thesis statement practice with answers

Practice in Identifying Effective Thesis Statements

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This exercise will help you understand the difference between an effective and ineffective thesis statement , ie a sentence that identifies the main idea and central purpose of an essay .

Instructions

For each pair of sentences below, select the one that you think would make the more effective thesis in the introductory paragraph of a short essay (approximately 400 to 600 words). Keep in mind that an effective thesis statement should be sharply focused and specific , not just a general statement of fact.

When you're done, you may want to discuss your answers with your classmates, and then compare your responses with the suggested answers on page two. Be ready to defend your choices. Because these thesis statements appear outside the context of complete essays, all responses are judgment calls, not absolute certainties.

(a) The Hunger Games is a science fiction adventure film based on the novel of the same name by Suzanne Collins. (b) The Hunger Games is a morality tale about the dangers of a political system that is dominated by the wealthy.
(a) There is no question that cell phones have changed our lives in a very big way. (b) While cell phones provide freedom and mobility, they can also become a leash, compelling users to answer them anywhere and at any time.
(a) Finding a job is never easy, but it can be especially hard when the economy is still feeling the effects of a recession and employers are reluctant to hire new workers. (b) College students looking for part-time work should begin their search by taking advantage of job-finding resources on campus.
(a) For the past three decades, coconut oil has been unjustly criticized as an artery-clogging saturated fat. (b) Cooking oil is plant, animal, or synthetic fat that is used in frying, baking, and other types of cooking.
(a) There have been over 200 movies about Count Dracula, most of them only very loosely based on the novel published by Bram Stoker in 1897. (b) Despite its title, Bram Stoker's Dracula , a film directed by Francis Ford Coppola, takes considerable liberties with Stoker's novel.
(a) There are several steps that teachers can take to encourage academic integrity and curtail cheating in their classes. (b) There is an epidemic of cheating in America's schools and colleges, and there are no easy solutions to this problem.
(a) J. Robert Oppenheimer, the American physicist who directed the building of the first atomic bombs during World War II, had technical, moral, and political reasons for opposing the development of the hydrogen bomb. (b) J. Robert Oppenheimer often referred to as "the father of the atomic bomb," was born in New York City in 1904.
(a) The iPad has revolutionized the mobile-computing landscape and created a huge profit stream for Apple. (b) The iPad, with its relatively large high-definition screen, has helped to revitalize the comic book industry.
(a) Like other addictive behaviors, Internet addiction may have serious negative consequences, including academic failure, job loss, and a breakdown in personal relationships. (b) Drug and alcohol addiction is a major problem in the world today, and many people suffer from it.
(a) When I was a child I used to visit my grandmother in Moline every Sunday. (b) Every Sunday we visited my grandmother, who lived in a tiny house that was undeniably haunted.
(a) The bicycle was introduced in the nineteenth century and rapidly grew into a worldwide phenomenon. (b) In several ways, bicycles today are better than they were 100 or even 50 years ago.
(a) Although many varieties of beans belong in a healthy diet, among the most nutritious are black beans, kidney beans, chickpeas, and pinto beans. (b) Although beans are generally good for you, some kinds of raw beans can be dangerous if they're not well cooked.

What is a thesis statement?

A thesis statement . . .

Makes an argumentative assertion about a topic; it states the conclusions that you have reached about your topic.
Makes a promise to the reader about the scope, purpose, and direction of your paper.
Is focused and specific enough to be “proven” within the boundaries of your paper.
Is generally located near the end of the introduction ; sometimes, in a long paper, the thesis will be expressed in several sentences or in an entire paragraph.
Identifies the relationships between the pieces of evidence that you are using to support your argument.

Not all papers require thesis statements! Ask your instructor if you’re in doubt whether you need one.

Identify a topic

Your topic is the subject about which you will write. Your assignment may suggest several ways of looking at a topic; or it may name a fairly general concept that you will explore or analyze in your paper.

Consider what your assignment asks you to do

Inform yourself about your topic, focus on one aspect of your topic, ask yourself whether your topic is worthy of your efforts, generate a topic from an assignment.

Below are some possible topics based on sample assignments.

Sample assignment 1

Analyze Spain’s neutrality in World War II.

Identified topic

Franco’s role in the diplomatic relationships between the Allies and the Axis

This topic avoids generalities such as “Spain” and “World War II,” addressing instead on Franco’s role (a specific aspect of “Spain”) and the diplomatic relations between the Allies and Axis (a specific aspect of World War II).

Sample assignment 2

Analyze one of Homer’s epic similes in the Iliad.

The relationship between the portrayal of warfare and the epic simile about Simoisius at 4.547-64.

This topic focuses on a single simile and relates it to a single aspect of the Iliad ( warfare being a major theme in that work).

Developing a Thesis Statement–Additional information

Your assignment may suggest several ways of looking at a topic, or it may name a fairly general concept that you will explore or analyze in your paper. You’ll want to read your assignment carefully, looking for key terms that you can use to focus your topic.

Sample assignment: Analyze Spain’s neutrality in World War II Key terms: analyze, Spain’s neutrality, World War II

After you’ve identified the key words in your topic, the next step is to read about them in several sources, or generate as much information as possible through an analysis of your topic. Obviously, the more material or knowledge you have, the more possibilities will be available for a strong argument. For the sample assignment above, you’ll want to look at books and articles on World War II in general, and Spain’s neutrality in particular.

As you consider your options, you must decide to focus on one aspect of your topic. This means that you cannot include everything you’ve learned about your topic, nor should you go off in several directions. If you end up covering too many different aspects of a topic, your paper will sprawl and be unconvincing in its argument, and it most likely will not fulfull the assignment requirements.

For the sample assignment above, both Spain’s neutrality and World War II are topics far too broad to explore in a paper. You may instead decide to focus on Franco’s role in the diplomatic relationships between the Allies and the Axis , which narrows down what aspects of Spain’s neutrality and World War II you want to discuss, as well as establishes a specific link between those two aspects.

Before you go too far, however, ask yourself whether your topic is worthy of your efforts. Try to avoid topics that already have too much written about them (i.e., “eating disorders and body image among adolescent women”) or that simply are not important (i.e. “why I like ice cream”). These topics may lead to a thesis that is either dry fact or a weird claim that cannot be supported. A good thesis falls somewhere between the two extremes. To arrive at this point, ask yourself what is new, interesting, contestable, or controversial about your topic.

As you work on your thesis, remember to keep the rest of your paper in mind at all times . Sometimes your thesis needs to evolve as you develop new insights, find new evidence, or take a different approach to your topic.

Derive a main point from topic

Once you have a topic, you will have to decide what the main point of your paper will be. This point, the “controlling idea,” becomes the core of your argument (thesis statement) and it is the unifying idea to which you will relate all your sub-theses. You can then turn this “controlling idea” into a purpose statement about what you intend to do in your paper.

Look for patterns in your evidence

Compose a purpose statement.

Consult the examples below for suggestions on how to look for patterns in your evidence and construct a purpose statement.

Franco first tried to negotiate with the Axis
Franco turned to the Allies when he couldn’t get some concessions that he wanted from the Axis

Possible conclusion:

Spain’s neutrality in WWII occurred for an entirely personal reason: Franco’s desire to preserve his own (and Spain’s) power.

Purpose statement

This paper will analyze Franco’s diplomacy during World War II to see how it contributed to Spain’s neutrality.

The simile compares Simoisius to a tree, which is a peaceful, natural image.
The tree in the simile is chopped down to make wheels for a chariot, which is an object used in warfare.

At first, the simile seems to take the reader away from the world of warfare, but we end up back in that world by the end.

This paper will analyze the way the simile about Simoisius at 4.547-64 moves in and out of the world of warfare.

Derive purpose statement from topic

To find out what your “controlling idea” is, you have to examine and evaluate your evidence . As you consider your evidence, you may notice patterns emerging, data repeated in more than one source, or facts that favor one view more than another. These patterns or data may then lead you to some conclusions about your topic and suggest that you can successfully argue for one idea better than another.

For instance, you might find out that Franco first tried to negotiate with the Axis, but when he couldn’t get some concessions that he wanted from them, he turned to the Allies. As you read more about Franco’s decisions, you may conclude that Spain’s neutrality in WWII occurred for an entirely personal reason: his desire to preserve his own (and Spain’s) power. Based on this conclusion, you can then write a trial thesis statement to help you decide what material belongs in your paper.

Sometimes you won’t be able to find a focus or identify your “spin” or specific argument immediately. Like some writers, you might begin with a purpose statement just to get yourself going. A purpose statement is one or more sentences that announce your topic and indicate the structure of the paper but do not state the conclusions you have drawn . Thus, you might begin with something like this:

This paper will look at modern language to see if it reflects male dominance or female oppression.
I plan to analyze anger and derision in offensive language to see if they represent a challenge of society’s authority.

At some point, you can turn a purpose statement into a thesis statement. As you think and write about your topic, you can restrict, clarify, and refine your argument, crafting your thesis statement to reflect your thinking.

As you work on your thesis, remember to keep the rest of your paper in mind at all times. Sometimes your thesis needs to evolve as you develop new insights, find new evidence, or take a different approach to your topic.

Compose a draft thesis statement

If you are writing a paper that will have an argumentative thesis and are having trouble getting started, the techniques in the table below may help you develop a temporary or “working” thesis statement.

Begin with a purpose statement that you will later turn into a thesis statement.

Assignment: Discuss the history of the Reform Party and explain its influence on the 1990 presidential and Congressional election.

Purpose Statement: This paper briefly sketches the history of the grassroots, conservative, Perot-led Reform Party and analyzes how it influenced the economic and social ideologies of the two mainstream parties.

Question-to-Assertion

If your assignment asks a specific question(s), turn the question(s) into an assertion and give reasons why it is true or reasons for your opinion.

Assignment : What do Aylmer and Rappaccini have to be proud of? Why aren’t they satisfied with these things? How does pride, as demonstrated in “The Birthmark” and “Rappaccini’s Daughter,” lead to unexpected problems?

Beginning thesis statement: Alymer and Rappaccinni are proud of their great knowledge; however, they are also very greedy and are driven to use their knowledge to alter some aspect of nature as a test of their ability. Evil results when they try to “play God.”

Write a sentence that summarizes the main idea of the essay you plan to write.

Main idea: The reason some toys succeed in the market is that they appeal to the consumers’ sense of the ridiculous and their basic desire to laugh at themselves.

Make a list of the ideas that you want to include; consider the ideas and try to group them.

nature = peaceful
war matériel = violent (competes with 1?)
need for time and space to mourn the dead
war is inescapable (competes with 3?)

Use a formula to arrive at a working thesis statement (you will revise this later).

although most readers of _______ have argued that _______, closer examination shows that _______.
_______ uses _______ and _____ to prove that ________.
phenomenon x is a result of the combination of __________, __________, and _________.

What to keep in mind as you draft an initial thesis statement

Beginning statements obtained through the methods illustrated above can serve as a framework for planning or drafting your paper, but remember they’re not yet the specific, argumentative thesis you want for the final version of your paper. In fact, in its first stages, a thesis statement usually is ill-formed or rough and serves only as a planning tool.

As you write, you may discover evidence that does not fit your temporary or “working” thesis. Or you may reach deeper insights about your topic as you do more research, and you will find that your thesis statement has to be more complicated to match the evidence that you want to use.

You must be willing to reject or omit some evidence in order to keep your paper cohesive and your reader focused. Or you may have to revise your thesis to match the evidence and insights that you want to discuss. Read your draft carefully, noting the conclusions you have drawn and the major ideas which support or prove those conclusions. These will be the elements of your final thesis statement.

Sometimes you will not be able to identify these elements in your early drafts, but as you consider how your argument is developing and how your evidence supports your main idea, ask yourself, “ What is the main point that I want to prove/discuss? ” and “ How will I convince the reader that this is true? ” When you can answer these questions, then you can begin to refine the thesis statement.

Refine and polish the thesis statement

To get to your final thesis, you’ll need to refine your draft thesis so that it’s specific and arguable.

Ask if your draft thesis addresses the assignment
Question each part of your draft thesis
Clarify vague phrases and assertions
Investigate alternatives to your draft thesis

Consult the example below for suggestions on how to refine your draft thesis statement.

Sample Assignment

Choose an activity and define it as a symbol of American culture. Your essay should cause the reader to think critically about the society which produces and enjoys that activity.

Ask The phenomenon of drive-in facilities is an interesting symbol of american culture, and these facilities demonstrate significant characteristics of our society.This statement does not fulfill the assignment because it does not require the reader to think critically about society.

Drive-ins are an interesting symbol of American culture because they represent Americans’ significant creativity and business ingenuity.

Among the types of drive-in facilities familiar during the twentieth century, drive-in movie theaters best represent American creativity, not merely because they were the forerunner of later drive-ins and drive-throughs, but because of their impact on our culture: they changed our relationship to the automobile, changed the way people experienced movies, and changed movie-going into a family activity.

While drive-in facilities such as those at fast-food establishments, banks, pharmacies, and dry cleaners symbolize America’s economic ingenuity, they also have affected our personal standards.

While drive-in facilities such as those at fast- food restaurants, banks, pharmacies, and dry cleaners symbolize (1) Americans’ business ingenuity, they also have contributed (2) to an increasing homogenization of our culture, (3) a willingness to depersonalize relationships with others, and (4) a tendency to sacrifice quality for convenience.

This statement is now specific and fulfills all parts of the assignment. This version, like any good thesis, is not self-evident; its points, 1-4, will have to be proven with evidence in the body of the paper. The numbers in this statement indicate the order in which the points will be presented. Depending on the length of the paper, there could be one paragraph for each numbered item or there could be blocks of paragraph for even pages for each one.

Complete the final thesis statement

The bottom line.

As you move through the process of crafting a thesis, you’ll need to remember four things:

Context matters! Think about your course materials and lectures. Try to relate your thesis to the ideas your instructor is discussing.
As you go through the process described in this section, always keep your assignment in mind . You will be more successful when your thesis (and paper) responds to the assignment than if it argues a semi-related idea.
Your thesis statement should be precise, focused, and contestable ; it should predict the sub-theses or blocks of information that you will use to prove your argument.
Make sure that you keep the rest of your paper in mind at all times. Change your thesis as your paper evolves, because you do not want your thesis to promise more than your paper actually delivers.

In the beginning, the thesis statement was a tool to help you sharpen your focus, limit material and establish the paper’s purpose. When your paper is finished, however, the thesis statement becomes a tool for your reader. It tells the reader what you have learned about your topic and what evidence led you to your conclusion. It keeps the reader on track–well able to understand and appreciate your argument.

Writing Process and Structure

This is an accordion element with a series of buttons that open and close related content panels.

Getting Started with Your Paper

Interpreting Writing Assignments from Your Courses

Generating Ideas for

Creating an Argument

Thesis vs. Purpose Statements

Architecture of Arguments

Working with Sources

Quoting and Paraphrasing Sources

Using Literary Quotations

Citing Sources in Your Paper

Drafting Your Paper

Generating Ideas for Your Paper

Introductions

Paragraphing

Developing Strategic Transitions

Conclusions

Revising Your Paper

Peer Reviews

Reverse Outlines

Revising an Argumentative Paper

Revision Strategies for Longer Projects

Finishing Your Paper

Twelve Common Errors: An Editing Checklist

How to Proofread your Paper

Writing Collaboratively

Collaborative and Group Writing

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How to write a thesis statement, what is a thesis statement.

Almost all of us—even if we don’t do it consciously—look early in an essay for a one- or two-sentence condensation of the argument or analysis that is to follow. We refer to that condensation as a thesis statement.

Why Should Your Essay Contain a Thesis Statement?

to test your ideas by distilling them into a sentence or two
to better organize and develop your argument
to provide your reader with a “guide” to your argument

In general, your thesis statement will accomplish these goals if you think of the thesis as the answer to the question your paper explores.

How Can You Write a Good Thesis Statement?

Here are some helpful hints to get you started. You can either scroll down or select a link to a specific topic.

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not Assigned How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned

Almost all assignments, no matter how complicated, can be reduced to a single question. Your first step, then, is to distill the assignment into a specific question. For example, if your assignment is, “Write a report to the local school board explaining the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class,” turn the request into a question like, “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” After you’ve chosen the question your essay will answer, compose one or two complete sentences answering that question.

Q: “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” A: “The potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class are . . .”

A: “Using computers in a fourth-grade class promises to improve . . .”

The answer to the question is the thesis statement for the essay.

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How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not Assigned

Even if your assignment doesn’t ask a specific question, your thesis statement still needs to answer a question about the issue you’d like to explore. In this situation, your job is to figure out what question you’d like to write about.

A good thesis statement will usually include the following four attributes:

take on a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree
deal with a subject that can be adequately treated given the nature of the assignment
express one main idea
assert your conclusions about a subject

Let’s see how to generate a thesis statement for a social policy paper.

Brainstorm the topic . Let’s say that your class focuses upon the problems posed by changes in the dietary habits of Americans. You find that you are interested in the amount of sugar Americans consume.

You start out with a thesis statement like this:

Sugar consumption.

This fragment isn’t a thesis statement. Instead, it simply indicates a general subject. Furthermore, your reader doesn’t know what you want to say about sugar consumption.

Narrow the topic . Your readings about the topic, however, have led you to the conclusion that elementary school children are consuming far more sugar than is healthy.

You change your thesis to look like this:

Reducing sugar consumption by elementary school children.

This fragment not only announces your subject, but it focuses on one segment of the population: elementary school children. Furthermore, it raises a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree, because while most people might agree that children consume more sugar than they used to, not everyone would agree on what should be done or who should do it. You should note that this fragment is not a thesis statement because your reader doesn’t know your conclusions on the topic.

Take a position on the topic. After reflecting on the topic a little while longer, you decide that what you really want to say about this topic is that something should be done to reduce the amount of sugar these children consume.

You revise your thesis statement to look like this:

More attention should be paid to the food and beverage choices available to elementary school children.

This statement asserts your position, but the terms more attention and food and beverage choices are vague.

Use specific language . You decide to explain what you mean about food and beverage choices , so you write:

Experts estimate that half of elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar.

This statement is specific, but it isn’t a thesis. It merely reports a statistic instead of making an assertion.

Make an assertion based on clearly stated support. You finally revise your thesis statement one more time to look like this:

Because half of all American elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar, schools should be required to replace the beverages in soda machines with healthy alternatives.

Notice how the thesis answers the question, “What should be done to reduce sugar consumption by children, and who should do it?” When you started thinking about the paper, you may not have had a specific question in mind, but as you became more involved in the topic, your ideas became more specific. Your thesis changed to reflect your new insights.

How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One

1. a strong thesis statement takes some sort of stand..

Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you are writing a paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Here are two thesis statements:

There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement.

This is a weak thesis statement. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase negative and positive aspects is vague.

Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of muscle and lean body mass, it poses a potential danger to customers.

This is a strong thesis because it takes a stand, and because it's specific.

2. A strong thesis statement justifies discussion.

Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements:

My family is an extended family.

This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. Your reader won’t be able to tell the point of the statement, and will probably stop reading.

While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.

This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view. A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial. Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point.

3. A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea.

Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper. For example:

Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages can provide both advertising and customer support.

This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write:

Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should exploit this potential by using Web pages that offer both advertising and customer support.

This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. Hint: a great many clear and engaging thesis statements contain words like because , since , so , although , unless , and however .

4. A strong thesis statement is specific.

A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic. For example, if you're writing a seven-to-ten page paper on hunger, you might say:

World hunger has many causes and effects.

This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. First, world hunger can’t be discussed thoroughly in seven to ten pages. Second, many causes and effects is vague. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. A revised thesis might look like this:

Hunger persists in Glandelinia because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is rarely profitable.

This is a strong thesis statement because it narrows the subject to a more specific and manageable topic, and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger.

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Think of yourself as a member of a jury, listening to a lawyer who is presenting an opening argument. You'll want to know very soon whether the lawyer believes the accused to be guilty or not guilty, and how the lawyer plans to convince you. Readers of academic essays are like jury members: before they have read too far, they want to know what the essay argues as well as how the writer plans to make the argument. After reading your thesis statement, the reader should think, "This essay is going to try to convince me of something. I'm not convinced yet, but I'm interested to see how I might be."

An effective thesis cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." A thesis is not a topic; nor is it a fact; nor is it an opinion. "Reasons for the fall of communism" is a topic. "Communism collapsed in Eastern Europe" is a fact known by educated people. "The fall of communism is the best thing that ever happened in Europe" is an opinion. (Superlatives like "the best" almost always lead to trouble. It's impossible to weigh every "thing" that ever happened in Europe. And what about the fall of Hitler? Couldn't that be "the best thing"?)

A good thesis has two parts. It should tell what you plan to argue, and it should "telegraph" how you plan to argue—that is, what particular support for your claim is going where in your essay.

Steps in Constructing a Thesis

First, analyze your primary sources. Look for tension, interest, ambiguity, controversy, and/or complication. Does the author contradict himself or herself? Is a point made and later reversed? What are the deeper implications of the author's argument? Figuring out the why to one or more of these questions, or to related questions, will put you on the path to developing a working thesis. (Without the why, you probably have only come up with an observation—that there are, for instance, many different metaphors in such-and-such a poem—which is not a thesis.)

Once you have a working thesis, write it down. There is nothing as frustrating as hitting on a great idea for a thesis, then forgetting it when you lose concentration. And by writing down your thesis you will be forced to think of it clearly, logically, and concisely. You probably will not be able to write out a final-draft version of your thesis the first time you try, but you'll get yourself on the right track by writing down what you have.

Keep your thesis prominent in your introduction. A good, standard place for your thesis statement is at the end of an introductory paragraph, especially in shorter (5-15 page) essays. Readers are used to finding theses there, so they automatically pay more attention when they read the last sentence of your introduction. Although this is not required in all academic essays, it is a good rule of thumb.

Anticipate the counterarguments. Once you have a working thesis, you should think about what might be said against it. This will help you to refine your thesis, and it will also make you think of the arguments that you'll need to refute later on in your essay. (Every argument has a counterargument. If yours doesn't, then it's not an argument—it may be a fact, or an opinion, but it is not an argument.)

This statement is on its way to being a thesis. However, it is too easy to imagine possible counterarguments. For example, a political observer might believe that Dukakis lost because he suffered from a "soft-on-crime" image. If you complicate your thesis by anticipating the counterargument, you'll strengthen your argument, as shown in the sentence below.

Some Caveats and Some Examples

A thesis is never a question. Readers of academic essays expect to have questions discussed, explored, or even answered. A question ("Why did communism collapse in Eastern Europe?") is not an argument, and without an argument, a thesis is dead in the water.

A thesis is never a list. "For political, economic, social and cultural reasons, communism collapsed in Eastern Europe" does a good job of "telegraphing" the reader what to expect in the essay—a section about political reasons, a section about economic reasons, a section about social reasons, and a section about cultural reasons. However, political, economic, social and cultural reasons are pretty much the only possible reasons why communism could collapse. This sentence lacks tension and doesn't advance an argument. Everyone knows that politics, economics, and culture are important.

A thesis should never be vague, combative or confrontational. An ineffective thesis would be, "Communism collapsed in Eastern Europe because communism is evil." This is hard to argue (evil from whose perspective? what does evil mean?) and it is likely to mark you as moralistic and judgmental rather than rational and thorough. It also may spark a defensive reaction from readers sympathetic to communism. If readers strongly disagree with you right off the bat, they may stop reading.

An effective thesis has a definable, arguable claim. "While cultural forces contributed to the collapse of communism in Eastern Europe, the disintegration of economies played the key role in driving its decline" is an effective thesis sentence that "telegraphs," so that the reader expects the essay to have a section about cultural forces and another about the disintegration of economies. This thesis makes a definite, arguable claim: that the disintegration of economies played a more important role than cultural forces in defeating communism in Eastern Europe. The reader would react to this statement by thinking, "Perhaps what the author says is true, but I am not convinced. I want to read further to see how the author argues this claim."

A thesis should be as clear and specific as possible. Avoid overused, general terms and abstractions. For example, "Communism collapsed in Eastern Europe because of the ruling elite's inability to address the economic concerns of the people" is more powerful than "Communism collapsed due to societal discontent."

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9.1 Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statement

Learning objectives.

Develop a strong, clear thesis statement with the proper elements.
Revise your thesis statement.

Have you ever known a person who was not very good at telling stories? You probably had trouble following his train of thought as he jumped around from point to point, either being too brief in places that needed further explanation or providing too many details on a meaningless element. Maybe he told the end of the story first, then moved to the beginning and later added details to the middle. His ideas were probably scattered, and the story did not flow very well. When the story was over, you probably had many questions.

Just as a personal anecdote can be a disorganized mess, an essay can fall into the same trap of being out of order and confusing. That is why writers need a thesis statement to provide a specific focus for their essay and to organize what they are about to discuss in the body.

Just like a topic sentence summarizes a single paragraph, the thesis statement summarizes an entire essay. It tells the reader the point you want to make in your essay, while the essay itself supports that point. It is like a signpost that signals the essay’s destination. You should form your thesis before you begin to organize an essay, but you may find that it needs revision as the essay develops.

Elements of a Thesis Statement

For every essay you write, you must focus on a central idea. This idea stems from a topic you have chosen or been assigned or from a question your teacher has asked. It is not enough merely to discuss a general topic or simply answer a question with a yes or no. You have to form a specific opinion, and then articulate that into a controlling idea —the main idea upon which you build your thesis.

Remember that a thesis is not the topic itself, but rather your interpretation of the question or subject. For whatever topic your professor gives you, you must ask yourself, “What do I want to say about it?” Asking and then answering this question is vital to forming a thesis that is precise, forceful and confident.

A thesis is one sentence long and appears toward the end of your introduction. It is specific and focuses on one to three points of a single idea—points that are able to be demonstrated in the body. It forecasts the content of the essay and suggests how you will organize your information. Remember that a thesis statement does not summarize an issue but rather dissects it.

A Strong Thesis Statement

A strong thesis statement contains the following qualities.

Specificity. A thesis statement must concentrate on a specific area of a general topic. As you may recall, the creation of a thesis statement begins when you choose a broad subject and then narrow down its parts until you pinpoint a specific aspect of that topic. For example, health care is a broad topic, but a proper thesis statement would focus on a specific area of that topic, such as options for individuals without health care coverage.

Precision. A strong thesis statement must be precise enough to allow for a coherent argument and to remain focused on the topic. If the specific topic is options for individuals without health care coverage, then your precise thesis statement must make an exact claim about it, such as that limited options exist for those who are uninsured by their employers. You must further pinpoint what you are going to discuss regarding these limited effects, such as whom they affect and what the cause is.

Ability to be argued. A thesis statement must present a relevant and specific argument. A factual statement often is not considered arguable. Be sure your thesis statement contains a point of view that can be supported with evidence.

Ability to be demonstrated. For any claim you make in your thesis, you must be able to provide reasons and examples for your opinion. You can rely on personal observations in order to do this, or you can consult outside sources to demonstrate that what you assert is valid. A worthy argument is backed by examples and details.

Forcefulness. A thesis statement that is forceful shows readers that you are, in fact, making an argument. The tone is assertive and takes a stance that others might oppose.

Confidence. In addition to using force in your thesis statement, you must also use confidence in your claim. Phrases such as I feel or I believe actually weaken the readers’ sense of your confidence because these phrases imply that you are the only person who feels the way you do. In other words, your stance has insufficient backing. Taking an authoritative stance on the matter persuades your readers to have faith in your argument and open their minds to what you have to say.

Even in a personal essay that allows the use of first person, your thesis should not contain phrases such as in my opinion or I believe . These statements reduce your credibility and weaken your argument. Your opinion is more convincing when you use a firm attitude.

On a separate sheet of paper, write a thesis statement for each of the following topics. Remember to make each statement specific, precise, demonstrable, forceful and confident.

Texting while driving
The legal drinking age in the United States
Steroid use among professional athletes

Examples of Appropriate Thesis Statements

Each of the following thesis statements meets several of the following requirements:

Specificity
Ability to be argued
Ability to be demonstrated
Forcefulness
The societal and personal struggles of Troy Maxon in the play Fences symbolize the challenge of black males who lived through segregation and integration in the United States.
Closing all American borders for a period of five years is one solution that will tackle illegal immigration.
Shakespeare’s use of dramatic irony in Romeo and Juliet spoils the outcome for the audience and weakens the plot.
J. D. Salinger’s character in Catcher in the Rye , Holden Caulfield, is a confused rebel who voices his disgust with phonies, yet in an effort to protect himself, he acts like a phony on many occasions.
Compared to an absolute divorce, no-fault divorce is less expensive, promotes fairer settlements, and reflects a more realistic view of the causes for marital breakdown.
Exposing children from an early age to the dangers of drug abuse is a sure method of preventing future drug addicts.
In today’s crumbling job market, a high school diploma is not significant enough education to land a stable, lucrative job.

You can find thesis statements in many places, such as in the news; in the opinions of friends, coworkers or teachers; and even in songs you hear on the radio. Become aware of thesis statements in everyday life by paying attention to people’s opinions and their reasons for those opinions. Pay attention to your own everyday thesis statements as well, as these can become material for future essays.

Now that you have read about the contents of a good thesis statement and have seen examples, take a look at the pitfalls to avoid when composing your own thesis:

A thesis is weak when it is simply a declaration of your subject or a description of what you will discuss in your essay.

Weak thesis statement: My paper will explain why imagination is more important than knowledge.

A thesis is weak when it makes an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insults the opposing side.

Weak thesis statement: Religious radicals across America are trying to legislate their Puritanical beliefs by banning required high school books.

A thesis is weak when it contains an obvious fact or something that no one can disagree with or provides a dead end.

Weak thesis statement: Advertising companies use sex to sell their products.

A thesis is weak when the statement is too broad.

Weak thesis statement: The life of Abraham Lincoln was long and challenging.

Read the following thesis statements. On a separate piece of paper, identify each as weak or strong. For those that are weak, list the reasons why. Then revise the weak statements so that they conform to the requirements of a strong thesis.

The subject of this paper is my experience with ferrets as pets.
The government must expand its funding for research on renewable energy resources in order to prepare for the impending end of oil.
Edgar Allan Poe was a poet who lived in Baltimore during the nineteenth century.
In this essay, I will give you lots of reasons why slot machines should not be legalized in Baltimore.
Despite his promises during his campaign, President Kennedy took few executive measures to support civil rights legislation.
Because many children’s toys have potential safety hazards that could lead to injury, it is clear that not all children’s toys are safe.
My experience with young children has taught me that I want to be a disciplinary parent because I believe that a child without discipline can be a parent’s worst nightmare.

Writing at Work

Often in your career, you will need to ask your boss for something through an e-mail. Just as a thesis statement organizes an essay, it can also organize your e-mail request. While your e-mail will be shorter than an essay, using a thesis statement in your first paragraph quickly lets your boss know what you are asking for, why it is necessary, and what the benefits are. In short body paragraphs, you can provide the essential information needed to expand upon your request.

Thesis Statement Revision

Your thesis will probably change as you write, so you will need to modify it to reflect exactly what you have discussed in your essay. Remember from Chapter 8 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” that your thesis statement begins as a working thesis statement , an indefinite statement that you make about your topic early in the writing process for the purpose of planning and guiding your writing.

Working thesis statements often become stronger as you gather information and form new opinions and reasons for those opinions. Revision helps you strengthen your thesis so that it matches what you have expressed in the body of the paper.

The best way to revise your thesis statement is to ask questions about it and then examine the answers to those questions. By challenging your own ideas and forming definite reasons for those ideas, you grow closer to a more precise point of view, which you can then incorporate into your thesis statement.

Ways to Revise Your Thesis

You can cut down on irrelevant aspects and revise your thesis by taking the following steps:

1. Pinpoint and replace all nonspecific words, such as people , everything , society , or life , with more precise words in order to reduce any vagueness.

Working thesis: Young people have to work hard to succeed in life.

Revised thesis: Recent college graduates must have discipline and persistence in order to find and maintain a stable job in which they can use and be appreciated for their talents.

The revised thesis makes a more specific statement about success and what it means to work hard. The original includes too broad a range of people and does not define exactly what success entails. By replacing those general words like people and work hard , the writer can better focus his or her research and gain more direction in his or her writing.

2. Clarify ideas that need explanation by asking yourself questions that narrow your thesis.

Working thesis: The welfare system is a joke.

Revised thesis: The welfare system keeps a socioeconomic class from gaining employment by alluring members of that class with unearned income, instead of programs to improve their education and skill sets.

A joke means many things to many people. Readers bring all sorts of backgrounds and perspectives to the reading process and would need clarification for a word so vague. This expression may also be too informal for the selected audience. By asking questions, the writer can devise a more precise and appropriate explanation for joke . The writer should ask himself or herself questions similar to the 5WH questions. (See Chapter 8 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” for more information on the 5WH questions.) By incorporating the answers to these questions into a thesis statement, the writer more accurately defines his or her stance, which will better guide the writing of the essay.

3. Replace any linking verbs with action verbs. Linking verbs are forms of the verb to be , a verb that simply states that a situation exists.

Working thesis: Kansas City schoolteachers are not paid enough.

Revised thesis: The Kansas City legislature cannot afford to pay its educators, resulting in job cuts and resignations in a district that sorely needs highly qualified and dedicated teachers.

The linking verb in this working thesis statement is the word are . Linking verbs often make thesis statements weak because they do not express action. Rather, they connect words and phrases to the second half of the sentence. Readers might wonder, “Why are they not paid enough?” But this statement does not compel them to ask many more questions. The writer should ask himself or herself questions in order to replace the linking verb with an action verb, thus forming a stronger thesis statement, one that takes a more definitive stance on the issue:

Who is not paying the teachers enough?
What is considered “enough”?
What is the problem?
What are the results

4. Omit any general claims that are hard to support.

Working thesis: Today’s teenage girls are too sexualized.

Revised thesis: Teenage girls who are captivated by the sexual images on MTV are conditioned to believe that a woman’s worth depends on her sensuality, a feeling that harms their self-esteem and behavior.

It is true that some young women in today’s society are more sexualized than in the past, but that is not true for all girls. Many girls have strict parents, dress appropriately, and do not engage in sexual activity while in middle school and high school. The writer of this thesis should ask the following questions:

Which teenage girls?
What constitutes “too” sexualized?
Why are they behaving that way?
Where does this behavior show up?
What are the repercussions?

In the first section of Chapter 8 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” , you determined your purpose for writing and your audience. You then completed a freewriting exercise about an event you recently experienced and chose a general topic to write about. Using that general topic, you then narrowed it down by answering the 5WH questions. After you answered these questions, you chose one of the three methods of prewriting and gathered possible supporting points for your working thesis statement.

Now, on a separate sheet of paper, write down your working thesis statement. Identify any weaknesses in this sentence and revise the statement to reflect the elements of a strong thesis statement. Make sure it is specific, precise, arguable, demonstrable, forceful, and confident.

Collaboration

Please share with a classmate and compare your answers.

In your career you may have to write a project proposal that focuses on a particular problem in your company, such as reinforcing the tardiness policy. The proposal would aim to fix the problem; using a thesis statement would clearly state the boundaries of the problem and tell the goals of the project. After writing the proposal, you may find that the thesis needs revision to reflect exactly what is expressed in the body. Using the techniques from this chapter would apply to revising that thesis.

Key Takeaways

Proper essays require a thesis statement to provide a specific focus and suggest how the essay will be organized.
A thesis statement is your interpretation of the subject, not the topic itself.
A strong thesis is specific, precise, forceful, confident, and is able to be demonstrated.
A strong thesis challenges readers with a point of view that can be debated and can be supported with evidence.
A weak thesis is simply a declaration of your topic or contains an obvious fact that cannot be argued.
Depending on your topic, it may or may not be appropriate to use first person point of view.
Revise your thesis by ensuring all words are specific, all ideas are exact, and all verbs express action.

Writing for Success Copyright © 2015 by University of Minnesota Libraries Publishing is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

Share This Book

Part One: Analysis of problematic thesis statements

1) What is wrong with this thesis? How can you revise it to make it more effective?

Show Answer? Writing “in this essay I will prove x” does not express how or why you are making your argument, so it should be avoided whenever possible. A better form of this thesis would refer to the main reasoning behind the claim, allowing the reader to predict how the paper will unfold. For example, “Because of the inconclusive evidence for the usefulness of drugs such as Prozac or Paxil to treat depression, their widespread usage should be more carefully scrutinized” would be a more specific thesis which better outlines the paper’s argument.

Show Answer? The Long Walk exemplifies the evils of laissez-faire capitalism through its depiction of the main characters’ competition amongst themselves, alienation from each other, and exploitation by commercial media.”')" /> This thesis has two main problems: lack of specific evidence and too much hedging. The author should reference specific aspects of the book which suggest this interpretation in order to make a stronger and more acceptable claim. Additionally, the use of “it seems” and “in my opinion” weaken the claim by showing that the author may not believe his or her own words on this subject. A better thesis might be “Stephen King’s The Long Walk exemplifies the evils of laissez-faire capitalism through its depiction of the main characters’ competition amongst themselves, alienation from each other, and exploitation by commercial media.”

Show Answer? The Great Gatsby does thematically allude to the “American Dream,” this is a “swashbuckling” thesis which makes too grand of a statement to be effectively supported in simply one essay, or even in one book. The author should specify under what context he or she is judging The Great Gatsby (American novels? 20th-century novels across the world? 20th-century Western novels?) and refer to the main reasoning behind this assertion (Is it the strength of the thematic elements? The descriptive prose? The witty dialogue?). In other words, the author has not established the HOW (context) and WHY (reasoning) of the thesis. A better version of this thesis might state “ The Great Gatsby is widely regarded one of the best 20th-century American novels due to its rich symbolism: success, knowledge, corruption and alienation are but a few of the themes explored in Fitzgerald’s novel, but together they form a meaningful commentary on living the American Dream.”')" /> While The Great Gatsby does thematically allude to the “American Dream,” this is a “swashbuckling” thesis which makes too grand of a statement to be effectively supported in simply one essay, or even in one book. The author should specify under what context he or she is judging The Great Gatsby u> (American novels? 20th-century novels across the world? 20th-century Western novels?) and refer to the main reasoning behind this assertion (Is it the strength of the thematic elements? The descriptive prose? The witty dialogue?). In other words, the author has not established the HOW (context) and WHY (reasoning) of the thesis. A better version of this thesis might state “ The Great Gatsby is widely regarded one of the best 20th-century American novels due to its rich symbolism: success, knowledge, corruption and alienation are but a few of the themes explored in Fitzgerald’s novel, but together they form a meaningful commentary on living the American Dream.”

Show Answer? This is statement cannot act as a thesis because it does not answer a question or make an arguable claim. It cannot be disputed that college education is generally becoming more expensive, but the reader will ask “so what?” This statement can act as evidence to support a governing claim, but the governing claim should address a larger question which requires multiple pieces of evidence to support it. A more expansive thesis might something like: “While a college education is meant to be a gateway for any citizen to achieve success through hard work, the rising cost of college tuition along with more difficult loan-application processes have made attending college more and more a socioeconomic class-based activity.”

Show Answer? Not necessarily; in fact, you should have a fair amount of research and perhaps some analytical writing completed before attempting to refine your thesis. Because the thesis also acts as a governing claim to your paper, mapping out the main points of your argument, you will want to have a thorough concept of what your entire argument will be before condensing it into a thesis statement. Additionally, trying to create a thesis simply from a question or preconceptions about a topic may tempt you to overlook any evidence which refutes that thesis while in the writing process. For step-by-step instructions on how to form a thesis after writing the body of your paper, see “The Thesis Statement: Where to End, Not Begin.”

Show Answer? The two films differ greatly, because one focuses on close friendship between two women whereas the other focuses on a more casual friendship between two men.

“In The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde , Robert Louis Stevenson symbolizes English upper and lower-class society.”

Show Answer? The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde , Robert Louis Stevenson symbolizes the disparity between upper and lower-class society through the opposing physical and psychological characteristics of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.')" /> In The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde , Robert Louis Stevenson symbolizes the disparity between upper and lower-class society through the opposing physical and psychological characteristics of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

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Tips and Examples for Writing Thesis Statements

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Tips for Writing Your Thesis Statement

1. Determine what kind of paper you are writing:

An analytical paper breaks down an issue or an idea into its component parts, evaluates the issue or idea, and presents this breakdown and evaluation to the audience.
An expository (explanatory) paper explains something to the audience.
An argumentative paper makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with specific evidence. The claim could be an opinion, a policy proposal, an evaluation, a cause-and-effect statement, or an interpretation. The goal of the argumentative paper is to convince the audience that the claim is true based on the evidence provided.

If you are writing a text that does not fall under these three categories (e.g., a narrative), a thesis statement somewhere in the first paragraph could still be helpful to your reader.

2. Your thesis statement should be specific—it should cover only what you will discuss in your paper and should be supported with specific evidence.

3. The thesis statement usually appears at the end of the first paragraph of a paper.

4. Your topic may change as you write, so you may need to revise your thesis statement to reflect exactly what you have discussed in the paper.

Thesis Statement Examples

Example of an analytical thesis statement:

The paper that follows should:

Explain the analysis of the college admission process
Explain the challenge facing admissions counselors

Example of an expository (explanatory) thesis statement:

Explain how students spend their time studying, attending class, and socializing with peers

Example of an argumentative thesis statement:

Present an argument and give evidence to support the claim that students should pursue community projects before entering college

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8.1: Thesis Statements - simple and complex

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TOPIC VERSUS THESIS?

The subject you are writing about is the topic. Add your opinion to a topic to create a thesis.

Topic + opinion = thesis

Add the significance to make a more complex thesis:

Topic + opinion + so what? = thesis

WHAT IS A THESIS?

The thesis is the main point of an essay, a focused, arguable statement which allows the reader to make predictions about the reading.

WHAT ARE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF AN EFFECTIVE THESIS?

The language is clear , straight-forward and can’t be misunderstood.
It is contestable and arguable. Ask yourself: Could someone disagree? The answer should be yes.
It is concentrated on a focused point: not too broad and not too narrow, but the right size for the assignment.
It is complex and delves into the larger significance or impact.
It is compelling and draws in your readers’ interest and makes them want to read more to see how you prove your claim.
It is directly connected to the prompt/question/assignment for the essay.

A THESIS IS NOT:

Why use a thesis.

It allows the reader to make predictions about the reading.
It guides the writer to stay focused on the main idea of the essay.
It generates thought, evidence and analysis.
What am I trying to accomplish in this essay?
What do I want to convince my reader of?

HOW DO I KNOW IT'S A THESIS?

TOPIC + OPINION = THESIS

A thesis is TOPIC + OPINION so you need to make sure that opinion in present or else it is not a thesis statement. The opinion is what makes a thesis arguable and it provides the purpose and focus for the paper: to convince your reader of that opinion.

Locating the Opinion in a Thesis: When you look for the opinion in a thesis, ask yourself: What is the writer’s attitude towards the topic? For example, in the sentence “Backpacking in the mountains last year was an exciting experience,” the topic is “backpacking” and the opinion is that this trip was “exciting.” Another person on the same trip might have had a different attitude and may have found the trip boring or exhausting. “Exciting” reveals the writer’s attitude and also indicates what the essay with this thesis statement will be focused on: demonstrating why it was “exciting.” This thesis statement limits the writer’s focus and clearly tells the reader what the essay will be about.

Practice: Topic and Opinion of a thesis

Put a box around the TOPIC and underline the OPINION words below. If there are no opinion words, it is not a thesis :

The subject of unwarranted fears, most bats are harmless and highly beneficial.
Vigorous exercise is a good way to reduce the effects of stress on the body.
Buffalo and Toronto differ in four major ways.
Developing color film is more complicated than developing black and white.
In this essay I will discuss abortion.
Television is destroying the unity of the modern family.
In her essay, Erlich shows that there is a balance of community and isolation in her hometown.

Put a box around the TOPIC and underline the OPINION words below:

The subject of unwarranted fears, most bats are harmless and highly beneficial .
In this essay I will discuss abortion (no opinion words—not a thesis)
In her essay, Erlich shows that there is a balance of community and isolation in her hometown .

HOW DO I KNOW IT'S A COMPLEX THESIS?

TOPIC + OPINION + SO WHAT? = COMPLEX THESIS

A complex thesis is TOPIC + OPINION + SO WHAT? To form an arguable thesis, add opinion to a topic, and to make a more complex thesis, add “so what?” So what is the larger significance, the implications, and/or the outcomes of what you are arguing?

Practice: List the thesis topic and opinion

Below are student-created thesis statements about non-fiction texts. For each thesis, list the TOPIC, the OPINION and the “SO WHAT?”

THESIS STATEMENTS ON NON-FICTION TEXTS:

(1) In Field Notes from a Catastrophe, Elizabeth Kolbert seeks to use the evidence she has collected across her years of worldwide travel to show how we should best address climate change. Kolbert uses the island of Samsø to support her case for the mass implementation of alternative energy sources, but she does not point out the many cons that come with the use of alternative energy sources that are wind, biofuels, and solar which is reason enough to refrain from attempts at a greater implementation of them until problems of space, waste, and cost are addressed. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________ (2) In her book Field Notes from a Catastrophe , Elizabeth Kolbert argues that everybody needs to work on ending humans’ carbon emissions to prevent catastrophic climate change on our planet. However, at this point, catastrophic climate change in inevitable, so instead we need to focus our efforts on researching ways to make the new climates survivable. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________

(3) T.V Reed in his book The Art of Protest, argues that environmentalism has been coded as a “white issue.” If those raising the awareness are perceived as largely white and well-off preaching to and within the same demographic, the probability of those most impacted, namely the poor communities of color who disproportionately suffer environmental hazards and toxic dumps, having a voice is dismal, so meaningful change will not occur. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________ (4) In The Art of Protest , T.V. Reed in his chapter “Singing Civil Rights,” says that music during the time of the Civil Rights Movement soulfully spoke about the oppressions of racism against blacks in America. Nowadays, Hip-Hop is one of the main driving forces keeping the conversation going about the continued inequalities that blacks suffer, and this is particularly important in an age of rising police brutality targeted at black men. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________ (5) In I Am Malala, Malala Yousafzai shows how education can be used to combat terrorism in Pakistan because when people become more educated, they can more confidently self-advocate and are less susceptible to being falsely seduced by empty propaganda, so if the country follows Malala’s lead, it can rid itself of the Taliban influence. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________

(6) Malala Yousafzai’s story, as told in her book I am Malala , is powerful and her cause is admirable but her idea that education combats terrorism is simplistic and glosses over the importance of the geopolitical situation Pakistan finds itself in. Education in this environment is no guarantee of deradicalization and may even work to galvanize their cause. In a political context of postcolonial exploitation where foreign governments actively try to destabilize the country and fund extremist groups, education will just make more effective terrorists. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________ (7) In Anthony Swofford’s Jarhead , we see a military culture of toxic masculinity—where relationships with women are transactional, showing emotional sensitivity is weakness, and violence is the preferred method of conflict resolution. This phenomenon is systemic in all branches of the military and is the catalyst for the extensive number of sexual harassment cases, rape, and high rates of suicide for service members. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________ (8) In Jarhead, Anthony Swofford described how the soldier’s first amendment rights are suspended once they sign the military contract. This silencing ensures that the Marines continue to follow orders from the “top” without any objections, and this control ensures that the interests of the rich and powerful are protected while the rights of the soldiers as U.S. citizens are violated, and this enables war for profit to continue. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________

(1) Topic : greater implementation of alternative energy sources Opinion: problems with alternative energy are not satisfactorily solved So What? wider implementation of alternative energy could worsen current problems of space, waste and cost

(2) Topic : catastrophic climate change Opinion: catastrophic climate change is inevitable So What? need to refocus efforts from reducing carbon emissions to adaptation and survival

(3) Topic : only whites leading environment movement Opinion: non-whites most impacted but no voice So What? no change

(4) Topic : music conveying black oppression Opinion: today hip-hop conveys on-going black oppression So What? importantly exposes rise in police brutality targeting black men

(5) Topic : education to combat terrorism in Pakistan Opinion: more education leads to people self-advocating and not being tricked by propaganda So What? Pakistan can rid itself of Taliban

(6) Topic : education to combat terrorism in Pakistan Opinion: foreign countries are actively trying to destabilize Pakistan and are funding extremists So What? education will make more effective terrorists

(7) Topic : military culture of toxic masculinity Opinion: toxic masculinity is systemic in all branches of military So What? leads to sexual harassment, rape and suicide

(8) Topic : freedom of speech of soldiers suspended Opinion: silence allows the rich and powerful to use soldiers as they like So What? allows war for profit to continue

Practice: List the "topic", "opinion" and "so what"?

Below are student-created thesis statements about fiction texts. For each thesis, list the TOPIC, the OPINION and the “SO WHAT?”

THESIS STATEMENTS ON FICTION TEXTS: POETRY

(1) Before the abolition of slavery in 1865, Frances Ellen Watkins Harper, fashioned her poem “Bury Me in a Free Land” to sharpen the glaring contradiction between the most cherished American value of freedom, and its antithesis expressed in the enslavement and brutalization of African Americans. Harper thereby forces her readers to come to terms with their own hypocrisy as Americans to hasten the demise of slavery. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________ (2) In the different stanzas in her poem “Bury Me in a Free Land,” Frances Ellen Watkins Harper, gives graphic snapshots depicting the horrors of slavery: blacks sold like animals on the auction block, escaped blacks being hunted down, blacks being whipped and beaten bloody, black babies being taken from mothers. Unfortunately, African-Americans living in the “land of the free” today still suffer many of these same forms of injustice as their labor continues to be exploited, as they suffer higher rates of profiling and murder, and as their families continue to be torn apart due to mass incarceration. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________

THESIS STATEMENTS ON FICTION TEXTS: Short Stories

(3) In Zora Neale Hurston’s short story “Sweat,” Sykes, a black man living in the Jim Crow South, constantly feels the need to assert his masculinity over Delia through acts of abuse and adultery in order to make up for insecurities resulting from his failure to fulfill the traditional male roles of provider and protector. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________ (4) In her short story “Sweat,” Zora Neale Hurston makes her reader feel empathy for the main character Delia, a hardworking woman who endures years of mental and physical abuse from her husband. Through helping her reader care about Delia, Hurston enables her reader to feel the triple burden of oppression of being black, female and poor in America. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________

THESIS STATEMENTS ON FICTION TEXTS: Plays (Drama)

(5) Yusef’s wife, Anbara, writes revolutionary articles in the play Tennis in Nablus by Ismail Khalidi highlighting women’s empowerment and support as absolutely essential for the success of any movement or revolution that aspires toward real change. Khalidi uses symbolism and imagery to demonstrate that a primary reason for the failure of the Palestinian nation to escape the abuse of their British oppressors was because of their refusal to empower the most deeply oppressed members of their own society, their women. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________ (6) In his play Tennis in Nablus , Ismail Khalidi creates an emotional connection for his audience to the struggle of the Palestinians in their revolt against the British in the 1930s by describing a division within a family and using it as a metaphor for the divisive impact of colonization in Palestine then and afterwards. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________

THESIS STATEMENTS ON FICTION TEXTS: Novels

(7) In Reading Lolita in Tehran , Azar Nafisi demonstrates how literature is not only powerful enough to become a threat against oppressive regimes, but that it also emotionally liberates those who are covertly standing against the oppressive government. By studying Vladimir Nabokov’s novel Lolita in their secret book club, Nafisi and her students were able to relate to Lolita’s struggle but also reject being passive victims, which inspires the students to silently resist their oppressive government. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________ (8) In Azar Nafisi's novel, Reading Lolita in Tehran, she incorporates the classic American novel The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald in conjunction with telling the history of and her experiences in the Islamic Republic of Tehran to demonstrate how reconstructing and living in the past only dooms the future. TOPIC: _________________________________________________________________________ OPINION: _______________________________________________________________________ SO WHAT? ______________________________________________________________________

(1) Topic : American values of freedom versus slavery Opinion: American values of freedom contradict slavery So What? coming to terms with this hypocrisy hastens the end of slavery

(2) Topic : treatment of African-Americans during slavery versus now Opinion: the ways blacks suffered during slavery can still be seen today So What? African-Americans are still not truly free

(3) Topic : Sykes’ abuse of Delia Opinion: abuse results from need to assert masculinity So What? need to assert masculinity results from failure to be provider and protector. Implied: racism has emasculated, disempowered and embittered Sykes

(4) Topic : empathy for Delia Opinion: Hurston makes her reader feel empathy for Delia So What? empathy will lead to understanding the oppression resulting from race, gender, and class

(5) Topic : Palestinian revolt against the British Opinion: women are essential to revolution and real change So What? Palestinian revolt failed due to not empowering their own women

(6) Topic : Palestinian revolt against the British Opinion: emotional connection is made through divided family So What? divided family a metaphor for Palestine then and after

(7) Topic : Nafisi’s use of Lolita Opinion: Lolita helped the women to reject being passive victims So What? inspires silent resistance to government

(8) Topic : Nafisi’s use of The Great Gatsby Opinion: Nafisi uses The Great Gatsby to comment on the Islamic Republic So What? shows reconstructing and living in past dooms the future

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Thesis Statement Throwdown!

Every English teacher has experienced the frustration of introducing a writing skill, like how to write a thesis statement, over and over again without it “sticking.”

Three years ago, I began “flipping” my writing instruction, so students watch videos on my YouTube channel , take Cornell notes, then come prepared to class to do the actual writing. I love this approach to teaching writing! Students can watch my explanations as many times as they need to over the course of the year. Plus, I get to support them as they write in class. (See my post on synchronous editing ).

Alas, there are always students who need more practice. That said, I can only read so many essays in a year. Instead of feeling frustrated, I decided to design a fun activity to practice writing thesis statements. This is how thesis statement throwdown was born!

Thesis throwdown is a quirky combination of group collaboration, writing practice, funky music, and competition. Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Write an essay prompt on the board. I vary my questions between informative and argumentative topics. KQED’s Do Now series is an excellent place to grab writing prompts!

Step 2: Put students into small groups and give them 5 minutes to construct a solid thesis statement in response to the essay question. The conversations that take place are incredible!

Step 3: Randomly select two groups to compete. I don’t tell them ahead of time who will compete in the actual throwdown because I want everyone to give it 100%.

Step 4: As each group writes their thesis statements on separate whiteboard, I play a fun but slightly random song. Our thesis throwdown music list has ranged from “Everybody Dance Now” to “Eye of the Tiger.” My philosophy is that the music keeps everyone interested and entertained while the two groups write their thesis statements on the board.

Step 5: Once both thesis statements are written on the board, I turn off the music and set to work! I edit each thesis statement and “think out loud” as I work, so students can hear what I am responding to in a positive way–strong vocabulary, parallel language, and clearly stated assertion–and what needs to be added, removed or edited. The more I let them into my process as an editor, the more likely they are to successfully edit their own work.

Finally, a winner is declared!

The entire activity takes 10 minutes from beginning to end. It’s hard to believe a writing activity can be so much fun, but this is really entertaining if you add the music and just have fun with it.

In the two weeks, we’ve done thesis statement throwdown, I am shocked by the improvement in the quality of the thesis statements. It’s worth a try if you are feeling like your students just aren’t delivering quality thesis statements. After all, the thesis is the most important sentence of an essay. We want students to leave our classes confident crafting a strong thesis statement!

48 Responses

Love it. I’ve actually been struggling with helping my GRE prep students with the essays. Can’t wait to try this out. I don’t use any music in my classes, so I’m sure turning it on will create a memorable moment they’ll associate with the theses for a long time:)

Jeremy http://stuartmillenglish.com

I hope they enjoy it, Jeremy! I’m sure the addition of music will make it interesting 😉

I read your page as a student at Heaton Middle School it helps understand your point of view.

[…] Thesis Statement Throwdown! Every English teacher has experienced the frustration of introducing a writing skill, like how to write a thesis statement, over and over again without it “sticking.” […]

[…] http://cluttered-record.flywheelsites.com/2015/02/thesis-statement-throwdown/ […]

Love it! What fabulousness do you do to help them write hooks that go beyond the BrainyQuote or “Do you have a hero? I have a hero. Let me tell you about my hero” hooks.

Pretend there’s a question mark on the end there… 🙂

No, I’ve only done this with thesis statements at this point. That said, I can imagine it would be fun for almost any type of writing review.

I teach seventh grade and I can’t wait to try this with my students.

As a wrter, editor, photojournalist & author for more than 67 years, I applaud this approach to an often-difficult task for novice writers. Way to go, Catlin. Wish I’d had teachers like you back in the 1940s when I was in hight school. – DigitalKen

[…] ideas either and sometimes it is a fine line with engagement as well. So, I modified this idea from Catlin Tucker who is just simply AMAZING and if you haven’t visited her site, you are REALLY missing […]

I think this is a winning idea for several reasons! First of all, I’m really intrigued by the idea of flipping the writing instruction so that students are doing more of their writing practice in the classroom where the support is available. I would imagine that this would lead to less student frustration and that students are finding themselves better equipped to tackle the roadblocks that occur during writing. I like the fact that this activity asks students to work collaboratively to create thesis statements and build off of each other’s ideas. Also, I really like the fact that the teacher models editing and thinking out loud. This is a great way to show students what you mean, rather than just telling them. Finally, making this activity fun with music and good-natured competition will most likely make for more engaged students. Love the fact that this idea can be adaptable to other mini writing lessons. Thanks for the great idea!

Thank you, Sara! Not only do the kids enjoy this activity, but their thesis statements have improved so much in such a short window of time. I also plan to use the same strategy for other mini writing lessons.

Take care. Catlin

Thank you, Catlin! This is a great way to practice thesis statements. I will try it this fall.

I love this idea. Getting students to write thesis statements and then support those statements with well-crafted topic sentences are the keys to building an argument. It’s a skill the students struggle with but is such a key skill to success in all subjects. A variation to this could be to get another group to edit the students’ thesis statements.

My students absolutely love this activity. It got amazing reviews at the end of the year. I’m trying to figure out how to use a similar strategy to analyze textual evidence.

I hope your kids enjoy it!

[…] #1 Thesis Statement Throwdown […]

Is there a place where writing prompts are put together without the instructor having to create them? If so, this would be a great help. My urban seventh graders need many, many practice prompts to become adept at creating introductory sentences and thesis statements.

I design many of my own writing prompts. I also grab topics from KQED Do Now ( http://ww2.kqed.org/education/category/do-now ) and the released SAT essay prompts ( https://professionals.collegeboard.com/testing/sat-reasoning/prep/essay-prompts ). The KQED Do Now topics will be a better fit for your 7th-grade students than the SAT release questions. Many of the KQED Do Now questions lend themselves to argumentative writing.

Thank you, Catlin! I am a lazy curriculum author looking for an easy way to gather prompts. After thinking about my request, prompts without the context of the article would be kind of useless. I’m in Florida where we had argument tested last year. I have been concentrating on informative this year but have the kids ready for argument just in case. Since text-based writing is new to students, I developed a template for them to follow at the beginning of the year and find them now differentiating their writing from the template.

[…] learned about this activity from Catlin Tucker’s blog. I adapted it a bit, but the idea is the same. My students are in Lit Circles and competing to earn […]

[…] for each prompt. See my post about this step here. The idea was inspired by Catlin Tucker’s blog post. Check it […]

I did this lesson in my 9th grade classes today, and it went really well. One student requested I play Michael Jackson, and I discovered every single kid likes him, so I went with that. Thanks for the great idea!

I’m so glad it went well, Mindi! I will occasionally take requests too 😉

Sorry, but the nature of a good thesis depends to a great extent on the nature of the assignment–the kind of essay you’re being asked to write.

If the assignment is to write an argumentative or persuasive essay, the thesis should be a sentence that clearly states your position on the issue you’re writing about.

If you’re writing an extended definition, a one-sentence formal definition would be a good thesis: “A ____ is a ____ with _____.” (I. e. it should put the thing being defined in its class or category and distinguish it from other members of that class.)

If you’re writing a process analysis, the thesis should describe the process in one sentence–say whether it’s a simple process or a complex one, or mention the number of steps, or simply say in that one sentence what it does.

[…] Tucker’s “Thesis Statement Throwdown”, you can see the original lesson plan here. My mini-lesson is totally different from Tucker’s, but if you look hard into hers, you can […]

I might give this a try with my ESL students in China. Getting them to write thesis statements hasn’t been easy, even for the smartest ones. Solid idea. Thanks.

Since their first language is not English, I think I’ll probably give them more than 5 minutes to come up with their thesis statements though.

Love this and planning on trying it in class tomorrow! Should you see this before then – how do you go about choosing a winner? Do you “judge” the edited or unedited versions of the thesis statements?

Hi Shannon,

I judge the original versions since I make the edits.

Catlin –

Love the Thesis Statement Throwdown and would like to share it with our teachers as way to provide feedback. Would it be okay to link to your site in a document that we are sharing with our teachers? It will be in our curriculum repository that is only accessible to teachers in Fairfax County Public Schools. Thank you for your consideration.

Yes, you are more than welcome to link to my site! I hope it’s a useful resource for your teachers.

Thank you for sharing! I teach AP US History and the students struggle with developing thesis statements. I look forward in using this strategy with my AP kids.

[…] KQED’s Do Now series is an excellent place to grab writing prompts! […]

I did this with my juniors today and it was great. I chose really thought provoking prompts from the website you recommended. I did it three times and saw the thesis statements improve with each round. This was really engaging and the first time I’ve taught thesis statements in a fun way. Thank you for sharing.

I’m currently in my education clinicals (student teaching with one class), and I’ll be using this activity tomorrow with high school seniors. They struggled with thesis statements, so I’m hoping this will be a fun way to practice!

I love this idea, but after students show some improvement (or even at the beginning of the process), how can students be more in charge of their learning? In other words, I’d love for students to be the ones acting as the Editor and doing the judging. Maybe using a few strong writers of the group be a guest judge and let them lead by example? I don’t want to be gatekeeper forever, and I believe students will and can step up when given the chance. Love the idea. Going to try soon!

Absolutely, Jane! Once kids can hear you talk through correcting a few and have a better handle on what a strong thesis statement looks like, they should absolutely be able to give each other feedback!

Can any one give me a feedback about my thesis statement, thank you in advance

“Although most students have an awareness about basic academic integrity in their previous education; it is significant to students taking a class about academic integrity before they apply college or university because of the increasing number of cheating, plagiarism and academic dishonesty in the higher education”.

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This is amazing. Thank you! I’ve been looking for a fun activity to bring the point home with my students. This will definitely help!

Wonderful! I hope they enjoy it!

Catlin! I did this today with my Grade 10’s and was it ever valuable! I did the edits and each one was a learning opportunity for students. We had a quick discussion about each edit and moved on. The lesson flowed beautifully, and the music was a fun touch. I will definitely get students to do the editing after the first few Thursdays (our bellringer for the day) and have them talk through their edits as well. Great lesson! Thanks for sharing.

Yay! I’m so happy to hear that you used this strategy and you all enjoyed it, Wendy!

Just a heads up…your kids will get good at thesis statements FAST, so be prepared for your throwdown to evolve. We started doing analytical throwdowns with quotes after thesis statements and the “throwdown” format worked well for any type of writing practice. I also started taking song requests from the winning teams which they LOVED 😉

[…] Catlin Tucker: Thesis statement throwdown […]

[…] librarian does – I started researching. I came across the idea of the Thesis Throw Down from Catlin Tucker but decided to alter it a bit to put my own spin on it. I tried the lesson a couple of times last […]

I love how you explain it.

I like that you used this strategy.