supplemental essays for ucla

18 UCLA Essays That Worked (and Why) for 2023

Do you want to write strong essays that'll help get you into UCLA?

In this article, you'll read and learn from 18 essays written by students who got recently accepted into UCLA and see how they did it.

If you're trying to get into the University of California, Los Angeles, these essays are a valuable resource and give you a peek into UCLA admissions.

Whether you're a student or parent of an applicant, you'll see what to do—and what not to do—when writing your UC essays.

How important are the UCLA essays?

And as of 2022, the UC system no longer uses your SAT and ACT scores to decide whether or not to admit students.

With no more test scores, that means your UC essays are even more important for your application. Besides your grades (GPA) and coursework, your essays are the most influential factor for your UC admissions.

Plus, UCLA is the most applied to school in the world, with well over 100,000 applicants each year. The University of California-Los Angeles acceptance rate is lower each year, which makes your essays even more important.

Since your UC essays matter so much, it's important to get them right.

What are the UC Personal Insight Question Prompts for 2022-23?

It's a mistake to think of the UC Personal Insight Questions (PIQs) as typical essays you'd write for a class.

Rather, the PIQs are a set of eight open-ended questions asked by the UC app. You must choose exactly four questions to respond to, and each response should be no more than 350 words.

Let's go over the UC Personal Insight Question prompts:

• Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.
• Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.
• What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?
• Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
• Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
• Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.
• What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
• Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

It can be helpful to see how other students responded to the UC Personal Insight Questions.

And since UCLA is one of the hardest UC's to get into, along with UC Berkeley , students that get accepted tend to write outstanding essay responses to the PIQs.

18 UCLA Personal Insight Question Examples

Here are the 18 best UCLA accepted essays that worked written by accepted students for each Personal Insight Question prompt #1-8.

• UCLA Example Essay #1
• UCLA Example Essay #2
• UCLA Example Essay #3: Violin
• UCLA Example Essay #4

UCLA Example Essay #5: Team Player

• UCLA Example Essay #6: Flute
• UCLA Example Essay #7: Optimism
• UCLA Example Essay #8
• UCLA Example Essay #9
• UCLA Example Essay #10
• UCLA Example Essay #11
• UCLA Example Essay #12

UCLA Example Essay #13: Computer Science

Ucla example essay #14: korean big toes.

• UCLA Example Essay #15

UCLA Example Essay #16: LGBT

• UCLA Example Essay #17

UCLA Example Essay #18: Being Short

Ucla example essay #1: orchestra leadership.

UC PIQ #1: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words max)

In my freshman year of high school, I had enrolled in the String Orchestra Advanced Class which was mixed in with the Beginning class. I was the only person with experience, seven years in the Violin at the time, while most of the students in the class were beginners. I got class elected, then re-elected as President my Freshman and Sophomore years, and was First Violin, then First Viola Chair.

My first year consisted of myself and the instructor teaching the basics of each instrument. Learning a new instrument is frustrating, and there were times where older students in the class would get frustrated and unhappy that a Freshman knew more than they did.

As a leader I had to make sure I did not keep a separation between myself and my classmates. Therefore, my Sophomore year, I changed my instrument to the Viola.

By showing my classmates that I too was a beginner, and that I too had to learn because I had a new instrument -inspired the class to learn as well. My classmates no longer saw me as someone who told people to practice and not give up, yet did not have to practice or struggle themselves, but instead, as someone who was there practicing, and struggling along with them.

The Orchestra program at my school started my Freshman year as an experimental class, but the school ended the class after my Sophomore year. Though unfortunate, in the two years of its existence, my classmates went from being novices, to performers, where in the last year of the program, we performed many times for school events and finally in an orchestra conference in my Sophomore year, where judges praised our Orchestra's technique and cohesiveness.

After the class got cut, many of my classmates continued to pursue music independently, or in the District Orchestra. It is a wonderful feeling for me to see my former classmates -to this day- performing, and even teaching others, knowing that I was there when their journeys in music first began, and I look forward to seeing their musical pursuits in the future.

Why This Essay Works:

• Tells a Story: Gives context and explains how you got this leadership position. By explaining a backstory, it reveals your motivations and what drives you.
• Shows Takeaways and Lessons Learned: It's not enough to just talk about your achievements. Admissions officers are more interested in why they matter to you, and how you had an impact on others.

What They Might Improve:

• Fix Capitalization: It's not necessary to capitalize improper nouns like "violin", "viola", and "orchestra".
• Sentence Flow: Make sure your sentences aren't too long and don't have unnecessary breaks, which can interrupt the flow.

UCLA Example Essay #2: Volunteer Leadership

My group and I spent a total of seven hours preparing five hundred bagged lunches for the extensive homeless community at Oakland. Out of all the obstacles that could have halted our progress, rain was the last thing on our minds. We were lucky enough to distribute three hundred lunches before the rain began to relentlessly pour down on us. There were a few hours left of daylight before we would be able to eat Iftar for Ramadan, so, an overwhelming majority of our group wanted to call it a day. However, there was still a large number of unsheltered and hungry homeless people throughout the city, and I could not bear to let all that food go to waste. So, I raced to one of our nearest vans, grabbed a bullhorn, and yelled to gather the attention of as many people as possible. I instructed them to form lines in front of our eleven vans in order to take everybody to the nearest homeless shelters with the promise of food and entertainment. We went to six other heavily concentrated areas to do the same thing, and within just five hours, nearly five hundred homeless individuals were transported.

This event is one of the dozens of community service projects I’ve performed in my role as vice-president of the youth faction of the Sudanese Association of Northern California (SANC). This Oakland food drive has left me with a sense of clarity of what it takes to get a project, event, or any other endeavor accomplished. The food drive was obviously a success, but what made this particularly memorable is the email the president of SANC sent me the following day: “You have a keen ability to synthesize and communicate anything quickly and effectively.” I realized the explicit connection between my forensics (speech and debate) career and my community service: the power that I carry in my voice can motivate others to do good. I have tried to apply this insight into each new endeavor since.

• Specific with Numbers: Use exact numbers whenever you can to create authenticity and make it realistic. In this essay, saying "three hundred" lunches makes things concrete.
• Connects to Academic Interests: Show how your past leadership achievements relate to what you want to do in college.
• Stronger Conclusion: Make sure your conclusion isn't vague and has a concrete takeaway. Don't just use words like "this insight". Rather, rephrase that insight or draw a new idea from it.
• Sentence Structure: Having too long of sentences is a common mistake students make. Instead, splitting up complex sentences can make it easier to read.

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UCLA Example Essay #3: Violin Creative Side

UC PIQ #2: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words max)

I express my creative side by playing the violin and other musical instruments. Ever since I was a younger child, music had always been a part of my life. The first instrument I remember playing is the piano when I was four years old. My school had a music program, so I went and learned how to read music and play the Recorder. Though it was a simple instrument, it was to prepare us students for the more complex instruments that we could choose to play after completing the Recorder lessons.

I took this class all of first grade, and in second grade I was ready to choose the instrument I wanted to specialize in. I chose the Violin, and now -ten years later- I am still playing it. Throughout the years I have learned to play other instruments as well, such as the Piano, Trumpet, Viola, and more. During that time I have also been able to play those instruments in different styles of music.

From second to seventh grade, I played the Violin and sung in my elementary school district's Mariachi and my middle school's Mariachi even when I did not know how to speak Spanish. I have been playing the Violin at my church's choir almost every Sunday since Seventh grade. I played the Violin and Viola in my high school's Orchestra class in Freshman and Sophomore year, and since my Junior year I have played the trumpet in my school's Jazz Band and Trumpet Choir.

My siblings have also been inspired to be creative musically, and together we perform at our church and other places, and music has become an important part in their lives as well.

Throughout my life I have been able to express my love for music in many different ways. Whether through playing with a group, doing a solo in front of an audience, composing my own music, or teaching my younger siblings how to read and play music the way I was taught many years ago, music has always been a large way that I could express my creative side.

• Clearly Answers Prompt: For UC essays, being straightforward is not a bad thing. This essay starts off by clearly answering the prompt, before elaborating further.
• Fix Capitalization: It's not necessary to capitalize improper nouns like "freshman" and "sophomore". An easy fix is to only capitalize proper nouns, like names of people and places.
• Explain What's Meaningful: Admissions officers want to know more than just "what you did," but also why it was meaningful to you. Try to focus on the impact of your achievements more than just what you did.

UCLA Example Essay #4: Improvised Comedy Creative Side

I was brought into this world with an overactive imagination and an absence of siblings. My abundance of boredom and lack of playmates was solved by creating multiple characters, drawing them, and pretending to be them. When I joined theater my freshman year, I quickly fell in love because it brought me back to that childhood innocence of carelessly being someone else It was an opportunity to evaluate how I could incorporate my personality, experiences, and charisma into a character and to turn my visual concepts into a reality through doing makeup.

I was also introduced to improvised comedy. where I presented my witty and quirky side. On the other hand, working with a cast and crew was something I was unaccustomed to. but I soon saw myself becoming inspired by the surrounding creativity of others. Whether we were doing a dramatic or comedic play, we worked together to evoke an emotional response from the audience. It’s an honor to see people laugh and cry during our performances because I've connected with hundreds of people by putting my heart on a stage. In contrast, painting has been a private indulgence. Every feeling and thought trapped inside becomes free on that canvas into a beautiful visual creation. Like my mood, my paintings aren't uniform and consistent; they range from iridescent beaches to scattered splotches, yet every stroke, color. and mistake had a reason.

As my only patron, my mom couldn't always afford painting supplies, so occasionally I had to improvise with tools like spoons, paper towels, and erasers. Regardless of the tools I was using, my paintings were reflection of myself. The progression of my work is an exhibit of my struggles, success, and how I became who I am today. Painting is not about the finished product; it's about the journey and the lessons I've learned to get there. My creativity is not limited to the arts, but is embedded my appearance, mindset, and career path in solving mental health issues. Creativity, to me, is putting bits and pieces of myself into doing what I love.

• Strong First Sentence: Starting off with interesting ideas is the best way to get the reader hooked. It doesn't need to be complicated, but find your most interesting idea and start there.
• Connects Multiple Extracurriculars: Finding multiple examples in your life to explain your answer can make your essay stronger. Rather than focusing on just one activity, how do your activites relate with a common theme?
• Great Conclusion: A strong conclusion is often one that expands on your ideas or connects to something more universal. Try restating your main idea and add a twist or expand on it.
• Make Each Paragraph Distinct: Each paragraph should have one central idea or topic. It's better to split up your essay into many paragraphs because it makes it easier for the reader and better organized.

UC PIQ #3: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words max)

My greatest talent would be relating to and inspiring others. Throughout my time in school I have demonstrated that talent by becoming a leader where I was trusted by my teachers and peers. It began in 5th grade when I was voted to become Student Council for my class, where my peers knew that I related well with them and that I would do my best to use my position to fix their issues.

In middle school, I became the Knowledge Bowl team Captain. There was a new coach, so the program was small, about five students. There were many students who wanted to join the team but felt that they were not "smart enough" to join. I recognized this and encouraged those students to join and they succeeded. By the end of the year, our team was 3rd in the district overall statistically standing, our highest ranking in a while.

In high school I joined JROTC as a Freshman, and I became a Platoon Sergeant my Junior year. My job for the semester was to teach and motivate cadets in the program. Some cadets did not do well with authority, and felt attacked when other class leaders would be assertive. As a leader I took a different approach, and related to my cadets. My platoon was constantly noted as being a well-rounded platoon by our instructors, and I received the Non-Commisioned Officer Leadership Award.

In Academic League, motivation was key to our team's success. Sometimes personal problems would affect a member of the team, so I showed them I could relate to their struggles and still believe in their ability to help the team. In times when we would be losing in a match, I would inspire the team to keep pushing on, and to remain positive. That year our team placed 5th in the district -again a highest ranking in a while- and I was voted as "Most Inspirational" by the team.

Throughout the years, relating to and inspiring others has been a skill that has allowed me to make great connections with so many people.

• Uses Multiple Examples: Backing up your answer with various examples from your life makes your case stronger.
• Unique Take: Rather than thinking of a skill in the literal sense, this author uses a more abstract skill. Sharing your unique perspective is key to having interesting ideas.
• Show Why It Matters: In addition to explaining your greatest skill or talent, you should tell why it is meaningful. What are the takeaways and how will you use this skill going forward in college?

UCLA Example Essay #6: Flute Greatest Talent

Just when we think we figured things out, the universe throws us a curveball. So, we have to improvise. The universe is funny like that. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong.

When I first started playing flute, I probably looked like a pufferfish choking on a clump of wasabi, but that didn't matter. Blasting deep breaths into my flute, I blew voraciously as I tried to produce a B-flat; but all I could muster was a raspy whistle.

6 years later, I was filled with pride knowing that I had worked hard enough to be selected as the concert soloist for the Youth Orchestra of Bucks County. My moment had arrived; I stand center-stage and begin Chaminade's Concertino Op. 107. Recognizing the minor scales and arpeggios, my fingers glide through the measures with absolute certainty; and with each successive measure, my breathing, tone, and articulation seemed to increasingly synchronize. Before long, the piece came to an end. Holding the D-natural farmada as long I could, I let the note fade into submission and lowered my flute. Taking a bow, I reveled in the magnitude of my hard work.

As I grew older, it became evident that I would need orthodontics and jaw reduction surgeries. With my face full of rubber and metal, I couldn't form a tight enough valve to sustain notes. I was officially back to square one. The following months were brutal, I had to put away Tchaikovsky and go back to the basics; but my effort was genuine and I gradually regained my ability to play.

Today, I consider playing flute my greatest skill. Not because I can play complex scales or win competitions, but, instead, because through the horrors of braces, learning how to double-tongue, and impossibly fast measures, I never gave up. Playing flute had crafted in me the relentless determination which I've exhibited over the past 8 years. I may not know what curveballs life will pitch to me next, but I have confidence knowing I will persevere regardless of the circumstances.

• Strong Hook: Use your best idea at the start to immediately make the reader interested. First impressions matter, and by having a compelling first paragraph, the tone of your essay is immediately better.
• Specific in Naming Things: Say the names of groups, places, and other things whenever you can. Being specific whenever possible makes you seem more relatable and makes your essay more interesting.

UCLA Example Essay #7: Optimism Greatest Skill

Life can be an overwhelming obstacle course, but my ability to get over any bump with a smile on my face has been my greatest strength. Maintaining an optimistic outlook has introduced me to new opportunities, made me a better leader, and helped me get through everyday life. Although my determination to get back up was built by a couple scrapes and falls. I learned about the impact of a positive attitude on others through my experience on the tennis team.

The motivation and bond my team had because of the encouragement and support from our captains has influenced my approach to interacting with others. For instance, while working with my peers, I always praise them for the effort that they put in and patiently help them. When applying this to class projects and theater productions, I saw an improvement on our performance and our accomplishments felt more satisfying and meaningful. My positive attitude is also influential during my job at a convalescent home. As an activities assistant, my objective is to get residents to participate in activities and to make them fun.

At times, it’s difficult to convince residents that a macaroni necklace is worth getting out of bed for, but I am always that friendly face that cheers them on and picks them up. Knowing that my happiness is brightening someone else's day is extremely valuable and is the fuel to my enthusiasm.

Preserving my optimism is not always easy; however, my excitement for the future retains my drive to overcome any challenge. Every opportunity given to me is taken advantage of, and if something doesn't go as planned. I am confident another door will open. Even though I enjoy focusing on the bright side of life, I'm aware that some people feel like they cant overcome their challenges alone. I recognized that I can be a hand to help people up, someone to believe in them, and a friend to conquer obstacles with. Using this positive influence is the very reason why I am looking forward to a career in psychology.

• Shows Impact of Your Skill: Whenever possible, try to show how your skill/talent has impacted others. Why is your skill important? And how will you use it going forward in life?
• Uses Humor: Having small moments of natural humor, when appropriate, makes for a more enjoyable essay. Even a small remark like "it’s difficult to convince residents that a macaroni necklace is worth getting out of bed for" is powerful.
• Recognizes Challenges: Nobody is perfect, and even with your greatest skill or talent there are likely still shortcomings. Recognizing your challenges is important to humanize yourself and shows self-awareness.

UCLA Example Essay #8: Significant Educational Opportunity

UC PIQ #4: Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. (350 words max)

I was going to University of Southern California for three weeks, and that was all I could think about as the school year came to a close. After finding out that I had been accepted into the Bovard Scholars program, along with one of my best friends, I could not wait for the upcoming summer. As July 16th neared, I became more and more anxious,as I did not know what to expect, but I was looking forward to this new opportunity.

The program had just been launched this year and 49 of around 500 applicants were accepted. Over the course of three weeks, the 48 other people from all over the country would be my new friends. During my time there, I would be assigned a coach who would help with the college process, whether it be working on the college application as a group or having one-on-one sessions to work on personal statements. Outside of working on college applications and essays, we had guest speakers from admissions offices, student panels where we could ask questions, career panels, and workplace visits. We also had many presentations on financial aid, fields of major, jobs, and interviews which, most of it, I did not know beforehand.

Along with all this help, we also dormed at one of the residence halls, which allowed us to experience what college life might be like. I was amazed by the diversity of people that were attending the program, and I was shocked to find out that my roommate from New York was Egyptian. We even had Resident Assistants who planned evening activities for us to further stimulate college life. However, they were not just our Resident Assistants; as we grew closer we were able to gather information from them about college.

As the program came to its end, I did not want it to stop. I had such an incredible experience and learned so much about college. I knew that the program will never truly end, though, as our coaches will continue to work with us until Spring when we are accepted into colleges.

• Specific in Achievements: Being specific and saying "49 of around 500 applicants were accepted" creates credibility. It also helps admissions officers have context about your achievements and be able to infer how significant they really were.
• Stronger First Sentence: Try starting your essay with ideas, rather than retelling events. Starting off with interesting ideas helps hook your reader, and you can later support those ideas with your experiences and achievements.
• Focus on Meaning: Emphasize what your takeaways were from this educational opportunity or barrier. Admissions officers are looking for what you learned, how it affected others, and how you'll use those lessons moving forward.

UCLA Example Essay #9: Working at Health Clinic

I worked in a health clinic in the impoverished village of Amara in Sudan this summer, expecting to be assigned general administrative duties during my internship. However, those expectations were tossed out the window within the first week. I consider myself a pretty squeamish person, so the thought of blood oozing from any injury disgusts me in ways that I cannot describe in words. So naturally, I was shocked when I didn’t flinch or faint as I held the retractors of a ravaged knee during surgery. I can’t say that I confronted the daunting tasks I was given with complete confidence, but I learned from the experiences nonetheless. At times, I would question the challenging orders given to me by the faculty, but I later realized that it was due to the lack of qualified doctors and nurses at the village.

I observed eleven surgeries, ranging from liver disease to a gruesome foot infection. The clinic worked under severe pressure, as basic resources and equipment were scarce, which ended badly for some patients. There was one particular patient who did not survive a disastrous bus crash due to the unavailability of ambulances. He was laying on the floor in agonizing pain for a lingering six hours. As the viscous blood stained the white cloth that covered him when he was brought to the clinic, I felt a surge of sorrow, anger, and helplessness. It was difficult for me to come to grips with the reality that some things cannot be undone. The emotions I felt that day slowly faded, but never completely receded. I left this internship satisfied with the invaluable knowledge I obtained, but I still feel like I needed to do more. I live a relatively privileged life, and don’t have to spend each day worrying about a measly injury that could end my life. At the time, even though I thought I was worked too hard for a high school student, I now know I didn't do enough. I’m eager to return to the clinic soon, and have hopes of gaining more experience and knowledge.

• Emphasizes the Impact: After talking about what opportunity you had or what barrier you overcame, focusing on the impact of that experience is what matters. Describing your emotions and lessons learned makes the significance of those events more clear.
• Strong Hook: Focus on finding your best idea and using that as your first sentence. Often, starting off with a story or retelling what you did can come later and isn't as important.

UCLA Example Essay #10: Most Significant Challenge

UC PIQ #5: Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? (350 words max)

Education has always been important in my household, but never paramount. We were always taught to put familial needs first—even before our own. My parents always emphasized the lesson that selfishness leads to bitterness and loneliness. That value is why six new members were added to my family when my father’s brother died two years ago. I did what was expected and shifted my focus from school to helping my kin.

I remember feeling a mosaic of emotions—apprehension, prudence, and displacement—as I greeted them at the airport. The five-hour-long ride back home was awkward and somber, and the complete silence said so much more than words could. We were all just afraid of what the future had in store for us. My step aunt, my two older cousins and the three younger ones were all compassionate, loving people. Yet, I couldn't seem to shed this foreboding feeling the first time we all entered our house. Every passing week made our financial situation more tenuous. So, my brother and I volunteered to help our dad at his small pharmaceutical wholesale business after he laid off two employees. We worked after school three days a week and would return home around 8:30.

That year of juggling school with my new obligations at home and my father’s business was emotionally and physically wrenching. However, I don't pity myself and I wouldn't go back to change anything because I learned so much about my character in that year. I realized that my parent’s belief in selflessness had shaped me into a more capable person because I was able to sacrifice time from socializing and classes to contribute, in some way, to my family. And even though I was concerned that I would hurt my academic performance, I stuck to my promises. That inexplicable sense of uneasiness I felt at the airport was caused by anxiety in anticipating the new demands that could potentially exhaust me. Thankfully, the challenges prepared me for the academic rigor for my junior year, my senior year, and hopefully, for university.

• Vulnerable and Authentic: Talking about personal stories can be difficult, but often your vulnerable experiences have a lot of meaning. Being vulnerable also makes you more personable and relatable.
• Explains Realizations: Rather than focusing on what happened, focus on the impact of it and why it's meaningful. How will these past experiences and academic challenges affect you going forward?
• Stronger Conclusion: Try to connect your ending back to the beginning while expanding on it or connecting it to a universal idea. Alternatively, leave your conclusion more open ended.

UCLA Example Essay #11: Educational Challenge

Growing up, I tackled the challenge of school without much guidance from anyone other than my older sister, who is one grade higher. When I was at the young age of just five, my parents divorced and my sister and I were left with our dad, who we did not see often. Because our time with him was limited to driving us to school and home and dinner, we could not ask him for much help with homework or projects. Most of the time, we did the work ourselves or asked our uncle and aunt for help when they came on Saturdays. By the time we reached middle school, I was in more advanced classes, and although my dad had received an Associate’s Degree, he did not take advanced classes like I did, so he was unable to provide much help. My dad only took math up to geometry, and his English was not as fluent as mine, preventing him from providing much help.

Once I enrolled in high school, I was able to get help from teachers, programs, and even my sister. With this newfound help, I overcame the struggle of not knowing what to do in school and life, and I learned that help is always there, but I just needed to ask. Throughout my time in high school, I became more motivated than I was before to do the best I can and overcome anything that comes my way. I was able to do this with help from others, and I will continue to strive for greatness, overcoming any obstacles. Without the help of others, I would not have had the success that I have had in school. My good grades are a testament to the help that I have received in order for me to be where I am now. Although I can say that I have overcome this challenge, there is still one last hurdle, which is to graduate from high school, attend college, and apply everything I have learned to the real world.

• Honesty: Authenticity is most important for your essays. By revealing personal details such as your family life and struggles, you can bring admissions officers into your world.
• Sense of Gratitude: Showing a sense of appreciation and self-awareness makes you immediately more likeable. Nobody succeeds alone, so how did others in your life help you overcome difficulties?
• Provide Clarification: Some parts could be given more context, such as "why is your dad not as fluent in English?". You could use this as an opportunity to talk about your cultural background and create a more clear picture of yourself for the reader.

UCLA Example Essay #12: Self-Improvement Challenge

The saying "you can be your own worst enemy" was the embodiment of the time I hit lowest point. Finishing my 22-hour days, I expected to lay down in bed close my eyes, and smile: thinking about all my accomplishments. Instead, I was sleep deprived, rapidly losing and gaining weight, and unhappy.

As a result, I stopped being able to focus and my grades began to fall. I lost motivation and the only reason I did anything was because of my obsession with completion. In this vulnerable state, I would tell myself I was useless and shy away from taking opportunities. I started to question if could get out of the hole I dug. Ironically, I have always been an optimist. I thought about the many things I wanted to do and I wouldn't be able to do any of them from a hospital bed.

Seeing the bright light ahead of me, I moved forward to a journey of self-improvement. First, I isolated myself from things that were affecting my happiness through finding a place where I could peacefully think about why I was enduring so much pain, regularly eat, and get some sleep. When I came back from my retreat, I continued my routine which improved my health and performance in school. The greatest outcome was my realization that I was compensating for my lack of self-esteem, I've been trying to get validation from my parents and peers by trying to be perfect, but when my friends left me and my parents didn't notice my efforts I overworked myself.

It was hard to stop searching for approval, yet the support of close friends and acknowledging that I'm doing everything I'm capable of, revealed to me what its like to love yourself. From then on, I determined my self worth, no one else. Now that I found my own drive and am confident, I don't have to beg for friends. struggle to maintain grades, skip meals, or lose sleep. Presently, I can say I am no longer my worst enemy: we're like friends that get closer every day.

• Vulnerability: Showing your shortcomings and difficulties is important to reveal how you've grown and changed. Revealing your perspective and emotions also shows that you have self-awareness.
• Provide More Explanation: Don't assume that the reader will remember everything about you. For essays like this, give more context. Answer questions that will come up in the reader's mind, like "Why did you have 22-hour days?".

UC PIQ #6: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words max)

An academic subject that inspires me is Computer Science. Computers have fascinated me ever since a young age. I used my first computer when I was 4 years old- the Apple Macintosh Performa. I began learning about how computers worked in first grade, where I had my own Windows XP computer. I did not know what I was doing when I clicked through the thousands of files that made the computer run, but it was fascinating, and almost seemed like magic. I knew that a career with computers had to be in my future.

My fascination with computers took a new meaning in freshman year, when I decided to learn how to program. I did not know where to start, so I just typed in the search browser, "how to start programming". That day, I started with the Processing Language. It was a simple language to learn, but it built the foundation for my furthered interest in the computer programming aspect of Computer Science. After a couple months of using Processing, I learned HTML/CSS and JavaScript. These languages would allow me to program a wider range of applications. Soon enough, I became bilingual in the languages of computers. As time went on throughout my freshman and sophomore years I exposed myself to more languages like SQL, Batch Scripting, and in junior year, Java.

In my junior year I took AP Computer Science A, and finally after all the years of loving computers, I was able to take Computer Science as a class where I learned the Java language. I also furthered my interest in Computer Science by integrating it with the Engineering club on campus, using the Arduino and Raspberry Pi.

This year I am in Computer Integrated Manufacturing, where I can implement my knowledge of Computer Programming into Engineering, through the use of Corel Draw with the Laser Cutter Printer and AutoDesk Inventor and OpenGL C++ Code with the CAD 3-D Printing machine.

Computer Science has always been a part of my life inside and outside of the classroom, and I seek to continue pursuing it as my major.

• Connects Interests to Extracurriculars: Showing how your activities relate to your passions reveals your motivations and what drives you. By connecting to extracurriculars, it also creates a more complete picture of your application.
• Specific In Naming Things: Whenever you are able to, being specific is better than being vague. By naming programming languages and classes, the story becomes more compelling.
• Explain Why These Things Interest You: What is the root aspect of your interests that intrigue you? Try explaining how you feel when doing these activities and what motivates you. Admissions officers want to know how these interests developed, and more importantly, why they developed.

UC PIQ #7: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words max)

I am "Korean big toes", "a water panda in disguise", and "Mr. Sweatface" - these are the nicknames I happily accepted over the years. My life was a buoyant bubble, full of gratification, funny nicknames, and simple pleasures; but that changed when I was confronted with the inhumane conditions of the LGBT centers around my town.

Stepping into the stone-house building, a few things immediately caught my attention. The rooms were small, full of broken furniture, smelled of mold, and had poor lighting; moreover, there was no privacy and extremely limited resources. It was obvious that the facility didn't have the funds to sustain itself, let alone help anyone trying to assimilate back into society. My heart ached as I realized the advantages I had been taking for granted; the idealistic mirage of reality I previously held, was now replaced by an overwhelming truth: Life isn't fair. Everyone in that facility had been criminalized for their sexuality, and I was going to do something about it!

Over the next few weeks, I brainstormed ideas and eventually decided on creating a blog where I would share the stories of anyone who was willing to speak up for change. The clickety-clack of my keyboard filled the common rooms of LGBT centers around my city. I slowly-but-surely interviewed the residents of these homes, recording stories of inequality and discrimination. As I uploaded each story to my blog, I felt a sense of accomplishment knowing that I was breaking down barriers and fulfilling my passions. Furthermore, reading the comments flooding my inbox, I realized that although the LGBT centers in my area still remain underfunded, I had made an impact on individuals through my blog and did something for a community I genuinely cared about. It was more than I could have ever hoped for.

In my quest to create change, I forged a new nickname for myself -- "advocate"; except, unlike the titles I was bestowed as a kid, this nickname represented my creativity, ingenuity, and passion, and for those reasons, it is more precious than anyone will ever know.

• Vivid Descriptions: Painting a picture can make your stories immediately more interesting. By using descriptive language and word choice, your stories have more life to them.
• Conclusion That Connects to Beginning: Try connecting your ending back to the beginning, but with a new perspective or take. By bringing your essay full circle, it creates a sense of cohesiveness.
• Name Things Specifically: Rather than being general and saying "LGBT centers", the author could name one specifically. Since not everyone may be faimilar with the concept of "LGBT centers", it helps make your essay more concrete and easier to interpret.

UCLA Example Essay #15: Empowering Others Through Peer Tutoring

I never thought that I would tutor other people after school, but that was what I did my junior year and now in my senior year. During my freshman and sophomore years, I was the one being tutored by upperclassmen who had taken my classes before. Receiving help from others inspired me to become a tutor my junior year so I could give back and share the opportunity that I had. At first, I was not sure if I would be up to the task, as I did not feel confident in my teaching abilities in various subjects. As time went on, however, I became at ease and comfortable tutoring anyone the more I tutored along with my peers.

Every day from Monday through Thursday, I went to library as much as I could to help tutor with others from 3 to 4 o’clock, and it slowly became a part of my daily schedule. To begin with, I was not the greatest teacher, but as I helped more and more, I gradually became better at it due to teaching the same concepts repeatedly. Not only was I helping the person I was tutoring understand the subject, but I also was becoming better at the subject by teaching it. Teaching a subject allowed me to relearn concepts and ideas that I had forgotten, as well as studying for a subject if I was tutoring a classmate.

Motivated by wanting to help other students, I was able to be at tutoring most days, and this led to me receiving a tutoring award at my school’s California Scholarship Federation banquet at the end of the year. It was a surprise to me as I was not expecting to be honored. To me, the best award was the satisfaction of helping others understand how to do homework questions and them being grateful for the help. Although this year tutoring is not being held in the library yet, I joined another club that tutors after school for the time being so I can continue helping others and spread my knowledge.

• Shows Their Realizations: Realizations and new understanding are how people change. That's why its important to look for what lessons you learned, and what you took away from your activities.
• Explain Why: Try to predict what questions will arise in the reader's mind, and answer those questions. For this essay, one question that is unanswered is "Why did you never think you would tutor other people?".

UC PIQ #8: Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? (350 words max)

This was the night. Clenching my fists, I called my dad over. Maybe it was the adrenaline coursing through my veins or maybe just suspense, but time seemed to freeze as anxiety washed over my consciousness. A million doubts flooded my mind as I dreaded what would come next. The pitter-patter of his feet hitting the tile floor brought me back to reality. My dad had always loved and supported me, I just had to trust that things would be alright.

In a quivering voice, my hands shaking, I explained to my dad that I was gay. After a brief moment of silence, my dad said ten words that completely changed my life: "I raised you completely wrong, get out of my house". I was devastated, but I wasn't surprised. This was the same person physically forced pork down my throat when I told him I wanted to become a vegetarian; who would hit me and my mom if either of us voiced dissenting opinions; and the same person who would come home drunk and threaten to kill us. With tears running down my cheeks, I packed my belongings and drove my 98' Nissan Pathfinder away from my home. From that night on I learned to be brave, to follow my dreams, and to fight for what I believe in.

The next few years were tough. In my community, being gay was unacceptable and embracing my identity meant enduring the consequences. I will never forget being dragged into a storage room and choked or hiding the bruises I got from being pelted by textbooks. But looking back, I realize that the lessons I learned drove me towards success. They inspired me to be relentless and graduate early, to surpass expectations by doing college-credit classes, and remain strong in the face of oppression and adversity. Moving forward, as I look to broaden my education horizons, I know that I have the emotional vitality to success wherever I go. So I want to dedicate this essay to my dad and to everyone who made me strong, thank you.

• Honest and Vulnerable: Talking about personal stories can be impactful. Often the most difficult stories are the ones that need to be shared.
• Explains Your Perspective and Emotions: Sharing how you felt in a certain moment can allow the reader to "be in your shoes." By telling your perspective, you allow admissions officers to better understand your experience.
• Focus On Takeaways: Although stories are important, what matters more is the lessons and takeaways from those stories. The majority of your essay should be focused on those ideas, with a smaller portion where you talk about what actually happened.

UCLA Example Essay #17: Fostering Inclusive Leadership

All around us, the world is dominated by big voices, people who can present themselves positively and effectively elaborate on their opinions. Many of our most successful politicians carve their paths to the top through their charisma and articulate language. Unfortunately, while many of them possess a strong voice, many of them don’t possess that same strength in listening. While their job is to represent the people, there is a large disconnect between their perspective and the perspectives of their citizens. Even in Congress, civilized debate has transformed into a shouting battle, where both parties attempt to push their ideas, but neither side is willing to listen.

In contrast, a leader with an open ear, an open mind, and an open heart is exactly what I bring to the table. I believe that everyone has a unique story to share. From the most flamboyant billionaires to the people living on the streets, every single person possesses their own unique set of skills, perspective, and knowledge that can be useful to learn from. Because of this, I make it my priority to listen to and understand the human behind each team member I work with. In recognizing each person’s strengths and weaknesses, I’m able to build a positive environment in which every person is able to reach their maximum potential.

For example, when it comes to group projects, I always make sure to know the personalities of those I’m working with and create a transparent and inclusive environment that is conducive to productivity. Rather than dishing out assignments and deadlines, I make sure everyone is able to contribute in a way that matches their strengths and skills. Furthermore, by creating such a transparent atmosphere, group members are able to understand each other’s situations and help each other out like an actual team, allowing everyone to be both productive and pleased.

With all the divisiveness that is taking place in the country today, it is more necessary than ever to have open-minded leaders such as myself to help bring this campus and this nation together.

• Strong Hook Sentence: Using a thought-provoking idea to start your sentence immediately draws the reader in. By having a unique take on the world, people want to read more and are interested by your thoughts.
• Using Examples to Explain: For abstract ideas and concepts, try using a real life example to make things more clear. Capture the essence of your ideas and find what is at the core of them.

Stepping foot in public has been like opening a floodgate to questions and comments about the one thing that I've been looked down upon my entire life for - my height. Standing out because I was 4'9" wasn't something I was proud of; I was picked last for sports, not taken seriously, and often used as a human arm rest. My mom warned me life was going to be hard if I didn't drink my milk. However, people aren't aware that my appearance is a deception and what makes me extraordinary is that I've outgrown myself. People should be asking me how a person so "big" can fit into a girl so tiny. I have a huge personality, dreams, goals, and a plethora of talent. My achievements earned me such a high standing that I do know what the weather is like up there, yet, my head is never in the clouds because my distance from the ground makes me down to earth.

My only oddity is that my anatomy has grown out of proportion. It's hard to believe that with such short arms, I can extend them long enough to touch hearts with my art and performances. I have been devoted to helping people and educating myself ever since I was young, but who knew that my brain and heart would become so gigantic? Despite my how big my brain is, I keep my head as small as my body because I value letting others know that I'll never overlook them.

Although I haven't hit as many significant growth spurts as the average person. I grow with ambition every day, considering every moment a step closer to success. Being able to pursue my passions at a university will allow me to continue maturing into a person who will one day be looked up to by many. The reader of my response cannot see the facade that has been the subject of many peoples first impressions of me. instead, they will observe that even though I can't reach the top shelf, I can still reach my goals in life.

• Using Metaphors: Explaining something ordinary (like being short) in an unusual or not-so-common way can show your unique take on it. By using metaphors, you can connect seemingly unrelated ideas together.

What can you learn from these UCLA essays?

These UC essays are not perfect—nor should they be—but each has interesting ideas and a unique perspective.

Compared to some private university essays , UC essays are relatively straightforward.

So focus on making each UC essay express one interesting idea as your answer.

Here's my top 4 lessons for UCLA essays:

• Avoid too much storytelling and descriptions. You only have 350 words, so focus on ideas.
• Answer every part of the prompt, clearly. Avoid implying your answer. Make sure your idea is crystal clear and relevant.
• Showcase a different aspect of yourself with each essay. Avoid re-using topics, unless you're taking a very different angle.
• Show your thinking. As with all successful essays, your thinking is most important.

Also applying to UC Berkeley?

I've collected additional essays from admitted Cal students that are completely unique from these UCLA essays.

If you're interested, check out these our essays that worked for UC Berkeley .

Which UCLA essay that worked was your favorite? Let me know!

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Princeton Admitted Essay

People love to ask why. Why do you wear a turban? Why do you have long hair? Why are you playing a guitar with only 3 strings and watching TV at 3 A.M.—where did you get that cat? Why won’t you go back to your country, you terrorist? My answer is... uncomfortable. Many truths of the world are uncomfortable...

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Her baking is not confined to an amalgamation of sugar, butter, and flour. It's an outstretched hand, an open invitation, a makeshift bridge thrown across the divides of age and culture. Thanks to Buni, the reason I bake has evolved. What started as stress relief is now a lifeline to my heritage, a language that allows me to communicate with my family in ways my tongue cannot. By rolling dough for saratele and crushing walnuts for cornulete, my baking speaks more fluently to my Romanian heritage than my broken Romanian ever could....

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A cow gave birth and I watched. Staring from the window of our stopped car, I experienced two beginnings that day: the small bovine life and my future. Both emerged when I was only 10 years old and cruising along the twisting roads of rural Maryland...

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Freshman Applicants

Applying to college is exciting but going through the process can bring up a lot of questions. We’re here to help you along the way. This page will take you through the basics and lead you to the detailed information you need.

Beginning Your Application

You may apply for admission as a freshman if you meet the following criteria:

• You’re currently in high school.
• Or, you’ve already graduated from high school, but haven’t yet enrolled in a regular session at a college or university.

To begin the application process, use the University of California’s online application (UC Application).

Admission Considerations and Requirements

There are a wide variety of factors we consider when admitting our newest Bruins each year. We seek students whose personal stories and rich experience bring the type of perspective and leadership that we value. We seek intellectually curious students who have grown through their academic work and are ready to both contribute to and benefit from the UCLA community. Ours is a highly selective admission process but know that we read every application closely and seek to know our applicants as best we can before making our final admission decisions.

When you apply for admission, we consider your accomplishments both in and outside of the classroom. In fact, there are 13 criteria that our faculty have approved for freshman admission consideration. Among the factors we consider are:

• Strong academic performance in a rigorous high school program.
• Special talents, awards or accomplishments.
• Meaningful insights about yourself when answering the personal insight questions.

We are often asked what the difference is between meeting the UC admission requirements and being “competitive.” Our most successful applicants go beyond minimum requirements and seek to challenge themselves to grow both in and outside of the classroom. To learn more about this and all things freshman requirements, use the link below.

The UCLA Freshman

We know that every potential freshman has a story that goes beyond their grade point average. Using a process called comprehensive review,  we carefully balance many factors to gain a complete sense of every applicant’s achievements. We take into account how hard you’ve worked to take advantage of the opportunities you’ve had to excel, extracurricular activities and your community.

Some factors are more easily quantifiable than others, but you should understand that we use the full range of factors made available to us through comprehensive review in evaluating and admitting freshmen each year. Among these factors are:

• Grades and GPA (4.0 average unweighted GPA for fall 2023 admits)
• Rigor of your high school curriculum
• Leadership and involvement outside of the classroom
• Your own accomplishments, life experiences and circumstances

Dates and Deadlines

You can start working on your application in your senior year when it becomes available on August 1. Applications can be submitted October 1–November 30.

UC application opens

Application filing period

Filing period opens for Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) and Dream Act Application for all applicants; filing period opens for GPA Verification Form (required for California residents only for Cal Grant consideration)

Admission notification 

Deadline for applicants to submit their financial aid application (FAFSA), Dream Act, and Cal Grant GPA verification forms

Deadline to submit your enrollment deposit and application for on-campus housing.

Send your final, official transcripts to admissions. They must be postmarked or electronically submitted on or before July 1.

Official AP, IB examination results must be sent to admissions. Test scores must be postmarked or electronically submitted on or before July 15.

UCLA does not offer early action or early decision for any applications. Also, we are on the quarter system calendar and only accept applications for the fall term.

Choosing a Major

College is a time of discovery and self-discovery — and deciding on your major involves both.

For freshmen applying to a major in UCLA’s College of Letters and Science, choice of major will neither enhance nor diminish your prospects for admission. In fact, a large number of freshman applicants apply as “undeclared.”

Supplemental Applications

Some of our majors outside of the College may require applicants to submit a supplemental application directly to that school. These supplemental applications and supporting materials help the faculty in those schools to evaluate applicants for admission to their program. Those schools are listed below:

• School of the Arts and Architecture
• Herb Alpert School of Music
• School of Nursing
• School of Theater, Film and Television

Applicants must list majors in these schools as their first-choice major when completing the UC application. Applicants who select programs in these schools as their alternate major will be reviewed for their primary major only.

Tips to Become UCLA Ready

Our mission as a university can be described in three words: education, research and service. We value students who seek academic excellence, get hands-on  to solve problems  and strive to give back to their community.

• Challenge yourself with classes beyond the minimum requirements.
• Stay focused on getting the best grades possible.
• Develop your leadership skills and style.
• Explore extracurriculars to determine your passions.
• Stay sharp with apps designed to test your math abilities.
• Spend time making your community a better place.
• Read! Reading increases your knowledge and improves writing ability.

Additional Links

• Transferring Credits
• Reporting Changes to Applications

As another resource, you can find the same information in our Freshman Admission Guide (PDF)  or in the Spanish version  of the guide.

• Medical School Application

UCLA Secondary Essay Prompts and Examples

Looking for UCLA secondary essay information? You've come to the right spot. In this blog, we will go over several UCLA secondary essay examples and give you tips for how to make your secondaries stand out!

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Article Contents 8 min read

The David Geffen School of Medicine at the University of California in Los Angeles (UCLA) receives thousands of applicants each year competing for approximately 160 places into its MD program. Upon receiving the supplemental application request letter, students will have just fifteen days to complete and submit their secondary application, which requires addressing 10 different prompts. This is a tight timeline for most, so preparing your UCLA secondary essays in advance will allow for well-thought, well-crafted responses. This post will provide you with the UCLA secondary essay prompts along with sample essay examples.

Secondary applications are sent by medical schools between August - October to further assess a candidate's suitability for the profession. The secondaries are comprised of questions or prompts that are designed to help the admissions committee learn more about a candidate's passions, interests, and experiences. Applicants are required to answer these prompts while adhering to strict word or character counts. The length of each essay is school dependent, some prompts will require a response in 150 words, while others will allow for 1500 words. While some schools send out secondary applications to all applicants, others only send out secondaries to applicants they are interested in learning more about. While there are many medical school secondary essay examples , " why do you want to be a doctor ", " tell me about yourself " and  diversity essay medical school  prompts are common.

Every institution will have its own medical school application timelines . UCLA accepts applicants on a rolling admissions schedule. Once an applicant has received the secondary application request letter, applicants are given a maximum of 15 days to submit their application, or it's due by UCLA's mid-October deadline, whichever is earlier. Due to this, it's recommended that applicants submit their primary application to AMCAS early, well before the UCLA AMCAS application deadline. Here is UCLA's typical timeline:

Rolling offers of admission starting in October of the year of application "}]">

Each school has its own list of medical school secondary essays  comprised of between one to ten prompts on average. The UCLA medical school requirements call for 10 different secondary essay prompts, probing students to explore their interests, volunteer experience, significant achievements, and hardships. Use the examples below as a guideline to help you create your own unique responses.

1. Describe your involvement in the one most important non-academic activity in your life. (800 char)

In high school, I developed a hobby that quickly turned into a daily habit: exercising. Exercise has had a formidable impact on many areas of my life. Regular exercise creates discipline and amplifies my work ethic. When I was insecure, working out increased my confidence. Exercise gave me a sense of control by displaying the direct correlation between my hard work and the results that are attained. This revelation was first noticed through this habit, but it swiftly carried over to many other areas of my life as well. I strongly believe that this habit played a major role in my character development, and I would not be the same person I am today if I never began exercising.

Click here to see another response to this prompt.

2. What has been the one most unique leadership, entrepreneurial or creative activity in which you participated? (800 char)

While volunteering at the Arts Academy, a society serving those with disabilities, I noticed the boys participated in activities not otherwise available to girls. Many girls had issues making friends, while the boys seemed comfortable with each other. To improve the girl's situation, I started the first girls’ basketball team. Many families were against the girl's participation as they believed sports were for boys. By explaining the mental and physical health benefits of participating, I successfully convinced half of the families. The girls became more confident and self-sufficient. I felt accomplished, not just because I taught them basketball, but because they'd become friends. This experience taught me compassion, commitment, and how to work with people from different backgrounds.

1. Streamline your responses.

The UCLA secondary essay prompts are quite challenging for students. At first glance at the low character counts, you may feel relieved to discover you won't be writing ten different chapters. However, many of the prompts require a response between 300-500 characters, equating to roughly 3-5 sentences. To convey maturity, passion, and lessons learned in only a few sentences is extremely difficult. Students must be able to craft a concise, direct response to the question while adhering strictly to the character count. To create a streamlined response, focus on the main takeaway point that you want to convey, and structure your response around it.

2. Demonstrate self-reflection.

It isn't enough to simply state an experience that you've had when answering the UCLA secondary prompts, you need to be able to demonstrate your ability to self-reflect by conveying to the admissions committee what you learned, how an experience has helped your growth, and how it can benefit you as a physician. If you notice in the examples provided above, each entry includes a takeaway message which not only shows reflection, but also maturity and growth.

3. Perfect your spelling and grammar.

Your UCLA secondary essays have to be perfect as they are a direct reflection of who you are as a candidate. Mistakes indicate a lack of professionalism, a lack of interest, and therefore, a lack of suitability for the profession. It's essential to proofread your essays multiple times to ensure there are no spelling or grammatical errors. 

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University of California, Los Angeles | UCLA’s 2023-24 Essay Prompts

Select-a-prompt short responses.

Please respond to any 4 of the 8 questions below.We realize that not all questions apply to all applicants, so be sure to select the 4 questions that you believe give us the best information about you.All 8 questions are given equal consideration in the application review process. Responses to each question should be between 250-350 words.

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

What will first-time readers think of your college essay?

How to Write the UCLA Supplemental Essays + 4 Examples

The UCLA supplemental essays (which are just the UC PIQs) are some of the most commonly requested essays we get. And, there’s a good reason for that: UCLA is a coveted school all across the world.

Surprisingly, it seems to even have more demand than UC Berkeley.

Well, who wouldn’t want to live in Los Angeles and enjoy a beautifully diverse community? Who doesn’t want a world-renown education that can push them to a great career?

Oh, and who can forget the food?

Almost every client we’ve worked with said their #1 reason for applying to UCLA is for the food.

…which is probably not a good reason.

Nonetheless, most of our clients got their wish! So, win-win right?

For the sake of this article, though, we’ll be covering one particular client and the successful application essays we helped them craft and brainstorm. When we worked with them on their UCLA application, they were applying knowing that they had a rather slim chance of acceptance.

It’s important to note that practically EVERYONE has a slim chance of getting accepted into UCLA. After all, the class of 2025 had an acceptance rate of 10.77% . The class of 2026 had an acceptance rate of 8.57%.

So, our client wasn’t exactly an outlier here.

Nonetheless, we’re quite impressed and proud of them for the quality of their essay. Working with them throughout the brainstorming, editing, and writing process was a pleasure; we’re hoping to provide everyone with the same quality of help!

In this article, we’ll be covering how to write the UCLA Supplemental Essays by showing you 4 example essays that worked. We’ll also cover what made these example essays get our client accepted.

Table of Contents

About Our Client’s Stats

Ucla essay 1: the labor of baking, ucla essay 2: adhd, ucla essay 3: life of a pretty girl, ucla essay 4: asking for help, flow and readability, honesty and transparency, growth over time.

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During the application process, our client was quite pessimistic about their acceptance chances.

They had a lower GPA than the average applying year. In addition, they had a few incongruencies during their academic years that made applying a bit difficult.

This was partly due to a late diagnosis of ADHD, compensating for this learning condition as a neuroatypical student, and a conglomeration of other unusual circumstances such as business operations and other externalities.

Though, they did have some level of work experience, startup small business experience, and experience at an internship.

Long story short, due to unusual circumstances and an abnormal background, our client didn’t have as competitive of a GPA and extracurriculars/work experience as other highly qualified candidates to be competitive.

That’s why it took quite a lot of time, effort, and elbow grease for our team to collaborate with them and make a solid set of UCLA essays that worked.

And, hey! They got in!

*cue streamers*

Now, what does this mean?

It does NOT mean that you can get accepted into UCLA just by writing a solid essay.

UCLA weighs the GPA heavily into its admissions decision process. So, just having a great essay alone is not going to guarantee your foot in the door.

However, if you do have a lower-than-average GPA, it’s important that you use the UCLA essays as a way to subtly explain the reason for your low performance. You can even use the additional information section to elaborate on strange or unusual parts of your application!

Alright, with that said, let’s go over 4 of our UCLA supplemental essay examples that worked.

UCLA Supplemental Essay Examples

0. Please describe how you have prepared for your intended major, including your readiness to succeed in your upper-division courses once you enroll at the university. UC Essay Prompt –Required Question

“As a Labor Studies major, I believe every experience we have in the workforce is one that can prepare us for the future.  When I was a child I spent my summers in Zürich, Switzerland surrounded by the smell of fresh pastries and chocolates in my grandma’s house. As a young adult, I chased after that nostalgia by recreating it in a career that would bring me closer to feeling that same amount of contentment. So in the beginning of 2020 I started my own business right out of culinary school. I didn’t have the textbook knowledge that most entrepreneurs would’ve liked to begin with; but, I had a network of people supporting my endeavor. Being a business owner was a dream of mine, and it demanded quick learning. My experiences as an employee in my adolescent years greatly shaped the way that I held myself as an employer in my own company.  Through trial and error, I successfully scaled it for nearly a full year before the effects of the global pandemic hit. I wasn’t willing to give up so quickly and persevered through a second year, which gave me the opportunity to connect with other business owners like myself. Through all of the tribulations, I found a community of people I felt I could identify with and learn from. This first-hand experience lets me understand the dynamics of labor in our modern world on a personal level.  Those years I spent staying up late, working weekends, and missing friends and family gave me so much more than I could imagine. I learned how to pace myself, connect with others, and it gave me a determination to succeed that I didn’t know I had in me. At the end I discovered that I had so much more than one singular dream and I began to accept that making new memories is better than chasing old ones. The entirety of it all, made me someone who’ll always be a student ready to learn new concepts even if they aren’t the ones I was expecting.” Successful UC Essay for Required Question

Note: If you’re looking to write your UCLA essay on ADHD, we understand how it could potentially be troubling and difficult to write. If you’re NOT certain you can write a UCLA essay on ADHD, we STRONGLY recommend checking out our sister article here .

5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? UC Essay Propmt 5 –Challenge Question

“There’s no more shockingly profound moment before they come back from the room and give you an official title of, “So, you happen to have attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)” because, like trumpets roaring in unison, the mind finally goes… “Aha! So that’s what it was this whole time!” Though, personally, I don’t think it’s entirely accurate. It’s more than just the stereotypes, and the scatterbrained-ness. It’s literally being incongruent from others. It’s masking said difference as “oh, silly me; how quirky, teehee!” and hoping, hoping, that I won’t somehow get “discovered” as if hiding were so necessary. It’s that… and, like, a million more.  Here’s an example.  My diverted attention in action during class: A discussion on Poe’s “Raven”. I’d think, “there-was-a-guy-from-a-show-I-watched-who-was-surrounded-by-ravens-and-wow-he-was-attractive-I-wish-I-could-move-like-a-ninja-like-him-I-wonder-how-ninjas-even…” before having my stream of consciousness interrupted by “[client name], what did Poe really mean?” to which I’d scan the board for context clues at mach 5 speed to answer.  And, what else would a teacher feel other than sassed? Here’s some girl, who looks like she’s not paying attention, and then answers questions anyway. So: punishment.  When my best friend suggested I see a professional, I initially thought she was joking. But, I went anyway. Hearing a professional deconstruct every element of my life in perfect surgical detail was stunning.  It’s hard to navigate the world once you realize you’ve been disadvantaged in certain ways that you never knew were possible. It felt like I was running a marathon, only to discover half way through that I started five miles behind everyone else. It shattered my world… for a moment.  But, I adapted using my newfound knowledge to catch up on academic goals otherwise unreachable. This adaptation required Herculean mental strength to overcome old habits and condition my divergent mind to modern sensibilities. Don’t give in to instant gratification; stare intently at a single object without breaking attention; pace the workload and transition when needed; listen and rewatch lectures when the mind is tame. Most importantly: forgiveness. It’s biting my shameful pride and accepting at teams my imperfection. I forgive myself for not meeting other people’s standards. It’s definitely not perfect, but it’s progress and I’m better for it.” Successful UC Essay Prompt 5 Example Essay

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? UC Essay Prompt 3 –Talent or Skill Prompt

“She looks over the edge of the cliff, or at least what she can make of it being just inches away from the precipice of falling from a horrible height. She doesn’t want to look, and her imagination runs wild into just how steep the fall is; yet, there’s a brutalizing crawling atop the cliff that she can’t stop. She keeps walking, and it gets closer. She doesn’t want to see. She gets closer. It’s coming.   This is the life of a “pretty girl” –metaphorically, of course.  I don’t really like the label of being called a “pretty girl”… wait. I can’t even continue that thought without also saying I don’t fully believe I’m that pretty. I would feel vain and arrogant if I didn’t at least acknowledge that I don’t see myself that way. The topic of Aestheticism is just like that: a minefield where you can’t talk about one thing without triggering another topic.  So, if my prose is still bearable, I’d like to share what my life being labeled as “aesthetically gifted” is like. It’s hard. Hard in what way?  Well, it’s dreadful. Dread for the future. Those with our label can’t think in the future; or, at least, we shouldn’t. How does that work?  When I was in elementary and middle school, I was always told by strangers and family members that I was pretty. It taught me something subtle: that there’s quite a lot of value to be pretty. I am nothing without beauty, as beauty is everything to young women in society. But, what happens as I age and the collagen runs dry? Life no longer holds meaning because I don’t mean anything to society once my beauty fades. It’s a nihilism bomb. Tick, tick, tick.  I do not develop my talent in beauty; I overcome it.  How? It means looking past that cliff. It means seeing what’s beyond and accepting that, at some point, that beauty fades. But, I’ll no longer have my value as a human be determined by the whims of others’ standards. And, with that ego death, I started to live.”  Successful UC Essay Prompt 3 Example Essay

7. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? UC Essay Prompt 7 –Strong Candidacy Prompt

“After closing my business in March, I didn’t have high expectations for this summer. In June, I was given an opportunity to work with my half-sister in a company she’s been at for a while. When I accepted, I couldn’t anticipate that I would grow so quickly into a managerial position or that I would come to meet and love the people I do now. The team that I’m working with at the moment has given me the faith to lean on my teammates and really come together to exceed our own expectations. I’m aware that the area we’re in, San Gabriel Valley, is a very close-knit area so the sense of cultural community that it provides is astounding. I’m grateful to have been given the chance to manage this team over the summer and into next year as they’ve really branched out my world view. Having been born and raised here in southern California, I previously felt that I already had a broad cultural experience given the diversity of Los Angeles.  Working with this team has shown me that we can always broaden our horizons and that there is so much more this world has to offer. Even against our own volition, we’d hear, “It’s ‘okay’ to ask for help” and we’d brush that off with a “yeah, yeah…” knowing full well we won’t. But, now we don’t.  That’s because it’s not just ‘okay’ to ask for help. It’s necessary.  I have more pride in the richness of my own cultural background after participating in this project and I believe I can bring a new perspective to any table that I may have the opportunity to sit at. My time with this group has extended my patience, and deepened my empathy and compassion. I choose to see this and all of my previous experiences as adventures that have strengthened my integrity and I am beyond appreciative for that. I’m eagerly awaiting the opportunity to use the knowledge I’ve accumulated to enrich any future experiences I’ll have, whether it be in an academic or social setting.” Successful UC Essay Prompt 7 Example Essay

Why They Worked

There are a lot of elements that make up a strong college essay. For our example UCLA supplemental essays, we’ve needed to take a lot of time editing, writing, rewriting, and brainstorming before coming to the final product.

Here are the 4 elements that made these essays strong.

Creativity, flow and readability, honesty and transparency, and growth over time.

Note that you do NOT need to have ALL of these elements to write a winning set of UCLA supplemental essays. However, it certainly helps to have all of these elements in your writing if you want to maximize your chances of getting accepted.

One of the best elements you can implement into your UCLA supplemental essays —and all college essays for that matter— is creativity.

Having creative prose can help your essay stand out from the rest of the admissions pool.

But, there are many ways you can be creative in your UCLA supplemental essays. You can be creative by using analogies to explain your situation. You can be creative through your imagery and prose. You can be creative by answering the UC PIQs in an unconventional manner.

Here’s an example of our implementing creativity into our client’s essay.

“She looks over the edge of the cliff, or at least what she can make of it being just inches away from the precipice of falling from a horrible height. She doesn’t want to look, and her imagination runs wild into just how steep the fall is; yet, there’s a brutalizing crawling atop the cliff that she can’t stop. She keeps walking, and it gets closer. She doesn’t want to see. She gets closer. It’s coming. This is the life of a “pretty girl” –metaphorically, of course.” Example of Creatvity in the UCLA Essays –PenningPapers

Note that our client could have just written about how hard life was as a pretty girl. However, she knew that many people suffer the same problems that pretty women endure. Thus, they can have a more powerful essay by implementing creative prose into the essay.

We advised our client to start the essay with an analogy of what being a pretty girl was like. Then, we suggested using an unconventional sentence structure and length that would diversify the feel of the writing.

This was especially effective, and gave her story a much more rich experience for the admissions officers compared to just stating, “Being pretty is hard.”

Interestingly enough, it’s this creativity that actually allows students to write about college essay topics that they feel they’re not too comfortable discussing. Topics like death, ADHD, money, and other controversial topics may seem too risky. It’s why few people write about it, which makes them uncommon and unique topics.

But, creative prose allows students to approach such topics beautifully to captivate admissions officers.

Flow and readability constitute the backbone of your college essays.

If you want to write a successful UCLA supplemental essay that gets you accepted (and perhaps even is usable for other college essay questions) you will need to have a strong flow and readability that admissions officers can understand.

If you don’t have flow in your writing, you risk having a choppy sentence structure that makes following your words difficult.

Here’s a good example of flow in our example UCLA supplemental essays.

“My diverted attention in action during class: A discussion on Poe’s “Raven”. I’d think, “there-was-a-guy-from-a-show-I-watched-who-was-surrounded-by-ravens-and-wow-he-was-attractive-I-wish-I-could-move-like-a-ninja-like-him-I-wonder-how-ninjas-even…” before having my stream of consciousness interrupted by “[client name], what did Poe really mean?” to which I’d scan the board for context clues at Mach 5 speed to answer.  And, what else would a teacher feel other than sassed? Here’s some girl, who looks like she’s not paying attention, and then answers questions anyway. So: punishment.  Example of Flow and Readability in the UCLA Supplemental Essays –PenningPapers

Pat attention to the way the writing here reads. The first sentence is quite long and verbose. However, the way the subjects and predicates are strung together is consistent and easy enough to read for an admissions officer to skim through in one sitting without having to read twice.

You can make the flow and readability of your writing easier to understand by writing all events in the order of when they occur. In this case, there are no jumps in the timeline. It’s just our client detailing what their experience with boredom in class is like. Then, they move to the teacher testing their attention. Then, the client scans the board. Then, the teacher feels sassed. Then, punishment.

The order of events follows a timeline and does not jump between events. So, it’s easy for admissions officers to follow the events occurring in the essay.

In addition, you’ll notice we helped our client bring variety in sentence structure, punctuation, and sentence length. By diversifying these elements of writing, the text appears more interesting and appealing to the eye.

Make sure to use different punctuation like semicolons, em dashes, and colons. Vary the length of sentences. And, vary the order of predicates and subjects.

By doing this, you prevent your writing from sounding choppy and boring. This also keeps admissions officers interested and makes the overall flow easier to understand.

We give this point to practically every college essay example and guide, and for good reason.

To write a successful UCLA supplemental essay that gets you accepted, you must speak honestly and transparently. This is perhaps one of the most understated pieces of advice given to UC applicants.

If you write with honesty and transparency, the best parts of your personality are going to shine through your writing. You won’t sound fake. You won’t sound ostentatious. You’ll sound like a candidate that the admissions office can trust.

And, in the modern age of college admissions scandals , fake extracurriculars , and lazy students looking to game the system at every corner, trust is worth more than gold.

We’ll repeat that.

If you can gain the admissions officer’s trust in the essay section, that trust is worth more than gold. Period.

Here’s a super cool example of what being honest and transparent can do.

“ I don’t really like the label of being called a “pretty girl”… wait. I can’t even continue that thought without also saying I don’t fully believe I’m that pretty. I would feel vain and arrogant if I didn’t at least acknowledge that I don’t see myself that way. The topic of Aestheticism is just like that: a minefield where you can’t talk about one thing without triggering another topic. “ Example Honesty and Trasnparency in the UCLA supplemental essay –PenningPapers

The interesting thing about this passage of our UCLA example PIQ is that it interrupts the flow of dialogue to introduce meta ideas that our client was feeling. They don’t like being called a “pretty girl”. But, before they can even continue talking about that, they recognize that the potential to be called “vain” and “arrogant” hangs over their head like a Sword of Damocles.

This is therefore a loaded conversation that is impossible to discuss without stepping over eggshells. And, the client’s recognition of said conversational trickiness opens her up to the admissions officers.

Opening up to the admissions officers and recognizing when some things are hard is a great way to get close to your readers. It, of course, needs to be approached with tact and delicate writing skill.

If you wish to cover an unconventional or difficult topic in your UCLA supplemental essays, but don’t know how to do so correctly, consider speaking with us for a free consultation . Our college admissions essay editors and advisors can help you craft a strong supplemental essay that stands out without raising any red flags.

We’re going to be upfront about this.

You don’t technically have to write about growth over time in your essay explicitly. That is, you don’t need to dedicate any lines or paragraphs explaining how you grew or developed in character over the years. There doesn’t need to be a dedicated section to it.

But, it is still useful to demonstrate such growth over time subtly through inference.

Here’s an example of showing growth over time.

“But, I adapted using my newfound knowledge to catch up on academic goals otherwise unreachable. This adaptation required Herculean mental strength to overcome old habits and condition my divergent mind to modern sensibilities. Don’t give in to instant gratification; stare intently at a single object without breaking attention; pace the workload and transition when needed; listen and rewatch lectures when the mind is tame. Most importantly: forgiveness. It’s biting my shameful pride and accepting at teams my imperfection. I forgive myself for not meeting other people’s standards. It’s definitely not perfect, but it’s progress and I’m better for it. “ Example of Growth Over Time in the UCLA Supplemental Essay –PenningPapers

You don’t need to directly state that you’re growing and developing in your essay. But, it’s helpful to demonstrate it subtly through the language in your writing.

In this UCLA supplemental essay example, we used techniques for overcoming a scattered mind to demonstrate the client’s willingness to change for the better. We show HOW our client is improving in their condition rather than SAYING it directly. It’s this “show don’t tell” mindset that actually makes the writing much more convincing to admissions officers.

By showing growth over time subtly through the efforts you do rather than just stating it as fact, you can gain your reader’s trust. And, as we mentioned previously: trust is worth more than gold.

If you’re still unsure of how to approach the UCLA supplemental essay or are still looking to write strong essays that stand out from the rest of the admissions pool, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Schedule a free UC admissions essay consultation with us. Our expert college admissions consultants and essay editors will provide you with the best practices needed to write a winning set of PIQ essays that get you accepted into UCLA.

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Successful UCLA Essays

Ucla essays →.

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• Which questions you choose to answer is entirely up to you. However, you should select questions that are most relevant to your experience and that best reflect your individual circumstances.

Keep in mind

• All questions are equal. All are given equal consideration in the application review process, which means there is no advantage or disadvantage to choosing certain questions over others.
• There is no right or wrong way to answer these questions. It’s about getting to know your personality, background, interests and achievements in your own unique voice.  
• Use the additional comments field if there are issues you'd like to address that you didn't have the opportunity to discuss elsewhere on the application. This shouldn't be an essay, but rather a place to note unusual circumstances or anything that might be unclear in other parts of the application. You may use the additional comments field to note extraordinary circumstances related to COVID-19, if necessary. 

Questions & guidance

Remember, the personal insight questions are just that—personal. Which means you should use our guidance for each question just as a suggestion in case you need help. The important thing is expressing who you are, what matters to you and what you want to share with UC. 

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. Things to consider: A leadership role can mean more than just a title. It can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of a specific task, or taking the lead role in organizing an event or project. Think about what you accomplished and what you learned from the experience. What were your responsibilities?

Did you lead a team? How did your experience change your perspective on leading others? Did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school, church, in your community or an organization? And your leadership role doesn't necessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do you help out or take care of your family? 2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. Things to consider: What does creativity mean to you? Do you have a creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do with that skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution? What are the steps you took to solve the problem?

How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career? 3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? Things to consider: If there is a talent or skill that you're proud of, this is the time to share it.You don't necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about it, feel free to do so). Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you?

Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule? 4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. Things to consider: An educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. For example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy that's geared toward an occupation or a major, or taking advanced courses that interest you; just to name a few.

If you choose to write about educational barriers you've faced, how did you overcome or strive to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who you are today? 5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you've faced and what you've learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone?

If you're currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example, ask yourself, How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends or with my family? 6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. Things to consider:  Many students have a passion for one specific academic subject area, something that they just can't get enough of. If that applies to you, what have you done to further that interest? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom such as volunteer work, internships, employment, summer programs, participation in student organizations and/or clubs and what you have gained from your involvement.

Has your interest in the subject influenced you in choosing a major and/or future career? Have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in this subject (honors, AP, IB, college or university work)? Are you inspired to pursue this subject further at UC, and how might you do that?

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community?

Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community? 8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? Things to consider:  If there's anything you want us to know about you but didn't find a question or place in the application to tell us, now's your chance. What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge or opportunity that you think will help us know you better?

From your point of view, what do you feel makes you an excellent choice for UC? Don't be afraid to brag a little.

Writing tips

Start early..

Give yourself plenty of time for preparation, careful composition and revisions.

Write persuasively.

Making a list of accomplishments, activities, awards or work will lessen the impact of your words. Expand on a topic by using specific, concrete examples to support the points you want to make.

Use “I” statements.

Talk about yourself so that we can get to know your personality, talents, accomplishments and potential for success on a UC campus. Use “I” and “my” statements in your responses.

Proofread and edit.

Although you will not be evaluated on grammar, spelling or sentence structure, you should proofread your work and make sure your writing is clear. Grammatical and spelling errors can be distracting to the reader and get in the way of what you’re trying to communicate.

Solicit feedback.

Your answers should reflect your own ideas and be written by you alone, but others — family, teachers and friends can offer valuable suggestions. Ask advice of whomever you like, but do not plagiarize from sources in print or online and do not use anyone's words, published or unpublished, but your own.

Copy and paste.

Once you are satisfied with your answers, save them in plain text (ASCII) and paste them into the space provided in the application. Proofread once more to make sure no odd characters or line breaks have appeared.

This is one of many pieces of information we consider in reviewing your application. Your responses can only add value to the application. An admission decision will not be based on this section alone.

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How to Write the Most Common Supplemental College Essays: A Complete Guide

Note: This post focuses on supplemental essays. If you want advice on the Common App prompts, check out our guide to the Common App essays .

Your grades are in, your test scores have been sent, and recommendation letters have been uploaded…but there’s one last component of your college applications left: the essays. For many students, essays are the final and most daunting hurdle to clear before hitting submit.

Your essays, however, are your opportunity to tell admissions officers how you want them to remember you. Maybe you didn’t do so well on the SAT, or maybe you got a lower grade than you hoped for in Honors Chemistry, but you can’t change your grades or scores.

The essays, however, are entirely in your control. There is so much freedom to tell your story and what makes you unique. Our mission at CollegeVine is to make the essay-writing as stress-free as possible. Read on for our tips and tricks on writing a college essay that will give you the best chance at getting that thick envelope!

Content overview:

• Why this college?
• Why this major?
• Elaborate on an extracurricular activity or work experience.
• Discuss a community you belong to that has impacted who you are today.
• Crafting the essay
• Avoiding pitfalls

Want to learn more about Supplemental Essays? Check out one of our popular recorded live streams on this topic.

Common Types of College Essays

Colleges will find a hundred different ways to ask a question, but most of the time, the prompt boils down to one of the following common essay themes.

Common Essay #1: Why this college?

Students’ most common mistake on a “Why this college?” essay is lack of specificity; in particular, some students will list attributes that can apply to multiple schools, which is what you want to avoid at all costs.

When it comes to a “Why this college?” essay, you need to discuss qualities and programs specific to that school. It is not enough to merely list or name-drop, however. Instead, talk about why this item is important to you. Here’s how this plays out:

What not to do:

I want to go to the University of Southern California because it is a highly ranked school in Los Angeles. In addition, I like its Cosmic Writers Club, as well as the Incubate USC program. I am especially excited about the abundant film resources.

Why the previous response doesn’t work:

There are many reasons you want to avoid a response like this. Let’s start with the first sentence: replace the school’s name with UCLA and the accuracy doesn’t suffer. What this means is that the sentence is not specific enough to USC. In addition, you never want to state, or even imply, that you’re applying to a school due to prestige or ranking.

The exception for the previous rule is if a school is ranked highly for a specific program of interest. For example, if you want to pursue creative writing and a school has the number one creative writing program in the country, you can mention this because it is a quality specific to that school. A school’s overall prestige, however, should not be mentioned in your essay.

Why else doesn’t this response work? Let’s look at the second sentence. The writer does well to mention specific programs within USC. However, the response fails to discuss why they liked these programs or how they would benefit from having access to them.

What to write instead:

As someone with a lasting love for writing and a blossoming passion for entrepreneurship, I was so excited to find a large urban school like the University of Southern California that would give me the resources to pursue both. From classes with award-winning authors—amongst them Professor T. Boyle, whose environmental fiction works are similar to those I hope to someday publish—to clubs like the Cosmic Writers Club, which unites author hopefuls, USC offers more resources than I could ever exhaust in my journey to publish my first book.

On the business side, USC is known for fostering the type of creativity and innovation needed in pursuing start-ups. In particular, I was so excited to learn of the Incubate USC program, a unique mothership of ideas that nurtures the creativity of students. With the help of this program, I would be able to pursue my growing interest in the world of start-up ventures.

Why the previous response works:

This response not only mentions programs and resources specific to USC, but it shows how the student would take advantage of these opportunities. In addition, this response portrays passion and ambition, infusing elements of the student’s personality while still staying focused on answering the prompt.

Other things to keep in mind:

• The first time you say the school’s name, you should write it out. After that, you can abbreviate.
• Avoid writing what every other applicant is going to write. For example, every NYU applicant is going to mention NYU’s location in New York City. Unless you have a unique twist on this, you should skip it.
• Don’t mention frivolous things like dorms or dining halls. Your reasons for liking a school should be more substantial.
• Do your research. For example, don’t say you’ve always wanted to go to a city if you’re writing an essay for a rural school.
• Do not copy and paste your “Why this college?” essay and simply change the school name. Many non-Harvard admissions officers have received essays from students about why they want to go to Harvard. If your “Why this college?” essay is so general that you can copy and paste it, your reasoning will not impress admissions officers.

For more tips on writing this essay, see our complete guide to the “Why this college?” essay , including a real sample essay.

Common Essay #2: Why this major? 

One of the most important things to remember is that admissions officers are not looking for a résumé. This is not to say you can’t discuss your activities and how they culminated a passion for a specific major. The challenge, however, is to use these activities to tell a story rather than a mere list of achievements.

How do you do this? Share your thought processes. Many times it is the thoughts surrounding an activity more than the activity itself that will show the reader your journey to choosing a major.

Other tips:

• Don’t ever say that your reason for choosing a major is money-making potential. If you want to mention life beyond college, then talk about how this major will help you achieve your dreams. If your dream is to produce a feature-length film and a film major will help you get there, say that. But don’t say your dream is to be a rich film producer.
• Undeclared? That’s totally okay. Just be sure to list a couple potential majors, and explain your interest in those. Under no circumstances should you say you have absolutely no idea, as that will make you look like you don’t care. For more tips, see our post on how to write the “Why this major?” essay if you’re undecided .

For more tips on writing this essay, see our complete guide to the “Why this major?” essay , including a real sample essay.

Common Essay 3: Elaborate on an extracurricular activity or work experience.

Is there an activity or work experience in your application that you have more to say about? Maybe there’s a story behind it that you want to tell. Some questions to consider are:

• How did you become interested in this extracurricular?
• What is your role in the activity or work experience?
• Why do you do it?
• Have you experienced growth within the activity over time?

There are endless angles you can pursue here, but your essay should, in short, show your motivation behind participating in a certain activity or job.

What you don’t want to do, however, is simply restate something that’s been said elsewhere. If you have already spotlighted an activity in another essay for a given college, don’t write about the same activity. Your goal here is to share new information and your breadth of experiences.

As with the “Why Major?” prompt, it is more powerful to share a story with the reader rather than to detail the activity itself.

For more tips on writing this essay, see our complete guide to the Extracurricular Activity essay , including a real sample essay.

Common Essay 4: Discuss a community you belong to that has impacted who you are today.

“Community” can mean many things, so there are many possible approaches to this prompt. Some applicants respond with a community they’re linked to through culture, and others through sports or a club.

One thing you can emphasize is personal growth—or other aspects of who you are as a person—that has come from belonging to this community. The majority of the essay should, in fact, center around how being part of this group has changed or impacted who you are as a person.

What to avoid:

• Do not discriminate against other communities in your response.
• Try not to talk about your community in broad terms, but instead focus on your place within this community.
• Avoid using the essay as a chance to complain. If you choose to talk about challenges in a certain community, find a way to give your essay a sense of resolution. This can consist even of talking about how you’ve grown as a person or learned how to confront these obstacles in a productive way.

Writing the Essay

Phase 1: ideation.

Highlights of this section:

• Thinking of an idea
• Portraying individuality
• Staying true to yourself
• General tips and tricks

Now that you’re familiar with some of the most common types of essay prompts, let’s dive into the ideation process. Here are some questions that it’s good to ask yourself when you’re just starting out, particularly when the prompt deviates from the more straightforward archetypes above:

• What makes you unique?
• What is your story?
• Is there something you weren’t able to say in your application that you think admissions officers should know?
• Did you mention something earlier in your application that you want to elaborate on?

Remember that your essays, and application in general, should read like a portfolio in which all components are complementary without being redundant. If the application is like a drawing, then the essays should contribute to creating one coherent image without sketching the same line more than once or leaving gaps in the drawing.

Don’t shy away from being quirky! The more you present yourself as your own unique person, the more likely the admissions officer is to remember you. Take the following cases, for instance:

• A football player who scores a winning touchdown in the last five seconds of the game.
• A football player who knits scarves for residents of a retirement home in his free time.

In the first case, telling this story doesn’t do anything to differentiate this football player from others. However, the second story portrays a unique student with two interests the reader might not otherwise have paired together. Individuality is the goal here.

Of course, don’t exaggerate , lie, or pretend to be someone you’re not. In particular, don’t write something just because you think the admissions officer wants to hear it. They have read enough applications to separate the genuine voices from the insincere. As such, your only job is to put your true self on the page!

Here are some other things to keep in mind while brainstorming college essay topics:

• Narratives will always be more successful because they engage the reader emotionally. They are also an easy way to demonstrate how you’ve changed and grown over time.
• If you have already emphasized something in your application, don’t dedicate an essay to it unless can share an entirely new perspective. When in doubt, choose a new topic.
• Your essay doesn’t have to be about something rare and incredible. You don’t have to have started a company or traveled the world to write a solid essay. In fact, some of the strongest essays have taken a simple, perhaps even everyday occurrence, and portrayed it in a beautiful way that shows a unique way of thinking.
• Be sure to answer all aspects of the prompt while still giving the reader insight into who you are. It’s very easy to speak about some topics in third-person or broad terms (example: “What is your idea of success?”). Don’t do this. Instead, find a way to link the prompt to your own life.

Overall, think of the essays as a way to let the admissions officer get to know you on a personal level. Humanize yourself.

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Phase 2: Crafting the Essay

• Show, don’t tell.
• Perfecting the first and last sentence
• What does the essay say about me?

You have likely heard this next tip a hundred times throughout high school, but it’s vital to writing a strong essay: show, don’t tell . The whole point of essays is to give insight into who you are and how you think. Can you effectively do that if you’re merely listing off things that happened? Nope. Let’s take a lot at two examples:

• An example of telling: The cat ran out the door, and I got scared.
• An example of showing: The doorbell rang, accompanied by the creak of the mailbox as the mailman slipped the day’s envelopes inside. I ran downstairs and threw the door open, knowing today was the day I was going to hear back. My excitement made me oblivious, though, and it wasn’t until I saw a blur of dark fur dash through the open door that I realized my mistake.

The second example takes the facts and turns it into a story. It gives the reader a sense of anticipation as well as a character to identify with and root for. That’s what “show, don’t tell” does for your essay.

Now let’s talk about the two most important parts of your essay: the first sentence and the last sentence.

Your first sentence’s job is to hook the reader. Aim for a first sentence that surprises, even slightly jars, the reader to wake them up and get their full focus on your essay. Here are some examples:

• It wasn’t supposed to be blue.
• Was the car meant to sound like that?

In both cases, the writer has intentionally withheld information, providing just enough to leave the reader wanting to know the rest of the story. What isn’t supposed to be blue? What happens next?

As for the last sentence, its job is to resolve the essay, leaving the reader with a sense of peace and finality. Give the reader one last great impression to remember you by. Here’s an example:

“I’ve learned to hold my failures close; not so close that they burden me, per say, but just

close enough that they can guide me as I journey onward.”

This sentence works because it gives the reader a sense that, though the story continues on in the form of the narrator’s ongoing journey, the story on the page has been resolved. It feels peaceful.

Now then, after you’ve completed your first draft, the next thing you want to do is ask yourself the following question : What three things about me can the reader get from reading this essay? If you’re having trouble answering this question, then the essay needs to share more about you. Otherwise, you’re ready for revision!

Phase 3: Revision

• Careless errors
• Staying under the word limit
• Getting a second opinion

You’ve done the hard work. You came up with a brilliant idea and poured your heart and soul into the writing. Now comes the tedious part: revision.

Most importantly, college essays need to be absolutely devoid of grammatical or spelling mistakes . You don’t want to give your admissions officer the impression that you didn’t care enough to proofread, especially after all of your hard work.

Another aspect that tends to frustrate students is the word limit. If you’ve made it under the word limit, great! If not, here are some methods of cutting down.

• Example: In visiting your campus, it occurred to me that the method with which you schedule your classes is ideal because…
• This can be cut down to: The way you schedule your classes is ideal because…
• Most times phrases such as “I think,” “I believe,” “it seems,” and other similar wording is not necessary and simply takes up extra space. Use your judgement, but generally, these phrases get the boot.
• Keep an eye out for the word “that.” This can almost always be cut.
• If you use a long hyphen (—), no space is needed between words. This will bring your word count down. Don’t get too hyphen happy, though!

If the above tips are not enough to get you below the word limit,  you may need to remove entire paragraphs. If a paragraph does not drive the story forward, or is unnecessary in understanding the progression of the story, you may want to remove it.

Once your essay is mistake-free and below the word limit, your next task is to send it to at least three trusted individuals. Ask them the following questions to guide their suggestions:

• Does it make sense?
• Does it sound like me?
• What does it say about me? (Check that this aligns with what you want it to say about you).

Take note of their responses and decide what changes you want to implement. Be receptive, but remember to stay true to yourself and your vision.

Avoiding Pitfalls:

• Avoid discussion of taboo subjects or things that can be perceived as controversial. Everyone is entitled to their own views, but you don’t want to chance saying something controversial that your reader might disagree with.
• Never appear discriminatory in any way. Colleges tend to be vastly left-wing and progressive.
• Don’t turn in work that isn’t your own. When does accepting another person’s edits become plagiarism? If they are rewriting entire sentences in their own words, it is no longer your own work.
• Avoid clichés! It is okay to write about a common experience (like a sports injury or service trip), but only if you have a unique take on them. Don’t write on a popular topic if you will simply describe the same lesson that everyone else learned.
• Don’t write your essay directly into the application text box or it may not save your work. Write it in a separate document and copy and paste it later. Then, double check that the format is correct.

At the end of the day, your essays should just leave the reader thinking: I want to have a conversation with this student. You want to show that you’re an multifaceted, mature person with an interesting story to tell. At CollegeVine, we’re rooting for you all the way—go get writing!

Want help with your college essays to improve your admissions chances? Sign up for your free CollegeVine account and get access to our essay guides and courses. You can also get your essay peer-reviewed and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Film, Television & Digital Media (BA)

How to apply

First-year applicants.

You may apply for admission as a first-year if you meet the following criteria You’re currently in high school. Or, you’ve already graduated from high school, but haven’t yet enrolled in a regular session at a college or university.

For first-years, the Bachelor of Arts in Film and Television is a four-year program consisting primarily of two years of general college studies and two years of major coursework.

Transfer Applicants

You may apply for admission as a transfer if you meet the following criteria: You graduated from high school and completed college-level coursework in a regular session at any college or university since your graduation. Note: You cannot disregard your college record and apply as a freshman. We do not accept applications from students seeking second baccalaureate degrees. For transfer students, the Bachelor of Arts in Film and Television is a two-year program for those who have completed two years of general college studies.

Current UCLA Students | Change of Major

For current UCLA students, the Bachelor of Arts in Film and Television is a two-year program for those who have completed two years of general college studies. The Department of Film, Television and Digital Media (FTVDM) admits Change of Major students only once each year for the Fall Quarter.

How to Apply

Choose applicant Type to Learn how to apply

APPLICATION WORKSHEET AND INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO APPLY

October 1 – November 30, 2023

UC Application

Complete the University of California Application for Undergraduate Admission .

• For more information about UCLA Undergraduate Admissions, go to: http://www.admission.ucla.edu/

Deadline: December 7, 2023

Supplemental Application

Complete the Undergraduate FTVDM Supplemental Application .

• Note: This is not the same login used for the UC Application.

Complete all required information.

• Indicate areas of interest within Film.
• Personal Essay (2 page max)
• Life Challenge Essay (2 page max)
• Critical Essay (3 page max)
• Creative Writing (5 page max)
• Enter the names and emails of all recommenders into the Undergraduate FTVDM Supplemental Application.
• Upload unofficial copies of all transcripts.

By the time of entrance, Freshman Applicants must:

• Have at least a 3.0 GPA (CA Residents) or 3.4 GPA (Non-CA Residents)
• Satisfy the University of California’s General Freshman Admission Requirements.

October 1–November 30, 2023

• For more information on UCLA Undergraduate Admissions, go to: http://www.admission.ucla.edu/

Deadline: January 11, 2024

• Must be completed ONLINE by January 11, 2024 .
• Select the GE Plan completed. For information on the TFT General Education requirements, visit http://www.tft.ucla.edu/ge .
• Personal Essay (2 page max).
• Critical Essay (3 page max).
• Creative Writing (5 page max).
• Enter the names and emails of all recommenders into the film Undergraduate Supplemental Application
• Unofficial copies of all transcripts.

By the time of entrance, Transfer Applicants must:

Have at least a 3.2 GPA.

Satisfy the University of California’s General Transfer Admission Requirements .

Complete a minimum of 60 semester/90 quarter units of transferable work.

Complete ONE of the following General Education Plans:

UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television GE Requirements .

Another UC campus GE Requirements.

Intersegmental General Education Transfer Curriculum (IGETC) at a California Community College.

Change of Major

December 9, 2023 – January 11, 2024

Online Application

Complete the Undergraduate Program Change Petition

• Email [email protected] to receive a Fee Waiver Code.
• Completed Program Change Petition
• Life Challenge Essay (2 page max).
• Submit Unofficial UCLA Transcripts.

By the time of entrance, Change of Major Applicants must:

Enroll at UCLA in Winter & Spring Quarters of the current academic year.

Complete a minimum of 90 and not exceed a maximum of 135 quarter units of coursework.

Another UCLA Major GE Requirements.

Why Does UCLA Ask For Supplemental Essays?

Introduction.

The University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) is one of the most prestigious universities in the United States, and it is no surprise that they require supplemental essays for admission. Supplemental essays are an important part of the admissions process, as they provide the admissions committee with an opportunity to gain a better understanding of the applicant, their motivations, and their interests. In this post, we will explore why UCLA requires supplemental essays, and how they can help the admissions committee make a more informed decision.

What are Supplemental Essays?

Supplemental essays are short, focused essays that supplement the main essay of an application. They allow the admissions committee to gain insight into the applicant’s motivations, interests, and values, and to gain a better understanding of the student’s personality and character. Supplemental essays can also be used to explain any gaps in the applicant’s academic record, or to provide additional information that may be important to the admissions committee.

Why Does UCLA Ask for Supplemental Essays?

UCLA requires supplemental essays for several reasons. First, supplemental essays allow the admissions committee to gain a better understanding of the applicant’s motivations, interests, and values. By understanding the applicant’s motivations and interests, the admissions committee can make a more informed decision about whether the applicant is a good fit for the university.

Second, supplemental essays can help the admissions committee to gain insight into the applicant’s personality and character. By understanding the applicant’s values, the admissions committee can gain a better sense of the type of person the applicant is, and how they might contribute to the university community.

Third, supplemental essays can be used to explain any gaps in the applicant’s academic record. If the applicant has any gaps in their academic record, such as a low GPA or a lack of extracurricular activities, the supplemental essay can be used to explain why.

Finally, supplemental essays can provide the admissions committee with additional information that may be important to their decision. For example, an applicant may use the supplemental essay to explain why they are interested in a particular program or field of study, or to explain why they chose to apply to UCLA.

How to Use Supplemental Essays to Your Advantage

When writing supplemental essays, it is important to keep in mind that the admissions committee is looking for insight into the applicant’s motivations, interests, and values. Therefore, it is important to be honest and authentic in your writing, and to provide the admissions committee with an accurate representation of who you are and why you are applying to UCLA.

It is also important to keep in mind that supplemental essays should be used to supplement, not replace, the main essay of the application. Therefore, it is important to make sure that the supplemental essay does not repeat information that is already included in the main essay.

Finally, it is important to make sure that the supplemental essay is well-written and organized. Make sure to proofread your essay for grammar and spelling errors, and make sure to follow any formatting requirements set by the admissions committee.

In conclusion, UCLA requires supplemental essays for several reasons. Supplemental essays allow the admissions committee to gain insight into the applicant’s motivations, interests, and values, and to gain a better understanding of the applicant’s personality and character. Supplemental essays can also be used to explain any gaps in the applicant’s academic record, or to provide additional information that may be important to the admissions committee. When writing supplemental essays, it is important to be honest and authentic in your writing, and to make sure that the essay is well-written and organized.”

UCLA Bruin Blog

Your sneak peek into UCLA and the Bruin Family

How My Minor Changed my Academic Experience  

Dear UCLA Bruin Community (New & Old),  

My name is Claire, and I am a third year student at UCLA originally from Huntington Beach, California. From enriching academics to meaningful extracurricular experiences, this university has truly cultivated an incredible undergraduate experience. I’m so excited to share a bit more about my academic journey with you all!  

As goes the typical trajectory of a young student in Southern California, my admiration of UCLA only grew as I did. Despite having had this fully fledged “Bruin since Birth” degree of loyalty programmed into my brain, the surreal shock of opening my acceptance letter in 2021 was one of anxious excitement. I immediately felt the weight of collegiate decision-making: the fear that every choice would somehow irrevocably alter my adulthood. Although I had always loved learning, my passion was vastly split between the sciences and the humanities, and I felt daunted by the task of choosing a major.  

The early chapters of my Bruin story felt defined by a lack of direction and a fear of failed adaptation. As soon as I stepped foot on this beautiful campus, my panic began to ease and I slowly felt more at home within my own identity, interests, and relationships. Discovering the Human Biology and Society Major (B.S.) allowed me to integrate my academic goals in a way I never knew was possible. The H.B.S. major is uniquely fitted to my academic pursuits in that it allows me to explore complex topics in biology, social anthropology, and public health, while making frequent use of critical reading and analytical writing practices. While I enjoy the problem solving and complexity of my S.T.E.M. (Science, Technology, Engineering, & Math) classes, these topics feel truly meaningful to me when I am able to dissect and debate them.  

During my Winter Quarter of my freshman year here at UCLA, I sat through an online seminar entitled “Pre-Med & Pre-Health: Building your UCLA Journey.” Although I felt very unsure about committing to any potential career journey just yet, I wanted to get all the information I could about how to best prepare for my future. As I frantically scribbled down notes about each prerequisite the presenter listed off, I was shocked to learn that I would need to take 3 quarters (or 1 full year) of English Composition coursework in order to be eligible to apply to medical school. It was through research surrounding the different writing courses UCLA offers that I discovered the Professional Writing Minor.  

The Professional Writing Minor (P.W. Minor) is a unique program that allows students to explore the role that effective communication skills can play in their professional discipline of interest. Each student enrolled in the P.W. Minor is required to take one core class, which includes writing for Digital Writing and Web Literacy, Business and Entrepreneurship, Science and Technology, Nonprofits and Public Engagement, and Arts and Entertainment. This wide range of professional interests means that there is a pathway for any student looking to engage more in writing during their undergraduate career.  

In addition to these core classes, the P.W. Minor offers a variety of interesting electives to help students expand their writing repertoire. These electives range from Creative Nonfiction and Travel Writing to Specialized Writing: Law and Politics. No matter your professional interests, this program is an incredible way to become better suited for life post-graduation. Moreover, students have the opportunity to design their own capstone project to present at Undergraduate conferences.  

Throughout my time at UCLA, a love for writing has been the common thread which has woven together my academic, pre-professional, and extracurricular endeavors. Planning to work in the human healthcare sector, I have gained further instruction in writing for nonprofit organizations, scientific audiences, and research dissertations– skills I never would have developed in science courses alone. With its small class sizes and incredibly caring faculty, my Professional Writing classes have undoubtedly been some of my favorite courses over the past 3 years– I’ve been able to develop personalized mentor-relationships with professors, attain resume help, and create internship connections for myself.  

Taking advantage of the vast opportunities available on UCLA’s campus have helped me understand that it is okay to lack a bit of direction, and becoming close with our overwhelmingly wonderful and diverse university population has truly taught me what it means to be passionate in the most well-rounded sense of the word. UCLA is a place where confidence blossoms in the face of uncertainty.  

Claire  

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