homework assignments for couples therapy

Boston Couples Therapy

• Adam Goodman

5 Thoughtful Homework Assignments for Couples in Therapy

Write a letter.

The first homework exercise to try is to write a letter about your partner’s best qualities. Write what you love most about them and why they are so special to you. After writing the letter, write the response from their perspective on their best qualities that they notice in themselves and how being with you makes them feel. This exercise will help you to see the best qualities in your partner and allow you to understand more about what they love about themselves.

Identify Things They Do That Makes You Happy

Another exercise is to think of one thing that your partner has done or said recently that made you really happy. Ask yourself if there are patterns in those moments: when do these things tend to happen? What activities seem to lead up to this positive interaction?” Ask your partner if they have noticed the same patterns or if they see things differently. This is also a wonderful way to create more empathy and understanding for one another.

Every day, for at least two weeks (depending on how quickly you catch on), take five minutes and write down three things that went well today or what made your partner happy. This can be as simple as going out for ice cream with friends when it’s not their turn for childcare. The idea is that there should always be more positive than negative in the world; so by taking even just a few moments every day to check in, you can make sure that your partner knows what made them happy and reinforce those positive interactions.

Reflecting on your current or recent feelings is a great way to get more in touch with what you’re feeling and it can help your partner do the same. With your partner, start by trying to reflect on how you are feeling right now, and what things in the current moment bring up those feelings. This is a good time to ask your partner if they are feeling anything similar.

While giving gratitude may sound cliche, it does actually matter; there are studies showing that people who do this have lower levels of depression and anxiety than those who don’t. Being mindful about what is good in our lives leads to us appreciating other aspects as well – even if we might not be feeling so great overall right now.

Create a Memory Book

One fun homework assignment for couples in therapy is to create a book of memories that span over your time together. This means going back through photographs, letters, notes, etc. Anything meaningful! There are no rules other than both partners taking part- provide some context by writing about what happened at the moment these things occurred when possible (this may take more effort from one person).

Use "I Feel" Statements

A fourth homework exercise is to try and have a conversation about your feelings, in which you start with the sentence “I feel…”

For example:

“I feel really sad. I think that’s because my mom ____.”

This specific homework assignment may be too difficult for some couples as it deals with strong emotions, but if this one fits you well then it can be very helpful. It also helps the person who feels more hurt or vulnerable to know their partner cares enough to listen. And, even when they don’t understand what has caused the pain, just saying “I’m here,” validates those raw feelings of anger or sadness.

You could also practice “alternative empathy.” Alternative empathy is a type of empathy that is not just feeling for someone else. It’s more about understanding and being able to see through their perspective with nonjudgmental kindness. This means you help them feel better by trying to understand what has gone on in their life, where they are coming from, and then offering your support.

The hardest part of practicing alternative empathy is the fact that we don’t always know what our partners are going through. We can only imagine, and sometimes it’s hard to do this because if you’re not careful, you might assume things about them based on your own life experience which could be limiting.

The best way I have found to practice empathy is by not expecting anything in return; just being there with a person who may or may not even want your help at the time will benefit them later. This means offering without expectation but understanding where they come from while also honoring their boundaries. It helps us see ourselves as someone else would and how our intentions might make others feel.

Consider Your Senses Together

A final homework assignment for couples in therapy to try is to spend time each day considering the five senses. It’s so easy in our busy lives to just go through life on autopilot and not really be present for anything we’re doing, but this exercise will help you experience the world around you as if it were new again while also creating a space where your partner can share their thoughts without any pressure or expectations.

If you like working on your relationship outside of the therapy office or tele-meeting, try one of these exercises. Let me know how it goes. If you are considering starting couples therapy, get in touch with me today !

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25 Couples Therapy Worksheets, Questions & Activities

Maggie enthusiastically works with people to foster self-determination and encourages them to grow in a safe therapeutic environment. She has a background in psychology and... Read More

Rachael Pace inspires with motivational articles on loving partnerships. She encourages making room for love and facing challenges together.

In This Article

If you’re having a high level of conflict in your relationship or want to learn healthy communication strategies to prevent problems from cropping up between you and your partner, couple therapy may be a worthwhile investment. 

If you go to therapy with your spouse or significant other, you will likely be given some couples therapy worksheets to identify strengths and concerns in the relationship. These might help you learn more about each other’s needs. 

These worksheets will supplement the work you do with your therapist. 

What is couples therapy and what is couples counseling?

Before learning about couples therapy activities and worksheets, it is helpful to understand what couples therapy is. People may even use the terms counseling and therapy interchangeably, but there can be differences between the two. 

For example, counseling tends to be shorter-term and less clinical. A couple’s counselor may offer guidance and help couples to find solutions to their problems.

On the other hand, couples therapy sessions are more clinical. A therapist may help you and your partner to evaluate underlying issues, subconscious thoughts, or issues from your past that are creeping into the relationship and causing problems in the present. 

Regardless of whether you choose therapy or counseling, you will likely be asked to complete specific couples therapy worksheets or bonding exercises for couples to help you meet your goals for the relationship. 

What type of therapy is best for married couples?

There are multiple therapeutic techniques available, but there is not one single couple therapy worksheet that is best or that works for everyone. 

A couples therapist can help you and your partner select a program that best fits your preferences and situation.

Maggie Martinez , LCSW, says,

When you are looking for a couples therapist, be upfront about any presenting problems to ensure a good fit.

You might consider some of the techniques below.

1. Psychodynamic couples therapy 

One common couple therapy technique is psychodynamic couples therapy. This therapeutic approach assumes that relationship problems arise from unaddressed childhood problems and subconscious thoughts and motivations. 

For instance, people in a relationship may be reliving issues with their parents in the context of a relationship. If a woman has an unresolved conflict with her father, she may be unknowingly trying to resolve that conflict by projecting it onto her partner.

Psychodynamic therapy also addresses our subconscious beliefs and motivations. We all learn what marriages and relationships should look like by watching our parents. We then carry our expectations into our adult relationships . 

If these relationships look different from what we learned growing up, we may think there is something wrong, when in reality, our partner has different expectations than we do.

Maggie further adds,

Psychodynamic therapists will usually let you know up front this is the therapeutic technique they primarily use.

Fortunately, these differences can be worked out using couples therapy worksheets. 

2. Gottman’s couples counseling

Another one of the common couple therapy techniques is Gottman’s couples counseling. Gottman is a pioneer in marital therapy, and his principles teach couples to change their behaviors to resolve problems and improve their relationship. 

Research has shown that Gottman’s approaches are beneficial for improving intimacy in relationships , and this effect is long-lasting. 

3. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

CBT is a common therapeutic approach, and you can apply it to therapy with couples. This approach states that unpleasant emotions and undesired behaviors result from distorted thinking patterns. 

Couples learn to change their thinking patterns in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) sessions, improving the relationship. 

4. Emotionally-focused couples therapy

Some couples may benefit from working with a counselor who practices emotionally-focused couples therapy. Couples therapy exercises utilized in this approach focus on helping couples to discontinue negative interaction patterns and strengthen their bond. 

Couples also become more skilled in sharing their emotions, showing compassion for each other, and changing how they communicate. Studies of couple therapy techniques have found that emotionally-focused couples therapy improves marital satisfaction. 

Relationship evaluation checklist

A relationship evaluation checklist is one of the relationship activities you might perform before even going to counseling. This checklist allows you to answer “yes” or “no” to a series of questions that evaluate the relationship’s health. 

Areas where you answer “no” may indicate a problem that may need to be addressed in therapy.

Some common questions that may be included on a relationship evaluation checklist are as follows:

• Do you feel comfortable being yourself around your partner?
• If you are upset about something, do you feel safe sharing this with your partner?
• Can you enjoy your hobbies and separate friendships while still maintaining your relationship?
• Does your partner make you feel good about yourself most of the time?
• Are you confident that they will listen if you share your feelings with your partner?
• Is your significant other willing to compromise with you to ensure that both of you are happy?
• Do you feel that your needs are met within your relationship?
• Can you and your partner discuss areas of disagreement without yelling or name-calling? 

25 couple therapy worksheets and activities 

So, what relationship worksheets or activities are used in couples therapy? The ones below are common. 

1. Extended cuddle time

Physical touch can be critical for helping couples to connect. 

A couples therapist may recommend that you and your partner spend extra time cuddling whenever you can fit it into your day. This might mean first thing in the morning or while you’re on the couch watching TV at night. 

Maggie further shares,

We know that cuddling and having physical touch produces oxytocin, the love hormone.

2. Using the miracle question 

With this couple therapy activity, the therapist asks the couple, “If you woke up tomorrow and solved all your problems, what would be different?” This gives the couple an idea of important issues they’d like to work on and what they want to see change. 

3. Weekly meetings

One of the top activities for couples therapy is scheduling a weekly meeting between partners. 

Your therapist may ask you and your spouse or significant other to sit down at a specified time each week and discuss the “state of the union.” 

You will talk about how each of you is feeling, if there is any unfinished business you need to address, and what each of you needs from the other in the coming week. 

4. The five things exercise

During therapy sessions or in daily life, your couples therapist may suggest you engage in the “five things” exercise. When you do this couples therapy worksheet, you’ll tell your partner five things you like about them or five things you’re grateful they’ve done for you lately. 

5. Naikan reflection

The Naikan reflection is one of the top couples therapy worksheets. This worksheet is completed individually and asks you to answer questions such as, “What have I received out of this relationship this week?” 

The point of the Naikan exercise is for you to reflect upon the relationship and develop gratitude for your partner. 

6. The game of truth

Designed to help you and your partner connect and learn more about each other, the game of truth is typically a deck of cards that includes personal questions such as, “What is your biggest fear?” or, “What is your favorite childhood memory?” 

Exploring the answers to certain questions together can strengthen your bond, making this one of the top bonding exercises for couples. 

7. Sharing songs

Bonding over music is a favorite couples therapy activity. 

You might be asked to share your favorite songs with your partner, including what they mean to you, why you like them, and what feelings you have in response to them. This allows you to learn more about each other. 

8. The four horsemen worksheet

The “four horsemen” are concepts from Gottman’s couples therapy. These are four behaviors, including criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness, that Gottman says are damaging to relationships. 

Worksheets for couples may use concepts from the four horsemen. They provide examples of the four horsemen in action and ask you to think about better ways to communicate with your partner .

Learn more about Gottman’s four horsemen here:

9. Relationship journaling

We’ve all probably kept some sort of journal, but the relationship journal is slightly different. 

As you might guess, with relationship journaling, you and your partner will write about your thoughts, feelings, and wishes related to the relationship. You might journal about things going well, what you’d like to see in the future, or perhaps your reactions to a disagreement. 

During therapy sessions, you can share your journals in the presence of your therapist to begin working through issues.

10. Strengths exercises

A marriage counseling worksheet may ask you to think about strengths to remember the good parts of the relationship and build upon what is going well. These worksheets may ask, “What are three strengths your partner would say you bring to the relationship?” 

11. Soul gazing

It may sound silly, but soul gazing can help you to connect with your partner, and it’s one of the recommended bonding activities for couples . 

You must get close to your partner and spend about five minutes maintaining eye contact. Some people prefer to listen to calming music while they do this exercise. 

12. Uninterrupted listening

Your therapist may use this couples therapy exercise during sessions. Each partner will take a turn speaking for three to five minutes, while the other has to listen without interrupting. This allows both of you to feel heard. 

13. Soft startups worksheets

One of the top worksheets for couples communication worksheets is the soft startups’ worksheet. This worksheet is based upon principles from Gottman’s couples counseling. 

Using these worksheets can teach you to communicate more respectfully and lovingly during times of conflict rather than being harsh or confrontational when approaching your partner. 

14. Love map exercise

Another helpful couples therapy activity is the love maps exercise, which also comes from Gottman. 

A “love map” is simply your understanding of your partner’s world and who they are. 

You can complete a love map by answering questions about your partner, such as who their best friend is, what their biggest fear is, and how they most enjoy spending their free time. You can review your answers with your partner to give you an idea of how accurate you were.

15. Goals worksheets

Another one of the couples therapy worksheets that you may use is a goals worksheet. These worksheets allow you and your significant other to set goals together, improving your bond, as you’ll be working toward the same things and creating a shared life.

16. Assertive communication worksheets

Communication worksheets for couples may teach assertive communication skills. 

Learning these skills helps you communicate more clearly with your partner and increases your confidence, so you are not communicating passively or without having your needs met within the relationship.

17. Love LanguageⓇ quizzes

Theoretically, we each have our Love LanguageⓇ , which describes how we like to be loved. Some of us like to receive gifts; others enjoy physical touch, whereas others may prefer quality time together. 

When you and your partner take a Love LanguageⓇ quiz, you’ll be better able to meet each other’s needs because you’ll know how each other prefers to be loved.

18. Boundaries worksheets

Couples therapy activities may teach you how to set boundaries. You and your partner may work through a boundaries worksheet to strengthen your ability to set healthy boundaries. 

Even marriages and long-term romantic relationships require boundaries so that each of you still retains your own identities, interests, and friendships. 

19. Conflict resolution activities

Your couples therapist may give you a worksheet or activity that reveals your typical conflict resolution style. 

If you are engaging in unhealthy conflict management styles, such as name-calling, withdrawing, or deflecting blame, these activities can identify these problems and provide a starting point for intervention. 

20. Conversation starters couples therapy worksheets

Your couples therapist may give you a conversation starters worksheet to take home. This worksheet will give examples of questions you can ask to start a conversation during weekly check-ins. These worksheets may also be used during therapy sessions to spark conversation about potential issues to be addressed. 

Worksheet questions might include topics such as, “Who do we know that can serve as a role model for conflict resolution in relationships?”

21. Rules for fair fighting worksheets

It is not unusual for couples counselors and therapists to give clients worksheets to take home. These worksheets can be used for additional learning, or they can be displayed as reminders. 

One example of a couples therapy worksheet is the fair fighting worksheet. You might hang this in the office or on the refrigerator for reminders of what healthy arguments look like. These worksheets may include advice such as, “Don’t be defensive,” or “No name-calling.” 

22. Learning to turn toward your partner

Relationships are better when we respond to our partner’s requests for affection. 

Couples therapy activities may include demonstrations of what it looks like when your partner tries to connect with you and request affection. 

When you complete these activities in therapy, you’re better prepared to respond positively and turn toward your partner rather than turning away when they ask for affection or connection. 

23. Active listening worksheets

One of the more common communication worksheets for couples is the active listening worksheet. These worksheets teach you how to listen to and hear your partner, which improves your communication. You’ll learn skills such as summarizing your partner’s words and being attentive and supportive when talking.

24. Repair checklists

An important couples therapy activity is learning to de-escalate and manage conflict without damaging the relationship. 

Repair checklists are introduced in couple therapy to teach people healthy ways of managing disagreements. These checklists include appropriate conflict management responses, such as apologizing, negotiating, or acknowledging the other person’s viewpoint. 

25. The “my partner’s qualities worksheet”

A therapist may assign this couples therapy worksheet as homework and ask the two of you to bring back your worksheets to share at the next session. 

This worksheet asks you to list your favorite memories with your significant other, things that attracted you to them at the beginning of the relationship , and reasons you value them. 

Couple therapy questions 

Couples therapy worksheets and activities can be fun and interesting, but remember that during the initial stages of couples therapy , your therapist will need to assess you, your partner, and the relationship to determine your needs and goals before jumping into therapeutic activities. 

Your couples therapist may ask some of the following questions to get to know the two of you:

• How long have the two of you been in a relationship?
• What brought you to couples counseling?
• What other things have you tried to help improve the relationship?
• What do you expect from couples therapy?
• What is the biggest problem in your relationship right now?
• What is going well in the relationship?
• How did the two of you meet and fall in love ? 
• Do you feel loved?
• What do you usually fight about?

Conclusion 

The couple therapy techniques and activities discussed here are just a few available options. If you work with a couples therapist or counselor, they will help you determine the best approach and bonding exercises for couples to meet your specific needs. 

If you’re having conflict with your spouse or significant other and cannot seem to resolve it, or you’d simply like to improve your intimacy and communication, it may be time to reach out to a couples therapist. They can help you begin working toward your goals for the relationship.

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Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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26 Must-Try Couples Therapy Exercises And Activities

Discover the best couples therapy exercises and activities in this article. It is written for therapists and counselors but will also benefit couples who want to improve their relationship with some tools they can even use at home.

The powerful exercises will help to improve communication and listening skills while also helping to develop and (re)build trust.

The exercises include the know-how from different treatment approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy ( CBT ), Positive Psychology, and Mindfulness-based interventions. All these different approaches work wonderfully together and complement each other.

We included exercises for trust-building, deepening the connection, resolving roadblocks, promoting awareness, and improving communication. Some of them can be used during therapy sessions while others work great as homework in couples therapy.

26 Couples Therapy Exercises and Activities

1.) the icebreaker.

Icebreakers can be a great opportunity to te an interesting conversation going and to learn something new about each other. It’s a great exercise for the early stage of any couples therapy or relationship coaching.

Some icebreaker questions are:

• What is a funny story you’ve never told me about?
• What is a childhood or your anecdote you could tell me?
• What did you want to become when you were a child?
• What is an embarrassing moment of your life you’d like to share with me?

Powerful Couples Therapy Exercises For Trust

2.) let’s be honest.

The rules of this exercise are easy. Both partners should answer each other’s questions honestly. This will enhance the connection between each other. You can vary between general and easy to answer questions and end up with philosophical and thought-provoking questions:

• What is your favorite memory of dating me?
• What is your favorite thing that I do for you?
• What’s something you’re glad you’ll never have to do again?
• Which memory comes up when you think about your childhood?
• If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first?
• What is one behavior that you never tolerate?
• If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
• What about me made you fall in love?

3.) Try the Trust Fall

The trust fall is an exercise in which one person stands straight, closes their eyes, and lets him- or herself fall without trying to stop it, relying on the partner to catch them. As the name says it’s a trust-building exercise that needs some courage at first.

4.) Share your favorite songs

Each partner is asked to share three of their favorite songs. They should also try to explain the meaning of the songs. Listen to the songs together.

• What does it remind you about?
• Which feelings come up while listening?
• In which mood are you usually listening to it?

Music is very personal and this exercise is a great way to open up and connect with the partner and also express some vulnerability with each other. Maybe the couple even has „their“ song. In this case, both can describe the feelings and emotions that come up while listening.

5.)  What do you know about me?

Make a small challenge and find out what the couple knows about each other. After answering one question it’s the other partner’s turn. Some example questions:

• What is the one thing that makes me feel alive?
• What makes me smile?
• What scares me?
• How would my dream holiday look like?

Click the image to read more

6.)  The favorite book exercise

Ask the couple to swap their favorite books. They should tell each other what they like about this book in particular. How did it influence their life?

Reading the partner’s favorite book can be an opportunity to get a look into the partner’s mind and understand each other better. Discussing the book and the impact it has on one is a great way to deepen the connection of the couple. This is a great homework exercise. Discuss the results together in the next session.

Best Homework For Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling

7.)  the relationship assessment.

The Relationship Assessment is a couples therapy exercise for the early stage. Each partner is asked to answer some basic questions about the relationship. It’s a questionnaire that helps explore the challenges and problems.

It gives you some fundamental background information about the couple. You’ll find out how long the clients know each other, get information about previous relationships or marriages. You’ll also get information about children, the family background, and also stress-factors that may have caused the relationship problem.

This questionnaire should be part of the inventory of any couples therapist or consultant. You can create your own or get the one that’s included here in the couples therapy toolkit.

8.)  Identify Relationship Problems

This is another great exercise for the early stage of any relationship coaching or couples therapy. The exercise allows you to identify specific areas to work on with the couple. It’s a set of questions that each partner should answer individually.

You will find out that each partner might identify different problems in their relationship. It’s a homework assignment before or after the first session.

Note the major problems each partner identifies in this questionnaire and specify with them what needs changing.

Possible areas of relationship problems are: Financial, Child-rearing, Communication, Decision-making, Jobs, Controlling each other…

The full exercise is included here

9.) Identify Relationship Goals

Couples therapy is not only about problems, but also about goals. It’s important to find common goals within a relationship. Something both partners are ready to work for. Keep in mind that a goal should always be SMART.

SMART goal means:

• Specific (Is your goal too generic? Specify it!
• Measurable (How can we measure the outcome?)
• Attainable (Is our goal attainable?)
• Realistic (Is our goal realistic?)
• Time-Bound (We want to achieve our goal until…)

The goals or priorities can be different for everyone. Help your clients create and shape a vision for their ideal relationship. The Toolkit includes a ready-to-use worksheet for your sessions. Ask clients to create their goals separately and then try to find a common goal together in one of the first sessions.

10.) The Problem-Solving Blueprint

After the relationship problems have been identified it’s time to solve them one by one. The first step is to connect the individual problem with real-life situations. This will increase the understanding of the origin and the problem itself. Once this is done it’s time to attack the problem and find strategic ways to solve it.

This exercise prompts the couple to come up with creative solutions. The problem-solving blueprint is best used after the exercise where your clients identified the biggest problems that need solving.

It’s also a great tool that comes in handy whenever new problems come up during the coaching/therapy. Assign the tool to each client individually and discuss their answers together.

Each partner defines the problem, describes it in a real-life situation, and is prompted to come up with a creative solution to that problem. The results can be discussed together with the partner and the therapist. The full exercise is included here .

11.) The Pre-Session Check-In – Prepare for each Couples Therapy Session

This is a vital exercise for any marriage or couples therapy. Each partner should sit down individually the day before a session. They should write down what went well since the last session, which change they saw, and what they want to talk about in the next session. It’s a quick progress report that allows each therapist to make their session preparation a matter of a few minutes.

The clients get prompted to focus on the upcoming session to get the most out of it. CleverMemo allows you to assign these kinds of exercises and questionnaires with two single clicks s an action item. You pick a due date, an optional reminder and clients can fill everything out in the stream they share with their therapist.

12.) Therapy Session Gold Nuggets Exercise

This is the perfect addition to the pre-session check-in exercise. Prompt your clients to write down their key insights of each session and share them with you. This should be done individually.

The notes are super helpful as clients reflect on their session while memory is still fresh. They become aware of what they’ve learned, and you get invaluable insights and feedback about what was most valuable to them. Assign this exercise as an action item within CleverMemo. This allows clients to share their answers right in their private stream. Over time you both have a running record about the entire couple therapy with each partner.

• Possible questions are:
• What did you learn in this session?
• The most valuable insight was…
• What do you want to accomplish until our next session?

The complete exercise is part of the Couples Therapy Toolkit

13.) The Relationship Journal

Keeping a regular relationship journal (daily/weekly) is the perfect exercise to get to know the different perspectives of each partner.

It takes two for a successful relationship. If both parties start journaling about their thoughts, feelings, experiences, mistakes, successes, and wishes, a lot of invaluable insights will be uncovered.

It’s also a great way to call out and keep track of things and habits they don’t like about each other.

The therapist could discuss the journal entries individually with each partner and afterward try to solve and work on them together.

The CleverMemo automation allows you to assign the journal entry as a homework item. Just define how often (e.g. weekly) an entry should be done and the system will send reminders and nudge your clients not to forget their daily or weekly entry.

Rereading past entries is a great way to reflect and uncover recurring patterns, habits, and thoughts. Two journaling templates are included here .

14.) Don’t Overlook Your Qualities And Strengths! – Couples Therapy Exercise

Too often we focus on the bad things and what doesn’t work. This exercise prompts each partner to take a closer look at the strengths. Both their own and their strengths as a couple – as a team Awareness and understanding one’s strengths can be a huge confidence booster.

The couple should make this exercise individually. Sometimes we are sure that we possess certain strengths but our partner may not notice them or take them for granted. It’s also possible that something we consider our strong side (e.g. “I’m a very organized person”) is seen completely different by our partner without us even knowing it (e.g. He/She is a control freak“).

Two great questions to start are:

• Which three big strengths do I think my partner would say I possess?
• What are the strengths we should develop together as a couple?
• The complete exercise is part of the Couples Therapy Toolkit.

15.) The CleverMemo PIT-STOP (R) – Quickly de-escalate any argument with your partner

Even the best couples fight sometimes — that’s just what happens when two people who care about each other spend a lot of time together. But unfortunately, in some cases, arguments can escalate quickly, turning a little disagreement into a big issue.

The CleverMemo PIT-Stop exercise will help your clients to de-escalate any argument or upcoming fight. It’s a simple technique that helps them to step back and become aware of the situation and their feelings. Once the emotions cooled down it’s time to address the topic calmly.

Each time an argument comes up the couple should say some keyword like Pause, Stop, or PIT-Stop and then leave the situation. Each partner takes a seat and writes down their thoughts and feelings. You’ll find the entire exercise including all the questions for clients here .

Effective Couples Therapy Exercises For Communication

Communication and the ability to listen to each other are vital skills for any relationship to be successful. There are several exercises to assess communication issues:

16.) Let’s Improve our Communication

Good communication is an essential part of a healthy relationship. Every relationship has its ups and downs, we all have bad days, but a healthy way of communicating with our partner makes it easier to deal with conflicts and building a stronger relationship.

We cannot read our partner’s mind. That’s why is crucial to tell our significant other how we are feeling, what we want and need and what we are feeling.

Every person has different communication ways and needs of communication. That’s why it’s so important that the couple becomes aware of their current communication patterns. How would they rate their current communication? Are they able to talk about everything with their partner?

This is the first step to improve communication. The whole worksheet is part of the Couples Therapy Toolkit.

17.) The Miracle Question

The miracle question is a great thought experiment in coaching and counseling. The question has its origin in the solution-focused therapy and its name is credited to Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg. The focus is on the future, on the goal the client wants to achieve.

This question helps our couple to become aware of their own dreams and desires and learn about their partner’s dreams and desires. It can be very helpful in understanding what both they and their significant other needs to be happy with the relationship.

Ask them to answer the following miracle question:

Imagine while sleeping tonight a miracle occurred: All your current problems disappeared. What would you notice that would tell you life suddenly gotten better? How would life look like?

Tip: Couples Therapy Questions

The miracle question is just one example that shows how great the impact of the right questions can be in couples therapy. Questions can be a great resource for any couples therapist, and relationship counselor, or coach. We created a collection that will help to identify problematic areas within the relationship.

But even when you’re not a therapist, you can use some of them as an icebreaker exercise to get communication with your spouse going. Check out the list of couples therapy questions for your next session here.

18.) Listening Without Interruption

This famous couples therapy exercise focuses on both verbal and nonverbal communication.

Set a timer for 3 minutes. One partner has the chance to speak about whatever they are thinking or feeling without being interrupted. The other partner is not allowed to say anything but could use nonverbal methods to show empathy and understanding.

After three minutes both can discuss their experience, feelings, and observations. Then it’s time to switch roles so that each partner can improve their listening skills.

19.) Repeat it – Exercise

This is a variation of the „Listening without interruption“ exercise.

One is asked to tell a short story (3-5 minutes) while the partner is just listening. Once the story is over the partner is asked to reflect on what they just heard. It’s great training to enhance listening skills.

Some additional Homework Exercises For Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling

20.) send me a letter.

Both partners are asked to write a letter to each other. In this letter, they can express their frustration, feelings, or desires. For many people, it’s easier to express their emotions and feelings in written form instead of telling it to another person’s face. Each partner is then asked to write a response to their partner’s letter.

Ask your clients to share their letters with you in their CleverMemo stream. You’ll gain invaluable insights that will be useful for the upcoming therapy sessions. Discuss the letters together with them.

21.) Becoming the Best Partner I can be

This exercise will help each partner to find out what they can do to improve their relationship skills and do their part in becoming the best partner they can be.

First, we must recognize our responsibility and not get caught up blaming it all on our partner, even when it appears our partner is the one with the problem.

Let’s take a look at ourselves and what we can do to become the best partner we can be. You’ll find the exercise here.

22.) Get Your Needs Met In Your Relationship

A happy relationship thrives on our understanding of our partner’s needs. Recognizing and communicating our own needs is also very important. If both partners don’t care about or ignore each other’s needs, the relationship will fail sooner or later.

The relationship will only have a future if the mutual and individual needs of both partners are met. Common needs in a relationship are the feeling of security, appreciation, shared experiences of love, tenderness, and affection.

Each partner should ask themselves „What do I need?“ and „What does my partner need?“ and both partners should make it a habit to clearly communicate their needs. It needs some training in the beginning but it can become a routine after some time. The worksheet is part of the Couples Therapy Toolkit.

23.) Explore New Things Together

Prompt the couple to find something new they could learn or try together. This could be a skill, a hobby, or an adventure. It’s ideal if both have never done it before so that they share the experience of trying it the first time together. This could be some sport or going to dance class for example.

24.) Let’s Review Our Life Together

This is a great homework exercise for couples. Prompt them to have a glass of wine or cup of tea and review their life together. They could take a look at their first pictures as a couple and discuss all the things they’ve experienced together throughout their relationship. They can also think of things they still would like to do together. You can discuss the results in the next session.

25.)  The Gratitude List

A great couples therapy exercise is the Gratitude List or even a journal. It helps each partner to restructure how they think about their partner and to become aware of all the small positive details that made them once fall in love with each other.

Ask each partner to write down at least five things they appreciate/are grateful for about their partner. This could be followed by three things they could do to make their partner feel more loved and appreciated in the relationship. If the couple is ready for it you could take this exercise a step further and let them keep a daily gratitude journal over 2-4 weeks.

This will help them to focus on the good in their relationship and become aware of the daily little positive things they notice about their partner. A template for this journal is included here.

26.)  The Weekly Relationship Check-In

This couples therapy exercise is valuable for every relationship. It improves the communication between the partners and allows each of them to have their speak. Ask the couple to schedule 30-60 minutes per week where they talk about their latest experiences, their wishes, what they want and need from each other, and how they could improve their relationship.

There are not a lot of rules. But the listening partner agrees not to interrupt and take things personally. Both should take this time as a chance to talk honestly to each other without the fear of being judged or that the partner might overreact.

Ask your clients to share the experiences and key insights of this exercise in their CleverMemo stream with you.

Wrapping Up Couples Therapy Exercises And Activities

These were 25 must-try couples therapy and counseling exercises you can use with your clients. Practicing communication, trust, and increasing empathy and awareness for each other are undoubtedly helpful for any relationship or marriage.

If you’re looking to support your couples therapy sessions with a professional software tool you can start a free CleverMemo trial here. And if you want to improve your couples therapy with some ready-to-use worksheets and questionnaires this Toolkit is for you: Check it out

Click the image to find out more

Benefits and effects of Couples therapy

Research shows that couples therapy and counseling can significantly improve the relationship’s quality and the partners’ well-being (Snyder et al., 2015).

Over the last ten years, studies have been made on how couples therapy benefits partners . Research shows that 70% of couples treated benefit from therapy. Couples therapy works just as well as individual therapy. Integrative behavioral and emotion-focused therapies for couples are particularly promising.

Examples of when couples therapy or marriage counseling makes sense:

Analyzing communication patterns:.

Couples therapy helps couples to recognize their communication patterns and find constructive ways to interact with each other. This has been confirmed to improve the quality of the relationship.

Understanding roles and dynamics:

Through a systemic perspective, therapists and couples can better understand and change the roles and relationship-specific dynamics in their relationship.

Promote solution-oriented approaches:

Systemic couples therapists help couples use solution-focused approaches to manage conflict and bring about positive change.

Additonal Sources and Resources:

• The premarital communication roots of marital distress and divorce : the first five years of marriage – Markman et al. 2010
• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – Gottman, Silver 1999
• Integrative behavioral couple therapy: An acceptance-based, promising new treatment for couple discord. – Jacobson et al. 2000
• Clinical handbook of couple therapy, 5th ed . – Gurman 2015
• Maintenance of Relationship and Individual Functioning Gains Following Online Relationship Programs for Low‐Income Couples – Roddy et al. 2020

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Couples Therapy: Homework Exercises For Communication And Bonding

A common part of couples therapy for many is partaking in exercises outside of sessions, which are often known as “homework” exercises. Below, we’ve compiled some easy and helpful homework exercises that might aid you in your journey to strengthen your relationship, including gratitude lists, relationship check-ins, journaling, and more. These homework exercises can be tailored to specific romantic relationship goals, so feel free to get creative with how you use them. It can also be a good idea to complete these exercises under the guidance of a licensed mental health professional, which you can do in person or online.

Improve communication and strengthen your bond

Couples therapy is not just for couples experiencing challenges; anyone can benefit from improving relationship skills, bettering communication, and strengthening their bond with their partner. Researchers have looked into the impact of communication on relationships and found evidence that the better a couple communicates with each other, the more long-lasting and fulfilling their relationship is likely to be. 

What to expect in couples therapy

Couples therapy can go beyond the therapist’s office. Professional relationship therapists often recommend homework to their clients, such as the exercises included in this list. Relationship counseling is often the most effective when both members of the couple are willing to put in the work, both inside and outside of the therapist’s office. 

When you first attend couples therapy, the therapist will likely get to know you as a couple and then may want to talk to you individually. After determining your goals as a couple and as individuals, the therapist can support you in reaching those goals with evidence-based therapeutic interventions and relationship-building exercises. 

Depending on the therapist’s approach to counseling, they may use a variety of techniques, such as behavioral experiments, cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, psychotherapy, and homework. 

Best couples therapy homework exercises

Below are a few of the best couples therapy homework exercises recommended by couples therapists. You can use these couples therapy homework exercises at home with your partner, but they may be more impactful when combined with talk therapy from a licensed professional. A therapist can guide you through couples therapy exercises with tips for how to get the most out of the experience. 

Letter writing

If you go to couples counseling, you might practice letter writing as a homework assignment. Writing a letter to your partner can have many benefits, such as making it easier to express things that are hard to say out loud. By writing the letter, you may also discover underlying feelings, beliefs, or thoughts that can shift your perspective on a particular issue or subject. 

A great writing prompt for couples therapy that you can try at home is writing a letter to your partner describing all their best qualities and what you love about them. Then, you can have them write the same letter from their perspective, describing what they love about you and your relationship. This couples therapy exercise can help you better understand your partner’s views and recognize their best qualities. 

Gratitude lists

Making gratitude lists can be an ongoing homework exercise for couples to reflect on the positive things in their relationship and better appreciate each other. A gratitude list normally involves writing everything you are grateful for, or, in this case, what you are grateful for in your relationship. This exercise can be all about recognizing what the other person does that makes you happy and showing appreciation for them. 

For two weeks or more, write down a few things that made you happy or went well that day. When you look back on your list of positive moments, it may reveal patterns in the relationship. Talking with your partner about the list and noticing the patterns together can help you determine what is working in your relationship and how you can create joyful memories together. 

Studies show that displaying gratitude can have powerful benefits for mental health and well-being, such as reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression. Giving thanks has been found to make people happier overall, including in their relationships. 

One study on the benefits of gratitude for couples found that mutually expressing gratitude not only tended to make couples feel happier, but also made it easier to express what they wanted to change in their relationships. Positive encouragement from being shown gratitude could also help couples engage in more relationship “maintenance,” such as spending time together, checking in with each other, and being more responsive to each other’s needs. 

Scrapbooking memories

A fun and romantic couples therapy activity to try is making a scrapbook out of your memories together. Instead of a scrapbook, you could create a picture book with handmade drawings, collages, or online cut-outs. This can be an opportunity to assemble a cohesive memory book for you to reflect on your relationship together. 

If you have mementos, like romantic letters from the beginning of the relationship, or sentimental items, such as your first concert tickets together, you can put them in your memory book. You can also print out photos from your favorite memories together. Create the narrative of your love story in your scrapbook, then label the images with context about the memories and how you each feel about them. 

Icebreakers 

When you are first getting started with couples therapy, doing some fun and easy exercises like asking each other “icebreaker” questions may be beneficial. You may be surprised to find that there are things you do not know about your partner, even if you have been in a long-term relationship. These icebreaker questions are generally meant to be light-hearted and get couples comfortable before they delve into more challenging communication exercises. 

• What is your favorite childhood memory?
• Is there a funny story from your past you can share with me? 
• Would you ever want to be famous?
• What is your favorite love song?
• Do you know any random or useless facts?
• What was the first album or CD you purchased?
• If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
• If you were a candy, what kind would you be?
• What is your favorite thing to do when you are home alone?

Relationship journaling

Studies have shown that journaling can be a beneficial therapeutic device for tapping into your inner feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. Journaling together as a couple can be a homework exercise that bonds you closer through shared communication. You may choose to journal weekly or daily. 

For journaling to be most effective in a therapy setting, the couple should be honest with themselves and their partners about their feelings. Recording your feelings, thoughts, experiences, and goals in a journal can help you better understand what is going on in your partner’s inner world. Reflecting on journal entries can make patterns in the relationship more transparent, showing you what is working versus what you may need to adjust. 

The journal can be used to reflect on positive memories together and as a safe way to express frustrations about the relationship or things that you wish were different. The journal entries can also be reviewed with your therapist during couples therapy sessions later on, helping you create a plan for how to best support each other in reaching your relationship goals. 

Relationship check-in

Around once a week, try to set aside 30 minutes to an hour to discuss your relationship and check in with each other about your feelings. You may also want to record your check-ins in your relationship journal or with couples therapy worksheets so you can reflect on them later. There are couples therapy toolkits that you can download for free online, or your therapist may provide resources. 

Checking in with each other can be an important step in maintaining healthy relationships, ensuring that you are both on the same page communication-wise and not letting anything slip through the cracks.

Benefits of online therapy

These homework exercises for building bonds and improving communication may be the most impactful when combined with guidance from a licensed therapist. You can find highly qualified couples therapists online with therapy platforms like BetterHelp. Couples with busy schedules or travel limitations may have an easier time accessing online couples therapy than traditional therapy at an office. 

Effectiveness of online therapy

One 2022 study examined the effectiveness of online and in-person couples therapy and found that internet-based therapeutic interventions could be just as effective as traditional sessions. However, online sessions typically offered the benefit of being more accessible and appealing to couples who may not otherwise attend. The data collected by the researchers in this study showed overwhelmingly positive results for the majority of participants. 

• Navigating Sympathy Vs. Empathy In Interactions Medically reviewed by Andrea Brant , LMHC
• De-Escalation Techniques To Defuse Conflicts in Relationships Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson , MA
• Relationships and Relations
• Current Events

• Psychology & Counseling Tools

5 Couples Therapy Worksheets & Exercises (+ PDF)

Couples therapy is an effective way to strengthen the bond between partners, improve communication, and work through issues that may be causing relationship distress.

While traditional talk therapy is an important part of the therapy process, couples therapy worksheets can also be a valuable tool for couples to deepen their understanding of one another and work through specific problems in a more structured way.

How to Use Worksheets in Couples Therapy

Worksheets can be a powerful tool for couples in therapy or intimacy coaching to engage with each other and work through specific issues in a structured and collaborative way. To effectively use worksheets in couples therapy, it’s important to choose the right type of worksheet that aligns with the needs and goals of the couple.

Some worksheets may be geared towards improving communication, while others may be focused on identifying patterns of behavior or exploring individual needs and values.

It’s important to introduce the worksheet in a clear and concise manner, giving the couple adequate time to understand the purpose and process before beginning.

Once the worksheet has been completed, couples can discuss their answers together, and the therapist can facilitate a deeper understanding of the issues at hand, and help the couple create actionable steps for moving forward.

By incorporating couples therapy worksheets into your practice, you can provide your clients with a practical and effective tool to deepen their understanding of each other and enhance the overall effectiveness of therapy.

Example Worksheets for Couples Therapy

Couples therapy worksheets can provide couples with a range of therapeutic approaches to work on specific issues and improve their relationship.

These worksheets can cover a broad range of topics, from improving communication and problem-solving skills to identifying and addressing underlying patterns of behavior. They are designed to facilitate self-reflection, open dialogue, and joint exploration of the challenges couples face.

By using the right therapy tools , couples can identify and work through their individual needs and values, build trust and connection, and establish effective ways of dealing with conflict.

In this blog, we will explore some of the most commonly used couples therapy worksheets, including communication exercises, and emotion regulation activities, to help you provide more effective and targeted support to the couples in your practice.

1. The Positive Aspects of Your Relationships

In couples therapy, it’s important to focus not only on the challenges and issues within a relationship but also on the positive aspects.

Paying attention to the strengths and positive qualities of the relationship can help build resilience, increase satisfaction, and foster a deeper sense of connection between partners.

Here are some ways to cultivate a positive focus in couples therapy [1] :

• Encourage couples to reflect on and appreciate positive moments in their relationship, both past and present.
• Encourage them to share positive feedback, express gratitude for each other, and use positive language to frame things in a positive light.
• Suggest activities that create positive experiences and memories together.
• Help the couple identify and emphasize their individual and shared strengths to strengthen the relationship.

By focusing on the positive aspects of their relationship, couples can create a more supportive and nurturing environment, which can help them navigate through the challenges and issues that inevitably arise in any relationship.

Shown below is an example of how your clients can reflect on the positive aspects of their relationship using Quenza’s Positive Aspects of Your Relationships worksheet.

You can access the complete PDF as a customizable Quenza Expansion with your $1 Quenza trial , making it an easy exercise to share with your clients.

2. Gratitude in Romantic Relationships

In couples therapy, fostering gratitude in romantic relationships can be done by [2] :

• Encouraging partners to express gratitude towards each other regularly, by acknowledging and thanking each other for the things they do.
• Helping partners to focus on positive aspects of the relationship and to appreciate the good qualities in each other.
• Practicing mindfulness and being present in the moment, allowing partners to better recognize and appreciate the positive aspects of their relationship.
• Suggesting exercises that help partners to cultivate gratitude, such as keeping a gratitude journal or creating a daily gratitude ritual together.
• Highlighting the benefits of gratitude, such as increased feelings of closeness and connection between partners, and improved overall relationship satisfaction.

Below is an example of how Quenza’s Gratitude in Romantic Relationships worksheet can be used by your clients to foster more gratitude in their romantic relationships.

This therapy exercise   involves three steps:

• First, the clients choose three positive character traits from a given list.
• Following this, they share their respective lists with each other.
• Finally, they engage in a joint reflection and discussion to share their feelings and insights gained from the exercise about each other.

Applying Emotionally Focused Therapy: EFT Exercises To Use

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples involves various exercises that help partners understand and express their emotions and needs, and improve their emotional bond.

Some common exercises used in EFT include [3] :

• Emotion exploration: Encourage partners to express their emotions and attachment needs, such as feeling safe, secure, and valued.
• Reflective listening: One partner shares their thoughts and feelings, while the other listens actively and reflects back what they heard.
• Create connection rituals: Schedule dedicated moments focused on bonding to deepen your connection.
• Re-enactment: Identify negative patterns and work to change them into positive interactions.
• Emotion-focused touch: Experience and express emotions through physical touch, such as hugging.
• Emotion-focused letters: Write letters to express attachment needs and emotional experiences.

3. Knowing Your Emotions

By utilizing Quenza’s Knowing Your Emotions worksheet, clients can proactively delve into their emotions by improving their recognition skills and developing effective strategies for managing them.

For instance, this therapy activity can help clients to identify and overcome emotional obstacles, allowing them to express and understand their emotions with their partner.

Recommended:  Training Others in Emotional Intelligence: Your Ultimate Guide

How To Practice CBT in Couples Therapy (+Printable PDF)

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be used in couples therapy to help couples identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that are impacting their relationship.

Some common exercises used in CBT for couples include [4] :

• Thought challenging: partners challenge negative and irrational thoughts causing relationship distress.
• Communication skills training: couples learn active listening, assertiveness, and expressing needs and feelings.
• Problem-solving training: couples learn conflict management and issue resolution techniques.
• Behavior modification: partners modify negative behaviors and promote intimacy.
• Mindfulness and relaxation techniques: partners learn stress and emotion management techniques such as deep breathing and muscle relaxation.
• Exposure therapy: partners gradually overcome fears and avoidant behaviors.
• Role-playing: couples practice communication and problem-solving skills for positive interactions.

4. Changing Unhelpful Thoughts

Quenza’s Changing Unhelpful Thoughts worksheet, shown below, is a useful tool for clients who are struggling with thoughts that may be negatively impacting their relationships.

This particular CBT worksheet guides clients through a process of exploring how their thoughts make them feel, examining the evidence both for and against those thoughts, and developing alternative, more helpful thoughts.

Clients can download a PDF copy of their worksheet for their records when you send it through the Quenza client app. If you use cognitive-behavioral therapy interventions frequently in your work, check out our guide on how to provide online CBT .

How to Improve Communication In Relationships

Here are some exercises that couples can do to improve their communication in therapy [5] :

• Active Listening: One partner speaks while the other fully listens to understand their perspective.
• Reflective Communication: Each partner shares thoughts and feelings on a topic while the other reflects back without judgment.
• “I” Statements: Partners express their feelings and needs using “I” statements instead of blaming language.
• Reframing: Looking at a situation or conflict from a different perspective.
• Emotional Check-In: Each partner reflects and expresses emotions while the other provides support.
• Love Maps: Couples create a map of each other’s lives, likes, dislikes, history, and current events to deepen understanding and connection.

5. Apologizing Effectively

Quenza’s Apologizing Effectively worksheet teaches clients a valuable aspect of effective communication: the ability to offer a sincere apology.

By following the guidance in this worksheet, clients can learn how to express remorse in a manner that promotes greater intimacy and mutual understanding in their relationships.

Do these exercises inspire you? With the Quenza App, you can customize these Expansions or generate and share your own therapy worksheets with easy drag-and-drop tools.

We have provided several effective ways to incorporate them into programs and treatment plans . In addition, we have included helpful tips and tricks to assist you in automating the process.

Check out our free 30-page guide that provides you with valuable insights into building, customizing, and sharing your own worksheets and tools, as well as creating comprehensive treatment plans and easily tracking and evaluating client progress.

Click here to download your copy of Coach, This Changes Everything.

Enhancing Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is the foundation of a strong relationship. Couples can strengthen this bond by engaging in regular, meaningful conversations that go beyond daily logistics. Setting aside time each week for a ‘relationship check-in’ can help partners discuss their feelings, appreciate each other, and address any issues in a supportive environment. This practice fosters a deeper connection and understanding.

In addition to conversations, sharing experiences and hobbies can significantly enhance emotional intimacy. Engaging in activities that both partners enjoy, such as cooking together, hiking, or even taking a dance class, can create shared memories and a sense of togetherness. These activities provide opportunities to connect on an emotional level and strengthen the bond.

Another effective method is practicing empathy and active listening. When partners truly listen to each other’s concerns and emotions without judgment, it builds trust and respect. This involves not just hearing the words, but understanding the emotions behind them, validating each other’s feelings, and responding with empathy and support.

Regular expressions of gratitude can also play a vital role in enhancing emotional intimacy. Simple acts of appreciation and verbal affirmations can make a significant difference in how connected partners feel. Acknowledging each other’s efforts and expressing gratitude can create a positive atmosphere and reinforce the emotional bond.

Building a Resilient Relationship

Building a resilient relationship involves developing skills to navigate challenges together effectively. One crucial aspect is open and honest communication. Couples should strive to communicate openly about their needs, desires, and concerns. This transparency helps in preventing misunderstandings and resolving conflicts amicably.

Conflict resolution skills are essential for resilience. Couples can benefit from learning and practicing techniques such as staying calm during disagreements, using ‘I’ statements to express feelings, and focusing on the issue at hand rather than resorting to personal attacks. These skills can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and understanding.

Another important factor is setting and respecting boundaries. Healthy boundaries ensure that both partners feel secure and respected in the relationship. Discussing and agreeing on boundaries regarding personal space, social interactions, and financial matters can prevent potential conflicts and enhance mutual respect.

Lastly, fostering a sense of teamwork and partnership can strengthen the relationship’s resilience. Approaching challenges as a team rather than as individuals helps in creating a supportive environment. Celebrating successes together and supporting each other through difficult times reinforces the partnership and builds a resilient foundation for the relationship.

Final Thoughts

By integrating these couples therapy worksheets into your sessions, you can utilize effective tools and exercises that promote positive change and enhance relationships.

These worksheets and exercises can help build your couples therapy toolkit, so feel free to share your experiences with them in the comment section below. Don’t forget to give all these worksheets a try with our $1, 30-day Quenza trial !

Frequently Asked Questions

Couples therapy often involves techniques such as active listening, role-playing, and problem-solving to help couples improve their communication and work through conflicts. Therapists may also use specific approaches, such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), depending on the needs of the couple.

While it’s recommended to seek the help of a trained therapist, couples can also practice DIY couples therapy by setting aside dedicated time to communicate, listening actively, practicing empathy, and avoiding criticism. There are also online resources and apps, such as Quenza, that can provide couples with customized tools and worksheets to facilitate the therapy process.

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as what may work best for one couple may not be as effective for another. However, research has shown that approaches such as EFT and CBT are among the most effective in helping couples improve their relationships and overall satisfaction.

Questions asked in couples therapy may vary depending on the goals of the therapy and the approach used by the therapist. Some common questions may include: – What are your relationship goals? – What are your individual needs and desires? – What are the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship? – How can you communicate more effectively with your partner? – What changes can you make to improve your relationship?

• ^ Gordon, A. M., Impett, E. A., Oveis, C., & Keltner, D. (2010). Positive communication in couples relationships: The role of gratitude and perceived partner responsiveness. Personal Relationships, 17 (2), 267-284.
• ^ Algoe, S. B., Fredrickson, B. L., & Gable, S. L. (2013). The social functions of the emotion of gratitude via expression. Emotion, 13 (4), 605–609.
• ^ Guerrero, L. K., & Floyd, K. (2006). The Power of Touch: The Effect of Nonsexual Touch on Relational Satisfaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23 (2), 340-354.
• ^ Johnson, S. M., Makinen, J. A., & Millikin, J. W. (2001). Evidence-based couples therapy: Current status and future directions. Journal of Family Therapy, 23 (3), 283-316.
• ^ Cordova, J. V., & Doss, B. D. (2014). Improving couples' relationships: Strategies for enhancing effectiveness and meaning. Current Opinion in Psychology, 4 , 76-81.

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The Counseling Palette

Mental health activities to help you and your clients thrive.

• Jul 20, 2022
• 11 min read

31 Fun Couples Therapy Exercises for Bonding and Communication

Updated: Apr 21

From couples journaling to therapy games to conversation starters, this list will keep couples busy with each other for months to come.

Couples therapy exercises , both in counseling sessions and at home, can be a great way to connect. You can work on communication skills, have fun together, and learn more about each other.

The activities can be enjoyable, such as playing therapeutic games , or informative, like talking about shared couple goals. Couples can try these activities on their own, during therapy sessions, or complete the exercises as counseling homework.

Here’s a look at several evidence-based couples therapy activities . They range from the light-hearted and entertaining, to more serious discussion prompts. Article highlights are at the top of the list, in case you’d like to skip ahead.

Article Highlights

Couple’s Pursuit Game Download

Traditional Tabletop Games

Conversation Starters

Workshops Online

Journaling for Couples

Couples Vision Boarding

Art and Crafts for Couples

Therapy Session Activities

Couples Games

Let’s start with games! There are a handful of therapeutic games that have been created with couples in mind. Traditional competitive and cooperative games can also help you bond and relax (or get excited if that sounds better).

In fact, researchers have actually found that the love and bonding hormone, oxytocin, increases when couples play games together (Melton, et al., 2019).

What a fun way to “work” on your relationship, right? Here are some ideas to get you or your clients on their way.

Couples Pursuit

Couple’s Pursuit is a fun, printable therapy game with multiple conversation prompts and activities. Think of it as a Trivial Pursuit-inspired game for couples, crossed with Pictionary, Taboo, and 20 questions.

The goal is to beat the game as a couple, completing brief relationship-building tasks and filling up the wedges of your wheels before the “third wheel” sabotages you.

The game is consistent with evidence-based couple’s counseling and coaching. It focuses on connection, showing appreciation of each other, having fun, building a future together, and more. It also includes fun-focused activities that keep the game moving and lighten the mood, like drawing and guessing categories.

Here’s a look at each of the categories included:

Drawing and guessing. This category is based on prompts like, “A favorite gift you’ve given or gotten from me.” You have one minute to draw and see if your partner can guess what it is.

Open discussion topics and conversation starters. Example prompts: “If we could change one part of our lives to make us happier, what would it be?”

Expressing appreciation. Prompts in this category encourage you to say nice things to your partner. For example, it may say, “Tell your partner about something they’ve done for you this week that made you feel better.”

Sharing key memories. The memory category often evokes some of the deepest conversations. Prompts often bring up new topics for couples, such as “Describe a time you lied as a kid and never got caught.” Even if you can’t think of an exact example, it’s sure to bring up some interesting things to talk about!

Giving clues and guessing. This category has you listing ideas before the game, and then seeing if your partner can guess them (similar to Taboo). For example, it might include, “Something my partner wishes I would do more of.” You have to try to get your partner to guess your answer only using clues. This category tends to either be funny, or bring up things you wouldn’t think of sharing otherwise.

Physical affection and intimacy. This category is a little more direct, with prompts like, “Hold your partner’s hand and caress their arm.” You can skip this category if you like, or choose a different affectionate activity. This can be good for couples who have trouble being intimate, or may need a jump start lately.

You can learn more and download the activity here - since you can get it immediately, you could play it tonight if your significant other is game!

Cooperative Tabletop Games

Did you know there are many games where you play against a villain or challenge, instead of your partner? What a metaphor for a relationship! These cooperative activities are about competing together against the game.

Traditional cooperative games aren’t necessarily created to be relationship-building , however many couples find them more fun than competitive games. (Or at least a way to play together without arguing!)

They are consistent with the camaraderie and team-building elements encouraged in couples therapy. Here are some popular options.

Pandemic - Work together to save the world

Unlock - An escape-room type game that you can play with your partner at home

Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective - Solve the mystery as a couple

Competitive Tabletop Games

Some partners enjoy competitive games more than the cooperative options. If it helps you bond and you don’t end up resentful of each other at the end, then go for it! Here are a few games great for two, along with their competitiveness level.

Fluxx - Multiple theme versions (hello sci-fi fans) that are excitable and highly competitive

Carcassonne - A technically competitive but low-key game for a relaxing evening

Ticket to Ride - A middle-of-the-road board game that offers a bit of competitiveness and distraction (although you can help each other if you like)

Couples Journaling

Couples journaling is also becoming a more popular activity. There are variations and you can make the activity your own. You can keep separate journals that you use to help you communicate, or a joint one that can be its own communication tool. Here are some ideas for how to use a shared journal:

Write in the journal together, following a joint prompt. For example, you might answer: “What do we imagine we’ll be like 10 years from now?” You can take turns writing or appoint one of you to be the scribe.

Write in one journal, but separately. For example, you might keep it in one spot and write down thoughts or ideas and then review them later together. Or you can write to different prompts each week (like in the first example) but do it separately and then read them later.

Use a joint journal to communicate difficult thoughts. Do you or your partner have trouble explaining your feelings or responses? You can also use a shared journal to express yourself, and your partner can read it privately. They can respond in the journal, or you can discuss it together later.

Use a joint journal to express gratitude, appreciation, or shared goals with each other. You can do this either at the same time, or separately as in the examples above.

Make up your own journal activities, and create a ritual around it. Perhaps you review the journal every Sunday, or write in it together once per week. The whole idea is to connect, communicate, and understand each other better.

Use an electronic journal if that works better. If you can’t get down with the written journal, there are multiple electronic options available. The simplest is to use a shared Google Doc and start each new entry with a date at the top of the page (to avoid scrolling). You can even download our couples journal as a Google Doc, or a printable PDF if you prefer.

Couples Vision Board

One of the most rewarding and fun activities I’ve done with my partner was a couples vision board . It’s the same as a traditional vision board, but includes either one board you’ve designed together, or a side for each of you. You can also have an overlapping area in the middle with couple goals.

Vision boards are just like those collages you made with magazines as a kid, but a bit more intentional. Here are some suggestions for creating a couples vision board:

Use a bulletin board. These can be easily changed and updated over time, and you don’t need to worry about making mistakes or changing your mind.

Find old magazines, stickers, couples memorabilia (like ticket stubs or photos) and choose intuitively. Especially at first, don’t think too much about it. Make a pile of pictures or cutouts you might use and choose from them later.

Write your own words. Sometimes you can find the exact phrase or word you need from an old magazine page. But if you don’t, no worries. Just write your own words on a scrap of paper and pin them where you like.

Make another electronic vision board. I recommend also making a physical bulletin vision board, but an electronic board is cool too. Consider doing that later and making it a consolidated version of the larger one. I like an app called simply Vision Board, available in app stores.

Have separate and together sections . What a metaphor for life! A healthy relationship includes your time, their time, and together time. Your vision board can show these three areas of your relationship and encourage you to focus on each.

For a little help, try our vision board set, available within the Couples Activity Kit. It includes cute printable robot couples stickers, along with inspirational quotes to include on your vision board. Check it out here.

Conversation Starters for Couples

Discussion prompts are a popular tool among many couples and therapists. It’s a great way to get to know each other early in a relationship. And it’s a great way to keep connected or get to know each other again over the years.

Here’s a look at some popular, as well as lesser-known, conversation tools for you and your partner.

Gottman Card Decks

Have you heard of the Gottman Method? If not, it’s time to check it out! It’s an evidence-based treatment based on years or research on how couples actually interact and live together. They’ve br

anched out to offer more resources, including coaching, for couples, families, and even single

One of their best resources are the Gottman Card Decks. They offer multiple versions including 52 Questions Before Marriage or Moving in , and the Love Map & Open Ended Card Decks . If you’re feeling excited (or not excited enough) you can also try out their sexy Salsa Card Deck .

If you’d like to check out the cards right away, you can also access digital versions online via the Gottman Card Deck app on Apple or Google Play.

Tabletopics for Couples

Tabletopics: Couples is popular and fun set of cards that will certainly get you talking. They’re a fun set of cards that go beyond the typical questions and will have you thinking and laughing. The game has multiple versions including an original and updated decks.

Gottman Workshops

Feeling more ambitious? The Gottman Institute also offers online workshops, both live and recorded, with more detailed activities. They review foundational skills relating to communication, expressing fondness, and changing toxic patterns. You can check out their options here.

Couples Crafts

Remember how games can give you a hit of the bonding hormone? It’s the same for other activities like making art together.

I like to use the word “crafts” sometimes rather than art, because it takes off the pressure. Art seems like something to aspire to, while crafting is about the process. The vision boarding idea above could be considered a type of art, as could cooking or even journaling (especially if you add a visual aspect).

Crafting could literally be making one item together (can you say diorama?) or each completing your separate projects at the same time. Ready for more ideas? Here we go:

Try adult coloring. You can find inspirational coloring sheets online or in bookstores. Or, you can look for nostalgic coloring books like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Strawberry Shortcake. They’re for kids of all ages!

Take an art and wine class. Have you ever been to one of those events where they walk you through how to paint a really serene picture? They’re pretty fun, and you often come out with a finished project you’re pretty proud of. Many art studios offer these for groups or as a date night. Check them out in your area!

Make a joint sand tray. Does your therapist have a sand tray in their office? Or are you a therapist, wondering how to use your sand tray with adults? It can be a therapeutic and fun couples activity. Start with a prompt, like “What is it like when we feel close to each other?” or “How do we each feel when we’re fighting?” Let the miniatures do the talking.

Go on a photo safari. Have you ever taken photos for an artistic or therapeutic purpose? Selfies and family pictures are awesome, but adventure images are for a different purpose. Recreate your first date and take images like you’re making a magazine spread. Each create an image that shows how you feel about the other. Better yet, use a tripod to create your own couples photo shoot, showing your separate and combined personalities.

Calming Rituals

Rituals, or activities you do regularly or in the same circumstance, are a great way to decrease stress. They can help in the good times and bad. For example, some couples have a nightly ritual in bed where they talk about their day and catch up with each other.

It’s great to watch a movie or have dinner together, but a check-in session allows you to go a little deeper, expressing yourself and showing empathy for your partner. This is a good practice activity for therapy sessions.

Rituals can also be used during difficult moments. If you have frequent arguments, or occasional big ones, rituals can make a big difference. They might involve taking an hour or so apart after a fight to cool down, or watching your favorite sitcom together until you feel clear-headed enough to talk.

Here are some ideas for calming rituals:

Dinner at your favorite restaurant once a month, or when it’s time to celebrate. Celebratable events differ for each couple – maybe it’s for when one of you gets a raise at work, or completes a personal project that’s important to them. Celebrate each other’s successes.

Weekly movie nights. Make watching a movie together an event. Make popcorn or get out healthy snacks. If it’s affordable, head to the theater, or mix it up and go out to the movies one week a month.

Regular family game nights. Game nights can be for the two of you, or for the whole family if you have kids or others in your home. Just make sure you’re also getting one-on-one time if you have a shared household!

Daily, or at least weekly, check-ins. Talk about how you’re feeling, how work or other activities are going, things that you’ve enjoyed lately, etc.

Saying thank-you, sorry, and “I appreciate that.” When people are together for a long time, they sometimes stop treating the other one like a person. When your partner helps with something, even if it’s an everyday chore, that’s something to recognize. Otherwise, people can start to develop resentment or apathy. Being nice will also remind your partner to provide the same for you!

Caring for animals and pets. Caring for pets together can be a great way to bond as well as relax your nervous system. Sometimes therapists even combine pet therapy with family and couple's sessions! You can also look into adopting, fostering animals temporarily, or volunteering at a local shelter. Often they're looking for people to walk dogs and assess their social skills. Sounds like a fun date!

In-Session Couple’s Therapy Activities

Are you a couples therapist or relationship coach? Choosing activities based on your clients’ goals is an important part of your job. That might involve assigning homework or helping couples communicate during sessions.

Many of the activities above will work with some modifications. For example, discussion prompts can be pulled from games or card decks, or can provide you with inspiration. Here are some other activities that may work, depending on your modality and goals:

Practicing soothing rituals in session. You might have your couples practice mindfulness together, or role-play how they might discuss their day and validate one another.

Discuss attachment styles. I’m amazed at how many of my individual clients have been to couples counseling but haven’t heard of attachment styles! If you’re not familiar, I recommend the book “Attached” to get you started. Attachment is a key element in therapies like emotionally focused couples therapy for couples (EFT).

Model empathy and validation. Many people are unaware of when they are being invalidating to their significant other. Listening and practice is the key. You may start by literally role playing, showing what it’s like to validate versus not validate. Once that clicks for partners it can be a game-changer.

Provide (and learn) evidence-based therapies. It may sound like a no-brainer, but if you work with couples it may be a necessity to complete training in the top couples therapies, like The Gottman Method or EFT. At least completing the introductory courses can give you an idea of what couples need the most, since relationships go beyond basic communication.

Try Something New

Is this list enough to get you started? I hope so! Each couple is different, so the best activities for you will depend on your individual personalities, and the areas where you mesh well together. Don’t be afraid to try new things that you wouldn’t normally do. Either you can commiserate on how horrible the experience was, or be surprised and have a new couples activity to add to your arsenal!

Want a fun and meaningful activity you can try or share right away? Check out this couples relationship game and other activities you can download and play today.

Lauer & Lauer, 2002, The Play Solution: How to Put the Fun and Excitement Back Into Your Relationship

Melton, et al., 2019, Examining Couple Recreation and Oxytocin via the Ecology of Family Experiences Framework.

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The Importance of Homework in Couples Therapy

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The importance of homework in couples therapy

You’re not the only ones who struggle to do homework in couples therapy.

Part of the point of asking you to do homework is to help you learn to change routines and behaviors on your own .

My husband and I have been doing these homework exercises for years. They work really well to help us keep our relationship strong, and we still have lapses where we can’t find the time to do them.

The outcomes of doing homework

Over the years, the couples in my practice who’ve actually done homework exercises have reported communicating better, being more affectionate and sexual as well as being more supportive of each other than couples who haven’t. Doing communication homework tasks has led to more careful listening to each other in general. Doing physical affection and sexuality exercises has led to more spontaneous gestures of affection and a more satisfying sex life . And changes in behavior and interactions that couples have made on their own at home have increased their sense of competence, self-esteem, and positive feelings about each other and the relationship.

In fact, the implementation of homework is the single variable that underpins successful treatment in couples therapy.

Lack of time

Most couples say the trouble doing the homework is because of time pressure. But underneath the “we don’t have time” excuse are more difficult matters.

By the time you arrive in my office, you’ve developed deeply ingrained habits and patterns of interaction which I call “ the dance you do together “. This dance allows you to live and function together while holding feelings of ambivalence, hurt, distrust, and often anger with each other. You’ve already made countless efforts to improve your relationship on your own, so most of you feel that you’ve been there, done that—and have failed repeatedly. You’ve probably tried everything you can think of on your own, or have received help from therapists who aren’t well-trained in couples work .

I see difficulties in doing homework as an opportunity for us to explore your feelings safely, normalize difficulties with change, and help you choose homework that you can and want to do. Exploring problems with doing homework also allows me to help each of you take responsibility for your own behavior , rather than blaming each other.

I’m fully committed to encouraging you to prioritize doing homework as the core of our couples work. To make sure I’m successful in motivating you, I use the Six P’s.

The 6 P’s of homework

1. preparation.

Starting with our first phone call, I explain how the work you do between sessions is the key to successful couples therapy. I expect that you will be working hard to build your competence and confidence in your relationship through the assignments at home. I explicitly say that homework is the foundation of my couples therapy, and if that idea doesn’t appeal to you, I’m happy to recommend other therapists you could work with.

2. Planning

I don’t simply give homework assignments: I also want you to come up with your own homework or choose from a menu of possibilities. No matter what you decide, it’s critical that the choice be collaborative . With homework, one size definitely doesn’t fit all, and the more that you collaborate in choosing and designing your homework, the more you’ll feel ownership and investment in its success.

I ask you to place the same priority on doing homework that you place on showing up for your appointments with me. Even small assignments, like a communication exercise that only takes 15 minutes per week, can be hard to follow through with. So it’s essential for each of you to make a commitment to prioritize the effort. Having each you take responsibility for your own actions is at the core of almost all successful couples therapy.

3. Practicing

For homework to succeed, it’s critical for you to practice in the room with me so you can experience how to do a task via coaching from me.

When working with intimacy and sexuality issues, for example, I help you practice an exercise called “Hand Massage.” You take turns giving each other a light hand massage while I encourage you to internally experience all your feelings. This helps you learn to touch each other lovingly while acknowledging that you have a lot of mixed feelings. You can experience the power of touch while also allowing yourselves to have difficult, uncomfortable feelings. Of course, one or both of you may feel unready to do this, but that allows me to address the importance of being able to say “no” and to adjust the pace of our work.

4. Processing

We always start the next session by deciding and discussing what aspects of the homework worked and what didn’t. Having each of you be accountable for your own actions around homework breaks patterns, reveals problems, and short-circuits the blame game. If one of you is compliant and the other isn’t, I can bring curiosity—not judgment or blame—to the feelings blocking you from fully participating. Often this allows the therapy to go deeper into the underlying pain and vulnerability that lies beneath the surface.

If you report that you did the homework but didn’t like it or it didn’t help, that’s always a welcome opportunity to explore with greater depth what you believe would help that you’d be ready to try. Creating successful homework is a collaborative creation by you as a couple and me, so we all work as a team.

I’m as persistent as a dog with a bone when helping you do homework. I ask you to write down the homework task, or I send you an email restating it. Please email if you have questions about the homework. With couples who really struggle to follow through with homework, sometimes I’ll even offer an incentive and/or a “penalty” to get you started 🙂 I might also recommend that you take a break from treatment until you’re able to do the agreed-upon homework.

6. Perpetuating

Over the years, my husband and I have been practicing many of the homework assignments I routinely give you. But do we always practice what I preach about making them our first priority? No. We often lapse and disregard our relationship practices, even though we know they’re highly effective. So we often have to rededicate ourselves to the work. Commitment is a day by day process.

The simple truth is that with all self-discipline practices , like meditation and physical exercise, homework practices are difficult to sustain. So, toward the end of successful therapy, when you‘re doing well with your homework, we space out sessions progressively, with the understanding that you’ll need to keep up your homework between our sessions. We prepare for the possibility that you’ll lapse and discuss how you’ll get back on track. Accept that your relationship will always take maintenance, just like a garden. On finishing work, I will help you co-create a relapse prevention plan so you have a map of the most important exercises to do regularly which help maintain your connection.

People often have a hard time with the core truth of what it takes to be a successful couple: work that never ends .

It’s not always about the therapeutic breakthroughs, the dramatic insights, the tenderness of amends and forgiveness. Just like cultivating a successful garden, you can’t enjoy the fruits of your couples work without putting in the effort of weeding, watering and fertilising the soil, day in and day out, decade after decade. Rather than brush this truth aside, I can help you accept and practice this, with the aim of continuously nourishing your relationship long after therapy ends .

Adapted by Vivian Baruch from  David Treadway PhD

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Maintain Long Lasting Love with a Relationship Workbook (70 exercises for couples)

February 10, 2024 March 6, 2023 | Laura Silverstein

Are you looking for a printable Gottman relationship workbook to strengthen your relationship? Deepen the connection with your partner with over 70 exercises to do with your partner. This relationship workbook offers exercises and guidance for building a strong and lasting bond with your loved one. Whether you’re newly together or have been in a long-term relationship, this workbook can help you maintain a healthy and fulfilling partnership.

Love Is an Action Verb: Couples Therapy Workbook

A certified Gottman Method couples therapist developed this workbook with over 30 years of experience helping couples learn how to feel closer, communicate better, and have more fun. The worksheets and handouts are science-backed and tested in private couples therapy sessions.

What Is the Relationship Workbook All About and How Can It Bring Long Lasting Love?

Who doesn’t want long lasting love?

Yet the costs of couples therapy with a seasoned relationship expert are skyrocketing to the point where it is often inaccessible.

Relational psychologists have spent decades researching what leads to long lasting love and what leads to separation and divorce. We know what works and what doesn’t. We know how to coach you to make slight changes in your language, habits, and ever-day routines.

Much of what happens in private therapy is inappropriate to attempt in a DIY workbook. Challenges such as abuse, addiction, and betrayal are best treated by a licensed mental health professional who completes a full assessment before offering recommendations.

But a lot of the information usually hidden behind the confidential doors of couples therapy offices is solid, common sense, practical advice that can be applied to 99% of relationships. Marriage therapists repeat themselves session after session, sharing the same tools and strategies with every single couple who walks through their doors. So many of the challenges are exactly the same (though most people think they are alone, and that their problems are unique).

The Couples Therapy Workbook is designed to help couples build and maintain a strong, healthy, and fulfilling bond. It offers interactive exercises, conversation starters, and guidance from a certified couples therapist. In less than one hour a day, you can deepen your connection with your partner, enhance communication skills, resolve conflicts effectively, and foster intimacy. You’ll find practical tips and tools you can use to nurture your relationship over time and create lasting love. Whether you’re just getting started or have been together for years, this workbook can help you take your relationship to the next level.

It might even feel like you have a Gottman couples therapist in your backpack.

What Communication Exercises Does it Include?

The workbook includes handouts and worksheets that you can complete together in the comfort of your own home. You have the benefit of participating in a DIY couples therapy workshop with a relationship expert without the high cost, risk of seeing people you recognize, or extensive time commitment and scheduling challenges. If you are a busy couple, and your relationship is important to you, but you feel it may require a tune-up, this Couples Therapy Workbook, based on the research of John Gottman, Sue Johnson, and Tara Brach might be just what you need right now.

It is designed to be fun and positive so you can enjoy long lasting love. Create your own couples retreat in your backyard (or even bring it along to your favorite vacation spot). Each chapter starts with a self-reflection quiz. You will complete your quizzes separately and then share your answers. This creates some structure to ensure you’re not letting your relationship slip to the back burner (but also not reading some heady book together that is wonderful in theory but does nothing to help you in the real world).

You can see the “look inside” feature to see what’s in the couples communication workbook HERE.

Here is what you’ll get:

• Self-Reflection True or False and Multiple Choice Quizzes
• Couples Therapy Worksheets
• Communication Ground Rules Handouts
• Conversation Starters to Use with Your Partner
• Science-Backed Relationship Advice from a Gottman Method Couples Therapist
• Examples of Conflict Resolution Strategies That Work
• Mistakes Couples Make in Communication and How to Avoid Them
• Motivation to Carve Out Time to Have Meaningful Conversations with Your Partner

How Printable Gottman Method Worksheets Can Help Strengthen Your Relationship

The Gottman Method is a popular therapeutic approach to relationship counseling that emphasizes building strong emotional bonds between partners. If you want to strengthen your relationship, a Couples Therapy Workbook with printable Gottman Method worksheets can be a helpful tool for improving communication, trust, and intimacy with your partner. These conflict resolution worksheets offer structured activities and exercises designed to promote healthy communication and build a deeper connection with your loved one.

If you’d like to create your own DIY Gottman couples therapy retreat, read this article for step-by-step instructions: The Ultimate Guide to Creating a Successful Couple Retreat Using the Gottman Method.

Additional Resources: Books, conflict assessment tools, relationship personality quizzes, and therapy options to further enhance your use of Gottman Method worksheets.

While printable Gottman Method worksheets can be a great tool for building long lasting love, additional resources are also available to enhance your use of this approach.

If you want to learn more about your Gottman conflict resolution style, he divides the styles into three functional conflict management styles (Validating, Avoiding and Volatile), and two dysfunctional conflict management styles (Hostile and Hostile Detached). Here is a quiz to learn your preferred conflict management style. Take these communication assessments by clicking the purple boxes below:

John and Julie Gottman has written several books on relationships that provide more in-depth information and guidance for couples who want to build stronger bonds, including The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 8 Dates, and What Makes Love Last, which can all be purchased on Amazon.

Additionally, if you need a more intensive level of support, licensed therapists trained in the Gottman Method can help guide you through the process and provide personalized guidance to address specific challenges in your relationship. Dr. Michael Silverstein offers two day intensive Gottman Method Couples Therapy sessions in Bryn Maw, PA. You can learn more HERE .

Laura Silverstein, LCSW

Laura Silverstein is a Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, and author of Love Is An Action Verb .  She has thirty years of clinical experience and is the founder and co-owner of Main Line Counseling Partners , based in Bryn Mawr, PA. Laura is a frequent contributor to The Gottman Relationship Blog and has appeared as a relationship expert in media outlets such as the New York Times, ABC, and Today. She helps couples find more happiness as a research clinician, speaker, trainer, and writer with a positive, action-oriented style.

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Looking for traditional couples therapy?

If you live in the state of Pennsylvania and are looking for assessment and psychotherapy, please visit Main Line Counseling Partners for more information.

If you live outside of Pennsylvania and are looking for Gottman Method Couples Therapy, you can enter your zip code and find a provider near you at https://gottmanreferralnetwork.com/

If you believe you are in imminent crisis or experiencing a mental health-related emergency, please call 911 immediately or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. If you believe you are in an abusive relationship, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: https://www.thehotline.org/

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Couples Therapy Homework Planner (Wiley Practice Planners) 2nd Edition

• 71 ready-to-copy exercises covering the most common issues encountered by couples in therapy, such as financial conflict, infidelity, work/home role strain, and separation and divorce
• A quick-reference format―the interactive assignments are grouped by behavioral problems including improving communications, handling parenting problems, and resolving sexual issues
• Expert guidance on how and when to make the most efficient use of the exercises
• Assignments are cross-referenced to The Couples Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, Second Edition ―so you can quickly identify the right exercise for a given situation or problem
• Downloadable content that contains all the exercises in a word-processing format―allowing you to customize them to suit you and your clients' unique styles and needs

www.wiley.com/practiceplanners

• ISBN-10 1119230683
• ISBN-13 978-1119230687
• Edition 2nd
• Publisher Wiley
• Publication date November 16, 2015
• Language English
• Dimensions 8.5 x 0.6 x 10.7 inches
• Print length 256 pages
• See all details

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Editorial Reviews

From the inside flap.

• Contains 71 ready-to-copy homework assignments that can be used to facilitate therapy with couples
• Homework assignments and exercises are keyed to the behaviorally based presenting problems from The Couples Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, Second Edition
• Assignments are available online for quick customization
• A quick-reference format—the interactive assignments are grouped by behavioral problems including improving communications, handling parenting problems, and resolving sexual issues
• Assignments are cross-referenced to The Couples Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, Second Edition —so you can quickly identify the right exercise for a given situation or problem
• All exercises are available online for you to download and customize to suit you and your clients' unique styles and needs

From the Back Cover

• A quick-reference format the interactive assignments are grouped by behavioral problems including improving communications, handling parenting problems, and resolving sexual issues
• Assignments are cross-referenced to The Couples Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, Second Edition so you can quickly identify the right exercise for a given situation or problem

About the Author

BILL O'HANLON has authored or coauthored twenty-nine books and is an inspirational speaker and psychotherapist.

Product details

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Wiley; 2nd edition (November 16, 2015)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1119230683
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1119230687
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.31 pounds
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 8.5 x 0.6 x 10.7 inches
• #39 in Psychotherapy
• #320 in Medical Counseling

About the author

Gary m. schultheis.

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45+ Powerful Therapy Exercises For Clients, Couples & Groups

By identifying and sharing appropriate therapy exercises with clients, therapists help clients learn to manage existing problems and gain self-help skills for use going forward (Nelson-Jones, 2014).

In this article, we share many of our favorite free therapy exercises and suggest situations and groups where they may be best placed. Why not review them and reflect on their potential to boost engagement while supporting growth and development in individual, couple, and group settings?

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive CBT Exercises for free . These science-based exercises will provide you with detailed insight into positive Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and give you the tools to apply it in your therapy or coaching.

This Article Contains

How to use exercises in therapy, 19 popular therapy exercises to try, 14 exercises and activities for couples, 7 group therapy exercises for your sessions, 5 simple therapeutic writing exercises, resources from positivepsychology.com, a take-home message, frequently asked questions.

A vital aspect of therapy is for the counselor or therapist to “collaborate with clients to achieve change and then for clients to maintain that change” long after treatment ends (Nelson-Jones, 2014, p. 52).

Mental health practitioners must understand the skills their clients need to develop, demonstrate how they can be implemented, and engage them in performing structured activities and homework tasks.

While it is essential that the counselor form a solid therapeutic bond with their client, it is similarly crucial that they identify and share powerful therapy exercises that support them in replacing their old self-defeating ways with more helpful, better skills (Nelson-Jones, 2014).

Unsurprisingly, research recognizes a significant connection between completing therapeutic homework and treatment outcomes (Mausbach et al., 2010).

The following exercises can be empowering when working with clients experiencing anxiety.

6 Exercises for managing anxiety

While the effects of anxiety can be catastrophic and far reaching, therapeutic interventions can be highly successful in helping clients redirect their minds away from “worry and negative self-appraisals and toward greater acceptance of internal states” (Crowley et al., 2017, p. 130).

The following therapy exercises will help:

• Event Visualization Worksheet Detailed imagination of a future event or challenge offers a safe and controlled environment for reducing concern and anxiety and gaining confidence without risk of failure.
• Tackling Anxious Thoughts Clients can learn how to notice anxious and irrational thoughts and find more helpful and rational alternatives.
• Managing Panic This is a valuable worksheet for identifying triggers and sources of panic and anxiety and recognizing associated feelings and behavior.
• Anxiety Record Maintaining a record of the causes of anxiety can be enlightening and empowering.
• Best and Worst When working with children, creating a Venn diagram can be a helpful visual representation of their anxieties versus potentially positive outcomes.
• Labeling Your Emotions Giving names to feelings can help children identify and understand their anxiety without forming guilt or engaging in judgment.

6 Best exercises for depression

Depression can be helped by understanding its causes and triggers while building a resilient mindset that increases positivity, improves stress recovery, and maintains flexibility in challenging environments (Waugh & Koster, 2015).

The following worksheets are valuable tools for use when working with clients experiencing depression or at risk of future episodes:

• Recognizing Rumination Persistent negative thinking is a key risk factor for depression. This template helps identify unhelpful thoughts and how they interfere with daily living.
• Guilt and Shame Emotions That Drive Depression Feeling guilt and shame can push an individual deeper into their depression. The clients answer questions in this exercise to help identify and better understand such emotions.
• Depressive Thought Worksheet for Teens Young people can benefit from reflecting on situations causing negative thinking and changing them into more realistic thoughts.
• What Is Depression? A Fact Sheet for Teenagers This valuable and insightful fact sheet explains what depression is, its signs and symptoms, potential behavioral changes, and how to seek help.
• My Depression Story Use this worksheet with clients to create a timeline of their lives to understand the key moments that shaped their perspective.
• Unhelpful Thinking Styles Our underlying thought patterns can worsen our depression. Share this worksheet with clients to identify unhelpful thinking styles and how to reconstruct them more positively.

7 Helpful exercises for building self-esteem

While poor self-esteem may emerge early in life, it can also develop in adulthood, caused by a combination of negative self-beliefs, harsh feedback, and challenging environments (Orth & Robins, 2019).

The following helpful exercises can boost clients’ self-esteem and challenge harsh self-evaluations:

• Designing Affirmations Positively focused self-affirmations can reinforce our self-identity and outcomes related to meaningful personal values.
• The Self-Esteem Checkup This valuable tool offers clients insight into their degree of self-love, self-respect, and confidence in their capabilities.
• Understanding Self-Confidence This worksheet helps teens, adolescents, and adults familiarize themselves with the mental and bodily experiences associated with self-confidence.
• My “Love Letter” to Myself Use this worksheet with clients to help them identify their best traits, abilities, and talents and consider how they have benefited them and others in their lives.
• Things I Like About Me This worksheet helps children and teenagers see the beauty resulting from their uniqueness. Use this worksheet to encourage them to understand all they can do, how they treat others, and what they like about themselves.
• Self-Esteem Journal for Adults Journaling can promote positive self-reflection and enhance self-esteem. Ask the client to complete the questions and then reflect on their thinking patterns, feelings, and emotions.
• Track and Measure Success We are all much better at remembering what we did wrong rather than our successes. Ask clients to keep a copy of what went well and review it before future challenges.

Download 3 Free Positive CBT Exercises (PDF)

These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you or your clients with tools to find new pathways to reduce suffering and more effectively cope with life stressors.

Download 3 Free Positive CBT Tools Pack (PDF)

By filling out your name and email address below.

Inevitably, couples disagree. However, when differences become irreconcilable, couples therapy can help regain trust, rebuild communication, and strengthen relationship bonds (Greiger, 2015).

The following exercises and activities are powerful tools for use with clients to support them on their journey.

30 Questions to ask couples

• Conflict Resolutions Checklist This valuable set of 10 questions ensures both partners have taken the steps to reduce or remove conflict.
• Valuing My Partner These five questions support clients in seeing their partners in a more positive (and realistic) light.
• Relationship History and Philosophy Questionnaire These 11 questions encourage couples to rediscover their admiration and love for one another through revisiting their shared history.
• Marital Conflict Questionnaire Use this four-question sheet to recognize and understand multiple conflicts the couple is experiencing.

World’s Largest Positive Psychology Resource

The Positive Psychology Toolkit© is a groundbreaking practitioner resource containing over 500 science-based exercises , activities, interventions, questionnaires, and assessments created by experts using the latest positive psychology research.

Updated monthly. 100% Science-based.

“The best positive psychology resource out there!” — Emiliya Zhivotovskaya , Flourishing Center CEO

4 Couples exercises to build trust

• Anger Exit and Re-Entry Routines This exercise builds relationship trust by identifying when conversations become heated and when it is time to exit, cool down, or re-enter.
• Imago Workup Identifying each other’s needs, desires, and past experiences can enhance understanding, encourage vulnerability, and boost trust in any relationship.
• Things I Love These are 10 prompts to be answered by each partner to encourage more robust, fruitful connections and strengthen the couple’s bond.
• Good Qualities Ask couples to work through the four prompts and capture and share good qualities, cherished memories, what they appreciate, and how the other person shows they care.

3 Exercises couples can perform at home

• From My Way to Our Way Couples may find living together challenging. This helpful exercise encourages partners to find a middle ground between two possibly very different views of everyday activities.
• Turning You Into I Worksheet “You” statements can sound critical and judgmental. In this exercise, each partner focuses on using the “I” pronoun to express how they feel and thereby support empathy.
• 10 Tips for Coping With Your Partner’s Upset While listening to a partner’s pain is sometimes difficult, this exercise can help avoid becoming overwhelmed.

3 Exercises for long-distance relationships

• Active Listening Reflection Worksheet Being apart can significantly strain a relationship. Each partner will benefit from improving their active listening skills to boost understanding and reduce the likelihood of misinterpretation of what is being communicated on a call, video chat, or in person.
• Traps to Avoid and Tips for Success Conflicts can often be avoided — or at least managed better — by learning the mistakes we make in our communication and following these six tips for conflict resolution.
• Effective Communication Reflection Worksheet Provide clients with this helpful worksheet to encourage them to reflect on their communication and how it might be improved.

The following exercises support group-based therapy in children and adults:

• Telling an Empathy Story Telling someone else’s story can be a powerful way to understand their perspective while developing empathy. This five-step worksheet helps group members focus on feelings and what it’s like to be in someone else’s situation.
• What I See in You We rarely see ourselves as others do. In this exercise, the group takes turns offering compliments to an individual member, which they then repeat back using the pronoun “I.”
• Nudge Interventions in Groups A group environment creates a powerful opportunity to identify, explore, and discuss small changes that can have significant behavioral outcomes.
• Group Boundary-Setting Exercise This exercise provides an opportunity to practice using body language and speech to set boundaries with others in a group setting.
• Creating an Empathy Picture Helpful for multiple age groups, this exercise encourages members to reflect on and understand another person’s feelings.
• Support Group Evaluation Form It is vital to assess the appropriateness of interventions performed continuously within a group setting to ensure their suitability.
• Group Counseling Permission Form This is a helpful form for parents to give their consent for their children to attend group counseling.

“Writing about traumatic, stressful or emotional events has been found to result in improvements in both physical and psychological health.”

Baikie & Wilhelm, 2005, p. 338

Simply capturing our thoughts, emotions, and concerns regularly — perhaps daily in a journal — has been shown to boost our moods and improve our overall sense of psychological wellbeing (Baikie & Wilhelm, 2005).

The following five exercises encourage clients to self-reflect and then capture how they feel and think digitally or on paper:

• Gratitude Journal Writing down daily everything that we are grateful for and learning from the challenges we face provides a powerful exercise for boosting our focus on the good things in life.
• Who Am I? Stopping to reflect and answer questions about ourselves increases self-awareness and self-knowledge. This two-part writing activity can be used in individual and group settings.
• Self-Love Journal These 10 self-love writing prompts encourage self-inquiry while identifying ways to introduce more self-directed compassion and kindness.
• Self-Love Sentence Stems Completing these 20 self-love partial sentences can boost self-awareness and self-kindness in clients who tend toward self-criticism.
• Reverse the Rabbit Hole Capturing worries and potentially positive and negative outcomes on paper can make clients’ concerns more manageable.

17 Science-Based Ways To Apply Positive CBT

These 17 Positive CBT & Cognitive Therapy Exercises [PDF] include our top-rated, ready-made templates for helping others develop more helpful thoughts and behaviors in response to challenges, while broadening the scope of traditional CBT.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

As we have already seen, we have many resources for therapists working with individuals, couples, and groups to support multiple issues and concerns while promoting overall wellbeing.

More extensive versions of the following tools are available with a subscription to the Positive Psychology Toolkit© , but they are described briefly below.

Building the rituals of connection

Regular, relationship-focused habits can help foster more productive communicative behavior in a relationship and can offer emotional significance.

The four steps include:

• Step one – understanding various ritual types and timings, such as when parting, showing affection, and arranging date nights
• Step two – identifying specific actions for inclusion in each ritual
• Step three – planning how and when they should take place
• Step four – reflecting on the positive emotions that arose from each ritual and recognizing their importance

A strengths versus weakness focus

We often devote more time to our weaknesses than our strengths. The following two steps can be performed in a group setting to improve awareness regarding the importance of strength awareness and focus.

• Step one – Divide the group into three subgroups, as follows.

– Group 1 (weakness focus) spends time reflecting on challenging aspects of their jobs that drain their energy. – Group 2 (strength focus) discusses the highlights of their job. – Group 3 (observers) keeps an eye on the other two groups, noting their distinctions and dynamics.

• Step two – After 15 minutes, regroup. The “weakness” and “strength” groups share what they discussed first. Then, the observers point out the contrasts in energy, mood, and behavior between the two.

This exercise supports participants as they introspectively analyze their strengths and weaknesses, all while fostering group communication and collaboration.

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others through CBT, check out this collection of 17 validated positive CBT tools for practitioners. Use them to help others overcome unhelpful thoughts and feelings and develop more positive behaviors.

Therapy exercises are powerful tools for therapists and counselors working with individuals, couples, and groups. Such interventions, performed as homework between sessions, are linked to successful treatment outcomes (Mausbach et al., 2010).

The article shares many free therapy exercises and interventions grounded in research that support working with various psychological challenges, including complicated relationships, anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues.

Such therapeutic exercises have the potential to foster meaningful change in your clients, equipping them with the tools to manage immediate challenges and the skills to solve issues in the future and after therapy. In doing so, they support and encourage individuals to participate actively in their healing and growth.

Besides the free therapy exercises highlighted, we offer various resource packs available on our website that underpin successful client outcomes. As therapists and counselors, you can use these activities and exercises as they are or tailor them to your clients’ specific needs and situations, ensuring you provide the best support for a positive therapeutic outcome.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. For more information, don’t forget to download our three Positive CBT Exercises for free .

Ed: Updated November 2023

When talk therapy doesn’t meet a client’s needs, a more active approach, such as drama therapy , can be helpful. Role-play and storytelling can be powerful tools for treating young people experiencing behavioral challenges, older clients facing age-related issues, and anyone with social and emotional difficulties (Boila et al., 2020).

Typically, stabilizing mental health involves a multifaceted approach. Individuals seeking help benefit from actively engaging in therapy and creating personal treatment plans, including recognizing strengths and setting personal goals.

Counseling offers therapeutic support and learning skills to help clients form solid connections with others and adopt a positive mindset by reframing negative thoughts, practicing gratitude, and focusing on successful outcomes (Dixon et al., 2016; Jacob, 2015).

• Baikie, K., & Wilhelm, K. (2005). Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment , 11 (5), 338–346.
• Bandelow, B., & Wedekind, D. (2022). Internet psychotherapeutic interventions for anxiety disorders: A critical evaluation. BMC Psychiatry , 22 (1).
• Boila, V., Klettke, L., Quong, S., & Gerlitz, C. (2020). Raising the curtain on drama therapy: Healing benefits for youth and older adults. Behavioural Sciences Undergraduate Journal , 3 (1), 45–50.
• Crowley, M. J., Nicholls, S. S., McCarthy, D., Greatorex, K., Wu, J., & Mayes, L. C. (2017). Innovations in practice: group mindfulness for adolescent anxiety: Results of an open trial. Child and Adolescent Mental Health , 23 (2), 130–133.
• Dixon, L. B., Holoshitz, Y., & Nossel, I. (2016). Treatment engagement of individuals experiencing mental illness: review and update. World Psychiatry , 15 (1), 13–20.
• Dwyer, L. A., Hornsey, M. J., Smith, L. G. E., Oei, T. P. S., & Dingle, G. A. (2011). Participant autonomy in cognitive behavioral group therapy: An integration of self-determination and cognitive behavioral theories. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology , 30 (1), 24–46.
• Greiger, R. (2015). The couples therapy companion: A cognitive behavior workbook . Routledge.
• Jacob, K. S. (2015). Recovery model of mental illness: A complementary approach to psychiatric care. Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine , 37 (2), 117–119.
• Lenz, A. S., Hall, J., & Bailey Smith, L. (2015). Meta-analysis of group mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for decreasing symptoms of acute depression. The Journal for Specialists in Group Work , 41 (1), 44–70.
• Mausbach, B. T., Moore, R., Roesch, S., Cardenas, V., & Patterson, T. L. (2010). The relationship between homework compliance and therapy outcomes: An updated meta-analysis. Cognitive Therapy and Research , 34 (5), 429–438.
• Nelson-Jones, R. (2014). Practical counselling and helping skills . Sage.
• Orth, U., & Robins, R. W. (2019). Development of self-esteem across the lifespan. In D. P. McAdams, R. L. Shiner, & J. L. Tackett (Eds.), Handbook of personality development (pp. 328–344). Guilford Press.
• Waugh, C. E., & Koster, E. H. (2015). A resilience framework for promoting stable remission from depression. Clinical Psychology Review , 41 , 49–60.

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Effective Assignments for Couples Therapy

by adoelbs | Apr 3, 2023 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

When a couple reaches the point where they seek relationship therapy, they may experience many mixed emotions, including fear, discouragement, or hopelessness. They may believe their relationship cannot be saved and the next step is divorce.

If you see couples in your practice, you can teach your clients techniques and skills that may save their relationship – as well as improve communication, build intimacy, and strengthen their bond., while each couple is different, there are common themes you will see. these are common relationship problems and a summary of techniques that can help., communication problems. harmful communication patterns can be difficult to break and may include anything that leaves one partner feeling depressed, insecure, disrespected, neglected, or disregarded. negative communication can be heard in the tone of voice and observed in avoiding eye contact or frequently looking at phones or other devices. activities you can suggest include:, creating daily rituals. couples can have coffee together each morning before work or spend 10-15 minutes in an evening check-in to connect and share thoughts., scheduling family meetings. discuss the weekly schedule, budget, household tasks, and so on so everyone is on the same page., establishing rules of fighting. make a list of what’s off-limits during a fight, and what each partner requires from the other. help your clients develop rules to follow during conflicts., eye gazing. your clients can initiate long-held eye contact to strengthen their connection. prolonged eye contact helps them recognize emotions, build trust, and increase intimacy., mindfully engaging in deeper topics. suggest to your clients they schedule time avoiding surface-level conversations while becoming curious about each other’s interests, goals, and opinions about current events, or any other important topic., practicing reflective listening. couples take turns being active listeners, and you can teach them to practice communication skills (such as using “i” phrases instead of “you” statements) to increase trust and build conflict resolution skills., affairs and infidelity. it is possible to rebuild a relationship after a breach of trust, but it does take work and commitment from both partners. suggest the following:, a commitment to honesty and integrity, emotional presence, exploring each other’s needs, engaging in active listening, loneliness within the relationship. sometimes couples become more like roommates than intimate partners. distance occurs because life gets in the way. children, careers, and numerous other responsibilities can distract partners over time. couples can rebuild their friendship and rekindle intimacy by doing any of the following activities:, share a list. every week, couples write down three things they desire from their partner. the lists may not be something partners can do every day, but a reminder of things they can do at least once a week., connect through music. research indicates that shared music preferences create stronger bonds. clients can curate a playlist of songs that remind them of their partner., increase cuddle time. another assignment might be daily cuddle time. cuddling causes the body to release oxytocin and reduce cortisol. touch acts as a stress buffer and may help lower resting blood pressure., go on weekly dates. partners can take turns planning date nights. they should try something new, or do something they haven’t done in a while, and avoid talking about day-to-day life issues., unsolvable problems. according to dr. john gottman in his book  7 principles for making marriage work , 69% of problems in relationships are not solvable. becoming aware of the differences between solvable and unsolvable problems is key to learning how to reduce conflict in relationships. it’s not about always solving every problem; it’s how couples discuss problems and work together as a team., teach clients how to increase their awareness of the differences between solvable and unsolvable problems to reduce conflict., practice healthy and assertive communication when unsolvable problems include stepchildren, household chores, pet peeves, in-laws, and so on., unmet emotional needs. sometimes resentment, disappointment, or hurt are repressed and fester. disconnection can begin because of unmet or unexpressed emotional needs. your clients may do the following activities:, identify love languages. dr. gary chapman identified five love languages to help couples explore what makes them feel loved. this theory is based on the idea that each person has a preferred way of receiving love, including:, receiving gifts., doing acts of service., sharing words of affirmation., spending quality time together., engaging in physical touch., share this  online quiz  with your clients to discover their love language to better understand each other., journal thoughts and feelings to identify emotional needs., use daily rituals to express emotional needs and do specific actionable behaviors., mismatched parenting styles. perhaps one partner is the “bad guy” and the other is judged as too lenient. you can help the couple:, develop a plan for how they will manage certain situations with their children., create family rules and consequences and have them clearly posted so both can refer to preplanned consequences for behavior., coping with contempt. perhaps partners roll their eyes or think they are better than their partners. perhaps they don’t value each other’s opinions, or they feel like they lack support. couples can practice:, active listening., encouraging roleplay., asking questions and remaining curious., sharpening their communication skills., expressing appreciation and practicing gratitude through in-person conversations, texts, or sticky notes in places their partner will find them or taking the time to share three things they are grateful for at the end of each day., intimacy issues. lack of sex and affection can slowly erode relationships. couples can begin to focus on the basics to begin to rebuild intimacy. prompt them to answer these questions in session:, how do they say goodbye and hello to each other, do they gaze into each other’s eyes, do they have time for intimate moments such as a massage or showering together, they may also:, plan time for non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, hugging, kissing hello and goodbye, or cuddling., schedule time together. suggest couples schedule an hour together once a week to be intimate and focus on topics to improve the relationship., practice partner yoga by flowing through tandem moves and synchronizing their breathing., create a vision board as a reminder of shared desires and goals. couples can write down their goals and collect pictures that embody their relationship desires. doing an enjoyable project together can increase intimacy., engaging in the 6-second kiss to add romance throughout the day., finances. discussing money can be stressful and add to the tension between partners. suggest that partners:, be honest and transparent with each other about money and finances., develop short- and long-term goals., use budgeting software., actively and regularly participate in conversations about financial issues., if you work with couples you’ll regularly see these common relationship problems in session., to help couples build their communication skills, navigate stressful issues within the relationship, learn conflict resolution tools, enhance intimacy, and more, use these suggestions or any number of other effective techniques, between sessions therapy assignment worksheets, exercises, and activities to increase the likelihood couples will experience real, positive change., if you are a between sessions member, you can assign couples our digital card decks in the virtual counseling rooms (vcr). we offer more than 20 card decks that rework complex material into simple concepts that your clients can understand. add a card deck to a room that incorporates many clinical techniques and skills along with interesting questions, allowing couples to open up during non-threatening therapeutic activities., click here  to get your free worksheets, “what is your love language” and “using the 3-phase technique to cope with stress as a couple.”, find many more couples worksheets with a 14-day free trial where you will also have access to our virtual counseling rooms that include many techniques you can use in couples therapy..

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Couples therapists, no matter their theoretical orientations, usually expect to fortify insession treatment with out-of-session assignments. These assignments are commonly referred to as “homework” (Primakoff, Epstein, & Covi, 1986; Schultheis, O’Hanlon, & O’Hanlon, 1999). In the field of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), homework assignments have become the hallmark of treatment and are considered a critical component of change with such disorders as anxiety and depression as well as with couples and family problems (Beck, Rush, Shaw, & Emery, 1979; Dattilio & Epstein, 2003; Dattilio & Padesky, 1990). In the latest results of the Delphi Poll, which is conducted every 10 years, therapist didactic direction, such as homework assignments, was predicted to significantly increase in the next decade (Norcross, Hedges, & Prochaska, 2002).

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