College friends also saw you in intimate moments when you let loose and had fun. They may have helped you through rough nights and been there for you during your first experience away from home. These friends will support you and challenge your thoughts or ideas as you grow.

How to Reach Out to an Old Friend When You Haven’t Spoken for a While

Many people lose touch with old friends and feel awkward about reconnecting. However, there’s nothing to worry about because they’ll likely be happy to hear from you. Either way, it’s worth the attempt.

You can call the old friend, send a text message, or reach out another way. Tell them you’ve been thinking of them and ask how they’re doing. Depending on the conversation, ask if they’d like to get coffee and catch up.

When You Shouldn’t Reconnect with Old Friends

While keeping old friends in your life can be beneficial and enjoyable, there are some instances when you should avoid them. Only reach out if you can recall positive interactions with the person. Reaching out to harmful or toxic people can be detrimental to your well-being.

Consider a few things before you reconnect with an old friend, including:

if it could be harmful to either of you
what you want from the reconnection
if you’re thinking of your best interests
whether you’re willing to share details of your life
if you feel comfortable with them

Avoid reaching out to someone if your relationship with them is unhealthy or abusive. Taking the time to understand why you want to reach out can help determine if you’re doing it for the right reasons.

Final Thoughts on Reasons to Keep Old Friends in Your Life

Old friends are treasures that you should keep in your life. They know you in ways no one else does and can bring positivity to your life.

If you’ve lost touch with old friends, reach out to them to reconnect. You’ll be glad you did, but make sure you’re not rekindling unhealthy friendships.

These reasons to keep old friends in your life can motivate you to reconnect. Don’t be afraid to invite them somewhere to catch up. Remember that they might be as happy as you are.

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About the Author

Sarah Barkley

Sarah Barkley is a lifestyle blogger and freelance writer with a Bachelor’s Degree in Literature from Baker College.

She is experienced in all things related to parenting, marriage, and life as a millennial parent, but loves to learn new things. She enjoys the research that goes into a strong article, and no topic is off-limits to Sarah.

When she isn’t writing, she is immersed in a book or watching Gilmore Girls. Sarah loves reading classic novels but also enjoys a good thriller.

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Describe an Old Friend You Got in Contact With Again: IELTS Speaking Cue Card Sample Answers

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Updated on 04 December, 2023

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Introduction:

Reconnecting with an old friend after a long period is a tale as old as time, but it's a journey that is always personal and often profound. For those preparing for the IELTS speaking test, this cue card offers the perfect opportunity to demonstrate their command of English through storytelling, reflective thoughts, and emotional articulation. In the following sections, we provide a sample answer, follow-up questions and answers, and essential tips to help you navigate this topic with confidence and grace.

Sample answer:, follow up questions & answers:, tips for cracking the ielts speaking test:, download e-books for ielts preparation.

Rekindling Past Bonds

Rediscovering Shared Memories:

Life's path is filled with twists and turns, and sometimes it leads us back to the friends we thought were lost in time. Such was the case with Jordan, my childhood friend. After nearly a decade of silence, a chance encounter on social media sparked a reunion that felt as though we were never apart.

The Unexpected Reconnection:

It was during the quiet hours of a Sunday afternoon when a familiar name popped up in my friend's suggestions. "Jordan Matthews," it read. The name alone sent a wave of nostalgia washing over me. Hesitantly, I sent a friend request, and to my delight, it was accepted within minutes. This digital handshake was the beginning of a new chapter in our old friendship.

A Cascade of Updates:

Our initial conversations were a cascade of updates, inquiries, and shared anecdotes of the years gone by. We reminisced about our school days, the pranks we pulled, and the dreams we used to talk about under the starlit sky.

Q1: How did you feel when you first contacted your friend after so long?

A1: The surge of excitement was palpable. I was engulfed by a mix of anticipation and trepidation, wondering if the connection we once had was still alive.

Q2: What changes did you notice in your friend?

A2: Jordan had matured, no doubt. The carefree child I once knew had evolved into a thoughtful and resilient individual, shaped by experiences and time.

Q3: What did you talk about with your friend?

A3: We talked about everything - from our current lives, careers, and families to reminiscing about old times, sharing laughs and even a few sighs over what had passed.

Q4: How has reconnecting with your old friend impacted your life?

A4: It's been incredibly positive. Rekindling this friendship has not only revived cherished memories but also provided a renewed sense of companionship.

Tip 1: Engage with the Topic

Delve deep into the emotional and narrative aspects of the cue card topic. Make your answer relatable and heartfelt.

Tip 2: Develop Your Ideas

Don't just scratch the surface; develop your ideas fully. If you're talking about meeting an old friend, describe the feeling, the setting, and the conversation in detail.

Tip 3: Use a Range of Vocabulary

Showcase your language skills by using a range of vocabulary, including idiomatic expressions and phrasal verbs, relevant to the topic.

Tip 4: Work on Your Pronunciation

Clear pronunciation can make a significant difference in your speaking score. Practice difficult words beforehand and speak clearly.

Tip 5: Be Coherent

Ensure your answer has a logical flow. Use connectors and discourse markers to structure your speech.

Tip 6: Stay Calm and Composed

It's normal to be nervous, but try to remain calm. Take deep breaths before speaking and pace yourself.

Tip 7: Practice Regularly

Regular practice can make you more familiar with the test format and reduce anxiety. Use a variety of topics to broaden your preparation.

Tip 8: Listen to the Questions Carefully

Make sure you understand the cue card completely and address each point.

Tip 9: Be Authentic

Speak from your experiences, as genuine content is usually more engaging and easier to talk about.

Tip 10: Use Correct Grammatical Structures

Demonstrate your grasp of grammar by using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, the IELTS cue card topic "describe an old friend you got in contact with again" is an invitation to share a personal story that resonates with universal experiences of friendship and reunion. By following the tips provided and practicing with the sample answers and follow-up questions, you can turn this topic into a compelling narrative that showcases your English proficiency and your ability to connect with the audience. Remember, each IELTS cue card is an opportunity to convey not just information, but also emotion and personal growth.

Akansha Semwal is a content marketer at upGrad and has also worked as a social media marketer & sub-editor. Experienced in creating impressive Statement of Purpose, Essays, and LOR, she knows how to captivate the attention of Admissions Committee. Her research-driven;study-abroad articles helps aspirants to make the prudent decision. She holds a bachelor's & master's degree in Literature from the University of Delhi.

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Talk About an Old Friend You Got in Contact With Again- IELTS Cue Card

Updated On Jun 28, 2023

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Talk About an Old Friend You Got in Contact With Again- IELTS Cue Card

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You should say

Who he or she is?
What he or she is like?
How did you get in contact?
And explain how you felt about it?

Sample Answer

Friends are the people who one can totally count on. The bonding of friendship is beyond the ambit of selfishness, astuteness, shrewdness and duplicity. Hence, finding or bumping into an old friend is nothing but bliss. Last week, I encountered one of my old school friends in a mall when shopping for clothes. His name is Michael and he used to be my best friend till primary school. However, we moved apart after I changed schools after being promoted to middle school.

Micahel used to be a gem of a person and was one of the sharpest minds of our entire class who used to be looked up to by all of our classmates. Consequently, he was an apple of the eyes of all of our teachers. Regardless, I befriended him because of his genteel and sincerity and his behaviour with all others. To my surprise, Michael was still the same even after so many years with the same smile, composure and that identical calmness, as if nothing had changed.

I was selecting some of the outfits and was discussing the price of the same with the shop attendant when Michael called my name. Upon looking at the caller, at first, I ignored him as I couldn’t gauge that he was an old pal of mine. When he called my name twice, I realised that he indeed was Michael. Thereafter, we laughed and guffawed galore, all the while till the time we looked at our watches. Finally, we shared contacts and planned to catch up again soon.

It was a pleasant surprise and an incredible experience. I rejoiced in our past and enacted every silly antic that we used to perform back in the day. To meet someone again from our childhood and that too when you least anticipated it is nothing less than a boon and I am glad we came in contact with each other again.

Meaning: scope Eg.: This case was beyond my ambit, so I shared it with my seniors.

Meaning: sharpness/cleverness Eg.: His astuteness and discernment made him the head of the staff.

Meaning: cunningness Eg.: Shrewdness is considered one of the essential qualities of a businessman, which is not correct.

Meaning: bluff; insincerity Eg.: Duplicity in his words raised the finger of suspicion at him.

Meaning: evaluate Eg.: I couldn’t gauge the loss before finally facing it.

Part 3 Questions

What is the influence of social media on friendships.

Social media has attenuated the spaces and gaps that are created when we move apart from our friends and kins and has played a significant role in glueing the old pals together. However, it has also curbed the intensity of the friendship to a great extent as it can never dislodge the essence of real meetups and hangouts.

Why do people lose contact with each other after graduation?

One has to go to pursue one’s endeavour and in order to follow higher education or seek a job that suits one’s education and intent, one has to move out of one’s comfort zone. Due to this, we have to distance ourselves from the place we met our friends or used to gad around during our college years.

Do you think old friends are more important to the old and young generations?

Well, honestly, it is not about the timeline or the number of years that decide the essence of real or true friendship. Frankly, it’s the quality of friendship and congeniality that one shares with people irrespective of the time.

Does friendship influence you in your personal life?

Yes, it does to a great extent. Friendship, by itself, is a significant part of one’s personal life. At most times, we discuss and chat around for hours with our friends to know their opinions on the matters that are going on in our lives.

What is the best way, in your opinion, to keep the connection among friends intact?

Well, for any relationship, regardless of its nature, the one thing that keeps the equation riveting and intact is honesty. Especially when we talk about an exclusive relationship such as friendship, there is no room for pretence, connivance and masquerade. Hence, I believe that staying true to each other is a vital attribute.

Attenuating

Meaning: mitigating Eg.: This device is made for attenuating all of our problems.

Meaning : to travel across Eg.: I used to gad around with my friends when I was in school.

Meaning: friends Eg.: I was talking to old pals of mine when I should have studied for the next day’s exam.

Meaning: conspiracy Eg.: This whole plan of connivance was cooked by your brother.

Meaning: quality Eg.: The attributes of a good student are not at all congruent with the qualities you have.

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Janice Thompson

Soon after graduating with a Master’s in Literature from Southern Arkansas University, she joined an institute as an English language trainer. She has had innumerous student interactions and has produced a couple of research papers on English language teaching. She soon found that non-native speakers struggled to meet the English language requirements set by foreign universities. It was when she decided to jump ship into IELTS training. From then on, she has been mentoring IELTS aspirants. She joined IELTSMaterial about a year ago, and her contributions have been exceptional. Her essay ideas and vocabulary have taken many students to a band 9.

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Personal Essays

A letter to an old friend

I hope you’re doing well right now. I really do. I was reminded of you today, but it’s not the first time. It was a beautiful day, which made me feel like winter is almost over. Not to sound apologetic, but I’m sorry for not writing sooner. Truly. Somehow, it took me so long to think of what to say. I’ve tried writing to you on three separate occasions, but I scrapped those ones before they could find their way to you.

I guess there are just so many things I could start with. Or maybe there’s too much that I’ve missed. If I’m being honest—and I hope you understand—I thought to myself that you must be a completely different person by now. I wondered if you were ever reminded of me. I didn’t know how to approach this because I was unsure if we’d be far apart now. Part of me worries what you would think if you saw me today. I’m almost certainly not what you picture in your mind. I’m still simplistic at heart. Disgustingly sentimental at times. Some days I just don’t feel like doing anything, which I’m sure is surprising to you. I’m not sure if I can take on the world, but I guess I’ve made a start.

There’s been so much happening recently. If you were with me right now, you would think I’m crazy. But you would love it too. There have been times when I thought I couldn’t be happier, and times where I cried more than I believed was physically possible. I moved cities and I’m living on my own, just like you always heard me talk about. I’ve grown to want better for myself, and I’m not as shy anymore. Well… maybe if it’s been a long day.

Speaking of which, time seems so much more scarce now. I try to find quiet moments where I can slow down. It makes me realize that the time we spent together is so precious. I wish I could experience it again. Then again, it’s just wistful thinking. Everyone says that we haven’t even seen how good life gets. And that we won’t believe how much we’ll have changed once we’re older. We’re just starting out. You were never apprehensive when it came to things like this. I’m not like you, but I wish I was. Sometimes, I feel small. I doubt if I’m ready. I often wonder: Did I miss some turning point? Did I miss some crucial moment? Did I not try hard enough to improve? You probably know what I’m talking about.

And over time, I realized that I’m not quite as unique as I thought. I sometimes fear that I’m already getting dull. I think there’s a sort of numbness we all become accustomed to eventually; it’s difficult to be sincerely happy. It’s not easy to be carefree when you remember there’s three midterms and a paper due in the same week… But you’ll be glad to hear that I still desire to open my heart to people. I always will. Being yourself just takes a bit of getting used to now.

I know it’s been a long time since we spoke. I have a feeling you might be holding back a little. I hope you’re being kind to yourself. Eat well! Don’t skip any meals, you’ll feel much more tired than usual (not that I’m speaking from experience…). I hope you’re not staying up too late these days. I can say that having a random burst of motivation at 2am is the most productive time you’ll ever spend getting things done. It is also a sign that you seriously need to get some rest because you’ll probably be delirious from the lack of sleep. And most of all, I know there are probably times when you’ll be overwhelmed. Times where everything seems to be too much to handle. Times where you’ll wonder if you can make it. Just do it little by little. Believe that you can get there.

I hope you’ll find the time to respond. I would be so happy to hear from you. Actually, I just hope that you’ve received this letter. Hopefully you smiled, even if only a little. Paper delivery may take a little longer, but I really think it has its own charm. Maybe because it’s the only thing I’ll patiently wait for. Please write to me soon! If you feel lonely, tell me what’s on your mind. I miss you, and you know very well how much I do. I’ll always be in your corner.

Your old friend

Note to the reader: This piece came about from a sudden urge to create. It’s not often that I’m able to channel this ~creative energy~ and let it out onto paper, but I really felt the need to write this down. I’m supposed to be doing another assignment (whoops), but I had to write this first. With the school year soon coming to a close and summer coming up, it feels a little bittersweet. It’s a sort of jumbled mix of relief, nostalgia, and the thought of saying farewell (not to be too mushy…but you get what I mean). It made me think of the many years that have passed already, and how different life is now compared to how it was before. I think of the people that I’ve lost touch with or that have moved onto a different path. I especially think of the person that I used to be. But I’ve always been someone who hates saying goodbye. So, I wanted to incorporate the hope of meeting again. I hope that by reading this, you are reminded of that. Think of an old friend, someone that you lost, someone you used to love, or even the younger version of yourself. By reading this letter, I hope you can revisit those memories.

One thought on “ A letter to an old friend ”

I’ve not spoken to my best friend ever since I was young I treated her badly and I felt heartbroken 💔 because what I did is maltreatment I felt wrongful. I hope you forgive me everything changed for the good everyone ages changed you supposed to care for me not being slack of hatred 💯 I miss her so much

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The Innis Herald wishes to acknowledge this land on which the University of Toronto and Innis College operates. For thousands of years it has been the traditional land of the Huron-Wendat, the Seneca, and the Mississaugas of the Credit. Today, this meeting place is still the home to many Indigenous people from across Turtle Island and we are grateful to have the opportunity to work on the land of Tkaronto.

Essay on My Best Friend for Students and Children

500+ words essay on my best friend.

Friendship is one of the greatest blessings that not everyone is lucky enough to have. We meet a lot of people in the journey of life but there are only a few who leave a mark on us. My best friend is one such person who has been able to make a positive impact on my life. We have been a part of each other’s lives for the longest time and our friendship is still developing. She has been with me through all the thicks and thins. Most importantly, I feel extremely fortunate to have someone as a best friend in my life. In this essay on my best friend, I will tell you about how we became friends and about her best qualities.

Our Friendship

Our friendship started when my best friend came in as a new admission to our class. Both of us were hesitant to talk to each other at first, but gradually we developed a bond. I remember the first time my best friend tried to talk to me; I rolled my eyes because I thought there was no use and we wouldn’t hit it off. However, to my surprise, we became best friends by the end of the session year.

We learned so many things about each other and found out that our taste in music and fashion was so similar. Since then, there was no stopping us. We spent all our time together and our friendship became the talk of the class. We used to help each other out in studies and visited each other’s homes as well. We made sure to have lunch together on Sundays. We also used to watch movies and cartoons together.

On our summer break, we even went to summer camp together and made a lot of memories. Once during the summer holidays, she also accompanied me to my maternal grandparents’ home. We had a fabulous time there. Moreover, we even invented our own handshake which only both of us knew. Through this bond, I learned that family doesn’t end with blood because my best friend was no less than my family. Friendship is one relationship that you choose, unlike all other relationships.

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Qualities of My Best Friend

I feel one of the main reasons why I formed such a bond with my best friend was because of the qualities she possesses. Her courage always inspired me to raise my voice against injustice as she always stood up to her bullies. She is also one of the smartest minds in class who doesn’t only excel academically but also in life. I have never seen a dancer as good as my best friend, the accolades she has won are proof of her talent.

Above all, I feel the quality that appeals to me the most is her compassion . Whether it’s towards humans or animals, she always keeps the same approach. For instance, there was an injured stray dog that was wailing in pain, my best friend did not only get him treated but she also adopted him.

Similarly, she saw a poor old woman on the streets one day and she only had money for her lunch. My best friend did not hesitate once before giving all of it to the poor lady. That incident made me respect her even more and inspired me to help the underprivileged more often.

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In short, the bond I share with my best friend is one of my most prized possessions. Both of us inspire each other to become better humans. We push each other to do our best and we are always there in need. A best friend is indeed a precious gem and I am fortunate to have found that gem of my life.

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FAQs on Essay on My Best Friend

Q.1 Why is it important to have a best friend?

A.1 It is important for everyone to have a best friend as they are our well-wishers with whom one can share everything. In other words, it gets tough to share things with your parents or siblings, but with a best friend, we never hesitate. Additionally, they always support us and boost our confidence.

Q.2 What are the essential qualities of a best friend?

A.2 A best friend should be understanding. One must be able to share anything with them without the fear of being judged. They should be supportive and encouraging of one another. Subsequently, one must always look out for their best friends in times of need.

Q.3. Should you consider all your friends on various Social media as true friends?

A.3 You may have a number of friends on Social media, but they cannot be considered as true friends. Most of them are mere acquaintances. People with whom you talk only occasionally because they are in the same school, college, colony or workplace, but there is no bond of a true friend are acquaintances. A true friend is a person to whom you would go during your hard time seeking help. However, some acquaintances may become friends as time passes by. Thus, we can say that all friends on Social media are not your true friends.

Q.4. Can you have a negative influence on your life due to friends?

A.4 Friends greatly influence one’s life. It is always said that your company defines your character. Friends with good qualities have a positive influence on your life. They motivate you and guide you. Similarly, friends who have bad qualities can negatively influence your life.

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Relationships

“We’ve both grown, just not together.”

How to end a friendship over text, according to therapists.

It isn’t always necessary to send a text to end a friendship. If you and a pal have drifted apart, you’ll probably reach out less and less often until it gets to the point where you no longer speak. This is the natural progression of many friendships as people get older, grow, and change — and that’s OK.

There are, however, quite a few circumstances where you may want to break up with a friend so that you can truly move on. In situations where a friendship is no longer in your best interests, it can be tempting to ghost or send an insincere text like, “Hey, I’m super busy but I would love to hang out when things calm down,” says mental health counselor Bernie Crowl, MHC-LP . But if you truly can’t see yourself getting together again, figuring out what texts to send to end a friendship is tough, but can ultimately spare their feelings.

You might also want to end a friendship over text if the person is toxic or draining to be around. Do they pick fights? Bring you down? Or have they betrayed your trust? “Texting can be used as an effective tool for creating a safe boundary as it reduces the ways in which the person can try to manipulate you,” says trauma-informed therapist Dr. Amelia Kelley . “By not being in person, or even on the phone, you can remain more grounded and choose how much of the interaction to participate in.” Once you end the friendship, you can block them and move on.

While it’s never easy to call off a friendship , sometimes it’s for the best. If you’re not sure where to start, these therapist-approved texts can help you break up with your old friend.

“I appreciate the invite, but my interests have shifted in the past few years and I just feel like we’ve drifted apart.”

Let’s say that one of your old party friends is really excited to get back into the bars now that they’re vaccinated, but you’ve come to appreciate quiet nights at home or have decided that you no longer want to drink . If they keep pressuring you to go out, Crowl recommends sending a text like this one to let them know where you stand.

“It’s hard to say this but I have to be honest and put myself first and not continue this friendship.”

If this friend doesn’t build you up like they used to — or if they actively tear you down — don’t hesitate to send this type of text. You don’t have to go into detail, especially if the other person doesn’t mean any harm. According to licensed behavioral therapist Sherese Ezelle, LMHC , you can still gently let them know that you won’t be available to hang out going forward.

“Due to recent conflict, I’m choosing to end this friendship.”

A text breakup like this one makes the most sense following a betrayal or big argument. If you’re feeling hurt or drained, send it and be done. “They may ask for further clarification but it is truly your choice whether or not you want to share anything further,” Kelley says. “No is a complete sentence and a boundary does not have to be justified.”

“I feel like this friendship isn’t healthy for me.”

If you don’t want to go into the details, Kelley says this text may be a good choice. “Again, you’re being clear and concise,” she says. “There is no need to justify why the relationship is hurting you unless you want to share those feelings.” If the friend gives you a hard time or doesn’t respect your boundaries, hit “block”.

“I want to be completely transparent. I’ve been feeling angry since we saw each other. This tends to happen when we spend time together, so I can no longer engage in this friendship.”

Send a text to your friend that lets them know why you want to end the friendship.

Here’s a similar text that’ll help explain where you’re at, says mental health therapist Emily Griffin, MA, LCPC . If the friend keeps pressing you to hang out, you may want to send it as a firm way to call things off once and for all.

The last thing you want is to lead someone on, Griffin says, especially if the person doesn’t realize that they’re tough to hang out with. While you don’t have to list all of their flaws, you can certainly share how you feel and why you need to back away.

“I need space from our friendship. Distance will help both of us understand who and what is important to us."

According to Dr. Easton Gaines , a licensed psychologist, it’s as important to define a friendship as it is to define a relationship . “Knowing how you feel and why you feel that way is paramount,” she tells Bustle. “What is your friend doing or not doing that is bothering you? How is this making you feel? Are you saddened, offended, frustrated?”

Send this text and then take some time to assess. If you do decide to move on, allow yourself to experience any tough emotions that arise. “It is likely that you have been reeling over this decision for quite some time,” Gaines says. “Once processed, which may be helpful with professional guidance, you will have a better appreciation for your limits and essentials.”

“I haven’t heard from you in forever and it really hurt my feelings.”

Sometimes folks have a good reason for going silent. If your friend has been busy dealing with their life, you may find that you’re able to give them space until they’re ready to reach out again. (Remember, think about how you’d want to be treated.)

That said, it’s also completely valid to feel hurt by a friend’s ongoing silence, especially if they left you hanging without explanation. In that case, Ezelle recommends sending a text like this one: “Not talking to you during this time really hurt my feelings, and I feel like in our friendship we should both be important.” Then let them know you’ll be focusing on your own needs going forward.

“We’ve both grown so much, but not together.”

Here’s another gentle way to let a friend know you want to go your separate ways . Ezelle says this is a simple, to-the-point way of calling off a friendship that’ll allow you to move on without leaving your friend to wonder what happened.

“Life has changed so much for me. I’ve done some self-reflecting and I think stepping back out into the world will look different for me.”

According to psychotherapist Lillyana Morales, LMHC , this is a great text to send when you want to shift who you interact with. If you’ve spent some time working on yourself — perhaps by going to therapy — you may realize that some old friendships no longer align with the new you.

You may want to follow up with a longer explanation, Morales says, like this one: “I wanted to reach out to let you know that I thought of you, and if I haven't said it in a while — I've appreciated all of history and memories we've created. I feel [emotion word]. I hope as you navigate these next chapters, you'll find a sense of [happiness, joy, contentment, satisfaction, etc.].”

“I care about you but being in this relationship is not something I’m able to focus on right now.”

Sometimes you can't focus on a friendship and it's time to let it go.

If your circumstances have changed, Ezelle suggests sending this text as a way to let an old pal know you’ll be focusing your attention elsewhere.

You don’t have to rub it in or explicitly say you’ve moved on, but you should let them know you won’t be available going forward, especially if you know for sure that you won’t ever see them again.

“I feel like you don’t value me as a friend.”

According to licensed clinical professional counselor Shawnessa Devonish, LCPC, NCC , this text is the ideal way to cut things off with a friend who’s repeatedly let you down. While many friendships are reparable, especially if you have a heart-to-heart conversation, it’s often best to let go of connections that make you feel bad.

“In general, you may want to end a friendship if you experience intense feelings of betrayal or rejection as a result of their actions,” Devonish tells Bustle. “Due to this, it may be best to end the friendship, even if it is through text, to prevent yourself from developing any severe abandonment wounds .”

“I need to spare myself further discomfort.”

If this person is truly toxic , make sure you word the text in a way that can’t be misinterpreted. Relationship expert Sameera Sullivan suggests sending a message like this one: “I am mentally drained and have decided to spare myself from more discomfort by distancing myself from you. The decision has already been made, so please know that nothing can convince me otherwise at this point. Please don’t reach out again."

"I've tried to have this conversation in person many times. But it's clear you aren't hearing me. I don't want to be friends anymore."

Relationship therapist Jordan Pickell, MCP RCC recommends this text if the friend isn’t listening or if they keep crossing boundaries. “Maybe you've tried to talk about your differences face-to-face and they aren't hearing you, so you've decided to switch modes of communication,” she tells Bustle. In this scenario, a text may help them understand.

“I appreciate your patience, but I’m not ready to be around others just yet. I just need a little space. I hope you understand.”

If you’re going through a rough patch in your life, send a text like this one to let a friend know where you stand. “Be upfront and honest with your feelings,” says counselor Brianna Wolf , noting it’ll help them fully understand why you’ve been MIA so they can give you the space and support you need.

While it might feel as if you want to call off the friendship, you may feel a lot better once you take some time to yourself. That’s why there’s no need to be black and white about every connection. Instead, let the friend know you need time to figure things out, then see how you feel in the future.

“I’m down for coffee.”

How to end a friendship by text, according to experts.

You may also decide that you’d like to remain friends, just not in the same capacity. “Sometimes a friendship breakup is about changing the level of intimacy,” Pickell says. “Maybe you're OK to attend the same gatherings, but you don't want a one-on-one relationship anymore. Maybe you are open to a relationship in the future. It's helpful to be clear about that.”

Bernie Crowl, MHC-LP , mental health counselor

Dr. Amelia Kelley , trauma-informed therapist

Sherese Ezelle, LMHC , licensed behavioral therapist

Emily Griffin, MA, LCPC , mental health therapist

Dr. Easton Gaines , licensed psychologist

Lillyana Morales, LMHC , psychotherapist

Shawnessa Devonish, LCPC, NCC , licensed clinical professional counselor

Sameera Sullivan , relationship therapist

Jordan Pickell, MCP RCC , relationship therapist

Brianna Wolf , counselor

This article was originally published on May 2, 2021

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Essay on Childhood

Essay On An Old Friend Found Again

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Childhood , Town , Friendship , Video Games , City , Women , Coffee , Friends

Published: 11/08/2019

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It was gloomy day in Manhattan. The sky was a sea of dark clouds threatening to burst. The streets of the city looked darker still as skyscrapers cast long shadows on roads and each other. Crowds of people were making their way to work, many of them carrying paper cups steaming with hot coffee. Coffee – just thinking of the beverage made me want to stop at the nearest Starbucks and get one for myself. I decided that would be the first thing I did when I reached the mall and began going over my shopping list in my mind.

Just as I approached my destination, the clouds exploded and it stared to rain in torrents. I ran the few feet to the entrance of the mall and went in. I did not need a map to know where the coffee shop was located. I had spent a lot of time here since my school days when I would spend Saturday nights at the gaming center with my friends. A chirpy young waitress greeted me with a big smile. I smiled back and ordered a black coffee and club sandwich. Flipping through a fashion magazine I had bought on the way, I waited for my coffee.

“Becky?” came a voice from behind me, “Rebecca Tyler?” I looked up and saw a girl, about my age, having half a smile and half a confused frown on her face. “Yes?” I replied, automatically assuming the same expression as I tried to figure out how I knew this girl. She was a tall brunette with a pleasant face that I somehow knew. Then the girl gave a huge smile and I knew. “Stella!” I exclaimed as I got to my feet,

“God! It’s been ages!”

“Since 6th grade?” she beamed as she gave me a hug. “Yeah, you said you were moving to Boston,” I recalled. “Well, I am back!” she said, twirling around on her toes. “Still into ballet?” I asked, smiling as I remembered how we looked as two 11 year olds, wearing pink tutus, giving broken toothed smiles. “Forever!” Stella exclaimed and we laughed. She was in town for a few days visiting an aunt. Stella’s appearance had changed a lot but, then again, so had mine. We were not teenage imitations of Britney Spears anymore!

We sat there at the coffee shop, had two rounds of coffee and spoke without a pause. We talked about other friends and where they were now.

We spoke about all the things that had happened in our lives in the past years. We went to the gaming center which was renovated now and played our favorite racing game. It somehow seemed more fun than racing a real car! Having found a friend from my childhood reminded me just how carefree we were back then. One of the biggest worries on our minds was homework. I tried to remember the pure happiness of being a child.

Stella and I spent hours just walking around the mall we visited as children and felt like little girls again. We exchanged addresses and phone numbers and promised to meet up every month with our other friends in the city. Of course, we are not always able to keep this promise but whenever we do get together, it feels like we are reliving our childhood. It’s a great feeling.

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My Best Friend Essay in English (100, 200, 300, 500 Words)

A best friend is a special and unforgettable person in our lives and will stay longer than other common friends. We share most of the things, conversations, and important talks and support them anytime in our lives.

In this topic, we are discussing the best friend and the memories that we all spent with our friends and best friends.

We have covered an essay pattern in various paragraphs of around 100 words, 200 words, 300 words, and 500 words, respectively, that helps many of the children or students of class 2 to 12th to understand the short and descriptive essay pattern of the best friend.

Table of Contents

My Best Friend Essay 100 Words

I always thank God that he sent Rahul into my life as my best friend, and I also wish that everyone has a friend like Rahul. Rahul and I met on the first day of school after the summer vacation when we were studying in the 5th standard.

I also remember an incident when our class teacher asked him about his previous school and the place from where he came. He is a good speaker, and he gave an interesting answer to everyone in his introduction in class.

He is good at studies and also a good athlete. He loves running and singing too, and his handwriting is also very neat and clean. I feel happy to become his friend, and he also loves my company, and we spend most of our time together.

My Best Friend Essay 200 Words

I have had a lot of friends since childhood, but Raghav is one of the kindest and most trustworthy friends for me. I must say that Rohan has been my best friend since childhood. He is a very good person and a true friend because he has a good manner that he never lies to anyone, and hates people who lie to him. He is a kind boy and also a sincere student. We both live in the same building, and our apartments are also in front of each other.

My parents also met my friend in the school at the parents-teachers meeting, and they also like Raghav and his sincerity. We both have been in the same class from the 3rd standard until now. We are in the 10th standard now, and we both help each other in the preparation for Board exams, which will be held in the month of March.

He always invites me to his house to play video games with him. Every Sunday, we both enjoy playing video games with popcorn and juice together. Sometimes, our school teachers also wonder about our true friendship and the strong bond between us. He has a set of badminton rackets and a shuttle, and we also play together in the evening near our building. We both love each other’s company.

My Best Friend Essay 300 Words

Everyone has at least a single friend who is more than just a friend to them. Getting a friend is common, but getting a true friend is very rare and a bit special. It is like a big achievement for people to get a trustworthy and lifelong best friend. I also had a best friend in my life too since childhood. His name is Ganaraj, and his mother is Telugu. We are neighbors too and also classmates. We always sit together in school and also spend most of the time together.

He is a very talented person and always supports me in my studies. We both like mathematics, and also we love to solve maths numerical problems. I like to play games, and we both always play games together and participate in the sports that are held in school. Our favorite sport is Cricket, and we both are good all-rounders on our school cricket team. Our class teacher always suggests and supports us to play cricket even better and also helps in education to achieve success in life.

He is very valuable to me, and I always value his friendship as I value my parents. He is like my family, as a brother from another mother. Whenever I need his help and support, my best friend is there for me to hold me. We both live in the precious moment and create memories that will stay with me forever. Our friendship is a kind of beautiful relationship, and I hope any kind will never break these mistakes. Every Sunday, we go together to a playground near our locality, and we spend most of our time there. My parents also like Ganaraj to be my friend. Everyone is happy with our friendship and has a strong bond that never goes down in any situation.

My Best Friend Essay 500 Words

My best friend’s name is Siddhart Jadhav. We have been friends since class 7th A in Alfred Nobel High School. We both studied in the same school in childhood but not in the same class as our sections are different. Later that time, all the students from all the sections are sorted according to the previous academics’ percentages and grades and separated into four different sections. Due to this separation, I met Siddhart in the 7th A, and we became friends at that time. Later, time goes by, and our friendship bond becomes stronger, and we become best friends with each other and spend most of our time together in school, tuition, and extra classes. We also sit on the same bench in the classroom.

Our likes and dislikes are also common, and we also love to dance and sing. In every annual gathering and other function that is held in our school, we both participate and give our best performances. We never wanted to win the competitions, our intention was to enjoy the gathering. Some of our school teachers don’t like our togetherness and friendship, but some of them loved and always blessed our strong bonded friendship to stay longer and longer. Siddharth and I always talked in the running classroom, and most of the time, our teacher also punished both of us by standing outside the classroom. We always tried to irritate the lecturer in the chemistry lectures by asking tons of doubts and questions. We eat tiffin boxes sitting on the last benches.

Apart from this naughtiness, Siddharth is very punctual, and he is never late for coming to school and attending classes. He always completes his homework at a given time and being with him, I also start studying very well and completing my homework on time. He keeps his books and copies very clean. His writing is very nice and encourages me to write cleanly and clearly for better understanding. My parents also compliment my friend that being with him, I also become responsible and a good student.

Siddharth and I are both excellent football players and athletes. When we both start playing the football game, the opponent team never wins. Our sports teacher always motivates us and tells us that we will become good football players one day. My parents also know Siddharth very much, and they like his pleasant behavior. Feel free when Siddharth and I stay together, whether for playing games, video games, study, or for going out to have fun with other classmates. Siddharth is my best friend, my first friend. He is the one who offers me help in my studies when I need it, supports me and always shows love to me, defends me, and stands by my side in any situation no matter what.

In academics, my best friend, Siddharth, is chosen to be awarded the best student of the year in the 10th class. He is one of the brilliant students of our school and also won many of the competitions that were held in school. He is like a well-wisher, and I always enjoyed his company. He, too, feels secure and relieved by spending time with me as well. He is like a problem-solving friend to me. I never wanted to lose him in my life.

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Essay, Paragraph, Speech on “Meeting an Old Friend” Complete English Essay for Class 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, Graduation classes.

Meeting an Old Friend

Meeting an old friend is a very pleasant experience. It brings in its wake sweet and sad memories. Last week. I was travelling by the superfast train. I was on my way to New Delhi. When the train stopped at Ambala Cantt, a young and well-dressed person boarded our compartment. He was carrying a hand bag. His seat was booked next to mine. When I looked at him closely, I found that he was Virinder Shukla who was my class-mate at school. I asked him if he was Virinder. He said that he was. He also recognised me. We hugged each other. We had met after fifteen years. He was now an executive officer in a multinational company. He was settled at New Delhi and had come to Ambala in connection with some business matter. He told me that his parents lived with him in his own house. I told him about myself. We were very glad to meet each other. We talked about our school days and refreshed memories of those days. We were so deeply engrossed in our talks that we didn’t know when we reached New Delhi. We exchanged our name cards and invited each other. We parted on a joyful note.

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Oxford University Press's Academic Insights for the Thinking World

Walter W. Skeat and the Oxford English Dictionary

Origin Uncertain: Unraveling the Mysteries of Etymology

Anatoly Liberman's column on word origins, The Oxford Etymologist , appears on the OUPblog each Wednesday. Subscribe to Anatoly Liberman’s weekly etymology articles via email or RSS .

By Anatoly Liberman
April 17 th 2024

For many years, I have been trying to talk an old friend of mine into writing a popular book on Skeat. A book about such a colorful individual, I kept repeating, would sell like hotcakes. But he never wrote it. Neither will I (much to my regret), but there is no reason why I should not devote another short essay to Skeat. In 2016, Oxford University Press published Peter Gilliver’s book The Making of the Oxford English Dictionary , a work of incredible erudition. Skeat is mentioned in it many times, and I decided to glean those mentions, to highlight Skeat’s role in the production of the epoch-making work.

Twenty-six years separated the day on which the idea of the dictionary was made public and the appearance of the first fascicle. Countless people contributed to the production of the OED , but the public, if it knows anything about the history of this project, has heard only the name of James A. H. Murray , its first and greatest editor. This is perhaps as it should be, but in the wings we find quite a few actors waiting for broader recognition. One of them is Walter W. Skeat , a man of incredible erudition and inexhaustible energy. I have lauded him more than once (see, for example, the post for November 17, 2010 , reprinted in my book Origin Uncertain … .). However, today I’ll use only the material mentioned in or suggested by Peter Gilliver.

Skeat was not only the greatest English etymologist of his time (in a way, I think, of all times, despite the progress made by this branch of linguistics since 1912, the year he died). In 1873, he also founded the English Dialect Society and remained active in it as secretary and later director until 1896 (in 1897, after fulfilling its function, the society was dissolved). He edited the numerous book-length glossaries published by the society; attended its meetings wherever they were held, and without him Joseph Wright ’s work The English Dialect Dictionary (1898-1905), still a source of inspiration to students of English, would probably not have been completed.

Among very many other things (!), he was a founding member of The Early English Text Society , and in 1865, he became a member of its committee. Neither post was “ceremonial,” for it presupposed a lot of work. Last but not least, Skeat was a generous man, a rare quality in scholars. For instance, he contributed a large sum of money to the Dialect Society at its inception, and much earlier, in 1885, he loaned Murray £1,660 for the purchase of a house in Oxford, the location of the future famous Scriptorium . Curiously, to this day, it is often the philanthropists who subsidize historical linguistics.

In the early eighteen-seventies, some influential people suggested that Skeat should become the main figure in the production of what became the OED . Fortunately, he concentrated on editing medieval texts and writing his etymological dictionary. He would not have become a second Murray, but by way of compensation, no one else would have done so much for the study of word origins and early English literature. Amazingly, Murray, a wonder of erudition, had little formal education and no university degree, while the Reverend Skeat’s background was in the classics. As individuals, Skeat and Murray represented different psychological types. Skeat was impatient and ready to bring out a book, not yet quite perfect, in the hope of a revised version. He would have been satisfied with a much smaller OED , while Murray made no concessions to haste (his invariable goal was absolute perfection, a wagon hitched to a star) and advised Skeat to wait for the completion of the OED before publishing his etymological dictionary. Fortunately, his suggestion fell on deaf ears, but Skeat’s readiness to agree that the text of the OED might be shortened infuriated Murray. (The episode was the result of a misunderstanding, and Skeat apologized.)

At that time, all thick dictionaries appeared in fascicles, which presupposed a good deal of competition among the lexicographers, the more so as a relatively small circle of publishers was involved. The people whom we know only from the names on the covers of their works were often not only colleagues and even friends but also rivals. At a certain moment, Skeat concluded that the Clarendon Press had declined to take on the OED and turned to the Press with an offer of his own etymological dictionary. As it happened, the two projects ran concurrently and did not get into each other’s way. Skeat’s work appeared in 1882, two years before the first fascicle of the OED came out. Murray once commented on Skeat’s dependence on the research at the OED , but Skeat responded rather testily that the OED had also had access to his findings. Yet Skeat remained Murray’s trusted friend and often maneuvered among various projects, to prevent other publishers from interfering with the OED . Though also hot-tempered, he was more diplomatic than Murray, and the relations between the two men remained friendly and even warm for years. To James Murray, Skeat’s death in 1912 was a heavy blow. He survived Skeat by three years. (Skeat: 1835-1912, Murray: 1837-1915.)

Throughout his life, Skeat supported the OED by his reviews (today it seems incredible that once not everybody praised Murray’s work) and kept chastising his countrymen for their ignorance and stupidity when it came to philology. He never stopped complaining that people used to offer silly hypotheses of word origins, instead of consulting the greatest authority there was. He also tried to encourage Murray, who often felt exhausted and dispirited. This is the letter he wrote to Murray, when he was working on cu -words: “I could find enough talk to cumber you. You could come by a curvilinear railway. Bring a cudgel to walk with. We will give you culinary dishes. Your holiday will culminate in sufficient rest; we can cultivate new ideas, & cull new flowers of speech. We have cutlets in the cupboards , & currants , & curry , & custards , & (naturally) cups . […] Write & say you’ll CUM!” Nor did Skeat stay away from the least interesting part of the work connected with the OED and often read the proofs of the pages before they went into print.

Gilliver states that Skeat’s support for the Dictionary and its editors in so many ways places him alongside Furnivall and Henry Hucks Gibbs. Gibbs was “a wealthy merchant banker (and director of the bank of England) who would go on to become one of the Dictionary’s greatest supporters… He had been reading for the Dictionary at least since July 1860.” And the somewhat erratic Frederick James Furnivall (1825-1910) earned fame as a central figure in the philology of his day, even though today only specialists remember him.

A picture of Furnivall can be seen on p. 12. Gibbs appears sitting in a comfortable armchair on p. 43, and on p. 67, an entry for rebeck “a rude kind of fiddle” (among other senses), subedited by Skeat, is photographed. Quite a few more bagatelles of this type can be produced by an attentive reader of Peter Gilliver’s monumental book, but for the moment, I’ll stay with Skeat.

Header: James Murray photographed in the Scriptorium on 10 July 1915 with his assistants: (back row) Arthur Maling, Frederick Sweatman, F. A. Yockney, (seated) Elsie Murray, Rosfrith Murray. Reproduced by permission of the Secretary to the Delegates of Oxford University Press.

Anatoly Liberman is the author of Word Origins And How We Know Them , An Analytic Dictionary of English Etymology: An Introduction , and Take My Word For It: A Dictionary of English Idioms .

Anatoly's latest book, Origin Uncertain: Unraveling the Mysteries of Etymology (OUP, 2024), is available to pre-order.

His column on word origins, The Oxford Etymologist , appears on the OUPblog each Wednesday. Send your etymology question to him care of [email protected] ; he’ll do his best to avoid responding with “origin unknown.”

Subscribe to Anatoly Liberman’s weekly etymology articles via email or RSS .

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NPR suspends veteran editor as it grapples with his public criticism

David Folkenflik

NPR suspended senior editor Uri Berliner for five days without pay after he wrote an essay accusing the network of losing the public's trust and appeared on a podcast to explain his argument. Uri Berliner hide caption

NPR suspended senior editor Uri Berliner for five days without pay after he wrote an essay accusing the network of losing the public's trust and appeared on a podcast to explain his argument.

NPR has formally punished Uri Berliner, the senior editor who publicly argued a week ago that the network had "lost America's trust" by approaching news stories with a rigidly progressive mindset.

Berliner's five-day suspension without pay, which began last Friday, has not been previously reported.

Yet the public radio network is grappling in other ways with the fallout from Berliner's essay for the online news site The Free Press . It angered many of his colleagues, led NPR leaders to announce monthly internal reviews of the network's coverage, and gave fresh ammunition to conservative and partisan Republican critics of NPR, including former President Donald Trump.

Conservative activist Christopher Rufo is among those now targeting NPR's new chief executive, Katherine Maher, for messages she posted to social media years before joining the network. Among others, those posts include a 2020 tweet that called Trump racist and another that appeared to minimize rioting during social justice protests that year. Maher took the job at NPR last month — her first at a news organization .

In a statement Monday about the messages she had posted, Maher praised the integrity of NPR's journalists and underscored the independence of their reporting.

"In America everyone is entitled to free speech as a private citizen," she said. "What matters is NPR's work and my commitment as its CEO: public service, editorial independence, and the mission to serve all of the American public. NPR is independent, beholden to no party, and without commercial interests."

The network noted that "the CEO is not involved in editorial decisions."

In an interview with me later on Monday, Berliner said the social media posts demonstrated Maher was all but incapable of being the person best poised to direct the organization.

"We're looking for a leader right now who's going to be unifying and bring more people into the tent and have a broader perspective on, sort of, what America is all about," Berliner said. "And this seems to be the opposite of that."

Conservative critics of NPR are now targeting its new chief executive, Katherine Maher, for messages she posted to social media years before joining the public radio network last month. Stephen Voss/Stephen Voss hide caption

Conservative critics of NPR are now targeting its new chief executive, Katherine Maher, for messages she posted to social media years before joining the public radio network last month.

He said that he tried repeatedly to make his concerns over NPR's coverage known to news leaders and to Maher's predecessor as chief executive before publishing his essay.

Berliner has singled out coverage of several issues dominating the 2020s for criticism, including trans rights, the Israel-Hamas war and COVID. Berliner says he sees the same problems at other news organizations, but argues NPR, as a mission-driven institution, has a greater obligation to fairness.

"I love NPR and feel it's a national trust," Berliner says. "We have great journalists here. If they shed their opinions and did the great journalism they're capable of, this would be a much more interesting and fulfilling organization for our listeners."

A "final warning"

The circumstances surrounding the interview were singular.

Berliner provided me with a copy of the formal rebuke to review. NPR did not confirm or comment upon his suspension for this article.

In presenting Berliner's suspension Thursday afternoon, the organization told the editor he had failed to secure its approval for outside work for other news outlets, as is required of NPR journalists. It called the letter a "final warning," saying Berliner would be fired if he violated NPR's policy again. Berliner is a dues-paying member of NPR's newsroom union but says he is not appealing the punishment.

The Free Press is a site that has become a haven for journalists who believe that mainstream media outlets have become too liberal. In addition to his essay, Berliner appeared in an episode of its podcast Honestly with Bari Weiss.

A few hours after the essay appeared online, NPR chief business editor Pallavi Gogoi reminded Berliner of the requirement that he secure approval before appearing in outside press, according to a copy of the note provided by Berliner.

In its formal rebuke, NPR did not cite Berliner's appearance on Chris Cuomo's NewsNation program last Tuesday night, for which NPR gave him the green light. (NPR's chief communications officer told Berliner to focus on his own experience and not share proprietary information.) The NPR letter also did not cite his remarks to The New York Times , which ran its article mid-afternoon Thursday, shortly before the reprimand was sent. Berliner says he did not seek approval before talking with the Times .

NPR defends its journalism after senior editor says it has lost the public's trust

Berliner says he did not get permission from NPR to speak with me for this story but that he was not worried about the consequences: "Talking to an NPR journalist and being fired for that would be extraordinary, I think."

Berliner is a member of NPR's business desk, as am I, and he has helped to edit many of my stories. He had no involvement in the preparation of this article and did not see it before it was posted publicly.

In rebuking Berliner, NPR said he had also publicly released proprietary information about audience demographics, which it considers confidential. He said those figures "were essentially marketing material. If they had been really good, they probably would have distributed them and sent them out to the world."

Feelings of anger and betrayal inside the newsroom

His essay and subsequent public remarks stirred deep anger and dismay within NPR. Colleagues contend Berliner cherry-picked examples to fit his arguments and challenge the accuracy of his accounts. They also note he did not seek comment from the journalists involved in the work he cited.

Morning Edition host Michel Martin told me some colleagues at the network share Berliner's concerns that coverage is frequently presented through an ideological or idealistic prism that can alienate listeners.

"The way to address that is through training and mentorship," says Martin, herself a veteran of nearly two decades at the network who has also reported for The Wall Street Journal and ABC News. "It's not by blowing the place up, by trashing your colleagues, in full view of people who don't really care about it anyway."

Several NPR journalists told me they are no longer willing to work with Berliner as they no longer have confidence that he will keep private their internal musings about stories as they work through coverage.

"Newsrooms run on trust," NPR political correspondent Danielle Kurtzleben tweeted last week, without mentioning Berliner by name. "If you violate everyone's trust by going to another outlet and sh--ing on your colleagues (while doing a bad job journalistically, for that matter), I don't know how you do your job now."

Berliner rejected that critique, saying nothing in his essay or subsequent remarks betrayed private observations or arguments about coverage.

Other newsrooms are also grappling with questions over news judgment and confidentiality. On Monday, New York Times Executive Editor Joseph Kahn announced to his staff that the newspaper's inquiry into who leaked internal dissent over a planned episode of its podcast The Daily to another news outlet proved inconclusive. The episode was to focus on a December report on the use of sexual assault as part of the Hamas attack on Israel in October. Audio staffers aired doubts over how well the reporting stood up to scrutiny.

"We work together with trust and collegiality everyday on everything we produce, and I have every expectation that this incident will prove to be a singular exception to an important rule," Kahn wrote to Times staffers.

At NPR, some of Berliner's colleagues have weighed in online against his claim that the network has focused on diversifying its workforce without a concomitant commitment to diversity of viewpoint. Recently retired Chief Executive John Lansing has referred to this pursuit of diversity within NPR's workforce as its " North Star ," a moral imperative and chief business strategy.

In his essay, Berliner tagged the strategy as a failure, citing the drop in NPR's broadcast audiences and its struggle to attract more Black and Latino listeners in particular.

"During most of my tenure here, an open-minded, curious culture prevailed. We were nerdy, but not knee-jerk, activist, or scolding," Berliner writes. "In recent years, however, that has changed."

Berliner writes, "For NPR, which purports to consider all things, it's devastating both for its journalism and its business model."

NPR investigative reporter Chiara Eisner wrote in a comment for this story: "Minorities do not all think the same and do not report the same. Good reporters and editors should know that by now. It's embarrassing to me as a reporter at NPR that a senior editor here missed that point in 2024."

Some colleagues drafted a letter to Maher and NPR's chief news executive, Edith Chapin, seeking greater clarity on NPR's standards for its coverage and the behavior of its journalists — clearly pointed at Berliner.

A plan for "healthy discussion"

On Friday, CEO Maher stood up for the network's mission and the journalism, taking issue with Berliner's critique, though never mentioning him by name. Among her chief issues, she said Berliner's essay offered "a criticism of our people on the basis of who we are."

Berliner took great exception to that, saying she had denigrated him. He said that he supported diversifying NPR's workforce to look more like the U.S. population at large. She did not address that in a subsequent private exchange he shared with me for this story. (An NPR spokesperson declined further comment.)

Late Monday afternoon, Chapin announced to the newsroom that Executive Editor Eva Rodriguez would lead monthly meetings to review coverage.

"Among the questions we'll ask of ourselves each month: Did we capture the diversity of this country — racial, ethnic, religious, economic, political geographic, etc — in all of its complexity and in a way that helped listeners and readers recognize themselves and their communities?" Chapin wrote in the memo. "Did we offer coverage that helped them understand — even if just a bit better — those neighbors with whom they share little in common?"

Berliner said he welcomed the announcement but would withhold judgment until those meetings played out.

In a text for this story, Chapin said such sessions had been discussed since Lansing unified the news and programming divisions under her acting leadership last year.

"Now seemed [the] time to deliver if we were going to do it," Chapin said. "Healthy discussion is something we need more of."

Disclosure: This story was reported and written by NPR Media Correspondent David Folkenflik and edited by Deputy Business Editor Emily Kopp and Managing Editor Gerry Holmes. Under NPR's protocol for reporting on itself, no NPR corporate official or news executive reviewed this story before it was posted publicly.

Katherine Maher
uri berliner

An old barn falls down like a house of cards, and a house is hit with pickles

This barn on South Street in Wrentham collapsed on April 4.

Every day, police officers respond to reports of all sorts of events and nonevents, most of which never make the news. Here is a sampling of lesser-known — but no less noteworthy — incidents from police log books (a.k.a. blotters) in our suburbs.

DOWN TO THE GROUND

A barn in Wrentham came crashing to the ground on April 4, but thankfully no one was hurt. Firefighters secured the perimeter around the collapsed barn on South Street and Police Chief Bill McGrath shared photos of the structure — or what was left of it — on Facebook . “The barn, attached to [a] home, seems to have collapsed under its own weight, possibly due to weather, its age, and being in general disrepair,” McGrath wrote, “though no official cause has been determined.”

THIS IS NOT PICKLEBALL

On March 30, a man was watching television at Sandwich home when he heard two loud thuds against the front of the building. “When he went out, he was unable to locate the source of the jarring noise,” police wrote on Facebook . “But then, his wife noticed green stains on the door and evidence that two large pickles had been thrown at the entrance to the domicile.” Police said officers documented the incident and took photos of the scene. “Based on the way they exploded, these were not Vlasic crunchy dills,” police wrote. “Most likely they were off brand Ocean State Job Lot pickles ... We relish the opportunity to put these guys in the can because this kind of behavior is not kosher.”

HELPING HANDS

When 59-year-old John Hogan of Raynham , went for a jog one morning last month, he wasn’t planning to end up unconscious on the ground. But that’s what happened when he suffered a heart attack. At approximately 10:30 a.m. March 10, three good Samaritans saw Hogan lying prone on King Philip Street and stopped to help him. One called 911 while the two others — Danielle Vlachos and Kelsi Korzeniowski — took turns administering CPR until first responders arrived and continued efforts to revive Hogan, who no longer had a pulse. Paramedics used a defibrillator and Hogan was taken by ambulance to Good Samaritan Medical Center in Brockton . While he was being rushed to the hospital, he regained his pulse. Weeks later, Hogan contacted the Raynham Fire Department and said he wanted to thank everyone for saving his life. And he got the chance to do just that April 6, when he was reunited with Vlachos, Korzeniowski, and the members of the Raynham fire and police departments who assisted him. “It’s amazing that people have come together to do something for someone that they don’t know personally, and that’s the magic of just being a good person and doing the right thing,” Hogan said in a statement . Fire Chief Bryan LaCivita said the police and fire departments were happy to hear from Hogan and they were glad he was doing better. “Everyone involved, from the bystanders to our paramedics, contributed to saving his life and it’s a true testament to the value of knowing how to administer CPR,” LaCivita said.

GETTING CARDED

At 4:14 p.m. March 22, Cohasset police received a call from a liquor store on Route 3A after the manager there checked a female customer’s ID and thought it was fake. “Girl said it is not,” the police log entry stated. “She is still there and manager will not give it back.” Police responded and advised the manager that her out-of-state license, which was issued in Connecticut, was indeed valid.

DROPPING LIKE DOMINOES

Rutland police Sergeant Troy Chauvin was called up for emcee duty at an interesting event at Naquag Elementary School April 12. He served as the special guest announcer when the school lined up cereal boxes in the corridors of the building and had them knocked down like dominoes. Chauvin had the honor of knocking over the first one, and the department shared a video on Facebook of the moment when all the boxes fell, a mesmerizing sight. The fun was for a good cause, as the school collected the 619 boxes (554 boxes of cereal, plus 65 boxes of mac n’ cheese, rice, and other foods) so they could be given to a local food pantry.

Emily Sweeney can be reached at [email protected] . Follow her @emilysweeney and on Instagram @emilysweeney22 .

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Sign up for essence newsletters the keep the black women at the forefront of conversation., a grieving wisconsin community remembers sade robinson, a 19-year-old college student murdered and dismembered after a first date.

A Grieving Wisconsin Community Remembers Sade Robinson, A 19-Year-Old College Student Murdered And Dismembered After A First Date

Family, friends and members of the community gathered on Friday night at Kilbourn Reservoir Park in Milwaukee to remember and honor Sade Carleena Robinson.

The 19-year-old college student was murdered and dismembered after she went on a first date with a man earlier this month.

“I’m still grieving tremendously,” Robinson’s mother, Sheena Scarbrough, said, according to The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel .”This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my entire life.”

According to prosecutors, Scarbrough’s daughter, went on a first date with Maxwell Anderson, a 33-year-old bartender in Milwaukee on April 1. Robinson was reported missing the next day and a dismembered body part was found in a park. Since then, other body parts believed to belong to Robinson have been discovered in Milwaukee County.

Human remains found on the shores of Lake Michigan as recently as Thursday are believed to be those of Robinson. A person found a torso and an arm on a remote stretch of tree-lined beach of Lake Michigan, the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement per NBC News.

Although it has not yet been forensically confirmed, investigators are confident the remains are those “of Sade Robinson, 19, [who] MSCO investigators believe was murdered by Maxwell Anderson” earlier this month.

Several body parts have been discovered since April 2, including a severed right leg found in Warnimont Park. This leg has been identified as Robinson’s based on preliminary findings, according to a criminal complaint filed as reported by NBC News.

“Unidentified remains were discovered April 5, 6 and 7 in one area of Milwaukee, city police said.” According to the complaint, ” a human foot found on April 6 adjacent to train tracks appeared to be that of the same person as the right leg.”

“This is traumatizing to see. I never expected this to pull up on my front door,” Scarbrough, told Nancy Grace on her talk show “Crime Stories with Nancy Grace.”

“This isn’t normal. This is a 2024 Jeffrey Dahmer,” Scarbrough said referring to the fact taht body parts believed to Robinson’s keep turning up across Milwaukee County.

“The last time I spoke to my daughter was on Easter Sunday. We seen her, she came by my parent’s home, we spent the Sunday together,”

Scarbrough said that the last time she saw and spoke to her daughter was on Easter Sunday, March 31. Robinson was reported missing the next day, on April 1st the evening that she went on a date with Anderson and was killed.

“Sade was a beautiful soul. She was an amazing girl. I couldn’t have asked for any better daughter. There was things my daughter did that many adults were not even able to accomplish in their lifetimes,” Scarbrough said.

Robinson was supposed to graduate with her associate’s degree in criminal justice next month.

“This has caused so much emotional effect to my family, and my parents who love my baby so much, her grandparents, her uncle, her aunties, the community. Everyone has pulled up. This has affected many people in Milwaukee,” Scarbrough said.

To help the family deal with this tragedy, a friend of Scarbrough started a GoFundMe fundraiser for Robinson’s funeral, which is tentatively scheduled for May 9, according to the page.

“It’s hard for Sade to rest in peace, when we are literally searching for her remains,” Brown said at the community vigil.

Anderson was arrested and remains at the Milwaukee County Jail with bail set at $5 million, according to NBC News. A hearing is scheduled for Monday.

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A mother releases video of her autistic son being hit by an aide on a school bus to raise awareness

Devon Vestal, front, and his wife, Jess, react as they listen during a news conference to announce plans to sue the Littleton, Colo., school district for abuse suffered by their autistic child while riding the bus to class Tuesday, April 9, 2024, in Denver. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

From left, Devon and Jess Vestal join Brittany Yarborough and her husband, Kevin, look on during a news conference to announce plans to sue the Littleton, Colo., school district for abuse suffered by their autistic children while riding the bus to class, Tuesday, April 9, 2024, in Denver. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

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DENVER (AP) — In January, Jessica Vestal’s 10-year-old autistic son, who cannot speak, came home from school in suburban Denver with bruises all over his body. Other injuries followed, including a black eye in February, which she said a bus aide blamed on him hitting himself with a toy, and a bruised foot in March.

It wasn’t until Vestal asked to review the bus surveillance video last month, which she made public Tuesday , that she learned the bus aide was abusing her son.

The aide, Kiarra Jones, 28, has been charged with one count of third-degree assault on an at risk person, according to court records. She was released from jail shortly after her arrest but did not return a telephone call seeking comment at a number listed for her. She is being represented by lawyers from the public defender’s office, which does not comment to the media on its cases.

In an April 5 letter to parents, Littleton Public Schools superintendent Todd Lambert said Jones was terminated after her arrest.

“This kind of behavior cannot be and is not tolerated. As parents, you trust us with the well-being of your children and you should never have to worry about them being harmed when they are in our care,” Lambert wrote.

Prison psychological specialists Christine Ransom, top right, and Randy Kulesza, top left, lead a group session for inmates, Dec. 14, 2023, in the Neurodevelopmental Residential Treatment Unit at Pennsylvania's State Correctional Institution in Albion, Pa. The prison unit is helping men with autism and their intellectual and developmental disabilities stay safe behind bars while learning life skills. The unit is the first in the state and one of only a handful nationwide. (AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)

The district on Tuesday did not respond to requests to comment on allegations made by Vestal, her lawyers and other parents that the district failed to investigate what was behind the unexplained injuries suffered by their children. They are considering a lawsuit against the school district.

Since learning what happened to Vestal’s son, Brittany Yarborough now believes Jones is also responsible for injuries her 11-year-old nonverbal son received on the same bus.

In a statement, police in Englewood, Colorado, said they found that more than one autistic student was abused and are continuing to review an “extensive amount” of video and other evidence to make sure all the victims are identified.

Vestal said she could only watch about two minutes of her son getting elbowed, punched and hit but wanted to release the footage because she suspects this is happening to other children without anyone knowing.

“You can’t see how awful it is without looking at it,” she said. “And if he had to live through it, I think the least everybody else could do is pay attention to it so that it doesn’t happen again.”

This story has been corrected to show that Jones has been charged with one count of third-degree assault on an at risk person, not one count of abusing a person in a position of trust. It has also been corrected to show her age is 28, not 29.

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Nine-year-old among four killed in car crash in Western Australia

Three brothers and family friend died at the scene in Clackline in the state’s wheatbelt

Three brothers, one of them only nine years old, and a family friend have been killed in a car crash in the Western Australian wheatbelt region.

The brothers, aged 21, 19 and nine, died at the scene in Clackline in the early hours of Friday morning, along with a 45-year-old man, who was visiting from NSW.

Police Supt Gene Pears said the accident site about an hour north-west of Perth was a confronting scene for first responders.

“This is a heartbreaking incident … unimaginable,” he told reporters.

The 21-year-old was driving and the family friend was travelling in the passenger seat when the silver Nissan Navara left the road and hit a tree about 12.30am.

The younger man’s brothers were in the ute’s back seat.

“When you lose three young men in the prime of their life and their friend, this will have lifelong impacts for that family, for their friends and for our community,” Pears said.

“This is a heartbreaking incident for WA … my heart goes out to the families.”

Major crash investigators are investigating the incident.

Anyone with information or dashcam footage of the ute before the crash is urged to contact Crime Stoppers.

Western Australia

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Reliving happy memories: Spending time with an old friend can help us remember and relive happy memories, adventures, and the strong bonds we developed through challenging times. Getting in touch with your past: Rekindling friendships from different times in our lives can help us reconnect with different parts of ourselves. Old friends can remind us of the person we used to be and help get us ...
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For many years, I have been trying to talk an old friend of mine into writing a popular book on Skeat. A book about such a colorful individual, I kept repeating, would sell like hotcakes. But he never wrote it. Neither will I (much to my regret), but there is no reason why I should not devote another short essay to Skeat. In 2016, Oxford University Press published Peter Gilliver's book The ...
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How To Rekindle A Friendship When You Haven’t Spoken In A Long Time

Don’t beat yourself up over the lapse in communication.

Go into it with clear intentions and realistic expectations.

Determine which mode of communication is best.

Then decide what you’re going to say.

Try not to freak out if they don’t respond right away.

But it’s OK to prepare for the possibility that things may not work out how you’d like.

Regardless of what happens, give yourself some credit.

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We wrote a book!

You can find What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss wherever you buy books:

Let’s be grief friends.

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I'm 68, and one of my most treasured friends is 96. I've known her since I was a child and appreciate her more the older I get.

I was just a kid when we met

She made room for me in her life

I appreciate her more as I grow older

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17 Reasons to Keep Old Friends in Your Life

Seventeen Reasons to Keep Old Friends in Your Life

1 – Old Freinds can give another perspective

2 – Friendship is one more good reason to go on vacation

3 – Friendship improves your mental health and makes your friend happy

4 – You don’t have to impress old friends

5 – Nostalgia

6 – Friendship eases loneliness

7 – Old friends understand your past

8 – Remind you of imagination and innocence

9 – Provides comfort

10 – Honesty

11 – Old friends influenced your social network

12 – Seeing how your paths connect as adults

13 – Old friends encourage growth

14 – Helps you remember your journey

15 – Old friends know how to make you happy