zinger examples in essay

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Zingers, quotes, anecdotes and other things that make your writing great

When we think about how to get eyeballs on our reporting these days, we talk a lot about Twitter and Facebook and online branding.

Weber was part of the Los Angeles Times team that reported the 2004 Pultizer Prize-winning series The Troubles at King/Drew , groundbreaking reportage that led to the closure of a major urban hospital. Here are some of the major lessons she learned while telling blockbuster health stories.

Even with Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), Weber says, "there are all manner of ways to find out what it's like in a hospital." Documents can get you more than dry day -- they can proved the fodder for great stories . Weber offers several examples of how documents gave her great leads:

-Employee disciplinary records -- which become public when an employee makes an appeal -- often have graphic details about employee conduct, medical misconduct. Weber once discovered that a nurse had a janitor administer medications this way.

-Workers compensation records revealed that King/Drew had a surprisingly high rate of "chair falls," giving color to a story about hospital funding . It also gave Weber and the rest of the team an excellent lead for a section of the piece: "Vast sums at King/Drew go to workers injured in encounters with seemingly harmless objects. Take, for instance, the chair."

-Public hospitals have records of how many surgeries and procedures are being done. Couple that with salary information and you might find inconsistencies. This is how Weber discovered information about the salary of King/Drew's neuroscience chief: "As neurosciences chief, Locke made a total of more than $1 million over the last two fiscal years. That includes his hospital salary and a stipend he receives from King/Drew's affiliated medical school, records show. Top county officials can't say what Locke does for all the money he earns."

-Nursing boards, medical boards and other oversight agencies' records are powerful tools. Weber, with a ProPublica team, reported on the misconduct of registered nurses in 2009 and offered a tutorial for how you can do similar reporting .

-Criminal records can provide information about health care providers. Weber visited six courthouses to get records about one of the nurses in her 2009 ProPublica report.

Telling stories is a process that begins when you are reporting . "Don't leave this until you're back at your desk," says Weber. "You need to be thinking along the way, is there color?"

You can use a straight lead -- it can be really effective way to get to the heart of a story. But Weber says that a great anecdote can get to the heart of complicated subjects . "What I look for in an anecdote is something that can tell your entire story," says Weber. "I try to look for one that is a small version of the bigger story." She offers the example of a 2009 ProPublica report by Robin Fields about the risks of dialysis . The story has a paragraph that begins with data and facts, but what readers remember and comment on most is an anecdote about bugs:

Conditions within clinics are sometimes shockingly poor. ProPublica examined inspection records for more than 1,500 clinics in California, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Texas from 2002 to 2009. Surveyors came across filthy or unsafe conditions in almost half the units they checked. At some, they found blood encrusted in the folds of patients' treatment chairs or spattered on walls, floors or ceiling tiles. Ants were so common at a unit in Durham, N.C., that when a patient complained, a staffer just handed him a can of bug spray.

" If the quote's boring, don't use it ," says Weber. Avoid the "tendency to quote from the official document because it's official, or quote an official." If the quote is unclear or unengaging, call back for another quote or quote an expert somewhere else.

Your reporting doesn't have to be a big project . Even one amazing story in one document can give you a single quick and powerful story.

"I like to have a good, solid end on story that's a real zinger ," Weber says. "I think the purpose of the ending is to leave the reader with what the story means." A story about severe medical errors at King/Drew ends with a powerful quote: "She lives in King/Drew's shadow. She can see it from the rear window of her apartment. 'Every time I look at that hospital I think about what happened to me,' Clemons said. 'That hospital took my life away from me.'"

Write a great lead . Weber says she went through 75 leads with her editor at the Los Angeles Times on the King/Drew medical errors story.

Pay attention to your bullets and don't use them if they are not impactful . "Your bullets have to be so incisive, but also have a zinger," says Weber. Bullets help get your points up at the top, but also adds color and helps you outline a big project.

Sections should be each be mini-stories with "a saucy lead and a saucy end," Weber says. "You're going to have an arc for your whole story, but also for each section."

Keep sources on the record and get documentation for everything to help shield you from lawsuits , says Weber. (Learn more about legal resources for journalists from a prior post .)

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Cracking the Conclusion Writing Code

April 6, 2020 // by Lindsay Ann // Leave a Comment

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In conclusion writing, the goal for students is to wrap up their academic writing with interest.

But what does that mean?

And more importantly, how can I teach something as abstract as “interesting.”

Interesting is subjective and somewhat judgemental. If I tell students to just make it “interesting,” the hidden message is that they are writing for me.

I never want to make my students feel like they are jumping through some invisible “please the teacher” hoop.

I do want them to feel like their essay conclusion writing matters.

Teaching Conclusion Writing

Let’s talk about common practice in English teacher world for a sec.

The inverted funnel is an often-used strategy used by well-intentioned teachers.

Start with a re-stated thesis, and broaden out from there.

This isn’t wrong , it’s just woefully generic.

I like to put teaching strategies through the “struggling student” test. If I’m not sure how to end my essay and my teacher tells me to just “go broad” in my conclusion, but to keep it “interesting,” I’m going to shrug my shoulders and write a regurgitation of my essay’s main points. Maybe I’ll end with some sort of pithy statement. Done.

Wait, wait, wait, you may be saying. It’s good for students to struggle. They need to make sense of their ideas for themselves. Or, maybe you teach honors students and don’t want to “hold their hand” too much?

Giving structure doesn’t mean that you’re doing the thinking for students. It’s giving all students access to writing a great conclusion.

And I’ve found that my honors students are able to take this structure to a whole different level than my standard-level students. In the process, though, all students are clear and feel empowered to write. That’s what I want!

Writing Conclusion Paragraphs

Here are the steps I teach students to follow when writing the conclusion in academic writing.

It’s worth mentioning that this conclusion strategy goes hand-in-hand with this introduction writing strategy .

Ideally, the introduction and conclusion of the essay should work together , and I want my students to see a connection between how they began their essay and how they end their essay. This gives a bigger purpose to the “hook” and it gives a direction for students to uncover some deeper meaning in their conclusion.

Steps to Conclusion Writing:

👉 Begin with the thesis statement. Ask students to paraphrase it in their own words.

👉 Next, ask students to review what they wrote for their introductory hook. After their conclusion, their goal should be to review the significance of the thesis idea as seen in their essay. Then, they should write a sentence that joins the introduction idea back to that hook idea. Here, they should ask an open-ended question which they will go on to answer in the next step. This is what I call “coming full circle.”

👉 After blending in a question that makes sense in the context of their ideas, students should think deeply and answer their question. This answer is the beginning of their “so what.”

By the end of the essay, students should be discussing the significance of a bigger idea in terms of society and/or human nature. This conclusion writing step is all about students being reflective and helping their reader to think about the larger implications of what they “thought about” in their essay.

👉 Students usually stop at one level of “so what,” but I tell my students this is like peeling back layers of an onion. They can usually extend their thinking to find an even deeper insight . To extend, I have students continue to ask themselves why what they just wrote is significant, why it matters in the world, etc. So, this step is about playing the “so what” game until they arrive at that truly golden realization that really makes readers go “hmm, I never thought about it that way before.”

👉 Part of the very last sentence should be a “zinger.” In a nutshell, a zinger is a short, wise, or witty statement that is often a call to action, empathy, kindness, or self-reflection. Alternatively, a zinger can look toward the future and think about what might happen.

Zinger Example: “Without memory, there would be no civilization, no society, no future” – Elie Wiesel

Conclusion Paragraph Example

As you can see, in the example below, the student moves from a restated thesis to a quick review of how the main idea (evil in human nature) relates to the thesis. The author uses the stem “as ____________, readers questioned _____________” to create a bridge to the bigger question that ties evil in human nature back to the focus of the hook (superheroes).

From here, the student tries for a “so what,” discussing how evil vs. good grows in humans. This bit has a potential zinger in the realization that humans need to be their own heroes; however, it’s a bit cliche and can be pushed further.

The student continues and asks “so what” again. The final section has a more specific zinger in relation to something specific happening in the world today. It is both a call to action and self-reflection for the reader. I’m glad the student challenged herself to take this a step further so that this thinking happened.

Thesis: In Lord of the Flies, Golding hints that human nature is both good and evil. In the absence of societal norms, Golding’s characters underwent a social experiment.

Circle Back & Ask: In the absence of societal norms, Golding’s characters underwent a social experiment. As their savage nature took over, readers questioned why evil had taken over and no one stepped in to save the day until it was too late. Where was the Superman Jedi Princess on that island? And how can we make sure that good, not evil, wins in the end?

So What?: To answer this question, consider a basic principle of life: what we feed grows. We have to feed the better parts of our nature such as love, patience, self-control, and we have to starve the worst parts of our nature: jealousy, anger, pride, fear. We need to be our own heros and fight for what is right.

Extend: When we feed the good, evil is defeated. So what, you may ask. This means that every choice counts. Every person counts. While we cannot reverse societal trends that feed some of the worst parts of human nature, we can start with ourselves. The evil is always there, beneath the surface, just waiting to come out. Just look at all of the people panic buying toilet paper in the wake of Covid-19. Are you going to be that person fighting for more Angel Soft in aisle 19, or will you choose to feed the softer side of your humanity?

Conclusion Writing Activities

If you liked this post, you’ll want to check out the graphic organizers for intro and conclusion writing that go along with this strategy. I find that they help students to execute this conclusion writing strategy and also to join it to their introduction writing.

Grab them here from my web store: https://lindsayannlearning.com/product/introduction-and-conclusion-writing-graphic-organizers-slideshow/

Or here on Teachers Pay Teachers: https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Introduction-Writing-Graphic-Organizers-Distance-Learning-5356176

Hey, if you loved this post, I want to be sure you’ve had the chance to grab a FREE copy of my guide to streamlined grading . I know how hard it is to do all the things as an English teacher, so I’m over the moon to be able to share with you some of my best strategies for reducing the grading overwhelm.

Click on the link above or the image below to get started!

About Lindsay Ann

Lindsay has been teaching high school English in the burbs of Chicago for 19 years. She is passionate about helping English teachers find balance in their lives and teaching practice through practical feedback strategies and student-led learning strategies. She also geeks out about literary analysis, inquiry-based learning, and classroom technology integration. When Lindsay is not teaching, she enjoys playing with her two kids, running, and getting lost in a good book.

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Reader Interactions

from training.npr.org: https://training.npr.org/2016/10/12/leads-are-hard-heres-how-to-write-a-good-one/

Style Guide

A good lead is everything — here's how to write one

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(Deborah Lee/NPR)

I can’t think of a better way to start a post about leads than with this:

“The most important sentence in any article is the first one. If it doesn’t induce the reader to proceed to the second sentence, your article is dead.” — William Zinsser, On Writing Well

No one wants a dead article! A story that goes unread is pointless. The lead is the introduction — the first sentences — that should pique your readers’ interest and curiosity. And it shouldn’t be the same as your radio intro, which t ells listeners what the story is about and why they should care. In a written story, that’s the function of the “nut graph” (which will be the subject of a future post) — not the lead.

The journalism lead’s main job (I’m personally fond of the nostalgic spelling , “lede,” that derives from the bygone days of typesetting when newspaper folks needed to differentiate the lead of a story from the lead of hot type) is to make the reader want to stay and spend some precious time with whatever you’ve written. It sets the tone and pace and direction for everything that follows. It is the puzzle piece on which the rest of the story depends. To that end, please write your lead first — don’t undermine it by going back and thinking of one to slap on after you’ve finished writing the rest of the story.

Coming up with a good lead is hard. Even the most experienced and distinguished writers know this. No less a writer than John McPhee has called it “ the hardest part of a story to write.” But in return for all your effort, a good lead will do a lot of work for you — most importantly, it will make your readers eager to stay awhile.

There are many different ways to start a story. Some examples of the most common leads are highlighted below. Sometimes they overlap. (Note: These are not terms of art.)

Straight news lead

Just the facts, please, and even better if interesting details and context are packed in. This kind of lead works well for hard news and breaking news.

Some examples:

“After mass street protests in Poland, legislators with the country’s ruling party have abruptly reversed their positions and voted against a proposal to completely ban abortion.” (By NPR’s Camila Domonoske )

“The European Parliament voted Tuesday to ratify the landmark Paris climate accord, paving the way for the international plan to curb greenhouse gas emissions to become binding as soon as the end of this week.” (By NPR’s Rebecca Hersher )

“The United States announced it is suspending efforts to revive a cease-fire in Syria, blaming Russia’s support for a new round of airstrikes in the city of Aleppo.” (By NPR’s Richard Gonzales )

All three leads sum up the news in a straightforward, clear way — in a single sentence. They also hint at the broader context in which the news occurred.

Anecdotal lead

This type of lead uses an anecdote to illustrate what the story is about.

Here’s a powerful anecdotal lead to a story about Brazil’s murder rate and gun laws by NPR’s Lulu Garcia-Navarro :

“At the dilapidated morgue in the northern Brazilian city of Natal, Director Marcos Brandao walks over the blood-smeared floor to where the corpses are kept. He points out the labels attached to the bright metal doors, counting out loud. It has not been a particularly bad night, yet there are nine shooting victims in cold storage.”

We understand right away that the story will be about a high rate of gun-related murder in Brazil. And this is a much more vivid and gripping way of conveying it than if Lulu had simply stated that the rate of gun violence is high.

Lulu also does a great job setting the scene. Which leads us to …

Scene-setting lead

Byrd Pinkerton, a 2016 NPR intern, didn’t set foot in this obscure scholarly haven , but you’d never guess it from the way she draws readers into her story:

“On the second floor of an old Bavarian palace in Munich, Germany, there’s a library with high ceilings, a distinctly bookish smell and one of the world’s most extensive collections of Latin texts. About 20 researchers from all over the world work in small offices around the room.”

This scene-setting is just one benefit of Byrd’s thorough reporting. We even get a hint of how the place smells.

First-person lead

The first-person lead should be used sparingly. It means you, the writer, are immediately a character in your own story. For purists, this is not a comfortable position. Why should a reader be interested in you? You need to make sure your first-person presence is essential — because you experienced something or have a valuable contribution and perspective that justifies conveying the story explicitly through your own eyes. Just make sure you are bringing your readers along with you.

Here, in the spirit of first-personhood, is an example from one of my own stories :

“For many of us, Sept. 11, 2001, is one of those touchstone dates — we remember exactly where we were when we heard that the planes hit the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. I was in Afghanistan.”

On a historic date, I was in a place where very few Americans were present, meaning I’m able to serve as a guide to that place and time. Rather than stating I was in Afghanistan in the first sentence, I tried to draw in readers by reminding them that the memory of Sept. 11 is something many of us share in common, regardless of where we were that day.

Observational lead

This kind of lead steps back to make an authoritative observation about the story and its broader context. For it to work, you need to understand not just the immediate piece you’re writing, but also the big picture. These are useful for stories running a day or more after the news breaks.

Here’s one by the Washington Post’s Karen Tumulty , a political reporter with decades of experience:

“At the lowest point of Donald Trump’s quest for the presidency, the Republican nominee might have brought in a political handyman to sand his edges. Instead, he put his campaign in the hands of a true believer who promises to amplify the GOP nominee’s nationalist message and reinforce his populist impulses.”

And here’s another by NPR’s Camila Domonoske , who knows her literary stuff, juxtaposing the mundane (taxes) with the highbrow (literary criticism):

“Tax records and literary criticism are strange bedfellows. But over the weekend, the two combined and brought into the world a literary controversy — call it the Ferrante Furor of 2016.”

Zinger lead

Edna Buchanan, the legendary, Pulitzer Prize-winning crime reporter for the Miami Herald , once said that a good lead should make a reader sitting at breakfast with his wife “spit out his coffee, clutch his chest and say, ‘My god, Martha. Did you read this?’”

That’s as good a definition as any of a “zinger” lead. These are a couple of Buchanan’s:

“His last meal was worth $30,000 and it killed him.” (A man died while trying to smuggle cocaine-filled condoms in his gut.)

“Bad things happen to the husbands of Widow Elkin.” (Ms. Elkin, as you might surmise, was suspected of bumping off her spouses.)

After Ryan Lochte’s post-Olympic Games, out-of-the-water escapades in Rio, Sally Jenkins, writing in the Washington Post , unleashed this zinger:

“Ryan Lochte is the dumbest bell that ever rang.”

Roy Peter Clark, of the Poynter Institute, deconstructs Jenkins’ column here , praising her “short laser blast of a lead that captures the tone and message of the piece.”

Here are a few notes on things to avoid when writing leads:

Clichés and terrible puns. This goes for any part of your story, and never more so than in the lead. Terrible puns aren’t just the ones that make a reader groan — they’re in bad taste, inappropriate in tone or both. Here’s one example .
Long, rambling sentences. Don’t try to cram way too much information into one sentence or digress and meander or become repetitive. Clarity and simplicity rule.
Straining to be clever. Don’t write a lead that sounds better than it means or promises more than it can deliver. You want your reader to keep reading, not to stop and figure out something that sounds smart but is actually not very meaningful. Here’s John McPhee again: “A lead should not be cheap, flashy, meretricious, blaring: After a tremendous fanfare of verbal trumpets, a mouse comes out of a hole, blinking.”
Saying someone “could never have predicted.” It’s not an informative observation to say someone “could never have imagined” the twists and turns his or her life would take. Of course they couldn’t! It’s better to give the reader something concrete and interesting about that person instead.
The weather . Unless your story is about the weather, the weather plays a direct role in it or it’s essential for setting the scene, it doesn’t belong in the lead. Here’s a story about Donald Trump’s financial dealings that would have lost nothing if the first, weather-referenced sentence had been omitted.

One secret to a good lead

Finally, good reporting will lead to good leads. If your reporting is incomplete, that will often show up in a weak lead. If you find yourself struggling to come up with a decent lead or your lead just doesn’t seem strong, make sure your reporting is thorough and there aren’t unanswered questions or missing details and points. If you’ve reported your story well, your lead will reflect this.