she not do her homework

do in English – auxiliary and main verb

Is do an auxiliary or a main verb.

The verb do can be an auxiliary verb or a main verb in English.

1. do as a main verb

1.1. do as a main verb in simple present (do, does, don't, doesn't), 1.2. do as a main verb in simple past (did, didn't), 1.3. do as a main verb – past participle (done), 1.4. do as a main verb (present progressive, gerund, present participle) – (doing), 2. do as an auxiliary, 2.1. do as an auxiliary in negations in the simple present.

I do n't do my homework in the evenings.*

2.2. do as an auxiliary in negations in the Simple Past

I did n't do my homework yesterday evening.**

2.3. do as an auxiliary in quesions in the Simple Present

Do you like rugby? – Does he like rugby?

2.4. do as an auxiliary in quesions in the Simple Past

Did you see Peggy yesterday? When did you get up this morning?

2.5. do with the negative imparative

Do n't sing under the shower.

* Here we use do in the negative sentence as an auxiliary and do as a main verb .

** Here we use did in the negative sentence as an auxiliary and do as a main verb .

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Grammar: When to Use Do, Does, and Did

3-minute read

• 12th August 2022

Verbs are essential to creating complete sentences, as they help us express physical actions ( She jumped in the puddle) , mental actions ( He thought about puppies) , and states of being ( I am hungry) .

There are several types of verbs that can each be written in different tenses, so they can be tricky to work with, especially if English isn’t your first language . We’ve put together a guide to help you use one of the most common verbs, do , in your writing . Read on below to learn more!

Action Verbs

As the name suggests, action verbs are used to express actions completed by the subject of a sentence. The base verb do is conjugated according to the tense:

1. Present Tense

In the present tense, do takes the form do or does, depending on the subject:

Consider the following examples:

We do our homework every night.

   She does her homework every night.

2. Past Tense

In the simple past tense , the base verb do takes the form did with all subjects:

   We did our homework last night.

   She did her homework last night.

Auxiliary Verbs

Auxiliary , or helping verbs, are used with another base verb to create negative sentences, questions, or add emphasis. Here’s how do should be used as an auxiliary verb:

1. Negative Sentences

Following the same subject–verb pairings introduced above, we combine the auxiliaries do , does , and did with the adverb not to create negative sentences:

   We do not do our homework every night.

   She did not do her homework last night.

Note that we can combine the auxiliary and the adverb to create the contractions don’t , doesn’t , and didn’t . You simply remove the space between the two words and replace the letter o in not with an apostrophe (’).

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Contractions are more common in conversations and informal writing and typically shouldn’t be used in formal writing (e.g., academic or business).

2. Questions

To create questions, the auxiliary is combined with the infinitive of another verb in this way: auxiliary verb + subject + infinitive verb .

●  Simple present questions:

Do they sell children’s books?

Does he speak English?

Note that the third person verb speaks isn’t spelled with the s when paired with the auxiliary to form a question.

●  Simple past questions:

Did you buy anything at the bookstore?

Did he learn how to speak English?

Note that did indicates the past tense, so the main verbs don’t also take the past tense (i.e., bought and learned ).

3. Emphasis

In positive sentences, we can also combine the auxiliaries do , does , and did with the main verb to emphasize that something is true:

   We do sell children’s books.

   He did learn to speak English.

Try saying these sentences aloud and adding emphasis to the auxiliary terms with your tone. It adds a dramatic effect!

Proofreading and Editing Services

Hopefully, this guide will help you feel more confident when using different forms of the verb do in your writing. If you’re still learning or want to be sure your work is error-free, our editors are ready to help. You can upload a free trial document today to learn more!

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Homework Struggles May Not Be a Behavior Problem

Exploring some options to understand and help..

Posted August 2, 2022 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

• Mental health challenges and neurodevelopmental differences directly affect children's ability to do homework.
• Understanding what difficulties are getting in the way—beyond the usual explanation of a behavior problem—is key.
• Sleep and mental health needs can take priority over homework completion.

Chelsea was in 10th grade the first time I told her directly to stop doing her homework and get some sleep. I had been working with her since she was in middle school, treating her anxiety disorder. She deeply feared disappointing anyone—especially her teachers—and spent hours trying to finish homework perfectly. The more tired and anxious she got, the harder it got for her to finish the assignments.

One night Chelsea called me in despair, feeling hopeless. She was exhausted and couldn’t think straight. She felt like a failure and that she was a burden to everyone because she couldn’t finish her homework.

She was shocked when I told her that my prescription for her was to go to sleep now—not to figure out how to finish her work. I told her to leave her homework incomplete and go to sleep. We briefly discussed how we would figure it out the next day, with her mom and her teachers. At that moment, it clicked for her that it was futile to keep working—because nothing was getting done.

This was an inflection point for her awareness of when she was emotionally over-cooked and when she needed to stop and take a break or get some sleep. We repeated versions of this phone call several times over the course of her high school and college years, but she got much better at being able to do this for herself most of the time.

When Mental Health Symptoms Interfere with Homework

Kids with mental health or neurodevelopmental challenges often struggle mightily with homework. Challenges can come up in every step of the homework process, including, but not limited to:

• Remembering and tracking assignments and materials
• Getting the mental energy/organization to start homework
• Filtering distractions enough to persist with assignments
• Understanding unspoken or implied parts of the homework
• Remembering to bring finished homework to class
• Being in class long enough to know the material
• Tolerating the fear of not knowing or failing
• Not giving up the assignment because of a panic attack
• Tolerating frustration—such as not understanding—without emotional dysregulation
• Being able to ask for help—from a peer or a teacher and not being afraid to reach out

This list is hardly comprehensive. ADHD , autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety , generalized anxiety, panic disorder, depression , dysregulation, and a range of other neurodevelopmental and mental health challenges cause numerous learning differences and symptoms that can specifically and frequently interfere with getting homework done.

The Usual Diagnosis for Homework Problems is "Not Trying Hard Enough"

Unfortunately, when kids frequently struggle to meet homework demands, teachers and parents typically default to one explanation of the problem: The child is making a choice not to do their homework. That is the default “diagnosis” in classrooms and living rooms. And once this framework is drawn, the student is often seen as not trying hard enough, disrespectful, manipulative, or just plain lazy.

The fundamental disconnect here is that the diagnosis of homework struggles as a behavioral choice is, in fact, only one explanation, while there are so many other diagnoses and differences that impair children's ability to consistently do their homework. If we are trying to create solutions based on only one understanding of the problem, the solutions will not work. More devastatingly, the wrong solutions can worsen the child’s mental health and their long-term engagement with school and learning.

To be clear, we aren’t talking about children who sometimes struggle with or skip homework—kids who can change and adapt their behaviors and patterns in response to the outcomes of that struggle. For this discussion, we are talking about children with mental health and/or neurodevelopmental symptoms and challenges that create chronic difficulties with meeting homework demands.

How Can You Help a Child Who Struggles with Homework?

How can you help your child who is struggling to meet homework demands because of their ADHD, depression, anxiety, OCD , school avoidance, or any other neurodevelopmental or mental health differences? Let’s break this down into two broad areas—things you can do at home, and things you can do in communication with the school.

Helping at Home

The following suggestions for managing school demands at home can feel counterintuitive to parents—because we usually focus on helping our kids to complete their tasks. But mental health needs jump the line ahead of task completion. And starting at home will be key to developing an idea of what needs to change at school.

• Set an end time in the evening after which no more homework will be attempted. Kids need time to decompress and they need sleep—and pushing homework too close to or past bedtime doesn’t serve their educational needs. Even if your child hasn’t been able to approach the homework at all, even if they have avoided and argued the whole evening, it is still important for everyone to have a predictable time to shut down the whole process.
• If there are arguments almost every night about homework, if your child isn’t starting homework or finishing it, reframe it from failure into information. It’s data to put into problem-solving. We need to consider other possible explanations besides “behavioral choice” when trying to understand the problem and create effective solutions. What problems are getting in the way of our child’s meeting homework demands that their peers are meeting most of the time?
• Try not to argue about homework. If you can check your own anxiety and frustration, it can be more productive to ally with your child and be curious with them. Kids usually can’t tell you a clear “why” but maybe they can tell you how they are feeling and what they are thinking. And if your child can’t talk about it or just keeps saying “I don't know,” try not to push. Come back another time. Rushing, forcing, yelling, and threatening will predictably not help kids do homework.

Helping at School

The second area to explore when your neurodiverse child struggles frequently with homework is building communication and connections with school and teachers. Some places to focus on include the following.

• Label your child’s diagnoses and break down specific symptoms for the teachers and school team. Nonjudgmental, but specific language is essential for teachers to understand your child’s struggles. Breaking their challenges down into the problems specific to homework can help with building solutions. As your child gets older, help them identify their difficulties and communicate them to teachers.
• Let teachers and the school team know that your child’s mental health needs—including sleep—take priority over finishing homework. If your child is always struggling to complete homework and get enough sleep, or if completing homework is leading to emotional meltdowns every night, adjusting their homework demands will be more successful than continuing to push them into sleep deprivation or meltdowns.
• Request a child study team evaluation to determine if your child qualifies for services under special education law such as an IEP, or accommodations through section 504—and be sure that homework adjustments are included in any plan. Or if such a plan is already in place, be clear that modification of homework expectations needs to be part of it.

The Long-Term Story

I still work with Chelsea and she recently mentioned how those conversations so many years ago are still part of how she approaches work tasks or other demands that are spiking her anxiety when she finds herself in a vortex of distress. She stops what she is doing and prioritizes reducing her anxiety—whether it’s a break during her day or an ending to the task for the evening. She sees that this is crucial to managing her anxiety in her life and still succeeding at what she is doing.

Task completion at all costs is not a solution for kids with emotional needs. Her story (and the story of many of my patients) make this crystal clear.

Candida Fink, M.D. , is board certified in child/adolescent and general psychiatry. She practices in New York and has co-authored two books— The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child and Bipolar Disorder for Dummies.

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What to Do When Teens Refuse to Do Homework or Fail a Class

Some teens are naturally motivated and others are not. Some teens are able to succeed at school with ease, and others struggle. But, what is a parent to do when their teen simply refuses to do homework or is suddenly failing a class? Experts recommend parents work to discover the root cause and creatively problem solve with their teen.

Most of the time, parents feel a little shocked when they are confronted with a school problem. Maybe your teen has outright refused to do any work, or maybe you received a notice from the teacher, or maybe you got a disappointing surprise on their interim report. Whatever has brought the problem to your attention, it’s important to take a deep breath and work to understand the issue. The first step is to ask your teen what is going on. Notice the word ask. That means you don’t start the conversation with accusations, yelling, blame, or threats. Instead, enter into the conversation with a sense of curiosity to see if you can help uncover the possible reasons why he or she isn’t getting their homework done or passing the class.

Determine the Root Cause

If your teen refuses to do homework or is failing a class, don’t jump to the conclusion that he is simply acting out of defiance. More than likely, there is some underlying problem(s) contributing to the issue. For example, stress, bullying issues at school, classes that are too advanced, test-taking anxiety, too many absences, learning disabilities, and depression are all possible problems that can contribute to behavior changes. Remember that when high school students fall behind in their classes for any reason (absence, material too difficult, bad test-taking day), catching up can be quite difficult. When grades begin to plummet, many teens give up. Talk to them about their struggles. Ask them: “How is your current situation different from how you would like it to be?”

Separately, parents should talk to the teen’s teacher to obtain their thoughts and perspectives. Again, parents should enter such a conversation with an open mind and a willingness to listen to the teacher’s opinion.

Develop Solutions with Your Teen

Once parents feel like they understand the problem, they should sit down with their teenager and brainstorm a list of possible solutions to the given situation. They can ask their son or daughter what they have already tried before (whether it’s in this situation or in similar situations in the past), and what outcomes they experienced. Ask them to predict likely consequences, both positive and negative, for each possibility. Teens should be encouraged to not limit themselves, but to come up with as many options as possible, even if they seem unrealistic, because this creative process may help generate even better solutions. Once you have made a list of options together, help your teen narrow them down. For each option, consider how realistic it is, how likely the teen would be to implement it, and the potential obstacles.

Sometimes, homework or grade battles simply need a creative solution. For example, some teens are willing to stay after school to complete their homework, so long as they don’t have to do work at home. Other teens need some control over when they are going to do their work, so they may need to unwind for an hour after school and then do their work. Teens who are failing due to a learning disability or missed schoolwork, might be willing to work with a tutor. Parents should offer their own ideas, but MUST be willing to try their teen’s suggestions and ideas. The process of identifying the problem and developing the solution will empower your child, give them a sense of ownership in fixing the problem, and will ultimately give them confidence when they overcome the issue.

Additionally, parents should help their teen establish healthy study habits that will allow him/her to be successful. Some good study habits include: creating a designated homework time and space, removing distractions including electronics, being available to help your teen when they have a problem or get frustrated, teaching them time management skills, and helping them to get organized. You can learn more from our previous blog, Good Study Habits in Teens .

Establish Expectations and Rules

In general, parents should establish rules and expectations about homework based on their individual child. For example, if you have a teen who is fairly responsible with his homework most of the time, it may be appropriate to allow him/her to face the natural consequences of a bad grade or detention when he/she doesn’t do their work.

However, if you have a child who is refusing to do homework or is failing, and you’ve done the previous steps to try to find the problem and have discovered there is no underlying problem, then rules are warranted. Establish appropriate expectations, and more importantly, develop rewards for following them and consequences for not. Then you must follow through on your plan. For example, create small measurable goals. If your teen puts in a lot of effort for 30 minutes, then he gets a 10-minute break. Or consequently, confiscate his electronics each day until he completes his homework. Phones, tablets and other electronics are a privilege, and he cannot earn them if he chooses to not do his work.

Final Thoughts…

Experts say that the best thing parents can do when faced with school problem is stay calm and open-minded. Nagging and lecturing – although tempting parenting techniques – are never effective and usually harm your relationship. Bribing your teen to get work done can sometimes work in the short run, but quickly loses its appeal to your child and can actually instill a “what’s in it for me” attitude. Additionally, threatening a consequence that you will never follow-through on will only reinforce the negative behavior. Instead, follow the tips above to discover the problem and creatively solve it with your teen. Not only will it truly address the problem, it will also teach your teen how to address future challenges.

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38 comments.

I’m 15 and one problem I have with school is just the way it prevents me from living life. I have so many plans but all of them have to wait so long to accomplish. It just feels like school is holding me back and having to go through it is pointless until I get to the degrees I actually want. I want to get a degree in business and marketing and become an entrepreneur but to do so I’ll have to go through lots of school that, while it may be useful in some way, doesn’t feel useful at all right now. I could just drop out of course since you don’t need a degree to become an entrepreneur, but I want the business knowledge to help me succeed. Not to mention the fact that becoming a dropout can have bad effects on your social life and the way people think of you. I could start it while in school, but finding the time to do that with all the schooling, homework, and extracurricular activities I have would be a nightmare. It causes lots of internal conflict and drains all motivation to do school.

Im in the same boat for the 2nd year in a row. We did counseling, intervention school program for 6months straight, tutoring and he still fail math and science. Everyone says he’s lazy and has no deficiencies. This year he’s still failing science english and math. Only had an A in PE. He goes to school everyday and nothing is working. At what point do I say oh well you don’t care so I won’t either. There’s only 5 1/2 years left until he’s 18 and I feel time is running out.

I have a grandson in same situation. The best I can see is a junior carpenter course or business course.

My 17 year old son is unmotivated, is not doing his homework and as a consequence he is failing his classes, most of the time he don’t want to go to the school. he is taking 5 AP classes as his own decision but is not doing the work that those classes required and refused to drop them. I don’t know what to do, he wants to get a job and i am supporting him in apply, but i want him to finish school but he is not doing anything. I spoke with the school counselor and we are considering drop some of his classes but i don’t want my son feels more depressed if we do it. I trying to be patient and talk to him but he is not motivated about school at all. Please help

I can say “ditto” to almost everything you’ve mentioned. We have a 17 year old son. He’s also taking AP courses but has refused to do any hw since about October and is failing several classes badly. The last 1.5 years have been out of character in that he normally worked hard and wouldn’t quit on things – over time we’ve seen him slowly quit on one thing after another (and not just in academics). Now it’s piling up.

When his parents ask, a counselor asks, the pastor asks, or his teachers ask “why aren’t you doing hw?” the answer is always “i don’t know…” and then some circular reasoning about things that aren’t really relevant. He does very well on almost all the exams but it’s not enough in highschool if you don’t do any HW (or sometimes fail to turn in quizzes).

It’s quite sad, he has no happiness in anything or desire for anything except to watch youtubers talking about random inconsequential things. If we take away the computer he sits in a dark room with lights off telling us he can waste time in other ways besides watching youtube if needed. When we ask serious questions respectfully he tears up but then quickly puts on a blank face.

We’ve met with professional counselors but so far haven’t identified the root issue. He’s not clinically depressed. Like you we don’t want to demoralize him further by pulling him out of the things he’s doing in school but soon we may have a highly gifted kid who fails a year of highschool and next year will probably not be any better at this rate.

My brother is the same way! very bright kid, but refuses to do any homework. Would rather play games and watch videos. He is also becoming quite rude to his teachers, we haven’t figure out the root issue. At this point, we are just letting him fail, maybe he needs to learn the hard way..

Our son is just like yours; has always been considered exceptional, showing great potential, but now completely uncaring about anything and unmotivated to do any schoolwork. Since online learning became mandatory he will log into his classes then do other things. As a result he’s failing 3 classes and barely passing 2 others. This started the second part of his junior year and has continued this year. It’s gone from thinking about what college to try for to blowing off the SAT test, failing classes and now possibly not graduating High School. (This from a kid who took the PSAT’s in 10th grade and scored 1360 without studying). We understand that there may be some underlying issue and reason for his lack of motivation so we approach it in a caring way (most days). He’s not defiant, just completely unmotivated. I think back to the day years ago when the schools all announced they would be switching entirely to computer learning. That essentially means without internet kids cannot due schoolwork. How do you discipline or have structure with school work when kids have all these temptations and distractions right in front of them to click on? If book learning was still in place simply turning off the internet and allowing it for certain times as a reward would be ideal. Instead we have a nation of distracted, unfocused, addicted to electronics young people. We took a step back from expectations and now are focused more on his emotional and physical well being. Just getting him to graduate is the aim, then maybe encouraging him to get a job after graduating. If there was a life course for kids who need a sense of direction in a supportive, encouraging way I would like to know about it.

I get it. I am in the same position as your son right now. I am in my sophomore year of high school and I can’t really explain it but when second semester started, I was so unmotivated to do anything. Of course, I’ve never been inspired or motivated for school, but I’ve never been a bad student either. Well, at least not until I started completely ignoring my work and letting it pile up so bad that I have begun to lose all hope. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve completely lost all motivation and initiative to do my work. Since this quarantine, everything has gotten worse. I have all F’s except for in art class. In art, I believe I still have a B or at least a C. However, I don’t check anymore because I am scared to look at my grades as it reminds me of my constant failure. Of course, I take full responsibility for my wrongful actions. I know what I’m doing right now is not going to get me anywhere but held back in my academics, but for some reason I keep diving head first into this endless black hole of failure and despondency. It started out as procrastination. I’ve never had any enthusiasm about school work and have always been a procrastinator, even in middle school, but since going into high school…it’s gotten MUCH worse. I find myself day-dreaming and fantasizing about this “perfect” productive life and thinking a lot about the future while not taking recognition of the fact that I am so far behind, I may not have a future. Basically, I have a very active imagination and can sometimes channel this habit of mine to idealize my life and future- it’s almost like I’m living in this made up world of assurance and protection for myself where everything is going to work out the way I want it to unlike in reality. I have always been a very sensitive and easily downed child, so when I entered into high school pessimistic thoughts would flood my mind over and over again (more than usual). I don’t claim to have a problem (mentally) nor have I ever been diagnosed with anything (although I’ve never been checked for anything since I don’t normally express my stress and depression to people- not even family, not that they’d take much notice anyway). I also have no solution to this reoccurring problem of mine yet. However, the one thing I’d recommend you do is let your son get a job. As ridiculous as it sounds to let him get a job when he can’t even focus on school (which I do agree that education is more important than a job, in some cases), I think a job might make him less obstinate or noncompliant, as well as teach him some responsibility. It can also help if he is going through something right now like early senioritis/senioritis and/or slight or mild depression and stress. I don’t know exactly how to explain this, but when I think about getting a job I think about being able to provide for myself and getting myself better things and the proper stuff I need to stay motivated and consistent. If you’re son is anything like me, he will feel like this too. He may, however, already have everything he needs (or that you think he needs), but being able to work hard for and earn our own money makes us feel more like we’ve got everything together. Besides, there are some things that kids don’t want to bother their parents for, so we like to take it upon ourselves and try to figure it out for ourselves. This is all a part of growing up. A job may help with this. With a job, he would learn responsibility. Also, since he would be getting an immediate reaction out of a job (i.e. money and with that money comes self-gifting/purchasing something for himself with his hard earned money, which can prove to be quite awarding for a teenager or really anyone), he might appreciate the achievements he makes more rather than if he were getting a reward/reaction in school (i.e. a “good job” or a temporarily good feeling, which may not always be enough if we’re being honest here). I would also recommend getting him a trustworthy guide/ or guidance counselor that can be with him every step of the way to make sure he completes all of his work until he is ready to do that for himself. I know he is in high school and shouldn’t need someone like that but sometimes we need a bit of a push, so having someone to sit there and help him with homework/ monitor or guide him as he finished everything will help. He may be interested in other things as well- things that his school does not provide. So, I would personally recommend getting him more interested in better hobbies (not too much as sports since that can just add to the stress) but finding things that he is passionate in and allowing himself to do those things. However, this can be tricky because if his passion is something like YouTube, gaming, etc., he may confuse this with meaning he should submerse himself in these tricky habits and that will distract him from school/work even more. So, I’d say if he were interested in something like YouTube get him to do things relative to that activity, but also relative to school (e.g. watching videos on self-improvement/educational videos and including YouTube videos daily into his routine to help with his homework or just giving him a temporary break every now and then as a reward). I know this may seem kind of like babying him, but I’m saying to maybe just follow these simple steps as to monitor and guide him and before you know it, he’s developing these better habits on his own w/o help from anyone! Please take my advice because, being in the same situation right now as your son, I would love for my parents to show this much concern and initiative for me! Also, last but not least, let him know that in order to get where he want to be in life (goals or paths they want to follow in order to be truly happy) they have to get it over with and finish high school first. That way when the time comes and they graduate, they can take whatever necessary steps they need in order to get to where they need/want to be and hopefully by then they will have a better mindset for their future! He could also be going through something or experiencing a lot of stress, so please continue to be there for him and talk to him! As well as just let him know that you’re there whenever he needs you and be more approachable by (with all due respect) nagging less and exhibiting/practicing more communication and reasoning/understanding with your child!

p.s. invest in an agenda/journal that they can keep up with! they can write lingering deep and personal thoughts and/or use it as a planner to stay ahead of the game and follow along with school/work better.

Olivia – THANK YOU!!!! You have no idea how much your post helped me! My son is 13 and just started with the missing assignments this year. At first, I reacted with anger, but then I could see in his eyes that he was hurting, so I changed my tone and started help him instead. According to your post, I am heading in the right direction with him. Today, we sat down together and went through his work to see what he has coming up and he wrote it all in his new planner. He was way more responsive to that than the yelling.

Again, Thank you so much for taking the time to help parents…that is quite noble. Oh, and BTW, your writing is awesome – good grammar and well written. I have never seen such writing from a teenager before. Way to go!

Hi Olivia thanks for helping us. But my child, she would come home and goes into her room and be on her phone and then lie and says she is doing her homework and that its completed and submited. Then I will get an email from her teachers. Everyday. She is a sophomore and I have try to be good and nice to her but I can’t do it no more.

Olivia I love your post and just like Lisa said your a great writer and I think you would be great as a writer someday. Keep up the good work with your writing because I see you going places just go with it. Find something you love to do that will help motivate you to succeed in all your classes. Take care my dear!

I have an 11yr old son in his 1st yr of middle school. He’s failing 3 classes and C’s and D’s in the other classes. He’s been in therapy he is in intervention at school and has a whole team working to get him back on track and he’s getting worst. He lies about everything. He doesn’t do his classwork, his h.w., fails test, loses all his school supplies and refuses to go to after school tutoring. Everything has been taken away from him and he doesn’t care. He just started acting up in class and he blamed it on the other kids and the teacher. I don’t know what to do. Professionals tell me there’s no learning disability or ADD or ADHD. I’m doing everything what is left to do!?!?

You are doing a great job! You have gotten him professional help in therapy and are working with the school. Those are the most important things, and I commend you in taking those important steps. This type of situation is not fixed quickly. The therapy will take time, but don’t stop. In addition, every child is different, so there is no one right or wrong way to help them. I encourage you to read a couple of other articles that might offer you some ideas:

For dealing with an unmotivated teen: https://middleearthnj.wordpress.com/2013/07/15/when-your-teen-lacks-direction/ For dealing with a teen who lies: https://middleearthnj.wordpress.com/2010/07/22/teens-and-lying/

There is a root cause to your son’s behavior, and it will take time to discover it. For example, some teens feel they are protecting themselves from failure by not caring or committing to anything. Other teens are so overwhelmed by stress, they withdraw. Others become so focused on their peers, their only motivation is to enhance their “image.” Your son’s therapist will be vital in discovering the root cause. And if that therapist doesn’t seem to be able to determine the root cause, then don’t hesitate to try another one. Your son and the therapist have to “click” for any progress to be made.

Parenting is such a difficult job, but I encourage you to take one day at a time and look for the positive qualities in your son that you can genuinely praise – that will make both of you feel better. Best of luck!

Jaz, Please tell me you have found something that has helped. I could have written this word-for-word myself right down to the age, grade and excuses. I am feeling soo helpless and frustrated at this point.

I have a 14 and a 13 year old they refused to do work for the longest time I’m a step-mom its been difficult we took away everything (even non electronics) all they had was school work and chores. So now they are home schooled and they have finally started doing chores and a little more homework (yes they do fight but a lot less. Our 8 year old does everything she needs to do. The oldest still refuses to do math and the 13 year old has been rude because he doesn’t want to do anything still but he does it. Just put your foot down.

I have a 17 year old son is getting almost all F in high school. I don’t see him do homework and he doesn’t seem to care. he mention something about joining the marines but nowdoesn’t seem interested. He spent a lot time with friend that are good influence . I cannot force him to do anything . At first I took everything away and still nothing change. He does chores once in awhile. I am alone working two jobs. with six children to raise.

I have a 15 year old daughter, she has been failing school since 6th grade. By the end of the year the teachers enter a grade just high enough to pass her. I have tried everything that I can think of. Read every thing I can get my hands on and tried it all. Nothing works. She has lost all electronics, been grounded and she is in therapy. I am so stressed out over her that I tend to get a bit mean sometimes ( not a good thing and it makes me feel bad ) I am tired at this point and giving up. SHE JUST DOES NOT CARE!!

This is definitely a difficult issue for many parents! You are not alone! When situations get really tough, and the parents have tried all the traditional approaches, it’s often time to get outside help. A family therapist or a local Family Crisis Intervention Unit can work with both the parents and the teen to find a resolution. There is no easy solution, but with patience and professional guidance, it is possible to get to a better place!

I am not alone 🙁

My son is 15 years old. We have enrolled him in the on-campus ROTC program as well as contacted the counselors and all teachers. He is even going to tutoring three times a week after school. He still seems to have no interest in studying or doing his homework. I have addressed all the issues that I think you may have. I have questioned him grounded him and have taken away All Electronics indefinitely. What do you do if this problem has been an ongoing problem since the beginning of school? He has even threatened to quit school. My problem is that I’m the only one that seems to care about his grades. His blatant disregard for his grades is causing me stress and not him. I feel for all parents going through this situation because we can care all day long but until he cares nothing will change

I’m so sorry that you are going through this! Nothing is more difficult than wanting the best for your child, but watching them throw it away. I know you feel helpless, stressed and frustrated. You are not alone – many parents go through this difficulty! Unfortunately, there is no easy solution or perfect answer – every situation and every person is different. However, we highly recommend that you read our previous blog, https://middleearthnj.wordpress.com/2012/02/25/motivating-a-teen-to-change-destructive-behaviors/ because it addresses many of these issues you are talking about. We also always encourage families in these situations to seek out family counseling. Sometimes an outside observer can offer ideas that we never think of ourselves! We wish you the very best of luck!

I am going through the same exact thing. My son is almost 13. The feeling of hopelessness is setting in so fast for me. Like your situation, he doesn’t seem to care whatsoever about failing. I almost wish there was a root cause i can identify with other than “I hate school work”, like a bullying problem, or depression, etc.

We have done all of the above. no results. Its so heart-breaking. The last and only thing he LOVES to do and looks forward to is hockey and we finally took that away last night.

He isn’t a disrespectful kid, he doesn’t act out, he loves to hang out with the family and enjoys having conversations on politics, history and current events. Just hates school work.

Since you posted this, have you tried something different that has given you results? Any suggestion would be so welcomed.

my daugther is the same. Instead of hockey is ballet. I am at my wits end. She is a bright xhild who had all As in the first quarter, then started lowering her grades anf I realized it was because she was not doing her homework. She got 3 Ds in the 3rd quarter on the 3 subjects that she does not like: math and office productivity and the one that she needs to put a little effort. As in the rest because ahe like it. I have taken electronics and let her therapist know. We do have screaming matches and eventually she calms down and understands that she os not doing her work but in 1 or 2 weeks she is at it again. She is a good child, kind and very smart. I have asked during lenghty sensivle conversations why she is not doing her homework and her response is always ‘I don’t know’. She also lies about having finished her homework to get to do something fun and I don’t find out until later. I really don’t kbow what else to do but I don’t want next year to be like this one so I have already told her there will be no extracurricular classes next year if her 4th quarter is like her 3rd but we are 3 weeks into it and she is still not doing her homework.

Your son sounds like my son. He is not disrespectful and a joy to be around. All he cares about his soccer. He is a freshman in high school with low grades (failing algebra..I got him a tutor). He doesn’t care about failing. His attitude is “I’ll take it next year.” What did you do with your son? Please help me help my son.

My step son 13 and a freshman in high school. He just will not do him homework at all… He doesnt miss school but he is failing all classes. Terrible test scores and is down right disrespectful to his teachers peers and to his little brothers too. Tried everything… He doesnt seem to want to anything to help. Any advise?

Our son was adopted, lost his adoptive parents and we are the fourth set of parents he has known. he is partially sighted, has ADHD, and severe Reactive Attachment Disorder. Follow the above… It does work… We moved all his electronic devices into different rooms: some rooms give him privacy, some rooms makE sure he has time with us so we keep up with who we are dealing with and we are building a good study pattern for his main exams and we are all getting to know each other much better. The important thing was to take the additive habit of electronic gadgets away. He now does more activities with us and opening up more. We worked together on a ladder chart that you climb as he accomplishes main milestones. If he is unsuccessful we have built in backup options or ways to get there. It has all the things he needs to do to get what he wants and the consequences if he misses a step or two he has backup steps. we got the school involved too and the college we hope he goes to for his choice in his career.

OMG I am living all of these nightmare with my 15 and 12 year old. Just got an email today that my 12 year old had 30 minutes to do an assignment and turned it in blank. WTH

I have the same problem with one of my son’s he just doesn’t care. The last 2 years of middle school he flunked a couple of classes during one semester then turned around a little bit and passed the next semester by a narrow margin. Went to summer school for the flunked classes and since the summer school is all online he completed both classes in a week and a half. This year he is a freshman in high school and he is failing all his classes, except 2 English and ROTC. His dad and I are at our wits end.

I think we should pray for them and encourage ,lets talk to them what they would like to become ,give them time to think and show love to them.

I have the same exact situation as Cat and Pete. My daughter is 14 years old. She has ALWAYS has a problem with homework. And its not just getting it done, its turning it in too. She just doesn’t seem to care. I know its not because she is having issues with the work itself because some of her missing work is for a Health class. This is easy stuff! She loves to read and is very good at it. She scores at a college level. She has to complete a reading log for her English class and she failed it last month because she didn’t complete any of it. And this is something that she IS actually completing. In my eyes, its pure laziness. I have taken away everything you can imagine. Phone, video games, TV privileges and nothing seems to “get to her”. The other day she sat at the kitchen table and literally refused to do any homework. She just sat there and scribbled on a notepad. I don’t know what to do. Im at a loss. Im exhausted from getting emails from all her teachers saying how bad she is doing. I tired of talking with her about it and getting yelled at for it. Any suggestions would be MUCH appreciated.

Maybe homeschooling her. Or an online school.

I feel the same. Sometimes I just feel like I’m the bad parent. My son is the same. I have so many talks to him and explain to the best of my ability how important it is and I am here to help him. But all he does is continue with what his doing or roll his eyes. Feeling frustrated.

Look like you are just describing my 11 year old daughter, and she is not just refusing to do her homework, but she also refuses to clean her room or help with anything in the house!! she is also very good reader and i´m always pointing on that as a very positive thing!, the teachers wont stop email me at least once at week by 5 teachers its to much to handle for me!! I´m about to be on strikes as a mom.. it´s being more than a year when you write here, did you find the solution?? did your daughter got any better?

Hey Fabs! No unfortunately I have still not found a solution. She is now 15 and a Freshman in high school. She has been failing both Math and Science since the beginning of the school year. She NEVER brings homework home to work on. She never even brings a backpack to school! I am seriously at a loss with her. I just keep telling her now that she is in High School and her grades are more important than ever. If she fails a class, she has to make it up either in the summer or next school year but that doesn’t really seem to faze her. She simply just doesn’t care. She just keeps telling me that its her life and I shouldn’t care. She never does anything around the house and when we do ask her to do something simple, she gets so angry right away. I hate to say it, but she’s just selfish. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself and is only nice to us when she wants something. People just keep telling me this is typical teenage behavior but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating to deal with.

The comment made by Cat could have been written by me. Our son is exactly this and the same age. The article is good. However, we are not looking at a ‘change’ in behaviour, my son has NEVER done any homework. He just flatly refuses. He gets more and more referrals and then detentions. He just doesn’t seem to care! People say, ‘start with communication’ but he just won’t talk about it. All he says is, ‘I don’t care.’ We have tried homework club where he attends for one hour each week. This worked for a while but then he forgets and then is behind and gets another detention. He ended last year with 180 negative referral points. We were shocked when his 3yrs elder sister received just one. Little did we know what was coming! We have met with his teachers on my occasions. They have been very supportive, but still no result. They don’t have a school councillor as such. We have absolutely no idea how to connect with this child. Any help, from anyone, would be very, very most welcome.

We have a 14 year old 8th grader and nothing seems to work. He starts off each year with a “this year will be different” and then it goes downhill from there with him barely passing. We have tried reward. Didn’t work. This year we have slowly removed electronics until now he’s facing a summer with no electronics of any sort. It doesn’t seem to be working. His teachers complain that he’s not turning in work and spending most of his days staring at the walls. He just says he hates the teachers and the school work but loves seeing his friends at school. At this point in the year he has a B, a C, a D and 3 F’s. Once again, if his grades don’t change he will pass with about a quarter of a grade clearance. My husband contends that just getting harder on him will work. I’m not so sure. I think he’s at the age where he knows what to do, he’s just refusing to do it. He is a good kid otherwise. He’s been offered rewards for doing work but that isn’t working. He enters High School next year and we are not sure what to do. If we spend a lot of money to hire a tutor, which we don’t have the money to do, then there is no way to be sure he’ll even do the work with a tutor and it could be money down the drain. Do we just let him fail while keeping any privileges here at a minimum? At some point he will figure out that the person he is harming is himself, right? I read your article. We have no school counselor to consult. His teachers give homework but short of walking into each classroom with him each day I have no way of making sure he brings it home. I also can’t sit with him in class to make sure he pays any attention or does his work. It’s like he doesn’t believe us when we, or anyone else, tell him that this is harming his future life. Please help if you can.

Hi Cat, This could have been written by me! Has the situation improved one year on? I am at wits end. Like you I’ve tried everything. Please help.

I think this is often a good time to seek advice of a school guidance counselor. fortunately, if you don’t have that option, there are a number of excellent reading resources from well qualified professionals. By far the best I have found is Parents in Highschooland by Karyn Rashoff. http://highschooland.com/ The advice and ideas offered in this book really opened my eyes to a lot of ways that I could get involved to encourage and support my kids though high school. A must-read for parents of high school teens in my eyes.

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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / School & Homework

“My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork

By janet lehman, msw.

For many parents, getting their kids to do their homework is a nightly struggle. Some kids refuse to do their homework. Others claim that they don’t have homework, but then the report card comes out, and you realize that their work was not being done.

So why is homework time so difficult? In my opinion, one of the major reasons is that it’s hard for kids to focus at home. Look at it this way: when your child is in school, they’re in a classroom where there aren’t a lot of distractions. The learning is structured and organized, and all the students are focusing on the same thing.

But when your child comes home, their brain clicks over to “free time” mode. In their mind, home is a place to relax, have a snack, listen to music, and play video games. Kids simply don’t view the home as the place to do schoolwork.

If the homework struggles you experience are part of a larger pattern of acting out behavior, then the child is resisting to get power over you. They intend to do what they want to do when they want to do it, and homework just becomes another battlefield. And, as on any other battlefield, parents can use tactics that succeed or tactics that fail.

Regardless of why your child won’t do their homework, know that fighting over it is a losing proposition for both of you. You will end up frustrated, angry, and exhausted, and your child will have found yet another way to push your buttons. And, even worse, they will wind up hating school and hating learning.

A major part of getting your child to do their homework lies in establishing a system so that your child comes to see that homework is just a regular part of home life. Once they accept that, you’ve already won half the battle. Accordingly, my first few tips are around setting up this system. If you get the system right, things tend to fall into place.

Put this system in place with your child at a time when things are calm and going well rather than during the heat of an argument. Tell your child that you’re going to try something different starting next week with homework that will make it go better for everyone. Then explain the system.

You’ll find that this system will make your life easier as a parent, will make you more effective as a parent, and will help your child to get the work done. And when your child gets their work done, they’re more likely to succeed, and nothing drives motivation more than success.

Structure the Evening for Homework

When your kids come home, there should be a structure and a schedule set up each night. I recommend that you write this up and post it on the refrigerator or in some central location in the house. Kids need to know that there is a time to eat, a time to do homework, and also that there is free time. And remember, free time starts after homework is done.

Homework time should be a quiet time in your whole house. Siblings shouldn’t be in the next room watching TV or playing video games. The whole idea is to eliminate distractions. The message to your child is, “You’re not going to do anything anyway, so you might as well do your homework.”

Even if your child doesn’t have homework some nights, homework time should still mean no phone and no electronics. Instead, your child can read a book or a magazine in their room or work on longer-term assignments. Consistently adhering to the homework time structure is important to instill the homework habit.

Start the Evening Homework Habit When Your Kids are Young

If your children are younger and they don’t get homework yet, set aside quiet time each evening where your child can read or do some type of learning. Doing so will help children understand that evening quiet and study time is a part of everyday home life, just like chores. This habit will pay off when the real homework begins.

Use a Public Place for Homework

For a lot of kids, sending them to their rooms to do their homework is a mistake. Many children need your presence to stay focused and disciplined. And they need to be away from the stuff in their rooms that can distract them.

You know your child best. If you think they’re not being productive in their room, then insist they work at the kitchen table or in some other room where you can monitor them and where there will be fewer distractions.

If they do homework in their room, the door to the room should be open, and you should check in from time to time. No text messaging, no fooling around. Take the phone and laptop away and eliminate electronics from the room during study time. In short, you want to get rid of all the temptations and distractions.

Give Breaks During Homework Time

Many kids get tired halfway through homework time, and that’s when they start acting up. If your child is doing an hour of homework, have them take a 5-minute break every half-hour so that they can get up, have a snack, and stretch their legs. But don’t allow electronics during the break—electronics are just too distracting.

Monitor the break and ensure that your child gets back to work promptly.

Be sure to encourage your child when they’re discouraged. It’s okay to say things like:

“I know it’s a drag, but think of this—when you get your work done, the rest of the night is yours.”

“Look, if you do your work all week, you’ll have the whole weekend to do what you want.”

Show your child empathy—how many of us truly enjoyed homework every night? It’s work, pure and simple. But your child will be encouraged when they begin to have success with their work.

Help Your Child Get Started With Their Homework

Some kids have a hard time getting assignments started. They may be overwhelmed or unsure where to begin. Or the work may seem too difficult.

There’s a concept I explain in The Total Transformation® child behavior program called hurdle help . If you have a child who has a hard time getting started, spend the first five minutes with them to get them over the first couple of hurdles. Perhaps help them with the first math problem or make sure they understand the assignment.

For many kids who are slow starters, hurdle help is very effective. This doesn’t mean you are doing their homework for them—this is simply extra help designed to get them going on their own.

Help Your Child Manage Long-Term Assignments

If your child has a big, long-term project, then you want to work with them to estimate how much time it’s going to take. Then your child has to work within that time frame. So if your child has a science project, help them manage and structure their time. For instance, if the project is due in 30 days, ask them:

“How much time are you going to spend on it each night?”

They might say, “15 minutes a night,” and you hold them to that.

Don’t assume that your child knows how to manage their time effectively. As adults, we sometimes take for granted the habits we have spent a lifetime developing and forget that our kids are not there yet.

Make Sunday Night a School Night

The way that I structure the weekend is that Sunday night is a school night, not Friday. So if your child has homework for the weekend, and as long as they’re done all their work for the past week, they get Friday and Saturday night off and can do their homework on Sunday night.

If there’s a project or something big to do over the weekend, then work with your child to budget their time. They may have to put some time in on Saturday or Sunday during the day. But other than that, your child should have the weekend off too, just like adults do.

The Weekend Doesn’t Begin Until Overdue Work Is Done

If your child has overdue homework, their weekend shouldn’t begin until those assignments are done. In other words, Friday night is a homework night if their week’s work is not complete.

Believe me, this is a highly effective consequence for kids because it creates a great incentive to get their work done. Indeed, each minute they’re doing homework is a minute they could be hanging out with friends or playing video games.

If you can hold to this rule once and deal with the complaining, then next week the homework will be done.

By the way, if they say they can’t do their homework because they didn’t bring their school books home, they should be grounded for the weekend. You can say:

“I don’t want to hear that you can’t do it because you don’t have your books. You’d better call around and find a friend who you can borrow them from. Otherwise, you’ll be staying in this weekend.”

Make Homework a Higher Priority Than Activities

Kids are involved in a lot of after school activities these days. I understand that. But my priority has always been “homework comes first.”

In my opinion, if the homework isn’t done on Monday, then your child shouldn’t go to football on Tuesday. It’s fine if he misses a practice or two. You can say:

“Here’s the deal. We’re not going to football today. You need to get your work done first.”

If your child says, “Well, if I miss a practice, I’m going to get thrown off the team,” You can say:

“Well, then make sure your work is complete. Otherwise, you’re not going to practice. That’s all there is to it.”

I personally don’t put football, soccer, or any other extracurricular activities above homework and home responsibilities. I don’t believe parents should be going from soccer to karate to basketball with their kids while homework and school responsibilities are being neglected.

Use Rewards for Schoolwork, Not Bribes

Most kids get personal satisfaction out of getting good grades and completing their work, and that’s what we’re aiming for. Nevertheless, it’s important to reinforce positive behavior, and that may mean offering an incentive for getting good grades. For instance, my son knew that he would get a certain reward for his performance if he got all B’s or above. The reward was an incentive to do well.

One of the shortcuts we take as parents is to bribe our kids rather than rewarding them for performance. It can be a subtle difference. A reward is something that is given after an achievement. A bribe is something you give your child after negotiating with them over something that is already a responsibility.

If you bribe your child to do their homework or to do anything else that is an expected responsibility, then your child will come to expect something extra just for behaving appropriately. Bribes undermine your parental authority as kids learn that they can get things from you by threatening bad behavior. Bribes put your child in charge of you.

The appropriate parental response to not meeting a responsibility is a consequence, not a bribe. A bribe says, “If you do your homework, I will extend your curfew by an hour.” In contrast, a consequence says, “If you don’t do your homework, you’re grounded until it’s finished.” Never bribe your kids to do what they’re expected to do.

Use Effective Consequences

When giving consequences, be sure they’re effective consequences. What makes an effective consequence? An effective consequence motivates your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be successful.

An effective consequence looks like this:

“If you fall below a B average, then you can no longer study in your room and must study at the kitchen table until you get your average back to a B.”

For the child who prefers to study in their room, this is an effective consequence.

Another effective consequence would be the following:

“If you choose not to study during the scheduled time, you will lose your electronics for the night. Tomorrow, you’ll get another chance to use them.”

And the next day, your child gets to try again to earn the privilege of electronics. Short-term consequences like this are very effective. Just don’t take away this privilege for more than a day as your child will have no incentive to do better the next time.

For more on consequences, read the article on how to give effective consequences to your child .

Be Prepared to Let Your Child Fail

Failure should be an option, and sometimes you just have to let your child fail . Parents often do their kids a disservice when they shield them from the consequences of their actions. If your child chooses not to study enough and they get a failing grade, that’s the natural consequence for their behavior. And they should experience the discomfort that results from their behavior.

Let me be clear. If you interfere and try to get your child’s teacher to change their grade, your child will learn the wrong lesson. Your child will learn that if they screw up enough, Mom and Dad will take care of them. And they don’t learn their math or science or whatever it is they failed.

To be sure, failing is a hard lesson, but it’s the right lesson when your child fails. And it’s not the end of the world. In fact, for many kids, it’s what turns them around.

Don’t Fight with Your Child Over Homework

Don’t get sucked into arguments with your child about homework. Make it very clear that if they don’t do their homework, then the next part of their night does not begin. Keep discussions simple. Say to your child:

“Right now is homework time. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can have free time.”

Say this in a supportive way with a smile on your face. Again, it’s important not to get sucked into fights with your child. Remember, you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. If your child refuses to do his or her work, then calmly give the consequence that you established for not doing homework.

Also, trying to convince your child that grades are important is a losing battle. You can’t make your child take school as seriously as you do. The truth is, they don’t typically think that way. To get your child to do homework, focus on their behavior, not their motivation. Rather than giving a lecture, just maintain the system that enables them to get their work done. Often, the motivation comes after the child has had a taste of success, and this system sets them up for that success.

Stay Calm When Helping Your Child With Their Homework

It’s important to be calm when helping your child with their homework. Don’t argue about the right answer for the math problem or the right way to do the geography quiz. If you get frustrated and start yelling and screaming at your child, this sets a negative tone and won’t help them get the work done. It’s better to walk away than it is to engage in an argument, even when you’re just trying to be helpful.

For couples, it may be that one of you is more patient and acceptable to your child. Let that person take on the homework monitoring responsibilities. And don’t take it personally if it isn’t you.

Remember, if you can’t stay calm when helping your child, or if you find that your help is making the situation worse, then it’s better not to help at all. Find someone else or talk to the teacher about how your child can get the help they need. And try not to blame your child for the frustration that you feel.

It’s Your Child’s Homework, Not Yours

Remember that your child is doing the homework as a school assignment. The teacher will ultimately be the judge of how good or bad, correct or incorrect the work is. You’re not responsible for the work itself; your job is to guide your child. You can always make suggestions, but ultimately it’s your child’s job to do their assignments. And it’s the teacher’s job to grade them.

Know the Teachers and the Assignments

Build good relationships with your child’s teachers. Meet with the teachers at the beginning of the school year and stay in touch as the year progresses. Your relationships with your child’s teachers will pay off if your child begins to have problems.

And if your child does have problems, then communicate with their teachers weekly. If they’re not handing in their work on time, ask the teachers to send you any assignments that they didn’t get done each week. Many schools have assignments available online, which is a big help for parents. Just don’t rely on your child to give you accurate information. Find out for yourself.

The bottom line is that you want to hold your child accountable for doing their work, and you can only do that if you know what the work is. If you keep yourself informed, then you won’t be surprised when report cards come out.

Work with your child on a system to keep track of assignments. I recommend an old-fashioned paper calendar simply because we already have too many distracting electronics in our lives—experiment and use what works best for your child.

Finally, try to see your child’s teachers as your allies. In my experience, most teachers are dedicated and caring, but I realize that this isn’t always the case. So, for your child’s sake, do your best to find a way to work with their teachers.

If You Think Your Child Might Have a Learning Disability

Kids are expected to do some difficult work, and your child may struggle. If your child is having an especially hard time, talk with their teacher. Ask if it’s typical for your child to be struggling in this area.

In some cases, the teacher may recommend testing to see if your child has a learning disability. While this can be hard to hear as a parent, it’s important to find out so that you can make the necessary adjustments.

If it turns out that your child does have a learning disability, then you want to get an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) set up with the school.

Most kids don’t enjoy homework, and for some, it will always be a struggle. Our children all have different strengths and abilities, and while some may never be excellent students, they might be great workers, talented artists, or thoughtful builders.

I have to admit that dealing with my son’s homework was one of my least favorite experiences as a parent. It was overwhelming at times. Often, I just wasn’t equipped to offer the help he needed.

Our son struggled with a learning disability, which made the work feel unending at times. My husband James was much better at helping him, so he took on this responsibility. But even with this division of labor, we had to make adjustments to our schedules, our lives, and our expectations to make sure our son did his homework as expected.

Life would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down, and dug into their homework without being asked. This is hardly the case, though. Therefore, you need to set up a system that is right for your child, and it’s going to be easier for some kids than for others.

We’re trying to raise our kids to be responsible and accountable for their homework. And we’re trying to avoid fighting with them over it every night. When I had parents in my office, I would take these concepts and show them how they could make it work for their families in their own homes. The families I worked with were able to turn the nightly homework struggle around successfully time and time again.

Related content: The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework

Empowering Parents Podcast: Apple, Spotify

About Janet Lehman, MSW

Janet Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled children and teens for over 30 years. A veteran social worker, she specializes in child behavior issues — ranging from anger management and oppositional defiance to more serious criminal behavior in teens. She is co-creator of The Total Transformation® Program , The Complete Guide To Consequences™ , Getting Through To Your Child™ , and Two Parents One Plan™ .

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Hello, my grandson recently moved with me from another state. He is currently in 8th grade (but should be in 9th). He basically failed the last 2 years and was promoted. I would say he is at a 6th grade level. It's a daily fight with him to do his homework. He won't even try. I know a lot of this is because no one has ever made him do his homework before. I thought he would just have to get in a routine of doing it. He's been in school for a month now and its a fight every single day after school. I have lost all the patience I had. I am tired of being a broken record and being the "bad guy". I don't want to give up on him and send him back to his mom, where I know he will never graduate. I have made so many sacrifices to get him here, but I am literally at my wits end with this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

My rule is homework after school. If he comes home and does his homework after school, it was easier for him to complete. That lasted a week and a half. Now, he just sits there and does nothing. Does anyone have any suggestions? I couldn't live with myself if I sent him back and he became nothing but a drop out. I know I am not one to have patience, and I am trying but at the same time, I am almost over it. I don't like going to bed crying and knowing that he is crying too. I am open to all suggestions. Please and thank you.

I'm so sorry you are facing these struggles with your grandson. We here from many caregivers in similar situations, so you're not alone in your frustration. We have several articles that offer helpful tips for managing these homework struggles, which can be found here: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article-categories/child-behavior-problems/school-homework/

We appreciate you reaching out and wish you all the best moving forward. Be sure to check back and let us know how things are going.

Jessicar Thank you for this article and strategies. I echo many of the frustrations expressed by other parents here, including my opinion (as an educator) that homework should not exist. I agree that teachers and parents are in a struggle about which adult is responsible for supporting the child in getting More homework done. The best thing for my son was a free "homework club" in fourth and fifth grade where a teacher monitored completion of homework. He has nothing like this in middle school so far. Where I really disagree with the article is about extracurricular activities. Kids need physical activity through sports! They need enrichment beyond academics through the arts, theater, music. Many families send their children to religious, language, and/or cultural programs after school. If I sat in school all day, I'd want to move my body and interact with others too. The solution is not removing extracurricular activities that are healthy or motivating or valued. The solution is for schools to limit homework. Given that there is still homework as a reality--I'd like advice on when to have child do homework AFTER sports or extracurricular activity. When is the best time for homework if the goal is to go to bed on time (in my house in bed around 9 pm)? Between extracurricular and dinner--when the kid is tired? After dinner? My child is in 7th grade and I still can't figure it out. What do others do/think?

I found school to be extremely boring, as a teen. Looking back I realize that I hadn't found the work challenging enough. Personally, I struggled with this all through high school. I was completely disinterested in school, as a result.

I noticed that there wasn't a section addressing situations where children, who are motivated by challenges, do poorly as a result of boredom.

I enjoy reading many of the articles; even those which don't necessarily apply to my current situations with my child. One never knows what obstacles or challenges one may come across. Thank you

Here's what I know. Correcting our children when their behavior is displeasing is what most parents focus on. Without a lot of explanation I'm going to try to get you to change your focus. All children have 4 emotional needs:

1. A sense of belonging

2. A sense of personal power

3. To be heard and understood

4. Limits and boundaries

Rather than focus on your child's behavior, focus on meeting these needs. Meet the needs, change the behavior. There a 25 ways to meet these needs. One of the most effective is to spend regular one-on-one time with your child doing what your child wants to do. How do you spell love? T-I-M-E. It seems counter-intuitive, but just try it for a week. Do this for 1/2 hour every day for a week. See what happens.

Frustrated Confused Parent, I went through similar challenges with my son when he was in high school. As a grade school student his grades were always B and higher. The changes began when his mother and I separated; my son was 12yo. Prior to our separation I was the one who maintained, and enforced the habit of completing his assignments before extracurricular activities could be enjoyed. His mother never felt she had the patience or intelligence to assist him with his homework assignments and upon our separation she completely ignored his school work. Although he continued to follow the structure I had established through grade school, he soon began to realize that no one was showing interest any longer and, thus, began shirking school related responsibilities. My son and I were, and still are, close. I am certain that the separation likely had some affect on him, but it was more than that. He was reaching his teens and becoming more self-aware. Friends began to play a more integral and influential part in his life. Unfortunately my son's grades began slipping as he reached his early teens. For me, this was extremely frustrating since I was aware of how intelligent he was and of what he was capable. After many aggravating, lengthy, heated, and unyielding conversations with his mother about maintaining the structure established through grade school, it became clear she was incapable or simply unwilling. Essentially, he was on his own. Of course I would do whatever I could to help. For starters, I facilitated a transfer to a Charter School, realizing that he needed more individualized attention than that which a public school could provide. It seemed as though he was getting 'lost in the shuffle'.

Unfortunately the damage had already been done. After two years under his mother's lack of tutelage my son had developed some poor habits.

He struggled with maintaining good grades throughout his high school career. By 'maintaining good grades' I mean that he would take a grading of 45 in math and bring it to a 70 within three weeks of the end of a marking period. He ALWAYS passed, though. He would somehow get his grades to or even above passing by the end of the period. As I began to see this, I began to have more faith knowing that when the going got tough he would step up and take charge. It also indicated that he did well with what might perceive as an impossible goal. So, I started to have faith that he'd find his way.

He has since graduated, he has a good-paying job, and he is beginning school to become an electrician within the next month or so. In two weeks he moves into his own apartment, also. He's never done drugs, never drank alcohol, and never started smoking cigarettes. All of which I have done as a teen and well into my adult years. I am in recovery. My son is aware of my own struggles. Most importantly, I believe, is that he has a complete understanding that we all struggle in our own ways. Working through the difficulties, challenges, and obstacles are what makes us stronger and it's our compassion for others, and ourselves, which help us grow into decent adults.

I came to realize that the 'grades' he received in school had nothing to do with the amazing adult he's become; it was literally everything else.

NanaRound2 My 6 year old grandson has just taken 2 hours to write a list and write 3 sentences. He thinks if the words were shorter it wouldn't take so long. Already went through this with his dad. I celebrated more than he did when he graduated. Can't drag More another kid through school. Losing my mind and like the previous comment have tried EVERYTHING.

Yeah -been there, done that. Doesn't work. At least not for my child. I've read every *actual* parenting book out there ( You know, the books publishes by Harvard & Stanford professors who've been studying parenting and child psychology for the past 30 years?) ... and you're all missing something - because I've tried it all.

My kid DGAF. This was almost painful to read. "oh, yup - tried that one. That one too. Oh, hey - I've tried that as well."

This is so frustrating; tell me something I haven't already tried 50 times.

Psych Fan I'm with you my sophomore son DGAF . I tried so much stuff even set time stuff and he just doesn't go get his work out. He's 5'9 so I am 5'1 and I can't move him to do stuff . All he does is debate with me that More Grades really don't matter that he's like I'm just going to get D's because I'm not going to care to do better because I do not like school. He doesn't understand why I don't approve of D grades because I know he has better potential but he's like D grades I will pass and get my diploma .

The first thing on the list is to try and stay calm. While doing homework with my children I'm usually very calm. When I do get frustrated I'll leave the room for a moment, wash my face, and take a few deep breaths until I calm down. Or I'll make hot chocolate to help calm my nerves. It's not a perfect system, but what is?

Number two is to set clear expectations around homework time and responsibilities. We have a standard homework time at our house, with a timer and everything. If our kids meet the homework time goal they'll be rewarded later in the evening with family time. Each of our kids know their roles and responsibilities in the house whether the work gets done before dinner or not.

Number three is a relationship with the teachers, each of whom e-mail us, some two or three times a day. Contact with them has never been better. They're teachers are all pretty awesome too.

Number Four, play the parental role most useful to your child...I have three kids. One needs no help at all, one needs minor help and advisement, while the third requires constant supervision or their e-mail might 'accidentally' open up. This we've provided through double teaming. One parent works with them until the other gets home, then they switch while the other goes to make dinner.

Five, keep activities similar with all your kids. We all live on the same schedule, if one of them finishes homework early they get the reward of extra quiet reading time-my kids are ALL book worms.

Six, Set up a structured time and place for homework. Done. Homework table with a supplies basket right in the middle of the room. Big enough for all of them to work at and then some, it's an octagonal table which my husband built. I also always have their 'homework snacks' waiting for them when they get home, and I usually try to make it healthy-even if they don't realize it.

Seven, start early. My kids have been doing 'homework' with me since they were babies, and (as I pointed out to them yesterday) they loved it. We'd learn about cooking, dinosaurs, amphibians, insects, math, English, chemistry, even the periodic table came up. We'd do work pages every day and they'd love it.

Eight, hurdle help, works in area's like math, but not so much with history or English when the problems aren't as straight forward. But we do use this method where it applies.

Nine, choose the best person for the job. I'm best at English and my husband at math. When I get stuck on math I know who to go to, and I'll even study in my spare time to get better at it so I can be more useful in case he has to work late. That being said, we both devote a lot of our time to helping our kids with their homework.

Ten, show empathy and support. Done, not only can I relate to my kids, but I've pointed out that not getting their work done will make them feel bad bad enough, and that that's why we should work on getting it done together, so they have something to be proud of.

Use positive reinforcement and incentives. :) There was this one time I sat my son down at a table with a work book about 400 pages long. He was young, not even in school yet. Next to the book I placed a giant bag of M&Ms. I told him for every page he got done, he could have one m&m. About ten minutes later he finished the workbook and grinned up at me. When I found out he'd finished the book, I quickly checked it to see if it was done well, and then pushed the bag of M&M's towards him and told him he could just have it...Now they get rewarded in video games and computer time...

It seems that according to this article I'm doing everything right...So why is my child still struggling with homework/classwork? They've literally just refused to do it. Have seriously just sat in their chair without saying a word and stared at the table, or desk, or screen- as the majority of work is now done on computers...I'll sit with them, ask them if they need help, try to help them with problems. They will tell me the right answer to the questions being asked and then refuse to write it down. I feel like I've done everything I can as a parent to help them, but despite all my efforts, it isn't working. So...when all of these things fail, when a parent has done everything right, and there is nothing more they can do short of taking the pen or pencil into their own hands and doing it themselves, (but that would be cheating their child out of an education) what then should the parents do?

When our kids don't get their homework done before dinner, they're sent down the hall where it's quiet so they can finish it at the desk there, while the other kids have family time. They are told to come and get us if they really need help after that. But at this point it's like ostracizing our child for not doing homework.

I agree with most of what's on this page, and our family lifestyle reflects that, but I will disagree with one thing it said. It is our job to help our kids and be supportive of them yes, to nurture them and help them get the skills they need to take care of themselves and their home when they're older...but it is not our job to do the teachers work for them, they get paid for that. Some days it seems like that's what's expected of parents. Some even send home classwork if the kids don't finish it in class. Which means the child now has even more work to do on top of their homework. Though I understand that the teachers want the child to finish the lesson, and were the homework not a factor I probably wouldn't mind it as much. I don't even mind them sending home study guides to help kids before tests (Which is what homework was originally) but to send home overwhelming piles of work each night for parents to help kids with, (Each child with different homework so that parents need to bounce from history, to math to English) it's unreasonable. When teachers send home homework, they're dictating what the parents can do with the little time they have with their child. Which is wrong. We once had to cancel a trip to a science museum because our child had too much homework to finish and there was no way to make it in time and get their homework done. They could have had an amazing educational experience which would overall help them get excited about learning with new and fun tactile experiences, but their schedule (and therefore our schedule) was being dictated by the teacher while they weren't even in class. Of course I try not to talk bad about homework in front of my children, because that would make it even more difficult to get them to do it. But children NEED family time, they NEED to be kids. To be allowed to get away from their work and be themselves, to go outside and play with their friends, or even go out to dinner once in a while with their parents. Homework has made it difficult to grow a relationship with our children beyond the confines of what the teachers are dictating. It's violating in some ways and frustrating in others. It's grown into this monstrous thing which it was never meant to become, and the funny part about it is that most studies done on it show that schools who don't have homework have higher test scores and graduation rates. Not to mention better mental health rates. Studies also show, that after a child is taught something, they'll only really learn it after a good nights sleep, and that no amount of homework will change that. Sleep is what our bodies need to absorb important information we learn throughout the day, so staying up late with homework might even be harmful to a child's education...

Sorry I guess that turned into a bit of a rant...In the end I was hoping to find something useful in this article, something I hadn't tried that might work, but I've done it all, and will probably continue to do all of it in hopes that consistency might be the key...It's just that even after years of already doing All of this consistently, it's still not working. It's as if my child has made a conscious decision Not to work. He's not unintelligent, he understands it, he's even been tested and found to have an above average ability to learn. He just not doing it..So what now? What more can I do to actually inspire him to do the work?

AshumSmashum Out of all of this, most of which I've read and tried a billion times, your comment hit deeper. My son scores in the 99% on tests but cannot sit down and do the simplest homework. He does have autism and adhd so when he freezes up on homework, despite More knowing it, I'm lost at how to help him get it done. He knows the work so why does he need to show it with 20 math problems after school that take forever to complete one? (whatever honors algebra stuff he's in, I was lucky to learn division lol) He has a high IQ and excels in all subjects and yet is being tutored, so far, in English just to get the work done. I'm so done with the emotional toll it takes on me and him at home. Nobody wants to go to work for 8 hours and come home and do the same for another 5 so why do we think our kids want to come home and do more classwork? I'm so appreciative of your comment!

JC Hi Barb, thank you for bringing this up! My son sounds a lot like you...and he really wants to get good grades and go to an Ivy League school. What could someone do to help an 8th grader in the moment of struggle, while making sure they don't get more More anxious from falling behind for the rest of the year?

Tb Hi Barb, I'm the parent of an 8th grader and I want to thank you for the comment you left here. You helped me look at the deeper issues and I really appreciate that. I'm going to approach the conversation with my son differently, thanks to you. Thank More you!

My 11 year old daughter, Alice, has always helped her 7 year old sister, Chole, with homework. But just recently Alice has been giving Chole the wrong answers. We have been trying to get her to give Chole the correct answers

but she always yells at us. She has a baby sister 2 months named Ray and ever since Ray was born she has been giving Chole wrong answers. I once overheard her and Kevin, my husband, talking about how she felt left out. She came and talked to me and said exactly what she had told Kevin. She also told me she has been getting bad grades and doesn't get her homework. Me and Alice talked and she said "All the cool New York girls get straight A's and ever since I started getting D's and F's they said I wasn't cool anymore." We started having her grandparents come over and she would yell, hit, scream, and talk back to them. She is a great student but she spends all of her time on her phone. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even at school she is on her phone. All I'm asking is that 1. How do I make her stop screaming, yelling, hitting, and back talking? 2. How do I make her feel cool and get A's again?and 3. How do I get her off her phone?

sounds like you have a number of concerns around your daughter’s behavior, and

it certainly can feel overwhelming. We would suggest https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/its-never-too-late-7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively/ and focusing on just one or two of the most serious, to get

started. Behaviors like verbal or physical abuse would be of top priority,

while behaviors like https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-walk-away-from-a-fight-with-your-child-why-its-harder-than-you-think/ we would recommend ignoring, and not giving it any power or control.

Empowering Parents author Sara Bean offers some great insight into the reason

for poor child behavior in her article, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/.It sounds like your daughter is struggling to

find more effective ways to solve the problems she is facing, and the result is

the acting out behavior. Keep in mind, you can’t make your daughter do anything, but what you can do is help her to

learn better tools to solve whatever problems may come her way. Best of luck to

you and your family as you continue to work on this.

Emma Reed Alice also swears at school and she swears to teachers. Please we have tried everything, even her sister at age 18. What have we done wrong?

Being away from loved ones when they are struggling can be

distressing. It may help to know that it’s not unusual to see changes in

behavior as kids move from the tweens into adolescence, as Janet Lehman

explains in the article https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/adolescent-behavior-changes-is-your-child-embarrassed-by-you/. Normally responsible

kids can start to push back against meeting expectations and disrespect towards

parents and other authority figures can become quite common. The behavior you

describe isn’t OK; it is normal though. I can hear how much you want to help

your daughter and granddaughter

work through these challenges. If your daughter is open to it, you could share

some Empowering Parents articles with her, such as the one above and this one, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-childs-behavior-is-so-bad-where-do-i-begin-how-to-coach-your-child-forward/.

We appreciate you writing in. Best of luck to you and your family moving

forward. Take care.

mphyvr Thanks for all these "strategies", they might work for some parents, but quite simplistic and just plain old common sense for more defiant kids... Thanks anyways and hope this article helps many.

Psych Fan I'm a mom of a sophomore he's also a swearing boy and will have quite a tantrum even with consequences of take away all he does is sleep. He doesn't like school says school is a waste of time and that grades won't matter in his adulthood . He says More it over n over about how schooling won't help him in the future as I go it will help you do good on a ACT and SAT he is like getting good scores on those are only good if your going to college. He also is like jobs won't look at my grades . I tell him homework teaches him responsibility once a job sees your amount of effort in school your going to have a heck of time getting hired. I even ask him how is he going to succeed to work real well at a job when he doesn't work hard at school he goes I don't need to work hard at school but I will need to work hard at a job.

dcastillo68 If it was only this simple, but, in reality it is not.  Middle school syndrome is the worst.  Kids don't want to be labeled as nerds so they do everything to try to fail.  I went through that with my first born, and now again with my youngest.  It is More very frustrating when I was the total opposite when I was growing up.  I cared about my grades an I took it for granted thinking they will feel the same way.  Now seeing how they are happy with just getting by is really frustrating to me because I am such an over achiever.  They didn't even get an ounce of this.  Very very frustrating.  And I wish I have never invited video games to this household.  That is all they want to do.  I keep using this an incentive to bring them back on track, but as soon as I give them their games back, they are back to their old habits.  Sorry, but I can't wait until they are finished with school and hopefully moving out of state to hopefully a college career.  I may change my mind later, but at the moment, this is just how I feel.  It is very hard too when you don't get any help.  I find today's teacher to be lazy and pushing on more responsibility to the parents.  Who has time to do a full day's of work, only to do additional work at home?  okay, enough venting.

@frustrated single dad Diane Lewis Hi there - I have a son adopted out of foster care.  He is 6 1/2 and has been in 5 homes.  He is totally the same!  They learn this behavior and are incredibly manipulative.  They are so insanely smart.  I worry about exactly the same thing.  They turn on and off the behavior depending on who they are with and what they want.

We did Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT) at the Mailman Center (Jackson Hospital Miami).  It made a huge difference in the short-term.  They basically taught us to be full-time behavioral therapists with my son.  The effects wore off after a few months as my son adapted and found ways to circumvent the consequences techniques taught to us.  He is like the Borg!  I am going back to get more ideas on how to adapt and change and stay one step ahead of my son.  The gals there are really smart!

So, that being said - we have to be Jean Luc Picard and constantly change and adapt and outsmart them - just like changing the phasers on a laser gun!  It is bloody hard work.  And, harder the older they get -

eg.  He drops like a dead weight - throws his book bag and will not get in the car to go to school - response - next morning I headed it off by calling out to the kids "LAST ONE IN THE CAR IS A ROTTEN EGG!"  This has worked for 2 days now.  

Wont do homework 2 nights ago - response - "ooh I like doing word puzzles - Im going to do them and win" - this worked one night but not the next - he just then just left me to do his work - so I have told his teacher that there will be no school party for Alex next week unless he gets his homework finished - we will see if this works.....

It is totally exhausting and you have to be on your A game all the time.  Im telling you this but - I have to tell myself this too.  We have to stay really fit (like cross fit) and work out like a marine.  We have to be very disciplined with ourselves - a healthy body is a healthy mind - we cannot let up at all.  We have to stay calm at all times (again self discipline).  

Im always looking for concrete reactions to situations with my son.  Like I said - the entire day goes on like this with everything except what he wants to do.  Wont get dressed in the morning - put out his clothes in dining room where there are no distractions or toys - tell him that if he gets dressed and ready for school quickly - he can spend the left over time on the trampoline.  That worked this morning.

STAY STRONG MY BROTHER IN ARMS!!!  If you can get into a PCIT program - do it.

Love to you - R

My child comes home and says he doesn't have homework, does something easy to make it look like he's doing his homework, or says he did it during free time in class.  How do you combat this without going to the school everyday?  Neither my husband nor I can do More this because of work, and the we asked the teacher's if it was possible to send us the assignments via email or let us come pick them up once a week with no cooperation.  He is a very smart kid and gets "A's' on the work he does, but he is failing all of his core classes because he won't do homework.

@atmywitsend  , my child is the same way.  I'm at my wits end.  I feel like I'm a failure as a parent because I thought I taught my smart kid to succeed - and instead she's lying to me.

Psych Fan NinaMays I'm with the same feelings as my son can be above a C student but he choose to go oh I rather just get F's on this work than to actually get at least a B or A on these many assignments.. I ask him why he chooses F's More in many assignments when he could get a grade to bring his grades up and me telling me he's not being his full potential as by making him not do his work how can I truly believe he's going to be successful and he's like I have big brains . Then I'm like why not show me by doing your school work he goes I don't need do that and I show you of my big brains by telling you school isn't important. Telling me I am brainwashed. He is a sophomore in high school.

FRUSTRATED PARENT NinaMays This is my reality too - "relationship" with teachers is difficult when they won't co-operate with homework expectations, or follow up email - the schools complain that kids are on the internet - yet its them providing wifi passwords - so kids are playing in class - lying about More homework - and since I'm not in the class, I have no idea until report cards surface.

Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.

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• 1. The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework
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• 5. When Your Child Has Problems at School: 6 Tips for Parents
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Disrespect... defiance... backtalk... lack of motivation...

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"she does homework" vs "she do homework"

Last Updated: March 30, 2024

• she does homework

This phrase is correct and commonly used in English.

• She does homework every evening.
• She does her homework diligently.
• Does she do her homework on time?
• Who does homework regularly?
• Why does she do her homework late?

Alternatives:

• she is doing homework
• she will do homework
• she did homework
• she has done homework
• she will be doing homework

she do homework

This phrase is incorrect. In English, the third person singular form of the verb 'do' requires the addition of 'does'.

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When Your Homeschooler Refuses to Do Any Work: Exactly What To Do!

Do you have a homeschooler who  refuses  to do their work?

Are your school days laced with frustration, pleading, anger, and tantrums – from both parent and child?

Is your kid slipping further and further beneath their potential because of their stubbornness?

Are you at your wit’s end?

Let me tell you, you are not alone!

I have had my own struggles with my 3 girls, and I have received emails from some pretty broken, frustrated homeschool moms too. 

I have written a couple of posts on how to motivate a homeschooler and whether bribing is every appropriate in homeschooling ….but I don’t think I’ve ever addressed the issue of what to do with a supremely stubborn child.

The homeschooler who won’t do school work no matter what “reward” is waiting for them. 

If you are in a daily battle of the wills with your homeschooler, you are in the right place. 

Get some coffee, and I’m going to show you how you can and will regain control of your homeschool and raise a child who loves learning! 

How to Deal With A Homeschool Kid Who Refuses To Do Any Work

1. Really Stop and Think. Dig Deep.

I don’t believe there is a “ one size fits all ” reason for why a kid continually and stubbornly refuses their homeschool work.

For that reason, you really need to sit down and think about what is truly causing the friction you are experiencing every day.

If you identify and correct these issues, it could make a world of difference in your homeschool!

To get your mind rolling, think through each of the below points and see if they apply to your homeschooler:

– Are you an angry homeschool mom?

No judgment over here. I have been there!

How would you feel if a teacher in a classroom treated your child the way that you do?

If you felt a pang of conviction there, please read my post on How to Stop Being an Angry Homeschool Mom . 

It gives practical tips that I have learned over the year to stop being impatient and angry with the 3 kids I love the most in the world. 

– Is the curriculum you’re using appropriate?

I am not one to say that you should run out and buy new curriculum every time your kid gets grumpy about school. But if your child is continually fighting you day after day, it may be worth it to try a different curriculum. 

I had one kid that went from slugging through math every day with a sour face to exclaiming, “Thank you, mommy! Thank you, mommy, for being this curriculum! I’m good at math!” 

All I did was switch out the curriculum and it made a shocking change in my child and our homeschool.

If you think this is the boat you’re in, read When to Switch Up the Curriculum .

– Is your child frustrated with new material?

Many kids fly through the early years of school and everything just clicks for them. People always remark about how smart they are.

Your kid may come to feel that they are just naturally gifted with all things school.

Inevitably though, these kids will hit material that is a challenge for them – it doesn’t come easily.

This may anger, frustrate, and scare your child. Instead of facing the challenge head-on, your homeschooler refuses to do it at all, so they won’t be seen as a failure. 

“Everyone says I’m smart. I don’t get this stuff though! Am I not smart anymore??”

I have had more than one kid like this. 

Here is how I handle it:

Pull the kid up into your lap, look them in the eye, and say with soft eyes, “We have a long stretch of years ahead of us where I will be teaching you. There will be lots of new material like this. You don’t know everything. If you did, you would be living in your own house, with your own job, and your own money. Did you know that school was hard for me too? I had to work really hard to learn {fill in the blank}. It was tough for me! I know this material is a challenge for you and you don’t like that, but let me tell you the truth about really smart people – they work hard . Smart people dig in and keep going even when it’s tough. Smart people don’t quit. You are a hard worker too, so I know you can do this if you set your mind to it.”

From this point on, praise your child for how hard they work, not for how smart they are.  

– Is your child under social stress? Dealing with depression?

Some homeschoolers may be refusing their schoolwork because they are rejecting the concept of homeschooling. 

They feel isolated. Yes, socialization does matter ! 

Is your kid able to get out and see their friends on a regular basis? Does your child have solid friends?

What can you do to meet those very real needs?

Check out my post – The Secret Strategy for Helping your Homeschooler Make Friends – to help your kid out.

More and more kids are also dealing with depression for many different reasons that have nothing to do with school.

If you think this could be an issue, there would be no harm in a doctor’s visit or seeing a counselor to help your child address the issue. 

– Are you pushing too hard?

This was 100% me in my first year of homeschooling. My type-A personality wanted my homeschool to be a huge success, so I pushed that onto my little 1st grader. 

I would tell her that she didn’t really need those manipulatives to do her math problem – couldn’t she just remember the answer?

The truth was, I was asking her to do things that were beyond her grade and development level – no wonder she wasn’t loving school!

I had to check myself, do some research, and make sure that my expectations matched what was appropriate for her. 

Are your expectations too high?

Are your school days way too long?

Do you push your kid because you want to validate yourself and your decision to homeschool?

– Are you having fun?

School, especially homeschool, should be fun. If you’re not having fun, why is that?

What can you change about your homeschool to make it more engaging and interesting for your kid?

Sometimes it is as simple as changing what you write on – check out that homeschool hack here .

Maybe you need a new read-aloud book. 

Make more time for art projects, science experiments, music, and P.E.

Find exciting Youtube videos that match up with your lesson. 

Be flexible, and incorporate the things your child is interested in into your lessons.

I once threw out a month of science lessons so we could dive into a study of Megalodon, which was something my kid was obsessed with at the time.

She was so excited for school to start every morning!

Take some time and go through these questions and really take an inventory of what is going on in your homeschool. If you still think your kid is just plain stubborn, then read on.

2. Lift Your Kid’s Eyes to the Future

Sometimes kids need a little extra motivation than your typical sticker chart rewards system.  Sit down with them and talk about their future (not in a scary way, but in an excited, adventure sort of way). 

What do they want to be? What are they passionate about? What do they want to do with their lives? Where do they want to go to college?

My oldest daughter (7 or 8 years old at the time) flat out refused to do math at one point. I took the time to gently show her that just about any job (and many basic life skills) requires an understanding of math. This is true of all core curriculum too!

We went online and looked up some good colleges that had programs she was interested in. We watched videos for prospective students and even looked at some of the college housing pages.

It all looked really cool and my daughter was very interested!

I told her that there is an end goal to school. There is a reason for what we do day in and day out – and that is to open every possible door for her. I want her to have her pick of colleges when the time comes. I want her to be prepared and to excel .

I want her to soar when she leaves my house and be anything she wants to be. 

But for that to happen, she has to apply herself in school. Kids that don’t do well in school, don’t have as many options and opportunities as kids who did apply themselves.

No matter the age your kid is, it doesn’t hurt to lovingly lift their child’s eyes to look at the long-term goal.

Make sure they know that all your efforts come from a desire to see them succeed in life!

3.  Introduce a Bookend Reward System

After discussing the future and the importance of school with your resistant homeschooler, introduce a Bookend Reward System.

That means that when they finish school in a reasonable amount of time, with a good attitude  – there will be a reward.

Now this reward must be something that you don’t mind giving out and they really want . It could be increased screentime, a sticker chart that helps them earn something bigger, a later bedtime, special treat, etc.

If your child fails to meet that standard (due to a bad attitude, not because they were actually struggling with the material) there will be a consequence.

The consequence should be something they really don’t want and you don’t mind doing. It could be a loss of screen time, taking away a favorite toy, putting their tablet in timeout for 24 hours, etc.

If you’re not sure what your consequence should be, think about the thing your kid would always rather do than schoolwork. Then take that thing away as the consequence. 

It’s important to communicate this “bookend” system with great love and concern . You are not angry – you love your homeschooler and you want to help motivate them to reach their true potential.

Every day they have a chance to either earn something positive…or experience an immediate negative consequence.

You are no longer in a daily power struggle over schoolwork.

They pick every day what they want to experience.

They are in the driver’s seat. 

4. Consistency is the Name of the Game

It is one thing to introduce the Bookend Reward system to your homeschooler who resues to do their work…and it is any entirely different thing to actually follow through with it. 

This system will absolutely fail  if you do not convince your child that you are serious. 

You must always follow through with what you said you would do.

Whenever you have to administer consequences, be firm, but kind .

Tell them you are so sorry they made this choice and you were really hoping they would choose differently.

Do not give second chances . That sounds harsh, but they need to learn what the standard is – and that is school completed on time with a good attitude.

There is no room for tantrums, ugly words, or refusing to be work. You will no longer beg them to do their work.  

When they choose the positive path – go nuts! Celebrate them to the point that they roll their eyes and say you’re embarrassing them!

Delight in the reward they receive and make a big deal about it at the dinner table. 

*****If you think your kid really struggles with connecting their actions to how the day plays out, I highly recommend getting the book “ What Should Danny Do? ” and “ What Should Darla Do? ”

These are fantastic “choose your own adventure” books that allow your kid to actually choose what decisions Danny and Darla make throughout the day. They get to see how the day changes based on the decisions they make!

My own kids have benefited so much from these books and now respect their own “Power to Choose.”

But What if This Doesn’t Work and My Homeschool Still Won’t Do Their Work?

If you find that your kid still doesn’t care about the reward you’re offering and the consequence for not meeting the standard…I would tell you revisit the questions in the first point of this post and rethink what the reward and consequence are.

Whatever you have picked is not getting the job done.

Do not be afraid to sit down and ask your child what would motivate them. You might be surprised what they will tell you their consequence should be! 

Find the right pressure points and stay consistent with a loving and firm hand. 

How to Prevent Raising a Homeschooler Who Won’t Do Schoolwork

Did you read this article out of fear, not because you are actually experiencing a homeschool kid who refuses schoolwork?

Do you want to be prepared for what the future might hold?

If this is you, then I want to give you some points to avoid getting in the situations this article talks about. 

Your homeschooler may love school right now. They may relish every read-aloud book, worksheet, and project…but that attitude will likely not last. 

Mountains and valleys are extremely normal in education.

You just need to be ready.

I would strongly recommend following these steps to prevent raising a homeschooler who won’t do school work:

1. Make “fun” a central value of your homeschool. Don’t skip the cool things because you think you don’t have time. Your kids should be excited to find out what they’ll be learning tomorrow!

2. use a reward system for schoolwork even if you don’t “need” one right now. it will help on days that your kid is a little sluggish – don’t we all have those days, 3. when and if your kid gives you an inappropriate attitude about school work, nip it in the bud quickly. make it clear that such behavior will not be tolerated. do not yell or get angry, just state that your job is to teach – not to beg them to do school. i have even sent my kids to their rooms and told them they have lost the privilege of doing school – which also means they lost their reward for the day., recap when your homeschooler refuses to do homeschool work.

You can absolutely change the path your homeschool is on – I have no doubt. 

Remember to address those initial questions about your homeschool with brutal honesty, talk to your kid about what their future holds, introduce the Bookend Rewards System , and follow through with it! 

You can do this!

And your children will be so blessed by your efforts, Homeschool Mama.

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A Lady's Relationships

My Friend Keeps Asking Me For Homework (Problem Solved)

“ My friend wants to copy my assignment, should I share my homework?” We have heard those words many times. Is your friend a homework mooch who piggybacks off the hard work of others? Are you always being bombarded with requests from your friend to let her copy your work? Why can’t she spend time doing the work instead of asking you? It’s not like you are not in the same class, so she has an equal amount of time to do her homework, but no, she asks you for yours.

If your friend is a bottom feeder who never does her homework, you have come to the right place, we have the perfect solutions that you must try, and hopefully, with a prayer, she will eventually do her work.

Table of Contents

11 Things that you must do when your friend keeps asking you for homework

When your friend keeps asking you for homework there are two things that you must do, first, you can offer to help your friend understand the work but not share your answers, and second if she continues to ask for your homework you have to set boundaries.

Ignore her request

Do what everybody else does and ignore her, maybe she will get the hint and leave you alone, if she sends you a message asking you if you saw her homework request, act like you didn’t see it. You can say “ Oh, I am sorry I was busy and my phone battery died” . Let’s hope that she will have done her work by then.

Come up with an excuse

Make something up, you can tell her that the last time you let someone copy you got into trouble, and if you would do it again your place at school might be compromised. You can also say that the last time it happened you were given a low grade and you had to take extra classes and that your parents were suspicious of your reasons. If you are stuck, say something like “ I don’t think I can risk getting caught again” or “ I am also struggling with this”.

When you feel like you can’t do something No should always be your go-to answer, depending on how old you are you may be afraid that your friend will be mad at you, you are probably thinking “ If I say no my friend will think I am mean ” . That’s okay, she can think of anything that she would like, copying could get you both dismissed from school and that is when real problems will begin. Remember that in some states if you get caught copying it could mean a 5-year ban, imagine 5 years of no school because you were caught helping your friend who should be helping herself.

Unfriend her

If she starts getting nasty and saying things like “ You are so stingy with your homework” Or starts spreading rumors about you it’s a good thing because you don’t need a friend who will throw a tantrum because they didn’t do their work and want to copy yours, real friends respect boundaries even if it means that they might fail the class. If she speaks badly about you and you have to see her don’t worry, there is nothing wrong with your ex-friend being in the same class as you , this is about your education.

Offer to help her

Okay, we can give her the benefit of the doubt if this is the first time that she is asking for your homework or assignment. You can set time aside after school or on the weekend to help her with the section of the work that she is struggling with. When you help her, keep your eyes open and do not let her charm you into doing the work for her, you are offering you help but this doesn’t mean thinking on her behalf.

Think of the outcomes

Many things could happen if you give her your work, what if you let her copy everything and she ends up receiving better marks than you, this has happened before. It’s not like you can go to the teacher and say “ Why did I get a lower grade than my friend when she occupied me?”

Organize a study group

This is the perfect way to kill not one, not two but three birds with one stone. Doing group work in the classroom is great because you are helping your friend with her homework, you are maintaining your friendship without her feeling like you don’t care and lastly, you get to form a social group of study buddies, it’s a win-win for everyone.

Study buddy groups are great because you won’t take the fall if your friend ends up failing, why would you when all the work and studying was done in a group, she won’t be able to blame you.

Be proud of your hard work

If your friend turns around and calls you a nerd or breaks off the friendship, keep your head high and be proud of your work. It takes a lot to understand everything that is going on in school, your efforts and determination for a good grade means you deserve it. Remind your friend that she will feel proud of herself when she stays up late at night and does her work.

Help only once

You are not the center for help, nor are you the teacher, help your friend once and make it a one-time thing, if the work is not related to group study, always helping her might mean that your work will suffer as a result of overextending yourself.

Inform your teacher

Tell your teacher that you have a friend who is struggling to understand the work and is asking you for help but you want them to get proper help. When you talk to your teacher, do not mention your friend’s name, keep the name anonymous, or create some fictitious character. Maybe your friend is not supposed to be in a particular course or class, telling a teacher or lecturer will help them see if they need to change any subjects or majors.

Give her online resources

Luckily for your friend, there are online resources like Google and Yahoo to help her when she needs it, tell her to use online resources to understand explanations, most subjects have forums like the Student Room Uk and she will be able to find tons of help by posting on there. Some schools have extended programs that offer tutors and things such as a peer support worker course online.

How do you say no to a friend asking for homework? (10 Things you can say)

• “I am not confident in my work either”
• ” I am sorry but I can’t”
• ” The last time I let someone copy it landed us both in trouble”
• ” The school has a plagiarism checker”-
• ” Tell me what you are struggling with and I will help you”
• ” No, this is the second time you are asking me”
• ” Is there a reason why you didn’t do yours”
• ” I don’t want to be involved in anything that will get me kicked out of the school”
• ” If you are having trouble with a section, Mr. Smith said anyone can come and ask him for help”
• ” I failed my last assignment, you don’t want to copy from me”

Should I share my homework answers?

Think about the consequences of sharing your homework answers, this might get you into big trouble and your teachers and parents might not trust you again.

Should I let my friend copy my homework?

No, you should not let your friend copy your homework because several things can happen such as getting in trouble at school or home or your friend might make it a habit to always ask you for your homework.

Is it OK to copy homework?

No, it’s not Ok to copy homework, if you are struggling it’s always best to ask your teacher for help or talk to your parents about getting a tutor.

To wrap it up, Darling

You love your friend with all your heart but it doesn’t mean that you should be taken advantage of. Should you help a friend? Yes, but not if it will get you into trouble. try our idea of helping her in a group work environment or when your teacher has given the class a group assignment, remember that depending on where your school is you might be expelled for plagiarism, why risk that? Friendships should be fun, they should be about crying, laughing, and talking about how cool the new Barbie movie is, not about assisting each other to copy, Darling let me know how it goes.

She _________ do her homework tonight because the teacher won’t check it until next Monday.

A. don’t have to

B. doesn’t have to

C. must not

Select your answer:          

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I ___ my Gucci bag every day when I come to college.

What ……………………… at the moment?

A. she is doing

B. is she doing

C. she does

How to use : Read the question carefully, then select one of the answers button.

GrammarQuiz.Net - Improve your knowledge of English grammar, the best way to kill your free time.

Tips for time management in college

Julie holkovic shares her advice for managing time as a busy college student.

One challenge that many students face when transitioning to a college schedule and course load is how to manage their time.  This is especially important in engineering since students, aside from after their first year, do not get summers off due to the co-op schedule.

University of Cincinnati civil engineering student Julie Holkovic provides helpful time management tips that she has learned through her five years at the College of Engineering and Applied Science.

Julie Holkovic

Civil Engineering

[email protected]

University of Cincinnati civil engineering student, College of Engineering and Applied Science Ambassador, and member of Chi Omega sorority.

Time management is something that is so critical as an engineering student with the course load because it is necessary to have free time to unwind. Through my time at UC, I have been able to keep great grades while also being on the executive board of a sorority, being involved in a student organization and spending lots of time with friends. 

Stay organized

Julie Holkovic was an executive board member of her sorority, a CEAS ambassador, and more during her time at UC. Photo/provided

The biggest piece of advice I have for time management is to keep track of everything in one place. Personally, I use my iPhone calendar for this, but Google calendar or different calendar apps are another option. I also utilize the Canvas to-do list on the mobile app. This feature lays out class assignments in chronological order by due date. This makes it easy to prioritize assignments and decide where to start when I sit down to do homework. 

Along with keeping everything organized in a calendar, I also set aside a block of time for homework at least twice a week and find it very helpful. For me, I always do homework on Sundays and another day throughout the week depending on my schedule each semester. When I get overwhelmed, it is much easier to take homework one step at a time, beginning with what is due the soonest and going from there. 

Having time to yourself is important. Keeping a calendar is helpful to give yourself more free time because it allows you to plan out your weeks in advance so you know when you need to set aside homework time. I also find it helpful to do assignments whenever I have a bit of free time because it allows me to keep my homework load at a minimum. 

Utilize organizational tools

The biggest improvement in my time management recently has been getting an iPad. The reason this helped me is because everything I need for my classes is in one place. For instance, I take notes on my iPad, do homework on my iPad, and store class files on my iPad. Having everything in one place like this makes both homework and studying easier because it is all together and ensures I will not lose anything. 

If you have an iPad, I love the note-taking app, Notability. If you do not have an iPad, that is no big deal. The main thing is to keep your assignments and schedule organized so you know where everything is and you can access it easily. How you choose to do that (whether it be an iPad, Google Calendar, a written planner) does not matter. 

Go to class

My final piece of advice is to always go to class. If you skip class, it will take you so much longer to try to teach yourself what you missed instead of learning from your professors. If you spend one hour in class learning the material, it will save you time in the long run. Odds are, it will take you much longer to try and teach it to yourself. The most important aspects of time management improvement are organization, writing down a schedule, and keeping track of your homework. I wish you all the best of luck and go Bearcats!

Featured image at top: UC student Julie Holkovic talks about the importance of time management as a student. Photo/Pixabay

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One challenge many students face when transitioning to a college schedule and course load is how to manage their time. This is especially important in engineering since students, aside from their first year, do not get summers off due to the co-op schedule. University of Cincinnati civil engineering student Julie Holkovic provides helpful time management tips that she has learned through her five years in the College of Engineering and Applied Science.

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My Teen Won’t Do Homework. How Can I Fix This?

Meet Jake, a 15-year-old ninth grader, who rarely, if ever, does his homework. Jake’s teachers report that he is inconsistent. He enjoys learning about topics that interest him but seems unfocused during class and fails to complete necessary schoolwork, both in class and at home. Although his grades are suffering , Jake makes no effort to improve his circumstances. His frustrated parents find that their only recourse is nagging and con­stant supervision.

Sound familiar? When a teen won’t do homework , we call this behavior work inhibition. Here are some common characteris­tics of work inhibited students:

• Disorganization
• Lack of follow-through
• Inability to work indepen­dently; more likely to do work when a teacher or par­ent hovers close by
• Lack of focus
• Avoidance of work
• Lack of passion about school, despite ability and intelligence
• Negative attitude; self-conscious and easily discouraged

How can a parent help when a teen refuses to do school homework? First, try to uncover the root of the problem and then devise solutions based on that reason.

3 Reasons Why Teens Don’t Complete Homework and What to Do:

1. missing skills.

The most common rea­son for lack of motivation is a gap in skills. Unplanned absences or a heavy extracurricular load can contribute to skill gaps, even in otherwise bright teens. If you suspect a skill gap, act quickly to have your teen assessed. Your school guidance counselor can recommend the right resources.

2. Poor habits

Poor work habits can also contribute to work inhibition. Try to focus on a work system rather than the work itself with your teen. Set small goals to­gether and teach your teen to set small goals for him or herself. Try to take frequent notice of your teen’s effort and progress.

3. Lack of confidence

Often, students who are work inhibited fear being wrong and won’t ask questions when they need help. Teach your teen that everyone makes mistakes. Help them see these mistakes as another opportunity for learning.

What Parents Can Do to Promote Self-Sufficiency

1. offer limited help with homework.

Parents can offer limited help with homework.  Try to avoid micromanaging the process. When you micromanage, the mes­sage you send is that your teen will fail if you aren’t involved. When you show confidence in your teen’s ability to complete the task with­out you, your teen’s motivation and self-esteem will increase.

3. Resist lecturing

Ask your teen for ways you can help, but don’t lec­ture. Lectures about poor work habits and constant reminders about the negative consequences of unfinished homework can cre­ate more dependency.

3. Empower your teenager

Chores are a great way to empower teens . Delegating demonstrates your confidence in their ability. Try assigning tasks related to an area of interest. If your teen en­joys trying new foods, delegate the preparation and cooking of dinner one night each week.

4. Focus on strengths

Focus on strengths rath­er than pointing out your teen’s faults. When your teen succeeds, give genuine, specific praise. When you need to discuss expectations or problems use a matter-of-fact tone instead of an emotional tone.

Once you and your teen agree on the underlying problem, then the two of you can develop a plan to help create a self-sufficient student.

Martina McIsaac is executive director of Huntington Learning Centers.

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• Chưa có nhóm
• sua112233 - 20:52:01 05/12/2022

1. What she _________ (do) last night? She _________ (do) her homework. 2. My brother_________ (not/use) the computer yesterday. 3. She _________ (live) in Hanoi. 4. Helen _________ (read) the newspaper last night. 5. He _________ (forget) something? 6. I _________ (go) to the supermarket after school. 7. You _________ (see) Annes cat yesterday? 8. She was very sad, so she _________ (leave) the office early. 9. Jack _________ (get) married last month? 10. Last week I _________ (visit) Temple of Literature in Ha Noi. 11. Hasley _________ (eat) pumpkin soup for dinner. 12. My sister _________ (go) to the zoo yesterday. 13. Kate _________ (have) a great time in Paris last summer. 14. What she _________ (eat) for dinner yesterday? 15. I _________ (buy) many souvenirs for my parents. 16. My brother _________ (write) my mother several letters. 17. Helen _________ (help) me with my homework last week. 18. I _________ (return) to Seoul yesterday. 19. She _________ (go) to the club with a stranger yesterday. 20. She _________ (prepare) dinner with her mother yesterday

• Hỏi chi tiết

Hãy luôn nhớ cảm ơn và vote 5* nếu câu trả lời hữu ích nhé!

• Lovely Little Angels
• Ngandanh208

1. What did she do last night? She did her homework.

last night: quá khứ -> do -> did

2. My brother did not use the computer yesterday.

not-> phủ định mà yesterday : quá khứ -> did not

3. She lives in Hanoi.

She số ít -> live thêm s

4. Helen read the newspaper last night.

5. He forgets something.

He số ít -> V thêm s

6. I go to the supermarket after school .

7. You see Anne's cat yesterday?

8. She was very sad, so she leave the office early.

9. Jack get married last month?

10. Last week I visited the Temple of Literature in Ha Noi.

Last week: QK -> V2/ed

11. Hasley eats pumpkin soup for dinner.

Hasley số ít -> V s/es

12. My sister went to the zoo yesterday.

yesterday: tuần trước -> V2/ed

13. Kate had a great time in Paris last summer.

last summer: QK -> V2/ed

14. What did she eat for dinner yesterday?

15. I buy many souvenirs for my parents.

16. My brother writes my mother several letters.

My brother số ít -> V s/es

17. Helen helped me with my homework last week.

18. I returned to Seoul yesterday.

19. She went to the club with a stranger yesterday.

20. She prepare dinner with her mother yesterday

18/19/20 : yesterday : QK -> V2/ed

Hãy giúp mọi người biết câu trả lời này thế nào?

• Hội Tụ Tinh Hoa
• parkchaeyoung18

𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓮𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

`1,` did....do `-` did

`-` Dùng QKĐ vì có "last night" là DHNB

`2,` didn't use 

`-` Dùng QKĐ vì có "yesterday" là DHNB

`-` $\text{S + V(s/es)}$

`5,` Does......forget

`-` $\text{Do/Does + S + V}$

`7,` Did.....see

`8,`  left

`-` Vế trước dùng QKĐ thì vế sau cũng dùng QKĐ

`9,` Did.....get

`-` Dùng QKĐ vì có "last month" là DHNB

`10,` visited

`-` Dùng QKĐ vì có "Last week" là DHNB

`-` Dùng QKĐ vì có "last summer" là DHNB

`14,` did......eat

`16,` writes

`17,` helped

`-` Dùng QKĐ vì có "last week" là DHNB

`18,`  returned

`20,` prepared

__________________________________________

$\text{*Past Simple}$

`@` Với ĐT tobe:

`(+)` $\text{S + was/were + O.....}$

`(-)` $\text{S + was/were + not + O.....}$

`(?)` $\text{Was/Were + (not) + S + O......}$

`@` Với ĐT thường:

`(+)` $\text{S + Vpp}$

`(-)` $\text{S + didn't + V}$

`(?)` $\text{Did + (not) + S + V}$

`-` DHNB: yesterday, last (week, month, year, ....), ago, ...

Bổ sung từ chuyên gia

1. What did she do last night? She did her homework. last night: quá khứ: wh-words+ did+ S+V? S+ Ved/cột 2

2. My brother did not use the computer yesterday. yesterday : quá khứ đơn: S+ did not+ V

3. She lives in Hanoi. htđ: S+ V(s/es)

4. Helen read the newspaper last night. last night=> qkđ: S+ Ved/cột 2

5. He forgets something. htđ: S+ V(s/es) He số ít -> V thêm s

6. I go to the supermarket after school. htđ: S+ V(s/es)

7. Did You see Anne's cat yesterday? yesterday=> quá khứ: did+ S+V?

8. She was very sad, so she left the office early. qkđ: S+ Ved/cột 2

9. did Jack get married last month? last month=> quá khứ: did+ S+V?

10. Last week I visited the Temple of Literature in Ha Noi. Last week: QK -> V2/ed

11. Hasley eats pumpkin soup for dinner. htđ: S+ V(s/es)

12. My sister went to the zoo yesterday. yesterday: S+ Ved/cột 2

13. Kate had a great time in Paris last summer. last summer: S+ Ved/cột 2

14. What did she eat for dinner yesterday? yesterday=> quá khứ: wh-words+ did+ S+V?

15. I buy many souvenirs for my parents. htđ: S+ V(s/es)

16. My brother writes my mother several letters. htđ: S+ V(s/es) My brother số ít -> V s/es

17. Helen helped me with my homework last week. Last week: S+ Ved/cột 2

18. I returned to Seoul yesterday. yesterday=>S+ Ved/cột 2

19. She went to the club with a stranger yesterday. yesterday=>S+ Ved/cột 2

20. She prepared dinner with her mother yesterday yesterday=>S+ Ved/cột 2

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Beyoncé's first country music foray drew harsh criticism—here's how she used it to craft a No. 1 single

Even Beyoncé isn't exempt from harsh criticism and feedback — and you can learn from the way she responds to it.

The 42-year-old singer is set to release her eighth studio album, "Cowboy Carter," on Friday. Its lead single, "Texas Hold 'Em," has already made her the first Black woman ever with a No. 1 song on Billboard's Hot Country Songs chart. But she wasn't always met with open arms in the genre.

"This album has been over five years in the making. It was born out of an experience I had years ago where I did not feel welcomed…and it was very clear that I wasn't," Beyoncé wrote in a recent Instagram post .

She was likely referring to a 2016 performance of her first country song, "Daddy Lessons," at the annual Country Music Awards. Joined by The Chicks, who were known at the time as the Dixie Chicks, Beyoncé put on a six-minute show that received an onslaught of social media backlash.

"@Beyonce [with] the @DixieChicks at the #CMAawards50… SO NOT country!! HATED IT!!!," one user on social media platform X posted . "Much as I like some country crossovers, @Beyonce and @DixieChicks was a step too far," someone else wrote .

Instead of letting those opinions deter her, Beyoncé spent five years crafting her country album, she wrote.

"Because of that experience, I did a deeper dive into the history of country music and studied our rich musical archive," she wrote. "The criticisms I faced when I first entered this genre forced me to propel past the limitations that were put on me. [Cowboy Carter] is a result of challenging myself, and taking my time to bend and blend genres together to create this body of work."

She added: "My hope is that years from now, the mention of an artist's race as it relates to releasing genres of music, will be irrelevant."

How to manage negative criticism

Just about everyone knows what it feels like to receive external criticism that hits you in the gut.

"Negative social feedback, the sense that you might be excluded or thought poorly of, actually influences your nervous system," Wharton organizational psychologist Adam Grant told CNBC Make It in 2018. "That can feel like you can't breathe ... and in some cases, it feels like you've just been the victim of an attack and you don't know if you can be successful moving forward."

Your manager's harsh critique of a project you just turned in — or even your spouse saying a meal you made wasn't their favorite — can send you spiraling, if you aren't practiced at internalizing feedback in a healthy way.

Start with these three steps, Grant said:

• Practice listening to outside opinions. Ask people around you to provide small critiques of your professional or passion projects, to help you become more comfortable receiving feedback.
• Assess your response to negative feedback. Prioritize figuring out ways to improve going forward, rather than focusing on how the criticism makes you feel. Your goal should be to avoid incurring the same upsetting critique again.
• Predict the feedback you'll receive beforehand. "Prepare yourself by imagining what is the most negative feedback I could possibly get in this situation," Grant said. Any negative feedback you receive afterwards will probably sting less, and won't be so surprising.

These tips can help you better process criticism without taking it personally, and separate legitimate feedback from character attacks that can trigger your "flight or fight" emotional response, Grant added.

Want to make extra money outside of your day job?  Sign up for CNBC's new online course How to Earn Passive Income Online to learn about common passive income streams, tips to get started and real-life success stories. Register today and save 50% with discount code EARLYBIRD.

Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It's newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.

‘Big day for evil’: Former YouTuber Ruby Franke detailed how she abused her children in handwritten journal entries

Ruby Franke, a former YouTube family vlogger from Utah who was sentenced last month on child abuse charges , detailed months of abuse in handwritten journal entries released by prosecutors Friday.

In the heavily redacted entries, Franke repeatedly insisted that her son was possessed by a demon. In one entry from July 11, 2023, she wrote that it was a “big day for evil” and described an incident where her son was pushed into water and she held her hand over his nose and mouth.

She wrote that she did that to help the boy.

In another entry, Franke called her daughter “manipulative” and described how she forced the girl to stand in the rain for two hours.

In February, Franke received four separate prison sentences of one to 15 years each. Her business partner, Jodi Hildebrandt , received the same sentence.

Both women were arrested in August 2023  and pleaded guilty to four counts of second-degree aggravated child abuse after police found one of Franke’s sons emaciated with open wounds and bound with duct tape.

The boy had escaped Hildebrandt’s home to a neighbor’s house. One of Franke’s daughters was found in Hildebrandt’s home in a similar malnourished condition.

The journal entries, released by the Washington County Attorney’s Office, mainly focused on two of Franke’s six children. Officials redacted their names and identified the daughter, 9, as “E” and the son, 12, as “R.”

“R was told to stand in the sun w/his sun hat,” Franke wrote in the July 11, 2023, entry. “He is defiant. ... R, or I should say his demon, stays in the shade. I push R into the sun. R comes back. I come back with a cactus poker. When I poke his back to get in the sun R doesn’t even flinch. I poke him on the neck. He is in a trance & doesn’t appear to feel anything. Jodi taps him on the cheeks to wake him up.”

Franke also wrote that same day that her son was pushed into a pool and she held her hand “tightly over his nose & mouth.”

In a July 12, 2023, entry, Franke wrote that she cut her daughter’s hair off and “doused” her with water in the “dog wash.”

“E said she wanted to run away. Jodi told E she has no idea what is waiting for her,” Franke wrote.

Prosecutors also released police body camera video, photos and interrogation tapes.

In a home security video from Aug. 30, 2023, Franke’s son asked a neighbor if he could “do two favors.”

“Well, what are they?” the neighbor asked.

“Take me to the nearest police station,” the boy responded. “Well, actually just one is fine.”

The neighbor told the boy to have a seat on his front porch.

A second video showed the man on the phone as a woman assessed the boy’s injuries.

“He has duct tape ... there’s sores around them,” the man said. The woman said the boy needed immediate attention.

Prosecutors said that Franke and Hildebrandt were motivated by “religious extremism.”

“The women appeared to fully believe that the abuse they inflicted was necessary to teach the children how to properly repent for imagined ‘sins’ and to cast the evil spirits out of their bodies,” the Washington County Attorney’s Office said in a case summary .

The family became known for its popular and often controversial YouTube channel “8 Passengers,” where Franke documented her life with her husband, Kevin Franke, and their six children.

The channel had more than 2 million subscribers before it ended. Kevin Franke later filed for divorce after her arrest .

During her sentencing, Franke apologized to her children.

“I ... believed dark was light and right was wrong,” she said. “I would do anything in this world for you. I took from you all that was soft and safe and good.”

Hildebrandt said she hoped the children would be able to “heal physically and emotionally.”

“One of the reasons I did not go to trial is because I did not want them to emotionally relive the experience, which would have been detrimental to them,” she said. “My hope and prayer is that they will heal and move forward to have beautiful lives.”

Minyvonne Burke is a senior breaking news reporter for NBC News.

Ask Amy: My girlfriend seems to go out of her way to tell me when other guys hit on her

• Published: Mar. 29, 2024, 2:00 p.m.

Amy Dickinson, known as Ask Amy, answers a question about a young man’s insecure girlfriend. Canva

• Amy Dickinson

DEAR AMY: I am 20 and my girlfriend of six months is 19.

Ever since we started dating, she seems to go out of her way to tell me whenever a guy hits on her, compliments her, or flirts with her.

She’s gorgeous and so I totally understand that this is going to happen.

I completely trust her, but when we started going out I told her that I don’t really need to hear about every time a guy compliments her. I told her that I know these things happen, but that I don’t need to hear about it.

Finally, I flat-out asked her to stop reporting these things to me.

Yesterday she was headed to her friend’s house and told me that her friend’s brother has a crush on her.

Why does she do this? I feel like breaking up with her, not because I’m jealous of other guys, but because she seems to enjoy rubbing my face in the attention she receives from other guys.

– Stymied Student

DEAR STUDENT: I think your girlfriend does this in part because she is insecure, and this is her way of testing your relationship.

You’ve asked her to stop doing this, but you don’t seem to have asked her to tell you why she does it.

I suspect that your girlfriend is immature and that this gamesmanship is how she has gained social currency in the past.

Additionally, it’s possible that she believes that jealousy and drama are a necessary component to relationships.

You should ask her how she would feel if you behaved this way.

She might admit that having a partner who is desired by others is how she gauges her own awesomeness.

If you believe that this behavior reveals an essential difference between the two of you, then it would be best to break up and find someone whose maturity and values align more closely with your own.

(You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook .)

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Lizzo speaks out against 'lies being told about me': 'I didn't sign up for this'

Lizzo has had enough.

The four-time Grammy winner took to Instagram Friday evening to share a vulnerable message about feeling like she's being unfairly critiqued.

"I'm getting tired of putting up with being dragged by everyone in my life and on the internet. All I want is to make music and make people happy and help the world be a little better than how I found it," she wrote. "But I'm starting to feel like the world doesn't want me in it. I'm constantly up against lies being told about me for clout & views… being the butt of the joke every single time because of how I look… my character being picked apart by people who don't know me and disrespecting my name."

"I didn't sign up for this," she concluded. "I QUIT✌🏾"

USA TODAY has reached out to reps for the singer for comment.

Comedian Loni Love showed her support, writing, "Girl don’t let them win… stay off the internet.. hug up yo man… keep working.." Paris Hilton also chimed in, commenting, "We love you Queen😍👑."

Latto also told Lizzo to shake it off: "The ppl need u Lizzo. I remember U made me keep going when I wanted to quit before. Ur soul is SO pure." She added she's "team Lizzo" for life.

Lizzo's Instagram statement comes amid two lawsuits

In August, Lizzo was sued for allegedly pressuring and weight shaming her former dancers. Plaintiffs Crystal Williams, Arianna Davis and Noelle Rodriguez claimed in the lawsuit that they were victims of sexual, racial and religious harassment, assault, false imprisonment and disability discrimination, in addition to other allegations.

Later that week, Lizzo took to Instagram to share a statement in which she denied the allegations . The singer wrote that she typically doesn't address "false allegations," but said "these are as unbelievable as they sound and too outrageous not to be addressed." She also claimed the allegations "are coming from former employees who have already publicly admitted that they were told their behavior on tour was inappropriate and unprofessional."

Lizzo added, "I know what it feels like to be body shamed on a daily basis and would absolutely never criticize or terminate an employee because of their weight."

Her lawyers filed a response to the lawsuit in September denying "each and every allegation contained in the complaint." The cause is ongoing in Los Angeles Superior Court.

A week prior, her former wardrobe manager filed another lawsuit against the musician that accused her, as well as the people who worked on Lizzo's The Special Tour, of alleged sexual and racial harassment, disability discrimination and creating a hostile work environment.

Backup dancers' lawsuit: Lizzo sued for 'demoralizing' weight shaming, sexual harassment

"(Lizzo) has created a sexualized and racially charged environment on her tours that her management staff sees as condoning such behavior, and so it continues unchecked," Asha Daniels' lawsuit claimed.

The next day, Lizzo tearfully accepted a humanitarian award at a Beverly Hills gala and seemingly alluded to the lawsuits in her speech.

“Thank you so much for this. Because I needed this right now. God's timing is on time,” Lizzo told the crowd.

Lizzo has made several public appearances since she was hit with these lawsuits last year.

On Thursday, she performed at President Biden's 2024 campaign fundraiser at New York's Radio City Music Hall. Earlier this month, she attended the Vanity Fair Oscar Party and graced the star-studded red carpet in a brown mini dress.

In February, she returned to the Grammy Awards a year after she took home record of the year for "About Damn Time" to present the best R&B song award to SZA.

Contributing: Morgan Hines and Naledi Ushe

Angela Rayner will not publish 'personal tax advice' over council house sale - unless Tories do the same

Labour's deputy leader says she is confident she has done "nothing wrong" as Greater Manchester Police reassesses its original decision not to investigate a complaint about her living arrangements.

Political reporter @Journoamrogers

Thursday 28 March 2024 13:13, UK

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Angela Rayner has said she will not publish the "personal tax advice" she received on the sale of her council house despite a police development over her living arrangements.

Labour's deputy leader told BBC Radio 4's Today programme she was "confident" she had done "absolutely nothing wrong" with regards to the sale of her council house and whether she should have paid capital gains tax on it.

Ms Rayner said she had been "very clear on my advice that I've received" - but asked why she would not put that legal advice into the public domain, she said: "Because that's my personal tax advice. But I'm happy to comply with the necessary authorities that want to see that."

Politics live: Tory blames 'pesky peers' for blocking Rwanda plan

Sir Keir Starmer later threw his support behind his deputy at the launch of Labour's local election campaign in Dudley, telling the audience that she had not broken any rules and was right not to publish the legal advice.

Asked if his deputy should resign if found to have done wrong, Sir Keir said: "Angela has answered I don't know how many questions about this. She has not broken any rules, she has in fact taken legal and tax advice which has satisfied her, and us, and me about the position."

Although Ms Rayner has resisted putting her tax advice in the public domain, she has committed to hand over the information to the police and HMRC - something Sir Keir agreed with.

When pressed further on why she would not publish the advice - and whether she would accept the same reasoning from a Conservative politician - Ms Rayner suggested she would be willing to do so if her Tory critics did the same.

"If we're all going to have a level playing field and we suddenly decide that Conservative ministers need to hand over their tax affairs, if you show me yours, then I'll show you mine," she said.

The Labour leader made comparisons with Ms Rayner's situation to "beergate", when he and Ms Rayner were investigated, and later cleared, over allegations of breaching COVID lockdown rules ahead of the Hartlepool by-election in May 2021.

He said: "Where does this end? Are you going to be calling for Tory ministers to publish their legal and tax advice going back over the last 15 years? That is where this ends."

Levelling Up Secretary Michael Gove told broadcasters that, while he was sure Ms Rayner had "done nothing wrong", it was "in her interest to clear this mess up" and release the advice.

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The Labour leader's defence of Ms Rayner came after Greater Manchester Police confirmed it was "reassessing" its initial decision not to investigate allegations made about her living arrangements after receiving a complaint.

The Labour MP has come under the spotlight in recent weeks over the sale of an ex-council house she previously owned in Stockport, having been accused of avoiding capital gains tax - something she has denied.

But she has also faced scrutiny over claims that in 2010, she may have lived primarily at her then husband's address, despite registering to vote under her own - which could be a breach of electoral rules.

Ms Rayner has said she paid bills and council tax and was registered to vote at the home she brought through Margaret Thatcher's "right-to-buy" scheme. If it was her primary address, as she has claimed, she would not have had to pay capital gains tax on it when she sold it in 2015 for £127,500 - making a £48,500 profit

Keep up with all the latest news from the UK and around the world by following Sky News

However, there have been claims that despite registering at Vicarage Road, she was primarily living at Lowndes Lane, Mr Rayner's address.

Greater Manchester Police looked into the claims and initially said there was no evidence of an offence being committed.

However, James Daly, the Tory MP for Bury North who filed the original complaint about Ms Rayner, followed up with the force and said they had failed to properly investigate the allegations - prompting them to reassess their initial decision.

Read more: Rayner pleads for 'privacy' after row over house sale How Tory MPs can oust PM

Related Topics

• Angela Rayner

NBC reverses decision to hire Ronna McDaniel after on-air backlash

The network’s biggest stars had lambasted the hiring across msnbc’s lineup on monday, with more critiques expected this week.

Amid a chorus of on-air protest from some of the network’s biggest stars , NBC announced Tuesday night that former Republican National Committee chair Ronna McDaniel will no longer be joining the network as a paid contributor.

In a memo, NBCUniversal News Group Chairman Cesar Conde told staff that he had listened to “the legitimate concerns” of many network employees. “No organization, particularly a newsroom, can succeed unless it is cohesive and aligned,” he wrote. “Over the last few days, it has become clear that this appointment undermines that goal.”

The network had only just announced four days earlier that they were bringing McDaniel on board to provide “expert insight and analysis” on politics. “It couldn’t be a more important moment to have a voice like Ronna’s on the team,” one NBC News executive told staff at the time.

But the company’s on-air personalities — especially those on NBC’s liberal-leaning cable affiliate MSNBC — disagreed vehemently, saying that McDaniel’s promotion of former president Donald Trump’s media-bashing and false election-fraud claims disqualified her from a role in their news divisions.

And one by one, they took to the airwaves to deliver that message to their bosses in front of their live audiences Monday.

“Take a minute, acknowledge that maybe it wasn’t the right call,” MSNBC’s top-rated star Rachel Maddow said on her show that night. “It is a sign of strength, not weakness, to acknowledge when you are wrong.”

NBC delivered the news of its course correction to its employees before informing McDaniel, according to a person familiar with the situation who spoke on the condition of anonymity to preserve confidence.

McDaniel was surprised by the backlash to her hiring and NBC’s handling of the matter, according to two people with knowledge of the situation. She plans to hire a lawyer to deal with contractual issues.

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The outrage over her appointment was indicative of the larger struggle television networks have faced in hiring pundits to offer a pro-Trump perspective without running afoul of both the audience and their own employees.

CBS News staff, for example, raised objections when the network hired Trump administration official Mick Mulvaney — another promoter of the former president’s fact-free claims — as a contributor two years ago. He ultimately appeared on-air only sporadically and left the network after about a year.

Yet NBC also hired Marc Short, the former chief of staff to Trump’s vice president, Mike Pence , in February without triggering a backlash.

NBC employees argued publicly and privately that their complaint was not with McDaniel’s party affiliation but with her actions.

“To be clear, we believe NBC News should seek out conservative Republican voices to provide balance in their election coverage,” co-host Mika Brzezinski said on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” on Monday. “But it should be conservative Republicans, not a person who used her position of power to be an anti-democracy election denier.”

“We welcome Republican voices,” prime-time host Joy Reid added later that day. “The reality is: This isn’t a difference of opinion. She literally backed an illegal scheme to steal an election in the state of Michigan.”

In his memo to employees, Conde apologized to employees “who felt we let them down” and said he took responsibility for the botched hiring.

He added that the network remains committed to ideological diversity, “and to that end, we will redouble our efforts to seek voices that represent different parts of the political spectrum.”

Alex Conant, a Republican strategist who worked on Marco Rubio’s 2016 president campaign, told The Post earlier this week that television producers face a challenging pundit-supply issue.

“The networks have really struggled to find Trump loyalists to consistently come on air,” he said. “To be good at it, you have to be a serious person. You can’t just be a conspiracy monger and succeed in that role. They have tried to find serious people coming out of Trumpworld and have not found a lot of appetite.”

During the first Trump presidential campaign and administration, CNN also sought to capture the voice of his supporters. But some pro-Trump contributors such as Jeffrey Lord were loudly criticized while others washed out because of a variety of controversies and scandals.

McDaniel’s first appearance as a paid contributor was on Sunday’s “Meet the Press,” where host Kristen Welker made it clear to her audience she had no idea that when they scheduled the appearance weeks earlier that McDaniel would soon be her colleague.

She then proceeded to grill her guest in an interview that critics praised for its aggression and rigor.

Later in the show, political analyst Chuck Todd raised questions about McDaniel’s “credibility,” and he told Welker, “I have no idea whether any answer she gave to you was because she didn’t want to mess up her contract . ”

The backlash picked up steam Monday morning, when the co-hosts of “Morning Joe” said they would not have hired her. Throughout the evening’s lineup, MSNBC hosts took turns bashing McDaniel and the decision to hire her, which Maddow called “inexplicable.”

The comments made by Todd and the “Morning Joe” hosts were notable because it’s rare for NBC employees to voice criticism of the network, Tate James, a network video journalist who leads the union unit representing digital employees, told The Post on Monday . “They are the NBC establishment, and even they see the executives messed up on this,” he added.

By Tuesday morning, the situation seemed untenable. Even if McDaniel remained with the company, one of its main channels had already signaled she was hardly welcome to appear there, with MSNBC President Rashida Jones telling her hosts they need not book her.

One of NBC’s major failings in the matter, network employees and rival media executives agreed, was not securing buy-in from the network’s stars before hiring McDaniel.

Had NBC not reversed its decision, the network almost definitely would have come under additional criticism Tuesday night from prime-time hosts Chris Hayes and Alex Wagner, who are both off Monday nights.

Josh Dawsey contributed to this report.

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