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How to Write a College Transfer Essay (With Examples)

Lisa Freedland is a Scholarships360 writer with personal experience in psychological research and content writing. She has written content for an online fact-checking organization and has conducted research at the University of Southern California as well as the University of California, Irvine. Lisa graduated from the University of Southern California in Fall 2021 with a degree in Psychology.

Learn about our editorial policies

Bill Jack has over a decade of experience in college admissions and financial aid. Since 2008, he has worked at Colby College, Wesleyan University, University of Maine at Farmington, and Bates College.

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, over 1.2 million students are enrolled in college as a transfer student. Students may transfer for a variety of reasons ranging from academics to athletics to geography.

If you are in the process of transferring colleges it’s likely that you will have to write a personal essay as part of your transfer admissions process. Ultimately, there’s no one way to write a college transfer essay. Everyone is unique, and this individuality should shine through in your essays.

However, there are some recommended things to include, and even a real example essay that was used to successfully transfer college! In this post, we’ll help you write a powerful transfer essay so you can tell your story to the admissions committee.

Jump ahead to…

• Do’s and don’ts
• Why did you choose your current school?

What are your main reasons for transferring out of your current school?

Why do you want to attend the transfer school.

• Example essay

Additional resources

• Key takeaways
• Frequently asked questions

College transfer essays: The do’s and don’ts

Before we start, we want to cover a few basics do’s and don’ts about what your transfer essays should be about.

• Elaborate on how your current school has helped you progress towards your goals. Positivity is always a good thing!
• Research your prospective school (e.g. specific classes, organizations, opportunities) for why you want to go there.
• Make sure to follow the standard/correct essay format! Transfer essay prompts may vary from college to college so you should make sure that you’re answering the exact question.
• Use up your limited word count by listing negative aspects about your current school. Instead, focus on how it has helped you grow, but how another school could further help you develop your interests/passions 
• List a group of random classes or opportunities available at your new school. Mention opportunities you’re (genuinely) interested in that relate to your goals and passions – make sure you’re telling a story through your essay.
• Copy your initial admissions essay (the one that you used when applying to colleges in high school) – you’ve changed a lot during your time in college so you will want to write a brand new essay.

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What is the goal of the transfer essay.

Potential transfer students should know that not all colleges and universities require transfer essays, so when in doubt definitely check-in with the college in question for clarification. For the purposes of this article and the sample transfer essay, we’ll be using this prompt:

Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. 

Most colleges will be interested in learning why you want to transfer and how transferring will help you achieve your goals. However, specific prompts will vary from college to college, so you should definitely pay attention to the specific prompt you are asked to respond to.

Some of the common questions you’ll come across include:

• How will your transfer school help you accomplish your goals?

Below I’ll break down how to respond to each of these questions and include an example from a successful transfer essay.

Also see: Can you transfer into an ivy league school?

Why did you choose your current school? 

To answer this question, you’ll have to go back in time when you were in 12th grade and selecting your college. Did you choose the college because it had a program you liked? Maybe you really wanted to take classes with a specific professor? Maybe you thought you wanted to attend college in a specific part of the world? Whatever the reason you should lay it out in the most factual way possible.

Here’s how I responded to this question:

Just like Jeopardy, Criminal Minds is also a show that I have watched from a very young age, and one that I continue to watch quite regularly. Being exposed to this interesting world of FBI profilers for so long inspired me to want to dive into the world of psychology myself. Due to this, I originally chose the University of Wisconsin, Madison for its amazing psychology program, and because I wanted to try something new. Being from California, this “something new” came in the form of watching snow fall from the sky, seeing cheese curds being sold in all the grocery stores, and simply living somewhere far away from home.

Also see: How to write a 250 word essay

This is always an important question for transfer admissions officers: why did your current college not work out? We recommend that students be as honest as possible and stick to the facts (as opposed to simply complaining about your current school).

Students have very different reasons for changing schools, which often depend on what type of school you’re transferring from (a 2-year or 4-year). While many community college students transfer because their plans did work out and they’ve accomplished what they wanted to at their school, those transferring from four-year universities often do so for less positive reasons (which was my experience).

If the situation at your college didn’t exactly pan out as you thought it would, you should also try to talk about some of the ways you are making the most of the situation. This shows the admissions officers that despite the less-than-ideal circumstances, you have continued to learn, grow, and contribute to your community.

Here’s how I accomplished this:

Arriving in Wisconsin, I got exactly what I wanted: an amazing psychology program and the experience of being somewhere quite different from the place I called home. My classes were interesting, my professors were helpful and caring, and experiencing the first snow was quite exciting. However, as winter progressed, walking back from class everyday under the progressively gloomier sky seemed to be a cruel reminder that I was no longer in sunny Southern California. While eating dinner in our many dining halls, I always viewed the wide array of food available: quesadillas, Chinese food, burgers, even pecan pie. The food was all delicious, but going day after day without even seeing Korean food once made me miss those fun dinners with my family. Back at my dorm, my “home away from home”, it started to feel like anything but being at home. To feel more comfortable where I was, I decided to pursue things I liked, and that I was familiar with. My passion for psychology led me to join the university’s Psychology Club, where I was able to learn about recent revelations within the field of psychology, furthering my interest in the subject. 

Going through the admissions process as a transfer student is interesting, because you have learned a lot about yourself and your preferences at your first college. This should provide you with a great perspective on what you are looking for next.

The two major things you’ll want to accomplish when answering this question are why the transfer college in question is a good fit for you and how it can help you accomplish your goals as a student.

Specificity is always more ideal here so you can show that you have spent some time thinking about what you want and also how the new college fits.

Here’s how I did this:

I plan on using the knowledge I gain in psychology, either from organizations or classes, to help people. I want to one day apply this knowledge to research, to discover possible methods to help the people suffering from the psychological problems I study. Alternatively, I hope to use this knowledge as a criminal profiler, using my understanding of psychology to narrow down pools of suspects.  To be able to accomplish either of these, I need to develop a much deeper understanding of both people’s motivations for the things they do as well as of the many psychological issues people face. For these reasons, I am very excited at the prospect of exploring and enrolling in the classes offered by USC’s Department of Psychology. In particular, Psych 360: Abnormal Psychology would be an amazing introduction to psychological disorders and their causes. Psych 314L: Research Methods would then help me put this knowledge about disorders to good use by teaching me how to properly conduct research and find possible solutions for people’s problems.

College transfer essays: an example

Here we go! Throughout this article, I’ve shown you my college essay divided into sections, and now’s time for the full thing. I can honestly say that this essay had a 100% success rate! Without further ado, here is my full college transfer essay (and prompt):

Prompt: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. 

I wake up from my daily after-school nap to realize that it is already dinner time. As I walk downstairs, I smell the delicious fragrance coming from my mom’s samgyetang (Korean ginseng chicken soup), one of my favorite meals. Soon enough, everyone sits down to watch the newest episode of Jeopardy , a tradition we’ve had going on for as long as I can remember. As I take that first sip of samgyetang, and miss yet another geography question on Jeopardy – and wait for my family to inevitably tease me about it – I feel at home, like I am somewhere that I belong. Wherever I go, I hope I can encounter that same warm feeling. Just like Jeopardy , Criminal Minds is also a show that I have watched from a very young age, and one that I continue to watch quite regularly. Being exposed to this interesting world of FBI profilers for so long inspired me to want to dive into the world of psychology myself. Due to this, I originally chose the University of Wisconsin, Madison for its amazing psychology program, and because I wanted to try something new. Being from California, this “something new” came in the form of watching snow fall from the sky, seeing cheese curds being sold in all the grocery stores, and simply living somewhere far away from home. Arriving in Wisconsin, I got exactly what I wanted: an amazing psychology program and the experience of being somewhere quite different from the place I called home. My classes were interesting, my professors were helpful and caring, and experiencing the first snow was quite exciting. However, as winter progressed, walking back from class everyday under the progressively gloomier sky seemed to be a cruel reminder that I was no longer in sunny Southern California. While eating dinner in our many dining halls, I always viewed the wide array of food available: quesadillas, Chinese food, burgers, even pecan pie. The food was all delicious, but going day after day without even seeing Korean food once, it made me miss those fun dinners with my family. Back at my dorm, my “home away from home,” it started to feel like anything but being at home. To feel more comfortable where I was, I decided to pursue things I liked, and that I was familiar with. My passion for psychology led me to join the university’s Psychology Club, where I was able to learn about recent revelations within the field of psychology, furthering my interest in the subject. I plan on using the knowledge I gain in psychology, either from organizations or classes, to help people. I want to one day apply this knowledge to research, to discover possible methods to help the people suffering from the psychological problems I study. Alternatively, I hope to use this knowledge as a criminal profiler, using my understanding of psychology to narrow down pools of suspects.  To be able to accomplish either of these, I need to develop a much deeper understanding of both people’s motivations for the things they do as well as of the many psychological issues people face. For these reasons, I am very excited at the prospect of exploring and enrolling in the classes offered by USC’s Department of Psychology. In particular, Psych 360: Abnormal Psychology would be an amazing introduction to psychological disorders and their causes. Psych 314L: Research Methods would then help me put this knowledge about disorders to good use by teaching me how to properly conduct research and find possible solutions for people’s problems. With so many opportunities available at USC, I hope to not only help others feel more comfortable, but to find a second home for myself after all.

And that’s it! This essay touches on all of the tips listed above, and should serve as helpful inspiration as you begin your writing. Hopefully, it gives you an idea of how to integrate everything you should mention in a cohesive essay. With that, I wish you good luck with your college transfer essays (and applications)!

Don’t miss: What looks good on a college application?

If you finish your essay and still have questions about the transfer process, consider checking out these Scholarships360 resources:

• How to transfer colleges
• How to transfer from a community college
• Top scholarships for transfer students
• How to choose a college
• What’s the difference between a private and public university?

Key Takeaways

• Explain why you want to transfer, what you need that you are not getting at your current school, and why you chose your current school to begin with
• Always present things in a positive light
• Share how the transfer school will help you achieve your goals and why you are a good fit for the school

Frequently asked questions about writing college transfer essays 

How are college transfer essays different from regular application essays, do all schools require transfer essays, can i reuse my old college essays for a transfer, what should you not say in a transfer essay, scholarships360 recommended.

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How to Write a Winning College Transfer Essay

December 27, 2021

Much like snowflakes, DNA profiles, or interpretations of a David Lynch film, no two college transfer applicants are alike. Even if two prospective transfers to Boston University are both named Fred and each hail from Farmington, CT, their paths, and the contours of their academic journeys are probably quite different from one another. Perhaps Fred #1 is a first-generation college student who, for financial reasons, had to complete his freshman year at the local community college. Perhaps Fred #2 underachieved a touch in high school, gained admission into a less-selective state school where he excelled freshman year and is now highly-motivated to study at top school. Each Fred possesses an equally valid story to tell the BU admissions office, and doing so adeptly may well be the key to their acceptance. After all, 42% of all U.S. colleges—and close to 100% of highly-selective schools—cite the essay as being “important” to their transfer application decisions.

To cite another relevant statistic, 37% of all college students transfer at some point in their academic career and each has a worthwhile pathway to chronicle. Whether you’re Fred #1, Fred #2, or someone not even named Fred (imagine that!), you need your transfer essay to be so strong that it leaps right off the page and captures the attention (or, even better, heart) of an admissions officer. In the following article, the College Transitions team will explain precisely how to master this essential component of the transfer application.

Which Transfer essay prompt should I pick?

Starting in 2020-21, the Common App granted its member institutions the option of allowing their transfer applicants to select one of the seven current Common App essay prompts (that are available to freshman applicants).

Some schools will offer you this option, while others will simply ask you the equivalent of “Why are you applying to our university?” If you are given the choice between prompts, it is generally best to select the one that is most broad (note: a broad prompt is good, a broad essay is not) and allows you to compose an essay containing the following essential elements:

• 1) Why your prospective transfer school is a perfect fit for you.
• 2) Why your journey has led you away from your current institution.
• 3) What unique attributes and talents you will bring to campus.
• 4) How your past achievements and efforts can bolster your case.
• 5) Share your academic and career ambitions.

Let’s dive in and take a more thorough look at each component, beginning with #1.

1) Why this college is the perfect fit for you

Share with your prospective new academic home exactly what makes them attractive to you. Smaller class size, a particular academic program, a more diverse environment, or the opportunity to for hands-on learning/research opportunities are just a sampling of the legitimate selling points you can cite. Mention specific courses that you are eager to take at their institution, certain distinguished professors who you desire to study under, and unique clubs, activities, or campus traditions in which you are excited to partake. Take advantage of this chance to impress admissions officers with you expansive knowledge of their institution as well as a highly-specific accounting of how you will take advantage of your 2-3 years there. Doing so will separate you from the pack of similarly-qualified transfer applicants.

2) Why you want to leave your current college

Make sure that the reasons that you communicate for wanting to transfer do not end up sounding like a nasty Yelp review of your present school. While you may want to leave College X because the professors are all centenarian windbags and your roommate is breeding capybaras to sell on Craigslist (is there really a market for that?), remember that the school to which you are applying wants to feel wanted. Think about it—would you rather listen to your girlfriend/boyfriend rant about their ex or hear them tell you what makes you awesome? Admissions officers considering a transfer student feel the same way.

3) What unique attributes you will bring to campus

Even in the transfer admissions process, admissions officers are tasked with enhancing the diversity of their undergraduate student body and adding individuals who are likely to be contributing members of the campus community. Is there a particular club that you are eager to join or do wish to start your own? Do you desire to assist a professor in conducting research? Are you an a cappella star or club volleyball diehard? What books do you read for pleasure? Do you have a hidden talent or area of expertise? Are you an introvert or extrovert (both can be selling points)? What ideas, activities, or dreams keep you up in the middle of the night? Give the admissions reader a full picture of what your life will look at their school and how you will make more of an impact (in any form) than many of your fellow applicants.

4) Talk about your academic and extracurricular record

This is also a perfect opportunity to demonstrate your record of involvement on your current campus. It is far easier to sell yourself as someone who will be a contributing member of the campus community if you displayed these qualities at your previous college. Students with an eye on transferring are sometimes so focused on escaping their first institution that they fail to become involved in anything outside of the classroom and thus miss out on valuable opportunities to demonstrate leadership and passion—the very traits needed to transfer to a prestigious school. Write about what you are most proud of—a challenging physics exam you mastered, a philosophy paper you wrote arguing the compatibility of science and religion, or how you started a campus chapter of an organization dedicated to fighting pancreatic cancer.

5) Share your academic and career ambitions

The more you can use your essay to communicate your genuine passions and what makes you tick, the better. Doing so gives your essay broader context and deeper meaning, as it explains the true significance of all of the info shared in steps #1-4. If you want to major in biology, where do you see that taking you down the road? Are you considering graduate or medical school? Do you want to work in research in a specific area? You don’t have to be 100% sure of your career and future academic path at 19 or 20 years old, but as a transfer student, you should share where your experiences and interests may someday take you.

College Transfer Essay – Do’s and Don’ts

• Make a coherent and well-researched case for why the school to which you are applying would be a perfect fit for you.
• Explain how you spend your time outside of school whether it’s participation in a club or sport, paid work, or a hobby to which you are extremely dedicated.
• Paint a picture of the reasons why this new university is the right place to pursue your academic interests.
• Give the committee a sense of your talents and character/personal qualities. If your school does not offer interviews, this essay will be primary vehicle through which you can forge a personal connection to a fellow human being.
• Bash your current school or overly-focus on the negative.
• Make excuses for past academic performance of lack of outside the classroom involvement.
• Say that you want to attend a new school for the prestige, the pretty campus, or for a personal reason (close to home, girl/boyfriend attends, etc.).
• Forget to do adequate research on your prospective academic home. Details matter!
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Andrew Belasco

A licensed counselor and published researcher, Andrew's experience in the field of college admissions and transition spans two decades. He has previously served as a high school counselor, consultant and author for Kaplan Test Prep, and advisor to U.S. Congress, reporting on issues related to college admissions and financial aid.

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College Reality Check

How to Write Best College Transfer Essay: Secrets, Tips and Tricks

If the college you wish to transfer to is asking for a transfer essay, you can rest assured that it’s something that can have a considerable impact on the admissions decision.

As a matter of fact, you should consider submitting one even if it’s optional — it can work to your advantage should admissions officers compare you with another applicant with similar qualifications.

Since it’s not uncommon for the acceptance rates for transfer applicants to be lower than the acceptance rates for freshmen applicants, writing a winning one can help you win an acceptance letter.

How to Start a College Transfer Essay

Because it’s the very first thing that admissions officers will read, the introduction of a college transfer essay is an opportunity for the transfer applicant to stand out from other applicants.

While there are many ways to start a college essay, only a few of them can deliver each time.

Let’s take a look at some of the most commonly used opening techniques that never fail to engage admissions officers, thus making the task of getting to know you through your college transfer essay an enjoyable endeavor:

Open with an attention-grabbing sentence

The goal is to make admissions officers want to read the entirety of your transfer essay from the get-go. And that is why you should start yours with something that can get them hooked and curious enough right away.

Here are some examples of successful good openings from winning college essays submitted to Stanford:

• I have old hands.
• When I was in the eighth grade I couldn’t read.
• I change my name each time I place an order at Starbucks.

Describe a moment without revealing much

Opening with an image-based description of a particular moment without explaining much gives the audience, the admissions officers, a sense that something important is happening, the full significance of which is yet to be revealed, which is why it can keep them from wanting to grab another college essay to check out.

The following is an example of a great college transfer essay that takes advantage of this effective opening technique:

Bowing down to the porcelain god, I emptied the contents of my stomach. Foaming at the mouth, I was ready to pass out. My body couldn’t stop shaking as I gasped for air, and the room started spinning.

Create an expectation and then give a twist

Nothing can surprise admissions officers more than reading a bunch of sequential sentences establishing things that create a certain expectation by the readers only to take them in a different direction entirely.

Check out this college essay’s opening that leverages the twist approach to its full advantage:

I am on Oxford Academy’s Speech and Debate Team, in both the Parliamentary Debate division and the Lincoln-Douglas debate division. I write screenplays, short stories and opinionated blogs and am a regular contributor to my school’s literary magazine, The Glue Stick. I have accumulated over 300 community service hours that include work at homeless shelters, libraries and special education youth camps. I have been evaluated by the College Board and have placed within the top percentile. But I am not any of these things. I am not a test score, nor a debater, nor a writer. I am an anti-nihilist punk rock philosopher.

What to Write About in the Transfer Essay

The things to talk about in one’s college transfer essay depend on the prompt chosen. But generally speaking, it’s a good idea for transfer applicants to focus more on their postsecondary experience thus far.

And because the essay is for transfer admissions purposes, it’s also recommended to discuss future goals at the target institution.

It’s the body that’s the longest part of a college essay. As a result of this, as the word limit permits, the transfer applicant has plenty of room to demonstrate his or her creativity and writing skills as well as reasons for switching colleges.

However, it’s a must that the right matter is discussed in the main part of the transfer essay.

There’s something transfer applicants have that first-time, first-year applicants don’t: a higher education experience.

As such, it’s just suitable and necessary for them to talk about theirs in their college transfer essay.

After all, when reviewing transfer applications, admissions officers want to get to know how much applicants have grown since high school.

Generally speaking, the following are some of the most fitting things to write about when asked to submit a transfer essay — most college essay prompts, anyway, ask transfer applicants to discuss them:

• How you have grown from attending your current school
• What your specific goals are at your new school

How to Conclude Your Writing

Depending on the approach or method of choice, a college transfer essay can be concluded in a number of ways. For instance, the students may return to the beginning or look forward.

Ending on an action or revealing the main point, if not disclosed in the introduction and main body as a part of the preferred style, are also options for closing one’s college transfer essay.

In some instances, it’s a much better idea to know the things to avoid at all costs as far as putting your transfer essay to an end. The general consensus is that the following are some bad ones:

• Summarizing the essay
• Stating the point of the essay even if it’s obvious
• Opening the ending with cliché transitions
• Extending the desire to get accepted to the college

Tips for Writing the Best Transfer Essay

It’s important for admissions officers to know you beyond your GPA from your current college and test scores, which are required by many colleges and universities for transfer applicants to submit.

And that is why a transfer application essay is commonly a required material to include in one’s application other than the Common App or Coalition App essay.

Here’s a rundown of some dos and don’ts when it comes to writing a transfer essay so that you will find it even easier to remember the things to do to strengthen it and the things to avoid that can lower your admissions chances:

• Do focus on what you have learned. Talk about what you have discovered about yourself and what you want in life as a result of your experience at your current college. Needless to say, you should consider discussing the changes in your academic and professional goals that your college experience thus far has caused.
• Do point out the reasons for wanting to continue at another school. Of course, admissions officers at the college you are applying to would like to know why you want to switch schools. Remember to provide clear objectives and plans so that the school can have an idea of whether or not it could serve your needs better than your current institution.
• Do mention the things you like about the new college. Demonstrated interest is not considered in the admissions process at many institutions. Still, a college would be interested to know what about it that you like. Is it the academic program? How about the research opportunities available? Or is it the summer internships offered?

Don’ts

• Don’t bad mouth your current school. Avoid using your transfer essay as a platform for whining, enumerating everything you hate about the institution you are attending currently. However, there is nothing wrong in pointing out the obvious, as you will later find out in a couple of examples of successful transfer essays — so keep reading!
• Don’t use your current school as an excuse for having bad grades. While it’s true that a terrible program, campus culture or roommate can affect your academic performance negatively, there’s always a workaround for a determined and hardworking student. You don’t want the college you are eyeing to suspect that you are lazy.
• Don’t waste precious word count. Always keep in mind that it’s not just your transfer essay that the admissions officer at the college you are applying to will check out — they will, of course, also take a look at the rest of your application. To let them know you more, consider talking about things that are nowhere to be found in your Common App.

What Colleges are Looking for in Transfer Essays

According to the associate dean of admission at Hamilton College in New York colleges and universities are looking for the reasons why transfer applicants want to transfer .

She added that transfer essays are nothing like first-year essays that are more open-ended for the lack of the students’ postsecondary education experience.

True enough, a retired dean of admission and financial aid at Amherst College said that — still as a part of the same report — transferees should be more reflective about their educational goals due to their experience after high school.

Of course, different institutions have different prompts for transfer essays.

Most of them, however, want to see the very same things. And spearheading the short list is the transfer applicant’s future goals, both academically and professionally, and how transferring to the school can help in the achievement of those.

It goes without saying that the transfer applicant should be certain that the new school is a better fit for him or her than the current school. Being able to provide specific examples of why he or she deserves to be a part of the campus is also expected.

Otherwise, it’s not unlikely for the admissions officers to give any available spot to a more deserving transferee.

And to conclude this part of the post, here’s a 6-minute video of a college admissions reader talking about everything that any transfer applicant needs to include in his or her college transfer essay.

Two Transfer Essay Examples

It’s one thing to know how to write a good college transfer essay. But it’s another thing to know what a good college transfer essay looks like. And that is why in this part of this post I will give you a couple of examples of successful transfer essays, the kinds that won transfer applicants a much-coveted acceptance letter from their top-choice schools.

This first example is a transfer essay submitted to the University of Pennsylvania, in response to a prompt asking the applicant to state the reasons for transferring and the objectives he or she hopes to achieve using a minimum of 250 words:

My reasons for transferring are two-fold and equally important. Academics and campus life are arguably the most vital components of the college experience and these two areas at [current school] have been unsatisfying for me. My unhappiness at [current school] is rooted in the difference between my academic philosophy and [current school’s]. Based on my experience in class I feel like the educational emphasis at [current school] is on knowing and not learning. An example of this comes from my philosophy class in which one of the teacher’s most common responses to a question is, “let’s bracket that for now,” when the inquiry is not about something printed on the syllabus for that day. To me, this sort of teaching discourages curiosity and in a philosophy class, especially, a deeper discussion that strays from the lesson plan is what gives the class its significant and educational value. The process of learning is pared down to its most straightforward and austere so that the state of knowing can be achieved as soon as possible.

What I hope to get out of transferring is to find a school that fits my academic philosophy and believes that learning for the sake of learning is vital to a healthy education. My favorite part about classes is taking a long, winding, side-note-packed path on the way to knowing, and if we never get there it doesn’t matter because knowing isn’t the point of learning — learning is the point of learning.

As for campus life, the prevailing campus social culture has been disappointing to me. No one ever seems to tire of doing the same thing week after week and the students admit that none of the events they attend would be fun without alcohol. I prefer an environment where the sober experiences trump the drunken ones. The ongoing joke about extracurricular life is that all of the clubs and organizations are “drinking club with debate” or “drinking club with community service” and so in this manner. The students do their work so they can go out at night as opposed to doing their homework to learn something. The prevailing culture sets the tone for the whole school and creates an uninspired environment. I’d like to go to a school where the spirit is less unimaginative and more intellectually ambitious.

Both my academic and cultural concerns center on differing philosophies. The academic approach at [current school] is too pragmatic, especially given that I am a classics major, and the social life is too alcohol-centered for my liking. I’m aware that all college campuses have drinking and it is a part of college life, but I’m looking to transfer to a school where drinking is more a means to an end of socializing than an end in itself.

And now, this second example of a transfer essay submitted to the University of Texas at Austin was a response to a long prompt that basically ask applicants to talk about their current studies and future academic and professional goals:

I stood still, lost amidst a sea of towering figures. I felt the familiarity of being alone. Each time I change environments, it doesn’t come any easier. A broad-shouldered girl in a blue shirt asked accusingly me where I needed to be. Despite intimidating me at first, she turned out to be sweet and concerned for my well-being.

She took me to my classroom and introduced me to the other girls. They all seemed so different from me. My family left the United States when I was young, and during my ten years spent in India, I switched between three very different schools.

Accustomed to American schools that are relatively orderly and organized, it took time to adjust to India’s disorderly schools. Just as I started feeling comfortable with the unusual teaching methods of my new school, my parents transferred me to a more “cultural” school. With a total of seven students in the entire school, we learned in literal shacks.

My classmates were behind in their education and far below my grade level, so the teachers focused most of their time on them. I suffered greatly when I switched back into mainstream schooling. Now, it was my classmates who raced through their work. I was thrown, unprepared, into India’s rigorous education system. I struggled with constructing angles and balancing chemical equations. I had to work especially hard to make up for the time lost at my cultural school.

I made it through Tenth grade with extensive additional coaching. Despite my setback, I knew that I could do better. Through my classes, I began to develop an interest with the mathematical functions that power finance and accounting. My accounting teacher became my biggest inspiration. The way she related accounting procedures to current business crises convinced me to learn more. I started keeping up with companies’ corporate strategies and their effect on the economy.

Before my board exams, I completed additional work on my own and solved about 70 papers in preparation. The work ethic I acquired under her guidance is something that has stuck to me through the challenging times at community college. I continue to self-study with online courses offered on Khan Academy to further exceed expectations.

Additionally, my internship at the Pratham International School in the summer of 2016 gave me real-world experience with auditing and organizing financials. I applied my classroom and self-studying knowledge to help with vendor payment methods and profitable tuition pricing.

I also pursued an internship in the accounting department of The Home Depot. For the first time, I saw theoretical concepts come to life as I helped facilitate vendor payment methods and profitable product pricing. The chance to interact with higher-level financial managers gave me exposure to strategic decision-making and contingency planning.

I look forward to pursuing another internship and taking advantage of the connections provided by the McCombs School of Business. I hope the university will help connect me with fruitful opportunities to develop my business competencies. By participating in the Texas Stock Team and The University Finance Association, I can explore different interests and develop my network. I don’t have these opportunities at Houston Community College, and I don’t think any Texas university offers the unparalleled opportunities of UT. Doing research under award-winning professors like Laura Starks and Robert Parrino will give me a head start in the industry.

Like The University of Texas, I also want to transform myself and change the world. The past few months at Houston Community College have helped me realize that I need an environment with a limitless ceiling for growth. Since I have experienced many different educational environments, I have a good idea for what I seek while avoiding opportunities that may not be in my best interest. I bring a different perspective that will contribute to classroom discussions and be a valued addition to the McCombs community.

College Transfer FAQs

Before this post comes to an end, let’s answer some pressing questions many transfer applicants who are in the process of brainstorming for their college essay feel too embarrassed to ask:

Do all colleges require a transfer essay?

Not all institutions of higher education make a transfer essay a part of the admissions process for transfer applicants. However, many colleges do, including some of the most selective ones.

Some require transfer applicants to answer just a single prompt, while others oblige them to answer multiple prompts. Most prompts call for an explanation for wanting to attend the school.

Can you use a common topic for your transfer essay?

Admissions officers do not expect all transfer applicants to talk about never-before-seen topics in their college transfer essays.

Even a common topic can become fresh and exciting if the student discusses it from a unique perspective or gives it a surprising story arc. Needless to say, using an advanced or creative writing style can make any everyday topic new and exciting.

How do you cite sources in a transfer essay?

Compared to research and academic writing, a college essay, whether by a first-year applicant or a transferee applicant, is less formal. As such, using an established style of citing sources and providing a reference list is unnecessary.

The transfer applicant may instead cite sources casually in the essay, in practically any part where it will not disrupt the flow of thoughts.

How do you meet the word count limit?

Going past the word limit necessitates going over the transfer essay to eliminate any irrelevant details. Since brevity is an important component of a written piece, unnecessary words that clutter the submission should be removed, too.

On the other hand, sharing stories, feelings and insight by vividly describing them is a solution when struggling to reach the minimum word count.

What is a diversity essay?

A diversity essay is a supplementary essay some institutions of higher education or scholarships require that is focused on the unique identity, background, culture, beliefs or characteristics of the college applicant.

In most instances, a diversity essay is asked to be submitted as part of the admissions process where diversity is believed to be enriching for the campus community.

Recap: How to Write a Winning College Transfer Essay

In most instances, transfer applicants need to include a transfer essay in their application. There are recommended ways to open and close a transfer essay, such as the ones we talked about in this post, which can help increase one’s admissions chances — since transfer acceptance rates are generally lower, they need to ace every part of their application.

Transfer students, typically, have to talk about their experiences with their current school and their goals at the new school, which are things that admissions officers look for other than writing skill and creativity.

Take your time when writing your transfer essay because it’s an important component of your application.

Independent Education Consultant, Editor-in-chief. I have a graduate degree in Electrical Engineering and training in College Counseling. Member of American School Counselor Association (ASCA).

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Articles & Advice > Transfer Students > Articles

How to Write a Transfer Essay That Will Impress Admission Officers

Before writing your transfer essay, you need to ask yourself: Why are you applying to this college? Learn what else you should (and shouldn't) do here!

by Emily Dauenhauer Former Director of Undergraduate Enrollment Marketing, Sacred Heart University

Last Updated: Jun 8, 2023

Originally Posted: Oct 19, 2012

The transfer essay is your chance to introduce yourself to your dream school. As with your first college essay, there are certain strategies that work and others that should be avoided in order to make a lasting impression. But one simple question can be your main guideline: W hy are you applying to this school? A clear, concrete answer to this question should be a large part of a transfer student’s application essay. The application essay also provides transfer students with the opportunity to take responsibility for less-than-perfect grades, recognize academic challenges, and explain the steps they have taken to conquer them. And like a first-time, fresh-out-of-high-school college application essay, it should paint a picture of who you are. Here’s how to write an essay for what transfer admission counselors are looking for.

What admission counselors look for

“Transfer students generally have a very specific reason for wanting to leave one college and attend another, and that’s what I want to read about in the application essay,” says Cara Jordan, former Director of Transfer Admission at Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, Connecticut. “A student can share other information with me as well, but that ‘why’ must be included somewhere. I want to see why the student believes they and Sacred Heart are a good match.” And though these examples may be specific to one school, they reflect elements relevant to any transfer essay!

One student transferring from a local community college expressed in her essay her desire to be part of a diverse student body and taught by experienced professors invested in students’ success. “The staff and students I met during my campus visit showed me the potential Sacred Heart students have to achieve and succeed. It seems to be a real partnership, with teachers who are truly interested in helping their students meet challenges and be the best they can be. For me, a Business major, it was also impressive to see that many of the adjuncts who teach at Sacred Heart’s John F. Welch College of Business are not just well-respected instructors, but well-respected leaders out in the business field,” the student wrote. Available majors, social environment, internship opportunities, and class size are all common reasons that lead students to leave one school for another. In their essay, transfer students should explain these or other reasons as clearly and concisely as possible, taking advantage of the opportunity to show what they have learned about themselves and the kind of college they believe is right for them.

Related: 6 Important Pieces of the Transfer Admission Process

Follow the directions carefully

For the application essay and all aspects of the college or university application, transfer students also need to be sure to follow directions exactly : stick to word counts, submit all requested materials and information, meet deadlines, and pay close attention to details. The latter is especially important, Jordan says, because transfer admission officials generally pay close attention to details about each applicant too. She pointed out that although the National Association for College Admission Counseling says as many as one in three students enrolled in a two- or four-year college or university will at some point transfer, most school admission officials are able to give potential transfer students more personalized attention than first-time undergrads, since the overall volume of transfer applications is lower.

“It’s nice, because it gives admission officials like me the chance to really look at and meet each applicant and make sure we’re a good fit,” Jordan says. “Most transfer applicants have already proven they can do college-level work, so for many applicants, it’s a matter of determining whether they’re right for [the school], and whether [the school] is right for them. Successful college transfers occur when both sides communicate clearly, fully, and honestly. And from the student’s end, the transfer application essay is a big part of that.”

Transfer essay do’s and don’ts

Transfer essays should also serve as examples of your best work and should follow general college application essay/personal statement do’s and don’ts, including the following:

What you should do

• Keep your focus narrow:  You only have a few hundred words to tell a memorable story and show who you are. Focus on a single point or thesis.
• Be specific:  Develop your main idea with specific facts, events, quotations, examples, and reasons. Avoid clichéd, generic, and predictable writing by using vivid details. What concrete examples from your life can you include to distinguish yourself from other applicants?
• Write first, edit later:  The first objective in writing anything is to get it on the page first . Then you can go back and edit. Trying to edit as you go interrupts the process of getting your ideas out of your head and onto the page, causing you to lose your thoughts and forget what you were saying.
• Remember the “show, don’t tell” rule :  Be descriptive when writing. Use all of your senses and fill each paragraph with details. It’s specifics that will grab the attention of admission officials and give them something to hold onto—and remember you by.
• Put words in people’s mouths:  Dialogue, used appropriately, always makes an essay more interesting.
• Start your essay with an attention-grabbing introduction:  A compelling anecdote, quote, question, or engaging description will often capture admission officials’ attention.
• Proofread several times:  Typos and spelling or grammatical errors are a sign of carelessness. Also, don’t rely on your computer’s spell check program. Many software programs don’t know the difference between “there” and “their,” “its” and “it’s,” or similar words.

Related: How to Write a Strong and Unique Application Essay That Works for You

What you shouldn’t do

• Write what you think admission officials want to hear:  They read plenty of essays like that. Be yourself. Surprise them. Give them something unique.
• Write focus on information listed elsewhere in the application:  If you just rewrite your résumé, you’ve wasted the opportunity the essay affords and offered nothing new.
• Make things up:  Dishonesty shows—so just don’t do it.
• Summarize yourself in the introduction:  Remember that you’re telling a story that describes who you are, not introducing yourself at a party.
• Include information that doesn’t support your thesis:  Stick to the main idea you want to get across.
• Try to impress your reader with your vocabulary:  Simple language is generally the best and most effective. Plus, it’s easy to misuse thesaurus-generated synonyms.
• Do it alone:  Give your essay to a mentor and/or counselor to review your work —preferably someone who knows you well, who may be from your hometown or high school—both for errors and content. Friends and family can be helpful as well.
• Rush:  Give yourself the time needed to thoroughly work through the brainstorming, writing, and editing processes.

Related:  Admission Essay Ideas That Just Don't Work

For most transfer students, the picture of what you want your college life to be is significantly different than what it was just one or two years ago. “Transfer students generally have a clearer, more concrete picture of what they want out of their lives and where they want to be,” Jordan says. “They’re older and have experienced more, and they’ve had the chance to find out what college is like and whether a certain type of institution works or doesn’t.” Use this knowledge to highlight how your new school can help you attain this goal and you’ll be well on your way to a bright future.

Make transferring as easy as possible with  Our Best Advice for the Transfer Admission Process ,  filled with helpful blogs and articles written by experts and real transfer students alike. 

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How to Write a Transfer Essay

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Transfer essays are one of the most important if not the most important feature of a transfer application. In this presentation Moriah will breakdown the purpose of transfer essays, what makes a compelling transfer essay, and how transfer essays differ from first-year admissions essays.

Undergrad College: University of Pennsylvania '19

Major: English and Women’s Studies

Work Experience: I'm passionate about merging storytelling, psychology, and spirituality to co-create experiences that transform people. In addition to advising students with CollegeVine, I work as a life coach and freelance writer.

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Read 2 Transfer Student Essays That Worked

Strong transfer essays can help pave the way to admissions offers.

Read 2 Transfer Essays That Worked

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Though it isn't a golden ticket, a strong transfer essay may boost an applicant's odds of admission.

There are as many reasons to transfer colleges as there are transfer students. But regardless of why someone wants to move to a new institution, the process for doing so usually requires an admissions essay.

Colleges With the Most Transfer Students

Josh Moody Jan. 28, 2020

In a 2018 National Association for College Admission Counseling survey , 41.5% of colleges polled said a transfer applicant's essay or writing sample is of either considerable or moderate importance in the admission decision.

A compelling, well-written transfer essay doesn't guarantee acceptance – many other factors are at play, such as an applicant's GPA. However, a strong essay can be a factor that helps move the odds in the applicant's favor, says Kathy Phillips, associate dean of undergraduate admissions at Duke University in North Carolina.

Know What Colleges Are Looking For In a Transfer Essay

Some schools have prospective transfer students use the Common App or the Coalition Application to apply. In addition to the main essay, students may be required to submit a second writing sample or respond to short-answer questions, though this isn't always the case. Prospective students can check a college's website for specific guidance regarding how to apply.

Whatever application method they use, prospective students should be aware that writing a transfer essay is not the same as writing a first-year college application essay, experts advise. First-year essays are more open-ended, says Niki Barron, associate dean of admission at Hamilton College in New York. When applying as first-years, prospective students can generally write about any experience, relationship or goal that has shaped who they are as people, she says.

This contrasts with transfer essays, where the focus is typically narrower. Barron says she thinks of transfer essays as more of a statement of purpose. "We're really looking to see students' reasons for wanting to transfer," she says.

Katie Fretwell, the recently retired dean of admission and financial aid at Amherst College in Massachusetts, says prospective transfer students are in a position to be a bit more reflective about their educational goals because of their additional year or years of experience post-high school. The essay helps admissions officers get a sense of whether an applicant has done "an appropriate level of soul-searching about the match," she says.

Transfer Essay Examples

Below are two transfer essays that helped students get into Duke and Amherst, respectively. Both institutions are very selective in transfer admissions. For fall 2018, Duke had a transfer acceptance rate of 8% and Amherst accepted 4% of its transfer applicants, according to U.S. News data.

Hover over the circles to read what made these essays stand out to admissions experts.

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Transfer Essay Writing Guide: Craft a Winning Paper Fast

EssayEdge > Blog > Transfer Essay Writing Guide: Craft a Winning Paper Fast

Whether it is to transfer from a 2-year to a 4-year school or to pursue a program that is better aligned with their academic and career goals, transferring schools is becoming increasingly common. Although the negative stigmas of the past regarding transferring schools has largely faded, transfer students still tend to be given low priority in the admissions process. Because of this, you’ll need to make the most of your transfer essay in order to make a big impression on the admissions officers. Also, transfer essays usually have short word counts. In creating this limitation, the school is looking for you to provide them with your unique reasons for applying to their program.

The most successful essays always have the same basic qualities: maximizing the space available, staying specific, and showing enthusiasm.

Table of Contents:

Formulating your essay   

Planning ahead is essential for creating a great transfer essay. Without it, you’ll likely run out of room very quickly and either shortchange the conclusion or wind up with an essay that doesn’t have enough depth to be meaningful to the admissions officers. Therefore, use the first part of the essay to provide the admissions officers with sufficient background information from your school, work, and volunteer experience to show that you have the qualifications necessary to succeed at their school. Show the admissions officers why you now have the skills and experience to make the right choice and join a school where you will thrive while making a meaningful contribution.  

In the second half of the essay, go into detail about why you want to be part of the program. Name classes that will fill knowledge gaps that you have. Provide the names of professors whose work interests you and how their interests are similar to your own. Finally, remember to write about life outside of the classroom. Are there clubs or organizations that you look forward to joining? What about the campus setting? If you’re applying to schools in metropolitan areas, you might want to write about the cultural offerings. If you’re applying to a school in a college town, write about the benefits of being part of a tight-knit community. Most of all, let the admissions officers know that you will be proud to have a degree from their school.

Tips on How to Write a Transfer Essay

While we covered what’s most important in crafting a transfer essay, there’s still a list of other things you need to consider if you want to succeed. Like we mentioned earlier, this essay is your chance to make an impression on admission officers and may land you a class seat in the school that you want. As you don’t have a lot of space, everything counts.

Do a thorough research and show that you are interested . Learn more about the school you want to transfer to by reading about it online. In-depth analysis may provide you with unexpected insights that will bring additional weight to your writing, strengthening your essay. The more you know about the subject, the better.

Start and close memorably . Transfer essays are usually short, but quickly grabbing admission officers’ attention makes all the difference: they may put essays to the “Rejected” pile after several sentences and a glance at the content. Start with something unexpected but connected to why you transfer, weave it into the main body and close with a curious question or a joke (but pick one carefully).

Need help? Check out EssayEdge editing services:

Write, edit, proofread . Writing is always hard, more so if you need to be concise and specific at once. Do your research, think through about what you’re going to write, and get to drafting. An excellent essay won’t come out of the first draft, or maybe even the third, but it’s normal. If you did your research, know what to say, and read the tips, you’d make it to the final dot with a solid result. After, make sure to proofread your essay carefully a few times. Asking someone to take a look at your essay — a friend or professional editor – will help you improve it.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls in Transfer Essays

Writing about the school’s reputation.

Admissions officers are aware of their school’s reputation, so writing about reputation is probably a little too general to be meaningful in your transfer essay. Instead, focus on aspects of the school that are more personal to you. What does the school have that other schools don’t? Only you know why you have chosen a particular school, and different applicants can have widely different ‘most important reasons’ for applying. By writing about specific details, the admissions officers will be able to see that you have fully researched their school and made an informed choice in submitting your transfer application package.

Criticizing your previous school

Regardless of how bad things were or are, never criticize your current/previous school. While it is okay to write about how certain aspects of the school or program weren’t the right match for your goals, values or personality, always maintain a positive tone. Taking a negative tone will reflect badly on you as a person and not the school or program. There are good aspects to your current school. Be sure to briefly praise the school or highlight positive experiences you have had there but then quickly move on to why the school to which you are applying is the right place for you to take the next steps in your academic progress.    

Good & Bad Transfer Essay Examples

As you can see from the tips, crafting a winning transfer essay isn’t an easy feat. If you need inspiration or don’t like how your draft is shaping up, it’s always a sound idea to compare it to someone else’s writing. Here are two transfer essays examples , good and bad. The schools and people mentioned in them are purely fictional. 

Luckily for me, I had to learn that your dreams can quickly turn 360 degrees early on in my life. After a year in a coding school, I am now eager to acquire comprehensive knowledge of modern marketing in the California School of Digital Age Advertising & Marketing. I find that the school’s unique, adaptable approach to the curriculum will allow me to become a digital marketing expert who is ready to help brands and organizations market and promote themselves effectively in our changing times and the future. At CSDAAM, I want to learn Experiential Marketing and design customer journeys based on Augmented and Virtual Reality. I have been following the work of Professor Kate Chan for a long while and wish to learn from her exciting work at CSDAAM classes. I am also looking forward to adjacent classes, including Basics of Video Editing and Modern Visual Arts. They will help me learn the necessary tools, be more creative, and always get new perspectives on incoming challenges. Although my experience in learning how to code put my skills and mind to the test in an exciting way, I do not regret leaving the school to go down a completely different path. As I was learning programming languages and writing my first lines of code, I realized that I wanted to devote myself to a creative career fit for our times. After Visiting CSDAAM’s campus, learning more about its culture, and getting familiar with its professors’ work, I am confident that studying in this school is the best way to build a foundation for my new career. My mother was an English professor, my father was an insurance broker, and no one, even me, would have thought my life leads me to experiential marketing and eagerly submitting my application to CSDAAM.

Now that I think of it, I always wanted to be a part of a place like the California School of Digital Age Advertising & Marketing. While Tuscan Public Communications School has a reputation, it certainly did not turn out to be the dream school I had been hearing so much about. Most professors seemed to be preoccupied with themselves, not the students or, sometimes, even the subject itself. They were not the guiding beacons in the sea of knowledge, and sometimes it heavily influenced my grades and drained inspiration from me. CSDAAM, on the other hand, looks like a vibrant place that infuses its students with a go-getter attitude. I also realized that I was always highly enthusiastic about digital marketing, social media advertising and fake news, modern visuals arts, and other sophisticated subjects. I am eager to study with fervor every day and dive into what CSDAAM has to offer its workshops and challenges. Sometimes, you need to take a wrong turn to find the right road into the sunshine. I am sure CSDAAM is my real dream school.  

As you can see, the first essay is focused, clear, and shows that the applicant knows what they want and puts their determination in choosing the school on display. It also exhibits a high level of detail, indicating that the person learned a fair share of the school. In the “bad” one, the applicant flounders too much in what he disliked about their educational establishment, over relies on metaphors, and does not explain why he wants to join this school.  

No matter what made you decide to transfer from one institution to another, our task is to warn you that it’ll be tough. This process always requires a transfer student to submit an outstanding essay. If your writing skills aren’t good enough to present yourself well, order essays edit here.

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Sample College Transfer Essay

A Sample Essay by a Student Transferring From Amherst to Penn

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The following sample essay was written by a student named David. He wrote the transfer essay below for the Common Transfer Application in response to the prompt, "Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve" (250 to 650 words). David is attempting to transfer from Amherst College to the University of Pennsylvania . As far as admissions standards go, this is a lateral move—both schools are extremely selective. His letter will need to be extremely strong for his transfer application to be successful.

Key Takeaways: A Winning Transfer Essay

• Have a clear academic reason for your transfer. Personal reasons are fine, but academics need to come first.
• Stay positive. Don't speak badly of your current school. Emphasize what you like about your target school, not what you dislike about your current school.
• Be meticulous. Grammar, punctuation, and style matter. Show that you put time and care into your writing.

David's Transfer Application Essay

During the summer after my first year of college, I spent six weeks volunteering at an archaeological excavation in Hazor, site of the largest tel (mound) in Israel. My time in Hazor was not easy—wake-up came at 4:00 a.m., and by noontime temperatures were often in the 90s. The dig was sweaty, dusty, back-breaking work. I wore out two pairs of gloves and the knees in several pairs of khakis. Nevertheless, I loved every minute of my time in Israel. I met interesting people from around the world, worked with amazing students and faculty from Hebrew University, and became fascinated with the current efforts to create a portrait of life in the Canaanite period.

Upon my return to Amherst College for my sophomore year, I soon came to realize that the school does not offer the exact major I now hope to pursue. I'm majoring in anthropology, but the program at Amherst is almost entirely contemporary and sociological in its focus. More and more my interests are becoming archaeological and historical. When I visited Penn this fall, I was impressed by the breadth of offerings in anthropology and archaeology, and I absolutely loved your Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology. Your broad approach to the field with emphases on understanding both the past and present has great appeal to me. By attending Penn, I hope to broaden and deepen my knowledge in anthropology, participate in more summer field work, volunteer at the museum, and eventually, go on to graduate school in archaeology.

My reasons for transferring are almost entirely academic. I have made many good friends at Amherst, and I have studied with some wonderful professors. However, I do have one non-academic reason for being interested in Penn. I originally applied to Amherst because it was comfortable—I come from a small town in Wisconsin, and Amherst felt like home. I'm now looking forward to pushing myself to experience places that aren't quite so familiar. The kibbutz at Kfar HaNassi was one such environment, and the urban environment of Philadelphia would be another.

As my transcript shows, I have done well at Amherst and I am convinced I can meet the academic challenges of Penn. I know I would grow at Penn, and your program in anthropology perfectly matches my academic interests and professional goals.

Before we even get to the critique of David's essay, it's important to put his transfer into context. David is attempting to transfer into an  Ivy League  school. Penn is not the most selective of the country's top universities, but the transfer acceptance rate is still around 6% (at Harvard and Stanford, that number is closer to 1%). David needs to approach this effort at transfer realistically — even with excellent grades and a stellar essay, his chances of success are far from guaranteed.

That said, he has many things going for him — he is coming from an equally demanding college where he has earned good grades, and he seems like the type of student who will certainly succeed at Penn. He will need strong  letters of recommendation  to round out his application.

Analysis of David's Transfer Essay

Now on to the essay... Let's break down the discussion of David's transfer essay into several categories.

The Reasons for Transfer

The strongest feature of David's essay is the focus. David is pleasingly specific in presenting his reasons for transferring. He knows exactly what he wants to study, and he has a clear understanding of what both Penn and Amherst have to offer him. David's description of his experience in Israel defines the focus of his essay, and he then connects that experience to his reasons for wanting to transfer. There are lots of bad reasons to transfer, but David's clear interest in studying anthropology and archaeology makes his motives seem both well thought-out and reasonable.

Many transfer applicants are trying to move to a new college because they are running away from some kind of bad experience, sometimes something academic, sometimes something more personal. David, however, clearly likes Amherst and is running towards something—an opportunity at Penn that better matches his newly discovered professional goals. This is a big positive factor for his application.

The Common Transfer Application instructions state that the essay needs to be at least 250 words. The maximum length is 650 words. David's essay comes in at around 380 words. It is tight and concise. He doesn't waste time talking about his disappointments with Amherst, nor does he put much effort into explaining the things that other parts of his application will cover such as grades and extracurricular involvement. He does have a lot more space left to elaborate, but in this case the letter gets the job done well with few words.

David gets the tone perfect, something that is difficult to do in a transfer essay. Let's face it—if you are transferring it is because there is something about your current school that you don't like. It's easy to be negative and critical of your classes, your professors, your college environment, and so on. It's also easy to come across as a whiner or an ungenerous and angry person who doesn't have the inner resources to make the most of one's circumstances. David avoids these pitfalls. His representation of Amherst is extremely positive. He praises the school while noting that the curricular offerings do not match his professional goals.

The Personality

Partly because of the tone discussed above, David comes across as a pleasant person, someone who the admissions folks are likely to want to have as part of their campus community. Moreover, David presents himself as someone who likes to push himself to grow. He is honest in his reasons for going to Amherst—the school seemed like a good "fit" given his small-town upbringing. It is, therefore, impressive to see him so actively working to expand his experiences beyond his provincial roots. David has clearly grown at Amherst, and he is looking forward to growing more at Penn.

The Writing

When applying to a place like Penn, the technical aspects of the writing need to be flawless. David's prose is clear, engaging and free of errors. If you struggle on this front, be sure to check out these  tips for improving your essay's style . And if grammar isn't your greatest strength, be sure to work through your essay with someone who does have strong grammar skills.

A Final Word on David's Transfer Essay

David's college transfer essay does exactly what an essay needs to do, and he includes the features of a strong transfer essay . He clearly articulates his reasons for transferring, and he does so in a positive and specific way. David presents himself as a serious student with clear academic and professional goals. We have little doubt that he has the skills and intellectual curiosity to succeed at Penn, and he has made a strong argument about why this particular transfer makes a lot of sense.

Odds are still against David's success given the competitive nature of Ivy League transfers, but he has strengthened his application with his essay.

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